National Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness

[Cheryl Haggard]

Proclamation 5890 -- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988

October 25, 1988

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and work to prevent causes of these problems.
Health care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of poignance to the grief of parents who have lost infants. More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal constructively with loss.

Compassionate Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we should offer them our cooperation and support as well.

The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October 1988 as ``Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month'' and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.

Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.

In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirteenth.

Ronald Reagan

[Filed with the Office of the Federal Register, 11:13 a.m., October 26, 1988]

[Cheryl Haggard]

I had originally wanted to send out little cards on Maddux's birthday as a reminder, but wasn't sure of the type of response I would get.
I thought it would be a great idea to send these out during this Awareness Month.
On my card, I will be asking my friends and family to donate to the organization of my choice (duh!-wonder which one...) in the honor and memory of Maddux. Parents will have the choice of displaying an image on their card, or their baby's hand print or foot print. Parents will also have the choice of adding their own wording.
I also find it very important that parents be able to choose the charity of their choice that they are asking friends and family to donate to.
There are so many wonderful organizations out there that support pregnancy and infant loss awareness.

Below is one sample that Tasha from Simply-Yours-Creations (http://www.simply-yours-creations.com/store/Default.asp)has put together for us. (I think these colors are very neutral and can be used for either a boy or a girl.)


__________________________________________________ ____

These double-sided photo cards are professionally printed on high
quality cardstock and are available in either 4x5.5 or 5x7 sizes.

Pricing is per package of 22 cards and includes envelopes. In addition,
you can upgrade from the standard finish to a beautiful linen finish for
only an additional $4.99 per package.

Tasha will completely customize both sides of your card and email you
proofs for final approval. Simply submit your text information and high quality original photo to:
photos@simply-yours-creations.com along with any additional requests.

Please note that Tasha is unable to submit the cards to the printer
until 9/6/06. After that time, there will be no delay in printing.
Cards will ship between 4-6 business days of final e-proof approval
(after 9/6/06).

Pricing is as follows per package of 22:

Standard 4x5.5 Photo Cards = $31.99
Deluxe 5x7 Photo Cards = $36.50
Linen finish add $4.99 per package.

3x5.5 Donation Cards/Envelopes = $11.00
Optional Charity Address Printing on Envelopes: $3.50

Shipping:

$4.05 for 1 pack
$6.50 for 2 packs
$8.00 for 3+ packs.

[Jessi Hill]

These are VERY nice.... I like the idea, and ,may do this myself. I am also offering discounted etchings on black headstones at the monument company I am etching for. They do not do many infant markers, but I still want Infant loss awareness to be acknowledged this year. Honestly they had no idea and it is their job to service bereaved parents?!?!?

[Cheryl Haggard]

Here is a version that Tasha from Simply-Yours-Creations (http://www.simply-yours-creations.com/store/Default.asp)has designed for a baby boy:
(She used an actual scan of Maddux's footprint...)
((We will post samples for a girl very soon...Thanks for being patient.))

__________________________________________________ ____

The pricing is as follows per 22 pack:
Standard 4x5.5 Photo Cards = $31.99 **TOP IMAGE SAMPLES
Deluxe 5x7 Photo Cards = $36.50 **BOTTOM IMAGE SAMPLES
Linen Finish Upgrade= $4.99

3x5.5 Donation Cards/Envelopes = $11.00
Optional Charity Address Printing on Envelopes: $3.50

Tasha will completely customize both sides of your card and email you
proofs for final approval. Simply submit your text information and high quality original photo to:
photos@simply-yours-creations.com along with any additional requests.

[Cheryl Haggard]

One more. The top card is the one that I have chosen to use...Tasha was able to color Maddux's blanky in a blue color.
The samples below are examples of what can be done with just a hand or foot print. Still very beautiful...

[Karla]

