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Brooke
10-30-2006, 04:15 PM
Emma's short life story begins in April 2006. My husband, Kirk, and I found out that we were pregnant with our third child on June 22,2006. At that time I was already 8 1/2 weeks pregnant with Emma. Emma was scheduled to join our family on January 25, 2007 via a scheduled C-section. She was a surprise gift given to us at the time considering our youngest son was only 13 months old. We were quite taken by surprise, but happy that we would be having our three children that we had always talked about having.

I started immediately planning for our newest addition to the Van Someren family. I started to re-read all my pregnancy books in preparation for having yet another baby. I started to talk to our oldest son Carter who was 3 1/2 at the time about his new little brother or sister. He was so excited to have another baby to help mommy and daddy with. Ethan being only 13 months at the time didn't understand what was about to change our family forever. I would later find out that I'm glad I would only have one child to explain why their sister was not with us at the time. Ethan will later find out about his sister Emma that never got to live here on earth with her family. We traded our car in to upgrade to a mini van. We switched Carter from a single bed to bunk beds for him and Ethan to share in what was Carter's room, but would now be shared by his younger brother Ethan. Little did we know at that time how much our life was going to change forever.

Everything was going fine in the pregnancy. No morning sickness, once again I lucked out. No spotting those first three months as I did have with Ethan's pregnancy. Overall, I had been feeling quite well except being exhausted from being a pregnant mom with two young children to care for,working full time, and being a wife. I felt little Emma move when I should have and the changes that came with the advancing pregnancy were all normal and on schedule. Everything was great until my routine scheduled ultra sound scheduled for Friday, September 15th, 2006. That day we were all very excited because this pregnancy we had decided that we wanted to know the gender of the baby to know what to prepare for. I told my husband that the pregnancy was such a surprise that I didn't need the surprise at the end, I wanted to know if I was finally going to get my daughter. We had the boys with us at the ultra sound because I wanted them involved as much as possible. Everything was going fine during the ultra sound and the boys had us somewhat preoccupied so we didn't know that something was wrong with our baby until I heard the ultra sound technician ask, "When do you have you next O.B appointment?" I replied, "A month from now." The ultra sound technician replied, "You need to come in on Monday and talk to your doctor about the ultra sound." My mind went wild, I had never been told this during my previous ultra sounds with either of my boys!!! "What is wrong?", I asked. She couldn't say, it needed to come from my doctor after a radiologist read the findings from the ultra sound and reported the findings back to him. So we went home heavy hearted and worried sick only to have to wait 12 hours to be told what they had seen in the ultra sound.

Saturday September 16, 2006 our doctor told us about the future of our baby. Emma had a cyst growing off the back of her little head and neck and also some fluid on the brain. After a further level two ultra sound was preformed on September 19th, 2006 at MN Perinatal Specialist we where given the final diagnosis of our daughter's future, there would be no future for her. What they had seen was fatal. She was diagnosed with what is called Fetal Hydrops with Cystic Hygroma. Fetal Hydrops is when the Lymphatic system was formed incorrectly after conception and the lymph fluid builds up and fills around all the organs in the body. Cystic Hygroma is when there is a fluid filled cyst located off of the back of the baby's neck and head. Babies who are given this diagnosis never make it past 28 weeks gestation. This statement was made by the perinatal specialists, who has seen this far to often in the past.

From that moment on we decided to enjoy each and every last moment of the pregnancy with Emma as long as we had time with her. Because of all the fluid in her little body, they were unable to tell us the gender of our baby via ultra sound, so we chose to have an Amniocentesis done. The Amniocentesis would provide the gender of our baby and also hopefully an answer as to whether this was a chromosome defect or a genetic defect. So on Friday, September 29th, 2006 we got a call from the genetic counselor at MN Perinatal Specialst telling us the results of the Amniocentensis. You're having a baby girl with Turner's Syndrome. Yes, finally my baby girl, but by that point it didn't matter the gender anymore, I just wanted a healthy baby that would live a long, happy, healthy life. I was also glad that my husband was able to produce a female child for me. Before Emma, I had thought for sure that I would only have boys, given my husband had already produced two. Anyway, so our baby had yet another abnormality. Turner's Syndrome is when the female baby is missing the second "X" sex chromosome for some unexplainable reason. This is a chromosome defect. Typically these female babies live, but with the complications of Fetal Hydrops our daughter would not. After that call, we started to pre-plan her funeral. Instead of looking to the future for a baptism for her, we would start to prepare for her death. This time was especially hard waiting for Emma to live or pass in the womb.

