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Scott Hays
11-20-2005, 11:14 AM
Hey everyone,
My name is Scott Hays, and I'm a photographer in Boise Idaho. I'm brand spankin' new to NILMDTS.

Back on November 23, 1986, on the due date of my wifes and mine first pregnancy, like most parents, we hoped that this would be the day my wife went into labor. The night before, we felt our baby moving around normally, and all was well. Around noon on the 23rd, my wife noticed the baby hadn't moved for quite awhile, so we called our doctor, and all though he didn't think there was much to worry about, he had us meet him at the hospital to reassure us.

When we got there, he did an ultrasound, and our worst fears came true. There was no heart beat. The grief was unimaginable. After inducing labor, several hours later, we delivered what had to be the most beautiful baby girl that had ever been born. We named her Lindsey Breanna. It was so hard to believe that little angel wasn't going to physically be in our lives.

About 15 minutes after we had been holding her, a nurse came in with a Polaroid camera, and talked to us about taking pictures of Lindsey and us. It was a little overwhelming at first, but we agreed. Never have I been so happy to have made a decision in my life. Those pictures are so precious to me now.

As the years have passed, things have gotten easier. We still celebrate Lindseys birthday. We have family that will still send little gifts, and we always buy flowers. The hardest things over the years were the little milestones. When she would have started school, when she would have turned 13 (dont' know if I would have liked the teenage years. I have two of them now. I wonder if she would have been a good teenager). 16, when she would have gotten her drivers license. What would her first boyfriend have been like. She would have graduated this last year. Things like that.

With her birthday coming up, I finally decided this is something that I could do. Cheryl sent me a note when she received my application talking about our children having met and our now playing together. It touched me, and I now know that I'm in the right place. I feel like I'm honoring Lindsey by doing this. After 19 years, I feel like I'm finally able to talk about Lindsey to friends. It freaks them out, but I love that little girl, and she is my daughter and always will be.

Scott

Sandy "Sam" Puc'
11-20-2005, 01:02 PM
Scott,
What a touching story. It is amazing to me that no matter how many stories I read, I am always reduced to tears. I cry for your pain but also for joy that so many people understand what we are trying to do. It takes so much courage to be willing to do this work especially when you have had a personal experience like yours.
Lindsay will be so proud of you. She knows that you miss her.
I am sure she is so proud that her Dad is willing to help all of her new heavenly friends and their earth bound parents have the healing blessings that a simple little portrait can provide.

Blessings to you,
Sam

Kirk Kief
11-20-2005, 01:39 PM
Scott,
Jen and yourself are an inspiration to me. You, and your entire family are in my prayer of Thanks for the pleasure of my being able to know you.

Jen Eagan
11-21-2005, 05:15 AM
Thanks for sharing your story, Scott. It's nice to finally have an outlet to give back, isn't it?

Tammy
11-21-2005, 09:34 AM
Scott,
Thank you for sharing your heart felt story about your daughter Lindsey. Her beautiful being and memory will live on forever; like Sandy mentioned, Lindsey must be so very proud of her dad.
I want to also thank you for becoming involved with NILMDTS as a photographer. Since you have experienced the loss of a baby first hand, you forehold a deep understanding of what parents go through, and should the situation arise for you to be called in to photograph a baby who has passed away, I believe this will be your power and strength; your session will come directly from your heart, and Lindsey will be there with you.

Cheryl Haggard
11-22-2005, 05:58 PM
Scott, thank you for sharing your story about your daughter Lindsey with everyone here. It's encouraging to us that have newly lost a baby, to hear a parent that lost one awhile ago, still talk about their baby. To know that life can and will get easier...

Charlene Lopez
11-22-2005, 09:00 PM
Scott,

Your story touched me deeply, like Cheryl, it gives us newly greiving parents inspiration that things do get better. NILMDTS is lucky to have people like you involved. Thank you for your willingness to give to openly, you will go on to touch many people and make a huge contribution to their healing process.

Warmth,
Charlene