Dear Cheryl,
Those are so touching. I just wish that our "friends and relatives" would be more receptive to our gestures, and not dismiss them as just ways us grieving parents use to channel our emotions. I have seen close relatives casually toss Cydney Paige's pictures aside, put them in a cluttered draw and that hurts me so much. I wish that I could go around and collect them all back. I would love to do something similar for her memorial, but I am not too sure that I would get a favourable response. I do not even think that pregnancy loss awareness is acknowledged here. My idea for Cydney's service is to use the drawing from her headstone which I am getting done(another story) on either a call card size or bookmark and place in an organza bag which I can do for myself and give to all who attend. The artwork of her headstone will have Jesus holding her in his arms in a heavenly garden which has tiger lily flowers off course and butterflies fluttering around. The wording will be "Our beautiful flower, lent not given. To bud on earth and bloom in heaven" and "A moment in our arms, a lifetime in our hearts.....Daddy, Mummy and Willie." I also thought of putting on the back of the card "Dear God, we did not get to hold her in our arms and tell her about you, so would you please hold her in your arms and tell her about us and how much we love her"
I do wish that people who have not lost a child should try to be more understanding. Short of actually telling them what they should say to us, I do not know what else to do. I have reached the point where I simply avoid everyone, I maybe among many but I can hardly notice their presence, it's as if there is an enclosure surrounding me.
I ask myself many times if I had not lost a child and I were to be given a card like Maddux's would I be moved by it, would I feel for you and get that great urge to go out and do the good that you asked for? I do not want to pat my own shoulders, but the beauty ond poignant emotions that the card carries with it, I am certain that I would be eager to do this. I think that I will make the effort to do something like this here. I will discuss with my husband and son what we should contribute to in memory of Cydney Paige and ask our guests to make whatever contribution they can afford. After all I'll never know if I do not try, and even if they were not responsive I would know in my heart that I did something good.
God bless you and your family, Cheryl Haggard.
I do admire your strength and courage,
Karla

[Cheryl Haggard]

Karla,
Do not worry what others think.
I am also thinking of placing an advertisement in our local paper "In Memory of..." in October. This awareness needs to get out. I personally don't care if others think I am just inviting pain into my life. I already have pain, I am just learning how to live with it for the rest of my life.
You only need to worry about you and your immediate family. What is best for you all. That's it. I have said this before, and we all personally know this to be true, Until you have personally experienced the death of a child, you just don't get it...You don't understand.
Karla, maybe you should move to Colorado. Lord knows we could use somebody like you around here...:p

[Tasha Nicholls]

Karla,

I have been a "lurker" here on the site for a couple of months... but your post moved me to "come out of the closet".

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain that you are going through at this time. I cannot even begin to imagine the added sorrow from the casual attitudes of family members. I think that is why pregnancy and infant loss awareness is so important... to help others have more compassion and understanding towards those who are suffering through the loss of a child.

I want you to know that although I have never lost a child myself, I have been deeply touched by NILMDTS and the members here. I got involved with NILMDTS because I was so inspired by Cheryl's courage to share her grief and pain with the world and I think portraiture is such a wonderful and healing service to provide families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss. In addition, it has the added "benefit" of helping those of us who have not gone through infant loss to have a greater understanding of the agony that you are going through, and the recognition that the life of your baby deserves... no matter how short. I think the visual images create a substantial impact that words cannot express. I honestly can't imagine anyone that visits this site not being deeply touched.

Which brings me to my main point... perhaps, your family/friends need a little "nudge" to help increase their empathy for your loss of sweet little Cydney. Let them know about NILMDTS and how it has helped you and what a wonderful organization it is. Encourage them to visit the site. Yes, I'm sure some of them won't because they are afraid it will be too sad or upsetting, but others will... and they will be changed forever. It may help some of them down the road as they encounter other family and friends that are experiencing the grief and pain of pregnancy or infant loss.

I thought Cheryl’s idea for sending out cards in October for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month was a great idea and created the cards above at her request. If you wanted to make your own cards, you could even create a simple card with printed vellum in memory of Cydney telling others about Awareness Month and NILMDTS… encouraging family and friends to learn more about pregnancy and infant loss.

I think your remembrance ideas for Cydney’s service are beautiful. I’m sure they will be a lovely tribute for your precious little angel. I saw Cydney's photo in the Babies forum and she is absolutely beautiful.... again, I am so sorry for your loss.


Sincerely,
Tasha Nicholls

[Karla]

Tasha,

Thank you so very much for your encouraging words. Since reading Cheryl's post, I have thought a lot about this. First, you should know that I am probably the only member of NILMDTS that belongs to outside the USA and Canada....... I live in the Caribbean, Trinidad to be exact. Briefly, while we maybe advanced as far as computer technology(internet), we are lacking in many other important areas. Health care one of the major areas, and child loss is hardly anyone else's business but the family's. We do have advocates, but our politics make getting any where very discouraging. But I have decided that I can start with my circle, as you said some will come out changed forever. My dear Friend, who did Cydney Piage's service echoed your sentiments. He urged everyone not to let her coming to us be in vain, that we should all leave changed, that her life should make a difference for us. And thankfully, I have seen it happen in some, though not enough. So like you said, I should do this, if a few more come out changed, then the number would have grown.

