So what do you wish you did, and forgot or

[Sarah O'Neal]

didn't think of it?


I wish I would have cut her fingernails. I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I would have greased her up with Johnsons baby lotion. The thought crossed my mind, but I didn't do it. I wish I would have painted her fingernails.

[Deb Stoner]

I wish we would have put a picture of our family in her casket-didn't think of it. I have a lot of wishes, I guess. There were a lot of things about that day that weren't perfect, but Marah sure was sweet and perfect to me!

[Tammy]

I wish
1.) I had a complete family picture
2.) We had Chase's slideshow for his memorial sevice
3.) I would have a clearer memory of the events that took place on that night
4.) I would have been able to hold my baby longer
5.) I would have never have had to give him back to God

[Karla]

I wish that I didn't have tubal ligation surgery the day Cydney Paige was born, not so I can have another baby, but I would not have been in pain and discomfort, and I would have been able to stand on my two feet, strong and able to care for her the way I wanted to.

I wish that I had put a teddy bear for her and wrap her in a warm cuddly blanket. I worry about that now.

Cydney Paige's mama.

[Jessi Hill]

I wish I would have
-Insisted that my maternal grandparents hold him (they never got to)
-Had Professional photos
-Had a slideshow for the memorial (I am working on a show now just for myself)
-Had more photos after there were no tubes
-Had color photos from the funeral (somehow we got a B/W roll of film in the camera at that time)
-Had jewlery made in his memory

But there are also many things I am glad we did...
I wrapped him in his blanket
I tucked him in the casket myself
I put his stuffed animals in with him
I put our wedding photo in with him
I put his guardian angel in there too
I kept his clothing in a zip lock bag along with his blankets from the night before
I kept a duplicate of his EEYORE and gave him one as well
I etched his gravestone myself
and the funeral home put lotion on him for me and they didn't use a drop of makeup.... he was simply perfect and at peace- his coclor was better than ever.

[Cheryl Haggard]

I wish that after Maddux died, that I didn't feel out of place at the hospital.
I wish I would have stayed longer and held him.
I wish there would have been aplace where I could lay down with him and spent the night holding him.
I wish I could have taken him in the bath tub, and held him in the warm water against my chest.

I wish I could have taken him home...

[Karla]

Dearest Cheryl,

I sense that you are in a lot of pain these past days. Most probably because mother's day is coming up. I know only too well your pain, but I so wish that there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. I have read so many of your posts in reply to another's pain, your words always so strong and encouraging, uplifting as if you were taking it all away from us. I am not too good at words, and being so far away from you, it's all I really have. Please know that I completely understand what you are going through and........

I wish I could hug you tightly,
I wish I could make all that you wish come through,
but all I can really do
is pray that you will have peace.

Love and best wishes
Karla

[marylouise]

To all the Moms, as Mother's Day approaches I pray that you find comfort, peace, and new normal. You are my heros.
Hugs

[jaiew]

I wished I would have bought him things. Knowing his chances of surviving were so low we never went shopping for him, because I don't think I could have come home to all of his things. I finally decided to buy him a teddy bear but he came early and I didn't have time to get it. We bought him one after and laid it in his cherub with him. More importantly I wished I would have bought him some clothes, the first outfit I bought was the one I buried my little man in. Talk about regret.

[Rayna']

I wish I knew if you both were a boy or a girl. :(

[Cheryl Haggard]

I am thinking ~ HUG FEST 2007.
Anyone else in agreement???

[Lindzy Foster]

i wish that i would have gotten hand prints, and a second foot mold(the hospital broke it), i wish that i had been with you Kaydence when you passed, i wish that i had given you the bath and cleaned you up after you returned to heaven, i wish i had held you longer instead of feeling so rushed to move on at the hospital, i wish that i had taken more pictures and video of you and pictures of you and your grandparents, i wish that your brothers and sister had met you, i just wish we had more time...but i am thankful for what we had...

and Cheryl maybe we could change that a bit and it could be the name of the conference next year....HUG FEST 2008

[Jordan]

I wish I knew if my tubal pregnancy was a boy or girl. I wish that I had the picture of the ultrasound that confirmed she was gone. I am so grateful for all I have. Thank you Heather for coming that night and all you have done for us since. You are a true blessing to us.

