I have Postpartum Depression

[Rayna']

I had my second miscarriage this year in Sept. The next day we signed a contract on a house & move in Oct 5. So with everything that has been going on I really haven’t had time to grieve & such. I started taking Zoloft 50mg after the d&c & had to increase it several times since then & now I am up to Zoloft 150mg. It worked for about two weeks & then Monday I hit bottom again. If you are interested in seeing what I’ve been through just read my blog on www.myspace.com/raynahopkins (http://www.myspace.com/raynahopkins). If you don’t already have a profile with them you can make up a fake one & then read my stuff. Anyway, before I left work yesterday I called the nurse to see if Garcia would let me increase my meds. She called back & said that he wants me to come in & talk to me. The front office was already close so I left a message for them this morning. Roberta called me back & said she didn’t have an appt until Monday. I started crying & said I didn’t think I could wait until Monday. She said they were only opened ½ day but she would transfer me back to the nurse to see what she said. Of course I got her voicemail. Aughhh! I waited & waited. I was going to beg her to either let me come in or increase my meds or I was going to the E.R. I was desperate. They finally called two hours later & said I could come in after they were already closed. I talked to my doctor & he said with my ups & downs & everything else it looks like I have post partum depression. I never thought about having that. Duh! I thought I was losing my mind. He told me to keep taking Zoloft 150mg & he gave me something else to take a night. I just feel better knowing I am not crazy!

[Tasha Nicholls]

Rayna,

No you're not crazy... I'm sure a lot of women go through similar feelings after a miscarriage. You've had two this year and have moved into a new home... that's a lot of stress and change... enough to set anyone off. I'm glad to hear that your Doctor was so helpful and brought you in after hours. Hopefully, you can find some relief and help from the meds.

Hang in there and take care of yourself!

[Rayna']

thanks! I am feeling better. Just taking one day at a time.

[Tasha Nicholls]

Great!!! :D

[Tammy]

Rayna'~ one day at a time is all you can do. You have been through so much, and yet you still give to families who need you. That, in my book, is something very special~ YOU are a very special person. Just don't forget to take care of yourself~ ok? ((hugs))

[Brooke]

Hi Rayna,

I'm so sorry to her about how you are feeling. It sucks!! I hear you. I'm going to see my doctor at 4:00 today (Monday December 11th). I may be experiencing some post-pardum also. Maybe it is because of the holidays and not having my daughter with me. Who knows. I hope the doctor will shed some light on me and give me some sound advise. I did experience insomnia/anxiety with my second born son at 8 weeks post delievery and they are exactly the same symptoms as I am experiencing right now. I'm sure adding a emotional loss of a child will set a person off. I don't want to go back on Zoloft again but if that is all it takes to feel normal than I will do it for a few months. I'm sure with all your adjustments in life it has played a roll in how you feel to. Just remember what we are experiencing and it is normal. I just keep telling myself to look at the bigger picture. That this feeling is just a small small part of our lives and we won't feel like this forever. It is nice to see and hear about someone else that is feeling down and depressed right now. We'll get through this together. Hang in there.

Love,

Brooke (Emma's Mommy)
Sister to Carter-4 and Ethan-19 months

[Rayna']

thanks Brooke & Tammy!! Yeah, Christmas is hard right now. My husband doesn't understand just because I was only 10 weeks & 12 weeks doesn't mean I won't be sad during Christmas. But the poor guy is trying!

How did your appt go, Brooke?

[Tina Gunn]

Rayna - I wish I had more words. But your doctor did come to a good conculsion. Our bodies do not adjust to all those changes in a short time. You body was just getting use to being pregnat then not. You are so strong - I have no idea how you do it as a photographer. I am so proud of you and all that you have over come and accomplished since joining NILMDTS. I really wish I could offer more.
Prayers and thoughts are with you.
Tina

[Rayna']

Tina, what you just said is perfect! I appreciate the kind words & prayers.

[Brooke]

Hi Rayna,

My appointment went fine. I saw a brand new doctor today.She really took the time and listend and seem to want to help me as best she could for right now. She didn't think that I seemed depressed, maybe just a little anxious. She prescribed me more sleeping aids (Ambien) until I start to sleep on my own again. She didn't want to prescribe me Zoloft right now because I told her of our wishes to start trying to conceive come March-April. Because of Zoloft needing to be in your body for a minimum of at least 6 months she would rather just try this first and if this does the trick then that is good. She says if I give this two-four weeks or my symptoms start to become worse than I should call and she'll perscribe Zoloft for me also. I think that maybe if I just take my sleeping pill to get enough sleep especially through the holiday season then maybe I'll level off again. I think a lot of it is to do with my hormones trying to get back to pre-pregnancy level again. I never had any sleeping issues while pregnant,too exhausted I think. So hope also to become pregnant again and that should help too. I'm dwelling a lot right now on the future and a future pregnancy and I think that consumes a lot of my time right now. Just wishing and praying for another healthy baby in the near future. That is what keeps me going. I hope you continue to get well with each day. If you ever want to talk just drop a e-mail or posting.

Love,

Brooke
Mommy to Carter-4, Ethan-19 months, & angel Emma