The love of a Grandfather~

[Tammy]

My husband's grandfather passed away Monday, 9/18 his funeral is today 9/22 I am very close to my husbands grandparents since mine live so far away. Grandpa was 91, had a good happy life and was ready to return "home".
My son Rorey (bless his little heart) always has a profound explanation to situations like these. He told me, "Mom, we don't need to be sad because great-grandpa is in heaven talking with all his friends, and playing cards with all his card buddies. And grandpa can hold Baby Chase now, and play with him."
That child amazes me to no end.
So yesterday, we were at the funeral home for visitation (same one we had Chase's service) A few people asked me if it was difficult for me to be there.... and yes, it was difficult. It brought back all the memories from a year ago. But the funeral director remembered Chase.
I'm glad to say, Chase was remembered and was mentioned in grandpa's obituary. I wasn't sure at first if he would be, but I'm glad he was. I'm glad he wasn't forgotten~ his picture was displayed with all the other great-grand children. I know if we would not have had the professional pictures of Chase, he probably would not have been included~
There is a sadness of grandpa's passing, but it is so different than the sadness I felt a year ago. The sadness I experienced a year ago was so intense, and for a while it consumed me. I think all of us who have lost a baby or child are in that stage for a period of time. The known fact that life has to move forward even if we don't want it to can be very bitter at times.
It warms my heart to know Chase has met his great-grandpa, and they are together watching over the rest of our family. Grandpa has many stories to tell Chase, and while grandpa was here, I prayed he would give my son a big hug and kiss from us. I know he did. Grandpa loved all his grandchildren and great-grand children very much.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Tammy-I can actually picture "grandpa" reaching down and giving Chase big kisses...
Thank you for sharing this with us, and know that my heart and prayers are with you, your husband and his family.

[Tammy]

Thank you Cheryl.
Grandpa's service was beautiful. Many of our relatives were able to see Chase's memorial stone for the first time while at the cemetery. Quite emotional to say the least.
It's seeing the memorial stones of those little ones that really tug at the heart strings.

[Tammy]

One other thing I would like to mention. I talked with a gentleman at the funeral who I knew lost his son two weeks after Chase. His son was older, in his 20's I believe. I approached him, shook his hand and took a few moments to ask how he and his family were doing, expressed my sincere condolences and told him I was thinking of him and his family.
He said, "You know, you are the first person in a long time who has even mentioned or asked about or our son. That means so much. Thank you. People just don't ask, they must just assume we 'get over it', or they don't want to bring it up." I told him I know you think about your son everyday, don't you? He said yes, he does. I could see tears in his eyes at that moment. He told me that week he lost his son was the most difficult and heartbreaking time of his life. He said, "I know you understand." I told him I understood, and I told him for me, some days were still tough. He said "yeah, for us too. Especially the holidays, and the times during the year when we do our family things."

As it has been mentioned before, to a grieving parent experiencing the death of our own child at any age is one of the most difficult and emotional things we have to endure. Parents are supposed to precede their child (children) in death, not the other way around. Knowing whether or not to ask a parent about their child is no easy task for anyone. It was clear to me in this case, it was a welcomed question for this father. We want our child to be remembered. I plan on following up with this family with a letter or an email. Even though our circumstances are different, we share common questions, "Why?" and "How could this happen?"

People should not be afraid to ask a bereaved parent questions about their child. By asking those questions, you help in their healing. I can understand why there is this fear; it hurts us to witness another's hurt. But avoiding the topic does not help either.