[Lyssa Sauer]

There are so many thing I wished I would have done, like taking more pictures and more video,but the one thing if I could go back and change would be the day we laid you in the ground I wish I would have picked you up out of the casket and held you one last time. We buried Payton wit a family picture jewlery and we bought him a new outfit I kept the one he wore that last night he was with us becuase it was the only outfit he ever wore. ((((HUGS)))) to everyone I think sometimes if we would have actually thought he wasnt staying we would have done more as well. I really didnt think my little boy wouldnt be here for me to hold or to see again in this life.

[cheryl]

I wish I would have studied and memorized every one of your features.
I wish I would have given you a bath.
I wish I would have held you longer.
I wish I would have known about NILMDTS.
I wish your memories filled more than a box and my heart...


Cheryl,
Missing her angel Evan

[Kerry]

I wish I would have cut a piece of hair for a locket. My mother thought of it a month later. I wish I could of taken more pictures of us with her and family. I wish her siblings could of seen her. I wish I could of taken a picture with her twin sister most of all. Pictures are nice but I wish I could go back to that scary day and feel the warmth of her in her blanket looking so peaceful.I can think of lots of things to change now but must of been a reason the way it all planned out. I am thankful for what I do have.

Kerry,
In Memory of Mallory

[anr0014]

I wish we would have had Lisa (our photographer) in the room the second he was born. I wish we had a picture of Jake's eyes open. I miss his eyes... and the way it felt when he looked at us. Time was just too short...

[HAINAngel2000]

all of us have something but getting to opprotunity as most of you to hold your baby and get pictures and rock her is probably my most regretted thing. I didn't really get most of that. After she passed away off the wisked her away and a huge fight over a lab getting her and the morgue I had to deal with. Then fighting with the doctors to put that she is a baby not just the common term "fetus". But by the time it was over and I stood my ground the death cert said baby. Anyway my point is everyone has regrets and wish I could haves and I think everyone who ever losses a baby or child feel the same way. Its so sad for me to hear of a baby passing away, but rewarding to know that we can all bind together to give to those that are suffering so maybe there will be less regrets.

I love being and stand behind this wonderful, awesome organization but friends like you.

[Sarah O'Neal]

I too wished I would have given her a bath. I did give her a bath the night she passed away and she smelled so good.

[tinantravis]

I wish...I would've had Ethan hold his little brother, or at least meet him.
I wish...Everyone could have felt what I felt when he left us to be with God.
I wish...I could have brought him home.
I wish...I would have danced with him.
I wish...I would have sung to him.
I wish...I could see him in my dreams again.
I wish...I could hold him everyday.
I wish...I could hear his heart race again when I said his name.
I wish...I had him in my arms again.

[Naomi]

I wish I would have given him a bath. I thought about it, but it seemed silly to bathe a stillborn baby. I took a bath with each of my girls for their first bath. I wish I had done that with Jonathan too.

[carissa13]

wow, I have tears running down my face right now, to feel your pain that I know oh so well.
My son was born May 17, 2007 and I had 16 long weeks to prepare as some called it and I still didn't think of everything. Reading what some of you wrote has given me more things I wish is would have done. But today my heart if heavy at the biggest regret of all, I do not have one picture of myself, my boyfriend and my daughter. I had a second photographer come in and I don't know that she knew my daughter was one of the few family members that were there. I do have 3 wonderful pictures of my daughter holding her baby brother but none of us as a complete family and that I will regret forever!

