Remembering our Loved Ones this Christmas

[tinantravis]

With Christmas approaching, I am struggling with how to remember and honor Isaiah's life. I want to send a Christmas card with our family picture as well as a picture of Isaiah. Is this okay? Will family members consider this morbid or strange? It's important to me, but I'm wondering what others out there have done. I plan on buying a special ornament in honor of Isaiah, but what else could I do? Any ideas? I'm scared that no one will remember his this holiday season since this is our first holiday without him. Can you help?

[Jessi Hill]

Tina,
I do not think it is morbid... but some may> depends on your family/ friends I guess. What we do is get an ornament for Tristan each year, and I collect an angel statue for his garden each year also. No one says too much about him during the holidays, as they are afraid to upset me I am sure, but I am pretty sure they remember.
You do what you need to do to make the holiday season bearable, and remember we are all here for you.

[Lisa]

Tina,
I don't think it is morbid either. My husband and I are going to be sending our family picture and also a picture of Matthew in our Christmas cards. We want to share our beautiful angel with all family and friends. We also just today bought a angel ornament at Hallmark. It is perfect the name of it is Always Remembered.. I love it.

Lisa

[Tammy]

Hi Tina~
Here are a couple ideas for you and other families.
You can have one of Isaiah's images screen printed onto a little T-shirt or sweat-shirt. Purchase a special stuffed animal big enough for the little shirt. If you do family photos, include the little stuffed animal wearing the shirt with Isaiah's picture on it. You can even have "Our little Angel" and his name printed on it.

Purchase a special toy that is age appropriate for Isaiah and donate it to a children's shelter or to another charitable organization.

We planted a cherry tree for Chase last year, this year I am going to decorate it with Christmas lights.

Send a little Christmas candle to your family and closest friends. Ask them to light it during the holidays (or choose a specific day/night/time) to symbolize and remember little Isaiah.

Place a Christmas wreath at the cemetery.

Just a few ideas floating around in my head~ hope they help some.

[Sherry Petri]

Tina,
Each year, I type out a Christmas letter to include in our Christmas cards. I always describe what new and funny things our kids are doing. Last year was my Jonathan's first Christmas in heaven. In the letter, I included Jonathan and said I thought he was probably playing on the streets of gold. This year, I will say I imagine Jonathan sitting at the feet of Jesus, the very best place to celebrate Christmas. Our cards are photo cards made from our favorite picture during the year. Last year, I used the fuji machine at walmart to put his initials in the background....just as a reminder that he is always with us. He was born in October, so for his day and for pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, Tasha Nichols(from here) designed beautiful photo cards using a picture of his feet in our hands that we sent out. We asked that our family who would have bought him a birthday or Christmas present to send that gift to NILMDTS. Like you, I worried about the picture, so that is why I just sent the one of his sweet little feet.
Tammy, I love your idea about the shirt for the bear. My husband bought me a build a bear last year and recorded a message about Jonathan. The kids and I call him Jonathan bear.....I think he needs a new shirt.

[Deb Stoner]

Another idea...
Use a gold angel stamp and sign Isiah's name under the angel. There are also angel holepunch type stamps. I use this. To me, it symbolizes my missing angel. Even if noone else knows what it means, I do.

[B Storm]

Tina,

My family and I are printing baby Sam's footprints on our Christmas letter.
Around his feet, we are going to say In Honor of Samuel Storm. This is also our first Christmas.:( I will be thinking of you and your family.

Love and Hugs,
Brooke Storm
Mother to Lilly and to our Heavenly Angel Samuel

[Brooke]

Hi Everyone,

First off good dicussion topic Tina. Second, you all have excellent suggestions for making the Holiday Season special for your family and your little angel in heaven. I purchased a Cross Christmas Wreath and will be hanging it at Emma's gravesite. I also already purchased a Angel christmas ornament that turns in a circle and changes color to display on our christmas tree. As for Christmas cards we will be using a family pregnancy photo and along side or placed somewhere in the picture will be our daughter Emma's tiny foot prints. I want to buy a baby present to donate to a local toy exchange/collection site, but for me I am having a dilema. You see, I should really still be pregnant with Emma, so don't know if I should do this or not. I was due to deliever her via c-section January 25th. The toy is suppose to resemble what age she would have been and what she may have played with, but since she really wouldn't have been born yet, I don't know what to do. What do you all think? Anyway, I love all your ideas and I'm sure whatever we all decided to do to honor our little angels, there is no right or wrong answer!!!