I have given a lot of thought, and after having viewed the poignant video done by Kent for the Poteet family, I am thinking of doing a small clip of our baby and the time we spent with her to show at the beginning of her memorial service. My only fear is that some may not have the strength and courage to take it all in and understand and appreciate what she means to us, what she brought to us, and that doing it is not a way of punishing ourselves or a channel for our emotions, or even to make them sad. I know now what not to say and what not to say, I know now that sometimes all that we can do is to hold the hands of the one who is hurting. I feel the warmth of your words envelope me, even though we are thousands of miles apart, cannot put a face to each other and communicating via the net! Can you imagine how I would feel if those close to me would reach out to me like you guys did? Can you imagine if on the 7th Nov, someone close to me called me to say that they know that Cydney Paige would have been 10 months and that she would have been beautiful and a joy to behold? The only one who has empathised with me is my friend whose husband died tragically 3 years ago.

I am going to take your advice and Cheryl's, I have discussed with my husband and son about a contribution to a worthy cause, (sorry Cheryl I decided to leave it in Trinidad, I know you will understand lol) and about the video clip,(Kirk are you reading this?), choice of music and they are backing me, so we will see how it goes. Perhaps, later on I maybe able to have other bereaved parents included in her memorial service and perhaps have some words of comfort printed and given to them. I did see those wrist bands on Compassionate friends web site and thought they would be a good thing to give, but I have to consider costs and my dollar value is 6 time lower that yours!!! so I would have to find something else. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Tasha, thank you so much. Your words have encouraged me very much and I am happy that I got you to "come out of the closet". At the time of your writing, you may not have thought that your words would have helped so much, but it has, and I want to tell you to continue doing this and to stay out of the closet, so you could warm many other hearts like mine!

love,
Karla

[Cheryl Haggard]

Here are the girl sample announcements. Thank you Karla for letting us use Cydney's image. She is beautiful...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

[Karla]

We are so honored to have our daughter's image used on Tasha's beautiful creation. I am so touched, I do not have words to say here except "thank you,". They are beautiful and so meaningful.

Thanks again,
Winston, Karla and Willie Medford.

[Tasha Nicholls]

Karla,

Thank you for letting me use Cydney's photo and for the wonderful compliments... it's the least I can do.

I saw the new picture you posted in the other thread. Hopefully I won't say something the wrong way, but my heart broke for you as I looked at her seemingly healthy little body... knowing that her little heart just couldn't keep up. I cannot imagine the depth of your loss, but am sharing in it the best way I know how.

Cydney's such a precious little angel... thank you, again, for sharing her with us.


Tasha

[Karla]

Tasha,
You are most welcome. These are the ways that I get comfort. I know whenever I get myself to face reality which is cold and harsh, Cydney Piage is not here and will never be physically. But I prefer to go back to that place that warms my heart and forget about the cold harsh truth. Each and everyone's kind words, the beautiful comments about Cydney Paige makes my heart feel good.
My precious child, as you said she looked so healthy on the outside, how could it have been so?
Thanks again for using her image in your lovely designs!
The beautiful picture was done by Kirk!!!!!:)
Thank You kirk!!!

Karla

[Cheryl Haggard]

These are Karla's final choice:
Thanks for letting us share these.
(Yes-We know that Organization is spelt wrong on the back of this card, but this is the way it is spelt in Trinidad...) So we were told...

[Tasha Nicholls]

Here are the cards I created for Sherry Petri. Jonathan's birthday was October 3.

Sherry posted Jonathan's website in the "My Story" folder, but here it is again. www.jonathanpetri.last-memories.com (http://www.jonathanpetri.last-memories.com/)

[Tasha Nicholls]

Also, we ended up changing Cydney Paige's. Here was the final result that we put together for Cydney's memorial service. (Again, yes we know "organization" is spelled differently... that's how they spell it in Trinidad :))

P.S. Please keep Karla and family in your thoughts and prayers... they are preparing for Cydney's memorial for her first birthday and it's a really tough time.

[Sandy "Sam" Puc']

These really are special. I am sure your families will all cherish these wonderful reminders of a tiny little person that made a huge impact on thier hearts.
Thank you for sharing them.
Hugs,
Sam

[Sherry Petri]

I wanted to share something with those of you who may have pictures of your little ones that were not taken by a professional, before NILMDTS existed. I discovered this service and what they did for me, for my son's pictures, was amazing. The website is babyangelpics.com. The owner of this company that restores photos has created a program in which they will do any touch ups possible to 2 photos of baby's who are stillborn free of charge. For me, they removed the harshness of death from the photos and left the precious vision of what my son looked like just a few days prior. When I sent my photo and wish list, I really didnt think they could do what I was asking. It was a heartwarming surprise to see what can be done. I hope this may help someone in preserving memories of your baby.

[Cheryl Haggard]

I have started working on my cards for 2007...I like to mail these out in September asking for a donation to my favorite charity in the honor of Maddux. This year, I am taking a slightly different approach. Can't wait to share.
I will post soon.