Wishes
~I wish I had a complete family photo
~I wish I would have taken photos with my son skin to skin
~I wish I would have had a clear head so I would have thought about the photos that I really wanted to have (even though I have wonderful ones)
~I wish I would have gotten hand prints
~I wish I would have held my son one last time in the funeral home
~I wish life would have been different and my son would have lived

Things I'm Thankful for doing
~keeping my son with my boyfriend and I even after he died until the very second we walked out of the hospital, I got to sleep for one night with my son in my arms, that memory is priceless.
~having the time to find that perfect outfit
~finding a wonderful photographer that I got to know before my son was born
~having some many pictures including maternity
~finding the perfect something to put my sons ashes in
~finding this website where I know that you guys know how I feel

It's only been 3 1/2 weeks since I lost my son, I'm sure I will think of more regrets and more things I'm thankful for.

[AngelJazzysMom]

I wish I didn't have to make the decisions I had to make (so I don't keep questioning if it was the right ones or not)
I wish I had a family picture of all of us together....atleast one.
I wish I got to take her home...

[Estrella]

First I want to say this is a wonderful thread. My heart breaks when I read it, but it is good to know that I am not alone with my regrets. My friends tell me not to second guess myself, but they have no idea how hard that is. The choices that we made are the only choices for our babies that we will ever be able to make...We want everything to be perfect. We will always cherish the memories that we have, but will that ever be enough?

I wish sometimes that I would of had my daughter hold her baby brother, other times I really think I did the right thing. I think this would have been too much for her...she has a hard time looking at photos.

I wish I would have had at least one photo taken right after delivery, before Anthony got his bath.

I wish I would've had more time to find the right funeral home. We went to the funeral home right after we left the hospital, my mind was not with me. The funeral director wrote down the wrong keepsake for Anthony's ashes...so when we went back to bring our baby home, once again he wasn't where I wanted him to be. Now I'm trying to decide whether to transfer him into the keepsake I chose for him, or to just let him rest. Why did I not read the order at the funeral home?

I am so thankful for my wonderful nurses who gave me so many ideas for preserving his memory. I would have never thought of these things in my state of mind.

I am thankful that I held my son in my arms until I left the hospital. I got to cuddle up close and sleep with him for two nights. On the last day...I changed his diaper, and his clothes. I did not bathe him, but I washed him up, put lotion on his sweet skin, wrapped him up tight in a blankie and put a hat on his head. I wish I would've cut his nails.

I could probably go on forever but right now all I wish is that I had my baby in my arms. I wish I would have never had to make these choices. I wish I would have never had to say goodbye.

[carissa13]

I had to bring this thread up again, I have had a whole new feeling of guilt over the things I did not do.
~ I wish I would have held Jarell's hand in the few moments he had his eyes open
~ I wish I would have gave him his bath instead of letting the nurse do it
~ I wish I would have really looked at his feet and hands, I mean really look at them, hold them, kiss them
~ I wish I would have looked harder for the kit you use to make a casting of baby hands and feet ( I have one of my older daughter when she was a baby)
~ I wish I would have made everyone leave the room so I could have had time all my myself with my son
~ I wish that my son would not have been a chosen one (no matter how selfish that is)
~ I wish I would have kissed him more
~ I wish I would have told him I loved him more
~ I wish I would have held him next to my face and smiled in at least one picture
~ I wish I would have carried Jarell down that horrible hallway (the one you are supposed to carry your baby down when you take them home) because then I wouldn't think it's such a horrible hallway. No one wants to see a mother carry her dead child (not that anyone would know except the nurse) down a hallway when she can't take that baby home but I wish I would have done it anyways. I often think of walking down that hallway without Jarell and how many tears I cried because of it. I kept Jarell with us until I had to take that walk without him and I feel so haunted by that memory.
I know in my head it's not my "fault" that Jarell had to go to Heaven but it's my heart that carries the burden of guilt that I struggle with.
Thanks for listening

[CrystalW]