Brooke (Emma's Mommy)
Sister to Carter-4 yrs. & Ethan- 18 months.

[Tammy]

Soft cuddley baby blankets would make a wonderful donation gift. Or infant clothing, musical mobiles, things like that. Just a thought. :o

[Sherry Petri]

Brooke,
I hope this doesn't make you more sad, but I thought a lot about your dilemma. I was thinking that Christmas will come at the time when you should have been going to your baby shower. My thought was possibly giving a small baby shower to someone through an organization such as a crisis pregnancy center or contacting social services to see if they could connect you with a social worker for someone in need.

[shawna]

This is a great topic. I have been worrying about the holidays for weeks now and can't decide what to do. I don't think I will do a single photo card this year since we don't have an entire family picture. I like the idea about a family pregnancy photo, I do have a few of those. I am also considering the letter idea with several photos of everyone scattered throughout. I would hope that my family and friends would welcome Tyson's picture in the letter, but I guess it could freak a few people out. Here's a thought, if it makes us feel better or more at peace than we should do it, they can always just not read the letter and we will never know!

I found several places that will put a photo onto a Christmas ornament and plan on making one for Tyson. Try snapfish.com, it was very affordable and simple but the only design they have is a snowflake. Has anyone found an angel ornament that can have a picture printed on it?

[Tasha Nicholls]

Shawna,

You would think it would be simple to find something like that, but I couldn't find any angel photo ornaments with the photo printed on.

I did find some angel frame ornaments with a place to put a picture... here's what I found:

Memory frame ornament with angels
http://www.harrietcarter.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/product.detail/_/Memory-Frame-Ornament/productID/ae732cfa-8569-4acb-9a7e-051f02e40155/

Oriental Trading Company Battenberg Angel Ornaments-Cheap, but still might be cute.

http://www.orientaltrading.com/application?origin=page.jsp&namespace=browse&event=link.itemDetails&categoryId=342679&BP=8112&cm_mmc=Trafficleader-_-Datafeed-_-Datafeed-_-Datafeed&sku=4%2f1480

Hinged angel ornament with space for photo inside
http://store.toplinegifts.com/1091.html

And... this site had really pretty angel frames… which are only 4” high, so they appear to be the same size as their ornaments… maybe you can add ribbon/wire yourself to make into an ornament?
http://www.ptangels.com/pins_ornaments_fra


Hope that helps!

[Charlene Lopez]

I think your idea sounds great, you should do whatever suits you and not worry about what people might think. In many cases, being open allows other people to feel more comfortable talking with you about your baby. We started a tradition where we hang Daniels stocking along with ours. Everyone around us knows they can write a letter to him and send it to us. We put it in his stocking and this will be our second Christmas without him and it's almost full.

It gave people close to us a way to express their feelings to him, support us, and it was so wonderful to read them all. Some were so sweet, describing that person's year, others were drawings from small cousins of his. I read them all before I packed everything up and I'll read them all when I unpack next week. We also light a luminara in his honor on Christmas Eve and sit down together to watch his video. I feel it's important to always make him the special part of our family that he always will be. We also buy a toy that would suit Daniels age right now and donate it to a charity.

I really like the baby shower idea, its such a great way to give back to someone who really needs it in your babies honor.:rolleyes:

[Tasha Nicholls]

Charlene,

I LOVE the stocking idea with having everyone write letters or draw pictures.... what a wonderful tradition and comfort to you, knowing that Daniel is remembered by others, as well!

[tifferdawns]

Tina,
There is nothing wrong with including Isaiah on your Christams cards. He is a part of your family and if you want to include his picture that is a personal choice. If others have a problem with it, then they will have to deal with it themselves. I have chosen not to include Caden's photo on our Christmas card for the simple fact that I am going to be sending his birth announcements out at the same time. Instead, I wrote - Merry Christmas from here on Earth and Heaven above. I scanned his footprints, played with the color and signed his name next to them.

Also, if you are wanting an ornament to remember Isaiah, this is a wonderful idea.

http://www.glassetchingfever.com/children.htm

I ordered one for both of my boys.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Here are some other great resources for memorial gift ideas...

http://www.personalizationmall.com/Category.aspx?storeid=32&categoryid=1161&did=69964

http://www.thecomfortcompany.net/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=8

[Cheryl Haggard]

Just thought I would share the photographs I am using this Christmas for our cards...Maddux is represented as the 'Pooh Bear...'

