Carrying to Term

[Marlina]

Hello,

My name is Marlina and I am carrying to term. It has been a long and tough road. I found out at 4 1/2 months that some thing was wrong with my little one. I'm only 27 and could not understand why this had happened to me. My baby boy has trisomy 18 and even though the doctors and nurses tell me that I did not do anything to cause this it still hurts. I'm 8 months now and I can't believe I made it this far! He is a strong one still kicking and moving around. I'm very glad I continued now I can have the memories and a chance to see him still.

[Mallorie's Mom]

Hello, Marlina!
I am incredibly happy you made the decision to carry to term. You are a strong woman with tons of strength. I am sure the diagnosis came like a ton of bricks...I can relate. My husband and I went for our twenty week check-up and discovered our second daughter was diagnosed with "Anencephaly". Anencephaly is a neuro tube defect, the tube doesn't close early in the pregnancy approx. 20-28 days but the defect isn't visable until the twenty week sonogram when the baby has developed (we chose not to have the amnio...wasn't a risk we were willing to take). Basically the baby is developing normally except from the eyebrows up. We visited "Alexandra's House" (an infant hospice house) in KCMO and they helped us prepare for the bittersweet road ahead. I saw pictures of babies with Trisomyi 18, so precious. Your little one will be perfect! The memories made upon your delivery are what will get you through in the months post delivery. Enjoy every moment and every kick. I will be praying for you and that you are given time with your precious baby. Sending big hugs.

[Mallorie's Mom]

I posted before I had the opportunity to finish typing...My husband and I welcomed our daughter, Mallorie, on October 1st 2009. Mallorie was with us for 3hrs 49min, we were incredibly thankful for the time we were given. Just last week, after five months, we were finally able to financially purchase Mallorie's tombstone. I still have a long way to go in this process but please know I understand all too well what you are going through. If ya need/want to chat...I'm here. This is such a fantastic site with a world of support from Mommy's and Daddy's who understand.

[jrbrimley]

Hi Marlina,

I know what you are going through. I just went through it. Our little one was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 at about 5 months. We decided to carry to term and it was the BEST decision for us. Avery was born December 29, 2009. She as 4 lbs. 8 oz, 17 1/2 in long and she was full term. I was so excited to meet her. We didn't know how long she would be with us, so each moment became a gift. She lived with us for 26 beautiful days. She returned to heaven on January 23, 2010. I pray that you get to spend some time with your little one too. Please feel free to ask me questions or chat anytime. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Cristi plainjane19@cox.net

[JillinGA]

Sweet blessings for your time together.
Keep us posted.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

BIG HUGS~

[Kirk Kief]

Have you arranged with one of our photographers to be there on the day of delivery? It's a good idea to do this so we are prepared and hopefully able to be there to create images for you and your family.

[MamaBethany]

Dear Marlina, I'll tell you one thing about this group of special mommies here -- we love babies, and we are already head-over-heels in love with your little boy. I'm so sorry about the diagnosis -- but you will not regret honoring his life and choosing to carry to term. Cherish every moment, every second ...and definately like Kirk said, get a photographer lined up. We're here to support you as much or as little as you want.
Jennifer

[HAINAngel2000]

If you need anything at all from HAIN let us know. We will be honored to help you with anything we can offer in this time.

[Marlina]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts a prayers!

[Madge]

Hi Marlina,

My son, Dekar, also had Trisomy 18 along with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I have a memorial site for him (signature line) and you can see his birth plan. It's really helpful to have one put together--it gives you and all the doctors clear direction.

My son lived for eight beautiful hours. A lady who visited my site had her daughter live for over 50 days. You just never know what will happen.

[Marlina]

Madge,

Thank you for sharing with me I am in the process of doing my birth plan and your site is very helpful. I meeting with my OB and nurses on monday they are all very helpful and understanding I'm so glad I have found a great hospital. My first experience at my first hospital was not a great one I actually transfered myself to Rush University they have a great team there.
My son Adan also has defects. One side of his heart is doing most of the work. His hands are clenched and his intestines are outside covered inside the umbilical cord. We opted for no more ultrasounds! It was just to hard to see everytime the different defects. I am also having photos taken of him and keep sake mementos. I want to be alert during thr labor process so great tip about the drugs used for pain!
I love that pic of Dekar he is smiling :-)