I wish that I would have held her the whole day but I didn't know I could
I wish I would have had time to find a beautiful gown that would have fit her
I wish I wouldn't have let them put makeup on her
I wish I would have done a slideshow for her service
I wish I would have taken more pictures with her in my arms
I wish I knew about NILMDTS
I wish I had taken pictures with her skin to skin
I wish I had video of her looking at me when I talked
I wish she could have tasted my breastmilk
I wish I could keep her hat smelling like her forever
I wish I would have demanded they try more before letting her go
I wish my little brother could have held her
I wish I would have gotten to do Kangaroo care
I wish I would have spent more time at her side when she was alive
I wish I could have kept her inside me for her full nine months
I wish I would have never left her side the morning she passed
I wish I would have given her a better bath
I wish I could have heard her cry
I wish that our favorite nurse had never left for vacation
I wish I didn't have to say goodbye
I wish I would have let her suck on my finger
I wish people realized I am still hurting so badly
I wish I could cry in front of people

[carissa13]

I wish that I would have held her the whole day but I didn't know I could
I wish I knew about NILMDTS
I wish I could cry in front of people
Crystal ~ I feel your pain in your words and wishes. Just a thought....... maybe it will be you that will help others in your area to know that it's your God given right to hold your baby until the second you leave the hospital. If you didn't know, think of all the others that won't know. The only reason I kept my son with us until I left was because I read it in a book 'waiting with gabriel'. Maybe it will be you to educate the hospitals in your area about NILMDTS so there won't be another parent that does not know about this wonderful organization. And maybe just maybe you need to let yourself cry in front of others, you have a right to your tears, when ever they need to come. Love yourself, do what you need to do for your.
It's not always easy in our heartache to think about helping others but sometimes in life we must take our own trials and teach others what we have learned.
Hang in there ~ Carissa

[Cathy]

I wish that my other children could have held her (they only saw her at the funeral home) I didnt think that they should at the time I think I was wrong
I wish I could have given her a bath
I wish I had pictures of her with no cloths on
I wish I would have spent more time with her alone
I wish I would have kept her with me all night in the hospital
I wish I would have gone to the hospital on Saturday (maybe she would still be here)
I wish I could still smell her
I wish I could see her in my dreams
I wish most of all that she was born alive and crying

I could go on forever
Cathy

[Estrella]

Cathy, Your words speak from my heart, and I feel your pain...You are right, I think we could go on forever......with our never ending wishes...(((HUGS)))

[CrystalW]

Carissa~ Thank you! I actually do not live in the same town that Addison passed away in. I think the hospital may know about NILMDTS.. they ask me if I would like for them to call a photographer and I said yes but she couldn't come until after 6 in the evening and the funeral home was already on their way to pick her up. I'm not sure. I was in such a state that I don't remember much and I could not think clearly. Now I can look back and say I should have done this this and this but you know I was a mess. I'm sure everyone understands. As for the whole crying thing.. I'm not sure why I can't. I just can't. I did cry at her service but it wasn't like I have cried at home in private or with my husband. Thanks for your kind words.
Crystal

[Candice]

I wish I would have kept the blanket that the nurses wrapped her in when they brought her to us for the first time. I wish I would have kept her in my hospital bed and slept with her all night long.

[kattie05]

I wish I was still carryin him (Due date 7-8-08)
I wish I can hold him, kiss him, touch him, wash him, play with him....
I wish I could be a mother like a mother should be.
I wish I could see them bluish green eyes again.
I wish I could see him on his first birthday, Christmas, first day of school and all other first.

[kattie05]

Im thankful that the hostipal knew about NILMDTS.
Im thankful of the wonderful nurse I had.
Im thankful for the night that he past that both of his nurse from birth was there to see him go to heaven.
Im thankful that we had all the time we want with he by ourselves.
Im thankful that he has a wonderful father and grandparents (friends and family)

[motherofthree]

Hmmm...

I wish I wouldn't have let others hold her so long - so that Reju and I could have had more time. Two hours is such a short time to let someone hold her for 10 minutes.

I wish I had never put her down the entire time we had her with us...there were times that I lay her in the little bassinet thing so I could rest. How could I think I needed to rest more than I needed every possible second with Kavya?