[B Storm]

Cheryl,

I love the pictures! They are very sweet.

B.Storm

[Tasha Nicholls]

Darling pictures!

Anna's 10 now, right? I can't believe it... she looks so grown up. You and Mike are going to have your work cut out for you fending off the boys with those two gorgeous girls! I see a lot of both you and Mike (well... from what I've seen in the pictures) in Chase, too... what a handsome young man.

Love the pooh bear, as always... it's a wonderful way to include Maddux!

One of these years we want to see a family photo with you and Mike, too! (I'm one to talk... I always send out photos of just my kids)

Thanks for sharing. :D

[Jessi Hill]

Beautiful!!! I love the bear representing Maddux- means more than just signing his name as an angel ( that is what I did for Tristan this year- did a little angel wing & halo right before his name) If people have a problem with that I guess they will have to get over it.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Thanks everyone...
Anna and Natalie are the cause for my gray hairs...
Yes-Anna is only 10, but going on 16...
Natalie is 6, going on 10.
Chase is 13, going on 14...Yeah!!!!

On my holiday cards, I used the wording:


It's A Wonderful Life!
Christmas Blessings
from the Haggard Family.
Mike, Cheryl, Chase,
Anna, Natalie and our
Angel Maddux.


I did not send out holiday cards last year.
I don't think it is wrong or ackward to include Maddux either visually or verbally in our holiday card. Maddux IS a member of our family...Now and always.

[CMatros]

This is also our first Christmas without Anna...When I was visiting my sister in Florida, we went to a Hallmark store and I found a little stained glass angel ornament with Anna's name on it...they also had a little memorial ornament as well that I purchased. The funeral home we went through had a little 'seminar' and had a grief counselor available to give ideas and advice to grieving family members and if you wanted to have an ornament made, we would get it there when we rsvp...we were unable to go but last week I got the nicest packet of info and a brass dove ornament with 'Anna Matros 2-25-06' on the front and 'in loving memory' on the back...this was the nicest thing we have gotten. I am not sure what we are going to do at her grave, but I am sure we will think of something. Since our family is so small, everyone seems to do their own thing with how to remember Anna in the short 2 hours she lived. But my favorite little 'rememberance' would be my new niece that will be born in January...Channing Grace...named after our angel Anna Grace. I would love to know what others do each year to remembered their baby.

[Martin Comiskey]

Cheryl,
Its always great to see photos of the kids. I love the wording for the christmas cards, and of course I Love the Pooh!
Martin:D

[tinantravis]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful ideas. I just thought I would share what I did decide to do to honor Isaiah:

--Heather Lombardo, our photographer, agreed to do a collage Christmas card with pictures of everyone in the family, including Isaiah
--I wrote a Christmas letter (even though we haven't had the best year) that recapped our year to be sent with the picture card. A did a special paragraph on Isaiah and the many lessons we have learned and have continued to learn from his earthly and heavenly life. I encouraged family and friends to write letters to be collected in his stocking year after year. It was also important that I shared milestones of our other son, Ethan, with family and friends. I signed the letter:

To a joyful present and well-remembered past
Travis, Tina, Ethan,
our heavenly angel, Isaiah
& baby

--We decorated a special Christmas tree in honor of Isaiah. It's decorated in all blue/silver (tinsel, bulbs, lights) and has a blue bow on the top with his name. We've received a couple of ornaments, which also adorn the tree.
--We also decorated Isaiah's gravesite with a smaller Christmas tree, flowers, and tinsel.
--We plan on giving small votive candles in glass holders to family members on Christmas to light in honor of Isaiah (special holidays or any day).

Thanks again for the great responses...and great ideas!!
Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season!!:)

[Charlene Lopez]

What wonderful ways to celebrate Isaiah's life. I especially love the wording you chose. I also really love his picture, what a sweetie pie:p

[Jamie Little]

Tina, what a wonderful topic! I have so many things to get busy with now.

Cheryl, thank you for the beautiful idea! We made a bunny for Keiran when I was pregnant. I will now include it in family photos.

[lori anderson]

This was our 4th Christmas without Jackson, but we still buy a new ornament each year for him. When the older kids pick their's, they pick his too. Also,my Mom always gives me something each year to remember him too.
I also make sure we buy for a needy child in his memory.