Fortunately during this brief 3 1/2 week waiting period I was able to start to get comfort from a mother who had lost a baby boy named Isaiah just 3 1/2 months prior to our loss. She contacted me, which was very courageous and strong on her part. It was unfortunate that we would create this friendship through loosing our children only months apart and we live only miles away from each other. She told me immediately about Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and about Heather Lombardo the wonderful photographer that helped them capture Isaiah's short life here on earth. So I contacted Heather on Monday, October 2, 2006 and we set up a family pregnancy photo shoot for Friday, October 6, 2006 at her home. The shoot went really well and during the session my husband and I actually forgot the real reason that we where there. We were just having a good time and enjoying the moment with our baby girl and our two boys. I am forever grateful for Heather offering to do the photo shoot for us and inviting us into her life and home. That is all we have of our dear little daughter Emma and it is very special for us to have been given that gift.

Prior to the photo shoot we had just been to MN Perinatal Specialist for another level two ultra sound and they confirmed that there was indeed more fluid building up in Emma's little body. This was to be expected of the Fetal Hydrops. The doctor informed me at that visit that when the end of her life was near I would start to feel less and less movement from her before her little heart would eventually stop beating. That is exactly what happended after Friday, October 6, 2006. That next day it was hard to feel her move and by Sunday October 8, 2006 I was sure that her little body was getting ready to let go. Later that day, I went into our local hospital to have a heartbeat check and she was still with us, despite the lessening movements. The next day at my weekly scheduled doctor appointment on Monday, October 9, 2006 they confirmed at that time that her heart had stopped beating. I believe that I felt her move for the last time as they where trying to locate her heart beat via doppler. Emma was stillborn the following morning Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 9:27 a.m. after 12 hours of induced labor at United Children's Hospital in St. Paul, MN. Emma weighted 1 pound 11 ounces and was 9 inches long. We choose to spend the next 6 hours holding her and cherishing every moment we had with her. Both sets of her grandparents where present and able to hold her and make some very precious memories with her during those hours as well. We said our final goodbye to our precious baby girl after 3:30 p.m. that cold dreary Tuesday afternoon. It was a bittersweet moment.

On Saturday, October 14, 2006 we held a funeral for Emma Dori Van Someren in our home of Baldwin, WI with a graveside burial. The funeral was short but sweet and touched many hearts. We sang Jesus Loves Me and let pink balloons go after the song ended. Following the funeral we held a community visitation for 3 hours for any family and friends to attend to honor our daughter's short life here on this earth.

I can't wait to see my daughter again one day in heaven. I'm not scared of dying and going to heaven anymore knowing that I will once again have my little baby Emma waiting to see me up there and we will once again get to be with one another. Waiting for that time won't be easy, but I have many more memories that I hope to make in my lifetime including giving Emma another sibling to look down on from heaven and know that she will get to meet that new little person along with her two wild older brothers someday. Until we meet again my little daughter angel Emma, please know how much you are loved and missed every minute of every day by your family.

Love your Mommy,

Brooke

B Storm
10-31-2006, 12:38 AM
I am praying for you and your family. God will give you the peace that you need to get through each day. I know this because this is how I get through each day. Thanks for sharing!

Tammy
10-31-2006, 08:48 AM
Brooke,
Thank you for sharing Emma's story, for giving us the priviledge of knowing your precious little girl. Please know we are here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on. My heart and prayers to you and your family.

Heather Lombardo
10-31-2006, 10:01 AM
Brooke, Kirk, Carter & Ethan,

Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your life and inviting me in to be a part of Emma's. You are an amazing family!

We are blessed to know you!

Bill Tilton
10-31-2006, 04:11 PM
Brooke,

In an earlier private message to me, you asked about editing your post. I am answering here so that I can include an attachment.

For any message that YOU post, I believe you will see an edit button at the bottom of the post. You should be able to just click on that and then make the changes you want.

Sometimes, I find it helpful to create and modify text separately in a word processor. Then I just copy it into the mail message when I have it the way I want it. In your case, you will probably want to be able to print copies for family and friends anyway.

If you are in an email or forum post, like the one I'm doing here, there are several keystrokes that are helpful.

<CNTR> A — selects the entire message
<CNTR> X — deletes the selected text but keeps a copy in memory
<CNTR> C — copies the selected text, but leaves the original unchanged
<CNTR> V — pastes the previously copied text to a new location

I have attached a Word document to this message. I did that by going to your original message and pressing <CNTR> A to select everything. Then I pressed <CNTR> C to make a copy. Then, I opened a word processor and pressed <CNTR> V to paste the text in.

In the attached Word document, I added some paragraphs, a few commas and a few spelling changes. Feel free to use or ignore as you see fit.

Sincerely,

Bill

Amber Schmidt
11-13-2006, 11:26 PM
Brooke, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us! Hugs and prayers for you!

Brooke
11-14-2006, 10:47 AM
Hi Amber,

Your so very welcome. Talking about Emma as much as possible with people like you is what helps me grieve and feel better and get through this difficult time. I appreciate your support.

