Scott Hays
11-21-2006, 10:43 PM
Ok dad's (and mom's)
This is a little something that we found beneficial now that we look back on it. We didn't know that we did it, but ultimately we did. With the holidays coming up, the rush of everything going on around you, the expectation of everything being "normal" because it's been ___(fill in the blank with the appropriate length of time). Ok, we all know having been there, normal will never seem to be normal again, and there will never be an appropriate amount of time. And now looking ahead, do any of us really need or want the hustle and bustle of the holidays? Well, sometimes we can't really avoid them, especially if we have other children or family members that really do need us. The key being "really do" need us.
I think my point is this. Find time for yourself. Dad, if your wife is looking really stressed out, and pay attention this holiday season, it isn't just going to be because she's shopping or baking to much. Stress is going to come quite easily. If she's looking stressed out, ask if she needs time alone, or just give it to her. Take some of those tasks off her hands. Better yet, give her a hug, one of those long ones that you may not have given her in a long time, tell her that you love her, and ask if there's anything you can do. Then just start doing things to help. We're all adults, we know what needs to be done.
Mom's, dad's are going to be a little stressed out to. Big difference here, we probably aren't going to admit it, or even know that we are. We need your help recognizing it. Give us a little help if you recognize it.
Most importantly, take time out for yourselves. You've just suffered one of the most stressful losses a couple can go through. If you have children, see if someone can watch them for a night, and spend some quiet time alone. Go out for a quiet night. Spend the night in a hotel for a change of pace, or just cuddle up on the couch. Turn off the cell phones, turn off the computer.... just be.
These are just some thoughts from an old dad. For what ever it's worth. I wish you all the best during the holiday season. Don't over do it, unless that's just who you are. Take a break when you need it though.
Happy Holidays
Scott
This is a little something that we found beneficial now that we look back on it. We didn't know that we did it, but ultimately we did. With the holidays coming up, the rush of everything going on around you, the expectation of everything being "normal" because it's been ___(fill in the blank with the appropriate length of time). Ok, we all know having been there, normal will never seem to be normal again, and there will never be an appropriate amount of time. And now looking ahead, do any of us really need or want the hustle and bustle of the holidays? Well, sometimes we can't really avoid them, especially if we have other children or family members that really do need us. The key being "really do" need us.
I think my point is this. Find time for yourself. Dad, if your wife is looking really stressed out, and pay attention this holiday season, it isn't just going to be because she's shopping or baking to much. Stress is going to come quite easily. If she's looking stressed out, ask if she needs time alone, or just give it to her. Take some of those tasks off her hands. Better yet, give her a hug, one of those long ones that you may not have given her in a long time, tell her that you love her, and ask if there's anything you can do. Then just start doing things to help. We're all adults, we know what needs to be done.
Mom's, dad's are going to be a little stressed out to. Big difference here, we probably aren't going to admit it, or even know that we are. We need your help recognizing it. Give us a little help if you recognize it.
Most importantly, take time out for yourselves. You've just suffered one of the most stressful losses a couple can go through. If you have children, see if someone can watch them for a night, and spend some quiet time alone. Go out for a quiet night. Spend the night in a hotel for a change of pace, or just cuddle up on the couch. Turn off the cell phones, turn off the computer.... just be.
These are just some thoughts from an old dad. For what ever it's worth. I wish you all the best during the holiday season. Don't over do it, unless that's just who you are. Take a break when you need it though.
Happy Holidays
Scott