[Marlina]

Hey everyone I was wondering did anyone have a pregnancy shower of some sort? I am having what I call a pregnancy celebration with family and close friends. (only people that know what is going on with Adan) so many family and friends want to show their support so I thought it would be a great idea. Just food and conversation. I don't really want to do the regular shower games any ideas of what else I can do? I had a gift made to pass out and it is so cute. It is a heart shaped mint case with a heart sticker on it thats says
"It's a Boy!"
Adan Julian
Due April 28, 2010

[Madge]

The people attending can purchase memory items. Some that are used the day of Adan's arrival and others that could be used afterward. You'll appreciate having castings/mold of his feet and hands. They can give you a certificate for buying photos, frames, albums. You may want a hutch to display your memories.
There are necklaces/charms that can be made. I think it would be wonderful to have the support from friends and family. It may seem odd to them at first, but Adan's life is still worth celebrating, no matter what.

[Darby]

Marlina,

I admire you for carrying your son to term. I also made the decision to carry my daughter to term. I love the idea of the pregnancy celebration, and Madge has some very neat ideas for that. Even asking for a small donation, anything that will honor Adan's life would be perfect. When are you due?
Please know we are all here for you. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[Mallorie's Mom]

Love the idea of a pregnancy celebration!

[Dawn R]

Marlina,

I was faced with the same decision last year. My son Khayri Elijah was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. I carried to term. Unfortunately Khayri didn't make it past 36 weeks. I never regretted my decision.

You are giving your precious lil Aden Julian a chance. It's an extremely tough decision but I think it's selfless and the best decision. Enjoy and celebrate every moment of your pregnancy. Embrace the moment and lil Aden for the miracle he is. My prayers are with you and I commend and applaud you.

You've come to the right place. Everyone here are truely awesome and so supportive.

Peace and Grace

[JenniferBrown]

Hey everyone I was wondering did anyone have a pregnancy shower of some sort? I am having what I call a pregnancy celebration with family and close friends. (only people that know what is going on with Adan) so many family and friends want to show their support so I thought it would be a great idea. Just food and conversation. I don't really want to do the regular shower games any ideas of what else I can do? I had a gift made to pass out and it is so cute. It is a heart shaped mint case with a heart sticker on it thats says
"It's a Boy!"
Adan Julian
Due April 28, 2010

One of my NILMDTS families that I was honored to be there for their son's birth had a 'blessings for Gabriel' (shower, I guess) honoring him. The gifts they received were things like "huge candle with his ultrasound pic on it", certain hats and blankets and things for Mom, for afterwards. She got mementos for his stuff and everyone prayed for the family and on her belly. I wasn't able to attend that but she told me it was wonderful!

I guess you could say it gave her something to 'do' while she waited. She found some ideas on what to do with a few of the things she received.... one was that she received 2 blankets that were identical and so she made ornaments in the shape of hearts (sewn ornaments) and shared them (only cutting them out of one blanket and keeping the other for themselves) with people that their little boy touched... She sent me one and I bawled as I opened it. It was so simple but oh so touching.

Just ideas for you.

I'm sorry to hear of your son's diagnosis but please get in touch with a photographer in your area before hand. It's always nice (I'm saying this as a parent of Angels and as a NILMDTS photog) to know the person who will be helping make beautiful portraits of your special time with your son in advance.

((Hugs))

[Marlina]

Hi everyone. My pregnancy celebration is this Saturday. Thanks for the great ideas! My due date is coming up as well April 28th. Starting to feel more emotional as if I will cry at anything and its harder to talk to people now about what is about to happen. I also did a maternity photo shoot. Simone Bonde (photographer) was great! She told me she was inspired to help women in our situation. Thanks NILMDTS photographers you are doing wonderful things.

[cartersmomanddad]

So proud of you!

[Mackenzie's Mommy]

Marlina, know we are here for you with whatever you need. I'm not sure if Stephanie Stewart has seen this post yet but she created a website My Very Own Angel for moms carrying to term.

Sending lots of love!

[neci23]

Marlina,

I am so sorry for the diagnosis, although I did not go through the same thing my son passed away in the womb. I am so thankful that I was able to spend time with him after delivering him. I applaud you for carrying your baby to term despite the diagnosis, you are very strong. I hope that your time with your baby is very special. You will be my thoughts.

Jennice