Brooke

Kathi Buss
11-14-2006, 04:32 PM
Brooke,
Thank you so much for sharing your story of beautiful Emma with us. I believe it helps us, as photographers, to truly understand why these photos that we take are so important to the families. And, it encourages us to keep wanting to do this to help in any way we can. I'm so glad you shared with us, I will be praying for your family.

Brooke
11-14-2006, 05:42 PM
Hi Kathi,

There are no words to describe our thanks that we feel towards all you photographers. You give us all we will ever have of our babies and for that we are forever grateful!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read Emma's Short Life Story. It means so much to me when people read it and respond to me, it helps with the grieving process. I believe that Emma's short time with us has changed me forever and I want to give to others that will some day follow this same unfortunate path in life. Each day that goes by I am one day closer to seeing my daughter again in heaven, but until then I will live each day to the fullest and make many new memories to share with her until we meet again.

Thank you,

Brooke

Heather Lombardo
11-14-2006, 07:40 PM
Hi Kathi,

Each day that goes by I am one day closer to seeing my daughter again in heaven, but until then I will live each day to the fullest and make many new memories to share with her until we meet again.

Thank you,

Brooke





Brooke,

BEAUTIFULLY said!!!!!! What a wonderful statement...

Hugs,
Heather

Brooke
11-14-2006, 08:15 PM
Hi Heather,

Thanks for the compliment. Sometimes I don't know if what I am saying is appropriate and helpful for that other grieving parent or hurtful. So glad to hear that I said something positive and hopefully helpful.

Brooke

tinantravis
11-15-2006, 02:55 PM
Brooke-
Thanks for sharing. I am thankful that we have met despite the circumstances that caused us to connect. I feel blessed to know you and your daughter, Emma. Can't wait for the next play date.
God Bless You and Your Family,
Tina

Sherry Petri
11-15-2006, 10:46 PM
Brooke,
Your sweet Emma's story is so precious as are the photos you shared a few weeks ago. I am so thankful that you had a friend who had gone through the same diagnosis to be with you those last 3 weeks of Emma's life. I share your feeling of excitement about heaven...I sing a song to my kids that says "I've got more to go to heaven for than I had yesterday".
Thank you for lighting the candle on our Jonathan's web page. I wish we could have met in happiness......

MammasAngels1
11-15-2006, 11:26 PM
Brooke,
Thank you for sharing your story with everyone here. i am new to this website but i am starting to find my way around and i found your story and read it and it was so sad i can say now that i know how everyone in here feels and that i can put my self in every body shoes becuase i have to myself lost a little boy and i am trying to post his story to share with everyone as soon as i can figure it out

Brooke
11-15-2006, 11:30 PM
Hi MammasAngels1,

I just joined in the middle of October, I two am still learning how to work around in this forum, but so glad I joined. It has been a very positive experience for me and I am sure it will be for you also. Good luck on composing your son's story. I can't wait to read it. I believe that getting the opportunity to post your son's story will bring a sense of peace to your mind, body, and soul. It did for me and I love to talk about my daughter, Emma even though her stay on earth was very short. It helps the grieving process. Good luck to you and we are all here for you!!!

Brooke (Emma's Mommy)
Sister to Carter- 4yrs. & Ethan- 18 months.

Kirk Kief
11-16-2006, 04:50 PM
Brooke,
i am trying to post his story to share with everyone as soon as i can figure it out
Here is a link to instructions on how to post a new thread (Simply click on this kink) http://www.nowisleep.com/showthread.php?t=319

BreManley
11-25-2006, 02:34 PM
Brooke~ Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us all at NILMDTS. It is precious just like her. Emma is lucky to have a family like yours. Her two bigger brothers are just adorable. God Bless your family. I am sorry that Emma is not here with you, but she will forever be in your heart. I will send her a kiss tonight before I go to bed. If you need anything let me know. Thank you again for sharing your daughters story with all of us.

Brooke
11-26-2006, 11:06 AM
Hi Breanna,

Thank you so very much for reading Emma's story. It really makes me feel good that her story touches so many people. Yesterday I had a harder day then I had been for a while. I think it was because of decorating for christmas and I should be almost 8 months along with Emma. Your reply came at just the right time. I needed a little pick me up. Emma must have told you that I did. Thanks again for the support.

Love,

Brooke (Emma's Mommy)
Sister to Carter-4 and Ethan-18 months

BreManley
11-26-2006, 12:51 PM
Brooke,
Emma must have known her mommy needed me to post something for you. Decorating for Christmas isn't what it used to be. I know that my girls were so excited to put our tree up, and after we did I felt sad. It just is not fair that Adam is not here with us celebrating Christmas this year. I was just an Aunt so I feel for each and everyone of you. (parents) We will have to be strong for our families because they need us too. I will make sure Adam is remembered that day by lighting a candle for him, and leaning my shoulder to his mommy. Take care Brooke, and if you need to talk let me know I will be here for you.
Breanna