Did you have this special item?

[unique1one]

I was wondering something. What special item did you receive, or what special items did you wish you could have had in the days following your loss? It can be ANYTHING.

[mommy of three angels]

I wish I could of had the paper that came out of the machine that monterd my contractions!

[oudanae]

One thing I can think of right now...and it's going to sound weird...is I wish I would have asked my nurse if I could have kept a couple of my staples from my c-section after she removed them. I'm gathering all the cards and pictures for Bailey's scrapbook, and looking back I wish I had just one or 2 of those to put in there also.

I'll think of something else here in a little bit that doesn't seem quite so odd...

Ashley - what is your special item?

[JillinGA]

I Have: all of Chelsea's things from the hospital - blanket, hair bow, hat, outfit. I kept her Pooh Bear, but the other Pooh friends are with her.
I just couldn't part with Pooh because he was with her in the hospital.

I wish I had: Her! I miss her so much.

[unique1one]

One thing that I didn't get, that I would have loved to have was handprints or a hand mold. I have his footprints, but I didn't get any hand. I don't remember much from when he was born because I was coming out of anesthesia, and it's hard for me to imagine how small his hands were.

The other thing that I have lost many nights to, is his eyes. Because he was born sleeping, I never got to see his eyes. I don't want to imagine which color they might have been, I want to know what color they were, and it still plagues me.

[mommy of three angels]

That has plagued me as well with the loss of Angel and Peyton. My son was thee only one I got to see the color of his eyes....

[Sylvanfire]

Aside from Cole himself,... I wish I had the little bracelet they had on his arm that matched mine. I completely forgot to ask for it. They gave me the blanket and foot molds and got me beautiful little hand and footprints (which I now have tattoo'd on me forever). But I didn't think at all to take the wrist id band.

[Joshua'sMommy]

mine is not a item, but I wish I would have taken him out of his blanket and actually looked at him (find a birthmark) while he was in my hands and I also wish I would have held him against my chest without any fabric in the way. But I was so afraid to move him he was so small and fragile.

[oudanae]

I too wish I had a hand mold...My mom just gave me mine that I made back in pre-school and I almost burst into tears, because I will never have a hand mold from Bailey.

[jrbrimley]

Of course we have tons of pictures, but I wish I would have take video of her. It would be so nice to see her on a video with her sister or a feeding or something.

The nurses made footprints of her feet and put them on a sweet little card.

[SusanH]

As Joshua's mommy said, I wish I would have taken him out of his blanket and really looked him over, all over, look at his toes, fingers, back, ears, everything. My husband and daughter bathed him when I was out of the room and I only held him all cozy and clean in his winnie the pooh jammies and stared at his face and smelled his hair. But I have no idea if he even had a birthmark and I so wish I knew.

[npasley]

I also wish that I would have unwrapped Kayden from his blankets so i could just hold him and hold him against my chest, I hold my niece against my chest all the time and I really wish thats what I would of done with Kayden. And to just see him what he looked like how long his legs were but he was born so early I was a bit nervous to do anything to him that and in shock..

[Abigailsmommy]

that is my wish too....I wish I would have looked her over, I did not even change a diaper or take her little dress off.I would have memorized every little inch of Abbi..... I think we all were just in so much shock when we had our angels that we did not think of things like this until after the fact :(

[mommy of three angels]

Thats perfectly said

[Kellie]

I have many beautiful pictures of my daughter, but not one of my daughter with my son. I wish I had a picture of him looking at her. I think he would have cherrished it one day later on when he was older. As it is now, all the pictures he sees of her, he thinks is him.
I also wished I bathed her myself but I was in too much pain and nor did I think about it. This is a question I think I could go on and on about.

[BrooklynsMommy]

I wish I would have asked to have her umbilical cord clamp. That may sound strange but anything that touched her makes me feel close to her.

[AshleyH]

I wish that I had many things. I left the hospital with hand/foot prints. The banket and knitted hat they had on him(james) and a little stained glass heart. I wish that I had a hospital braclet(there was never one put one me) and the braclet from James. I wished that I had taken a pic of the 2 of us and then the 3 of us as a family.But I was too upset and didn't want to be photographed. The last things I wish is that I would have spent more time with him. They had to take him after a few hrs b/c they had to send him to a different hospital of the autopsy and pathology tests. Hindsight is a very powerful thing.

[mommy of three angels]

Ashley
I am terribly sorry to hear that you couldnt spend as much time with James as you wanted! It shouldn't be there decision but yours!

[JillinGA]

At that present time, we are not thinking straight. We are so consumed with the devistation of losing our sweet little one(s).

As an Angel Momma, in the early months of my grief, I attended nurses inservice as a voice for others who will unfortunately be going thru this.
They asked for our input on our personal experience, what was done, not done, and what should be done.

The hospital staff is supposed to be trained to offer all these things ... bath, lotion, diaper, dress, keep our Angels with us for as long as we want.
Even if they have to give the parents a reality check (in a nice way) and make them realize that the present is the only time they have to do any it. Encourage the parents may be the proper way to put it.

Unfortunately, there are times that the staff overlooks these things that are so important to us later on.

Maybe we all should, somehow...someway, educate all hospitals ... dr's and staff ... on how things should be handled.
We as Angel parents know 1st hand.

I am so thankful that I got to hold Chelsea during her last few minutes of life, as she grew her wings. BUT, there are so many things I missed out on because the nurse thought she knew what was best for me in my condition. She never offered anything! I talked to / yelled at her about it a few weeks later.
To this day, this is still a hot topic for me ... not getting to do anything with or for my Chelsea.

17 years is just around the corner and PMS is kicking in too. My emotions are on my sleeve.
So, I'll get off my box now and cherish my short time with her.

[Diane73]

I wish I had her foot print, i never thought of that at the hospital, i had too many things to think about in soooooo little time.. yes i have tons of pictures but i would've loved to have her tiny foot print :o(

[Madge]

Even though I was "fortunate" to know beforehand that time was short, I felt rushed at the end. After he had passed we did the footprints and everything, but after we were done I felt like I had to give him up.

I wish I had held him all night. I wish I had time, truly alone with him, and not with the nurse in the room all the time at the end. I never changed his diaper....

I was exhausted and not thinking straight--I agree that the "professionals" should be able to lead and guide in these situations. But they do have to be educated. The nurse I had in the evening was good in one respect, but not good at all in another.

We have to give ourselves grace...lots of it. We did the best we could considering the circumstances. We can help others, though-that is the good part that comes out of this.

[isaacnhannahsmama]

Wow, this hurts to think about. There's just so much. I wish I had my own pics of Isaac, not the hospitals pic. They took one of him & it really hurts me to look at it because it's not "my memory" of him, it's their impression.
Does that make sense?
And my Hannah girl, I really wish I had pics/mold of her hands & feet. Crying just thinkin bout it. Really miss those wee little hands & perfect little feet.
And last thing, I WISH I HELD THEM ALL NIGHT.
I had absolutely no idea I could do that & I agree as well that staff should be trained in walking parents through this.

[tisha]

I just had this conversation with my husband lastnight, i was telling him that it sucks because i was soo foggy and in such shock or a daze or something that i didnt get to hold her skin to skin, i didnt get hand prints, soo much didnt get to do and didnt think about till after. i wish that i wasnt in surgery when she was alive for those 27 minutes, so i could have gotten to hold her while she was alive.