I'm glad for most things I did do - I had time to do the research, you see...and while that time in "limbo" while I was pregnant was torture, I did benefit i some ways...I read and knew what to expect in many ways and got good ideas on how to memorialize.

[Marcus Momma]

I wish I would have changed his clothes instead of letting the nurse do it
I wish I would have takin the NILMDTS pics with him
I wish I would have held him longer
I wish I would have had him at a different hospital
I wish I would have did the footprints and handprints casts
I wish I would have rubbed lotion on him
I wish I could have held him while he was alive
I wish he could meet his new baby bro or sis now
I wish I was still holding him and bathing him

[marybethsmomma]

I wish I would of gotten pictures of all of us together when Mary was alive.
I wish we would of gotten a picture of my youngest holding her baby sister.
I wish I would of gotten a picture of her feet in her booties.
I wish we would of done a casting of her hands.
I wish we could of held her at the funeral home but I know it was impossible.
I wish i would of had my dh bring all our children to the hospital that morning.
I wish the Coroner hadn't rushed us.


I'm thankful for the staff at the hospital.
I'm thankful that an organization like this is here.
I'm thankful that the funeral home let us visit her and do castings of her feet the day before her funeral.
I'm thankful for the few hours we got to have her in our lives.

In a way I am thankful that we had her at home but I kind of wish we hadn't because maybe they would of noticed things weren't right and could of saved her. But if they wouldn't of been able to save her, what kind of life would she of had for those few hours?? It's a catch 22.

[Katherine]

I wish I could of kept on holding her (the nurses left her with me for almost 10 hours)
I wish I could of seen her with her eyes open
I wish I could of taken her home.

I did get professional pictures with her
I did get to hold her for along time
I did get a lock of her hair
I did get her feet prints

but I would give up all the things i did get, just to beable to hold her in my arms one more time, and give her one more kiss.

[Stacy Holley]

Well, I wish I would have kept her here for a little longer. She was on the vent, so we could have physically kept her here for a little longer. At the time all I could think about was not making her suffer another minute. And I wish my son would have seen her. He was only 3 at the time and they would not let him in the NICU because of RSV season and we decided not to let him see her after she passed away. Most of all, I just wish I would have never let her go out of my arms.....

[Madge]

I wish I had changed Dekar's diaper, at least once.

I wish I had held him, all alone, before the funeral home came.

I wish I had changed his clothes and kept them instead of getting them from the funeral home director a week later.

I am so thankful for all I had with Dekar, but I miss him so much.:(

[motherofthree]

One more I wish - I wish that I had held her skin-to-skin while she was with us (or after she passed) this is one experience I will never be able to have with Kavya.


but I would give up all the things i did get, just to beable to hold her in my arms one more time, and give her one more kiss.


I agree 100%...

[Christine Barrack]

I wish it didn't happen
I wish I would have known something was wrong, why didn't I know? She was inside me.
I hope she did not feel pain
I hope she did not suffer
I pray she knows how much I wanted her and still want her
I pray she knows how much I love her
I wish I knew then what I know now
I wish I could turn back time without loosing the children I have now
I wish I was with her
I am thankful for so many friends and family
I am thankful for His guiding hand
I am thankful for each of you here, but wish we didn't have to be here in this way
I am thankful for each day I wake
I am thankful for each person I can bring comfort to
I am thankful for the kindness of strangers
I am thankful for His promise to each of us

[chloe leann's mommy]

i wish i could hold her
i wish i didnt have to tell people i have a daughter but shes in heaven instead of with me
i wish she could have worn the outfits i bought her
i wish i had gone to the doc before that day
i wish i hadnt gotten pre eclampsia
i wish i could give her kiss
i wish people didnt look at me the way they do
i wish i didnt feel ashamed when i go to the doctor
i wish i didnt envy the people that have healthy babies
i wish this didnt happen
i wish chloes was here right now sleeping on my chest

im glad i got to wrap her in my baby blanket so she warm
im glad i got to hold her
im glad i got to feel her move
im glad she saved my life
im glad her daddy got to hold her
im glad we got to fill her casket with her things her carebears, a letter from me and her daddy, her daddy bracelet of our anniversary i gave him in high school, her toys, her shirt that says when daddy made me he was just showing off
im glad she was perfect

[MadiAidMak]

I wish that I would have held them more, looked at them longer, let more people hold , see and enjoy them and taken more pictures. I am thankful that I have the pictures I do and that I did hold them. Most of all I wish that I could have had them home with me.

