..on surviving

[Deb Stoner]

Life has changed completely, but somehow it goes on.
We are surviving. We don’t understand, but we plod along
And living gets a little easier each day. God has not
Abandoned us; there are pockets of hope and moments of
Happiness every now and then. Perhaps they will become
More frequent.

p. 218 An Empty Cradle A Full Heart: Reflections for mothers and fathers after miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death; by Christine O’Keeffe Lafser 1998 Loyola Press Chicago

[Tammy]

9/29/06
Thank you for sharing this Deb. What an inspirational piece~ I just came across this post, couldn't have come at a better time, as I find myself feeling a little blah... especially today for some reason. I'm not sure what it is... I'm just tired; emotionally and physically tired. I don't like feeling this way, but I can't shake it.

[linda]

I feel the same way Tammy! Even though it was posted months ago. Sometimes I just read threads to get through the day to day sadness. I got through the Holidays mostly good with a few jets to our room to not lose it in front of everyone. We were at my brother and sister in law's. I met a girl today first thing in the morning at work who had twins at 24 weeks. Her daughter survived and her son Jared passed away the next day. She was so kind and I really enjoyed our talk but I was just emotionally drained the rest of the day. I also have few regrets and one is that we had Ethan cremated and didn't have a memorial service. We also didn't receive his ashes. We didn't know what to do. She shared her having her memorial service and her urn with me. At the time I took it all in and tried to remind myself that you just don't know what to do but now it's got me very very sad!! Why didn't we do that, why do I not have his ashes? Awwhhhh....this is an awful feeling -

Thanks Deb again~ Day to day; God has not abandoned me!! RIGHT! I've got my pictures and I've got my CD.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Linda,

I too, have regrets. Things I wish I would have done...
I wish I would have given Maddux his last bath...
I wish I would have had his portrait taken with his brother and sisters.
I wish I would have had that 'professional' family portrait taken...
I wish I would have known that I could have taken him 'home' for just a short while...
(I bet you alot of parents don't know that most hospitals will allow you to take your child home, for a short period of time.)
One thing I always loved doing with my babies, was putting them in the tub with me. Having them laying on my chest, in the warm water...
I wish I would have had that time with Maddux also...In the privacy of my own home.

So here we are, and what can we do?
Educate others...
Let them know these things...So they don't share our regrets...

Hugs go out to all of you...
Cheryl

[Rayna']

I didn't know they would let you take the baby home for a little bit...that's interesting.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Some, not all. But it is worth finding out.