[Julie*B]

Cheryl, Tasha and All,

Just wanted to let you know that I really liked your idea for a One Year Rememberance Letter asking for donations to NILMDTS. I was really struggling with what do to for our daughter Emma's first birthday (which would have been this September 19th) and then I saw this post. We really loved your ideas and are sending out our version of the same thing to all of our family and friends. Hopefully, we'll get a good response and at least some donations will be sent your way!

Cheryl,
Also wanted to say that I am looking forward to see what you come up with for this year.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Here they are! Tasha did a beautiful job with these. Simply-Yours-Creations (http://www.simply-yours-creations.com/store/Default.asp)
Here is the front and back
then below is the inside. So it is a 5x7 fold over card. 4 sides.
Then the donation envelope...

[Jessi Hill]

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! I love the letter being from Maddux... very well thought out. Wonderful work between two wonderful people and a beautiful angel who has touched so many lives!

[Karla]

Simply beautiful by two simply beautiful people!!! The letter is so touching, I can't imagine anyone not being encouraged to give after reading.

Cheryl, I never knew that it was millions of people, why? Why is there such a high infant mortality rate? I know my pain and I know how horribly wrong life is for me after my loss, I hate to think that so many more parents have to live life this way.

I hope that many more would be encouraged to do what you have done to raise such awareness and perhaps to give generously towards research in whichever area that can reduce the figures you have quoted.

I am dreading the fact that two years is approaching for Cydney Paige. We do not have any such month here in Trinidad, but I would like to do something meaningful again this year where someone or some org would benefit. Ideas would be most welcome.

Tasha, you are a great, we do have to correspond about my project again soon.

Love to you both lovely ladies,
Karla

[Julie*B]

That is amazing - I love the idea of the request coming from the child, especially how it says they will never have to buy cookies, gifts, etc. That was exactly what was going through my head when I just recently sent out our letter (modeled after your 2006 example) in honor of what would be Emma's 1st birthday (Sept. 19th). I figured all these people would normally be spending money for her birthday, so why not give it to NILMDTS instead! Anyway, I hope the organization will at least receive a few donations in her honor.

Thanks for inspiring, once again, Cheryl and Tasha!

[Kerry]

Hi I thought I would mention someone gave me a nice gift for my daughter's anniversary. My Mom and Dad bought a star in the night sky after Mallory. It was from Space Services Incorporated. It was great for the kids too. Came with Star Certificate a Astronomical star chart to find the location and Planisphere star finder to find in the night sky the constellation where your star is located. It meant alot to me to be having my other daughter's birthday party which was her twin and someone thought of my baby girl at her party. I cried but they were happy tears!
Kerry
Mother of Olivia,Sarah and Lane and Heavenly Angel Mallory

[Estrella]

I wanted to share a cute tag, a friend on myspace, Angel Liam's mommy, made this for me!!!

2971

[Kerry]

That is beautiful can you get them in pins for clothing or necklace? I like the idea.

Kerry
Mother of Olivia,Sarah and Lane and Heavenly Angel Mallory

[Tricia Hackney]

I would be honored to receive a card from any family in rememberance of their sweet babes.

[Lindzy Foster]

wow those are so beautiful Cheryl! awesome job Tasha!

[Lyssa Sauer]

I am wanting to do cards like these for Paytons 1 yr birth so that instead of people buying something or truly not knowing what to give I would rather them give to this wonderful organization.

[linda]

I had Tasha Nicholls make note cards for me in honor of this month. I want to use them for families I know who have lost a child to just send a note. I will also use them for gift baskets for the hospital.

[Amy W.]

Looks like its been a long time since all these were posted but I just wanted to say that I think they are so beautiful!!! Cheryl I LOVE the letter being from Maddux. How precious.

[Krista]

WOW!! SO beautiful!! I love that the letter is from Maddux...very touching. Thank you for sharing all of the beautiful memorial cards with us.

I am trying to decide on Aedan's memorial cards, as his one year angelversary is quickly approaching. I love the idea of a donation in his memory. I would love to have NILMDTS as my charity.

Question: Can donations from outside of the United States receive charitable tax receipts?

[Kelly Gerken]

Just wanted to invite families to join us in honoring our babies in heaven this October 15, 2011. We are hosting a special Remembrance Day post on the Sufficient Grace Blog here:
http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com/2011/10/remember-with-us-october-15th-and-my.html

If you would like to include your child's name on our Remembrance Page, please leave a comment on that post. We will be praying for the families on our Remembrance page and lighting candles on that special day. There is also an opportunity to win a $50 gift certificate to My Forever Child on our site.

Blessings to all...