[Sarah O'Neal]

I think I need to make a list and send it to the hospital..........

[motherofthree]

I think that's a wonderful idea, Sarah. Can you imagine if we had all had letters from another mother or mothers who went through this and had suggestions, so that we didn't have the regrets that we do?

[tanya723]

I wish I had not listened, so passively, to his heartbeat... every week ... week after week ... on every non-stress test ... at every ultrasound ... when on the last one ... his heartbeat was not there.

What I wouldn't give just to hear that little sound one more time.

[MelissaL]

I wish the hospital hadn't lied to me and said they'd take photos and they didn't

I wish so so much that I had a photo of her whole body without the tubes and wiring. Instead of a bunch of badly developed photos of me holding her and half of everything is blurred.

I wish I hadn't been told by someone that i couldn't have a photographer out when she died because I'd already had one out on the 2nd before we knew she'd died

I wish our families would have given just US, OUR family time alone with her. Instead of everyone being there and not leaving us be

[Melanie]

I wish I would have stood up for myself, and for Cara. I wish I would have seen the signs, they were there, I just didn't know. I wish I would have taken care of myself better afterwards, instead of rushing back to 'real life'. I wish I would have preserved Cara's memory better than I did.

[Valerie'sMomma]

I wish I could have put lotion on her body, I wish my 87 year old grandfather could have held her, I wish we had gotten a photo of my 8 year old and her baby sister, could have gotten a photo of our family of four and I wish I could have found more clothes that would have fitted her little body- she was 10 inches long and weighed less than a pound and a half. I wanted more photos of her whole body by herself- but I could not bare to let her go.

I am happy I had her for a week, that I got to hold and love her for 6 hours off the machines, that we had a NILMDTS photographer there, that I got to change her diaper, get her dressed, hear her fuss, and take a nap with her on my chest.

My problem is I want so much more...I miss my baby and I want the chance to raise my daughter. I hope and pray daily that she will be waiting for me at the gates of heaven when it is my time to go.

[owens_mom]

I wish that I had gotten professional pregnancy pictures taken. I thought about it, I even picked out a photographer, but I just kept putting it off. I really felt beautiful with this pregnancy. I wish I would have gotten a 3d ultrasound. I did it with Erin, and I still have the DVD. I would like to be able to remember him moving around and alive. I wish that I would have recorded his heart beat. I loved listening to it in the office. I wish that I would have had something more respectful for him to wear. My mother picked out the dumbest outfit. In all 2 of his pictures he looks like he is a little inmate with thick navy stripes. I wish I had known about NILMDTS. I wish I had a picture of him with me. All the images are of him with my mother. I couldn't stop crying long enough to... well... anything. I wish we had a funeral instead of trying to keep the sadness all to ourselves.

-Stephanie

[Katherine]

I have a few more wishes

I wish that I would of changed her diaper instead of the nurse putting it on.
I wish I would of been able to bath her.
I wish I would of looked at her more and really studied her body
I wish I had hand prints to go with her feet prints
I wish I had professional maternity pictures taken
I wish I would of gotten a photo of her, her father and I together instead of just her and her father and just me and her.

Im thankful for getting the 3d ultrasound done, not i have her on dvd and have her heartbeat in a teddy bear forever!
Im thankful that my 2 bestfriends got to see and hold her
Im thankful that I was able to get a pretty party dress for her to be cremated in.

[BrooklynsMommy]

I wish I would have talked to her more
I wish I would have given her a bath
I wish I would have put on her first diaper
I wish I would have spent the whole night with her
I wish I would have put baby lotion on her
I wish I would have told the nurses to give me her umbilical cord clamp
I wish I would have got more pictures with her eyes open
I wish there were more pictures of just her and me
I wish I wouldnt have left the day after I had her so I could have spent more time holding her
I wish I wouldnt have taken the epidural so i could have walked around with her
I wish I would have waited to put her outfit on so I could have some pictures of her all natural
I wish I had more color pictures of her
I wish I would have sang to her
I wish I would have asked the nurses to bring her to my room in the middle of the night
I wish I had more alone time with her
I wish I had recordings of her heartbeat
but most of all I wish she was still here.

[Tylersmom]

I wish I would have had a NILMDTS photographer come out to take
photographs
I wish I would have kept Tyler in the room with me longer
I wish I would have given him a sponge bath
I wish I would have taken more pictures
I wish I would have taken a nap with him snuggled up on my chest
I wish I would have had a short video of the moments after his birth and
when he was baptized
I wish I would have made a recording of his heartbeat at the last
ultrasound

I wish I could have him here with me in my arms... I miss him soooo much.

[Christine Barrack]

I wish so many things. I know I posted somewhere on this thread but wanted to bring it to the top again or others to read.


I wish I would have heard her cry.
I wish I would have given her a bath.
I wish I would have known my rights as a parent, to keep her in my room with me.
I wish I would have painted her fingernails (I didn't even think of that until I saw a post here).
I wish I would have dressed her for the first time and not the nurse.
I wish I would have a picture with her.
I wish I would have had time with her......miss you baby girl.

[marylouise]

Sending you hugs Chris.

[Darby]

I wish...
I would have told Shaunna I loved her
Her Dad would have held her
I would have held her skin to skin
That I would have been a better mom
That I wouldnt of let others get in the way of my emotion
I cherished my pregnancy more(I didnt expect to go into labor at 34 weeks)
I would have been more prepared with items for Shaunna
I would have gotten a picture of her in her last outfit that she wore
That I had pictures of me and her at the funeral home
That I would have spent more time with her instead of leaving that day
I would have slept with her in my arms longer
That people in the room would have been more understanding and not selfish
That I felt more comfortable in the situation

My biggest regret is not spending more time with her alone. I wanted it so much, but was afraid to tell others to leave so I didnt. Also not having more pictures of just me and her kills me.

This list could go on for days, but those are my biggest wishes that I wish I would have done.

[Abigailsmommy]

Hmmm, I have so many wishes that I think about all the time.

I wish
I would have looked at her all over (they already had her in a dress when they brought her to me)
I wish I would have changed her diaper
I wish i would have got a lock of her hair
I wish SO BAD that someone would have got a picture of my mom holding her
I wish things were different and she was here with me now

[bcangelrae]

I wish that I would have had the photographer wait till my mom got there.
I wish that I had pictures of just Delilah by herself in her cute pick outfit.
I wish that my mom would have made it there for her when she passed.
I wish my husbands family could have met her.
I wish my brother was there to see her and that my dad was there when she passed.
I wish I took a little more time to say goodbye before I gave her to the nurse. I knew I could stay but I didn't know what else to do.
I wish I took pictures of Bryan saying his last goodbye.
I wish I would have cut some of her hair.
Most of all, I wish she was here. Plain and simple.

[SophiesWings]

So many wishes that I don't know where to begin...

I wish that I had never moved you from the recliner onto the floor;
I wish that I had known you weren't safe 3 feet away from the tv;
I wish that our landlord had gotten the hardwood floor fixed when it got water-damaged;
I wish that I had insisted that your daddy put the tv in the sturdier tv stand when we moved in the month earlier;
I wish that we had known that tvs should be tethered to the wall;
I wish I had known that the light of my soul was about to die;
I wish your sisters hadn't seen you die;
I pray that you didn't feel any pain;
I wish your injuries hadn't been so horrible.. I can't get your face out of my mind;
I wish I had let you pass away in my arms instead of in the back of that ambulance being transferred to another hospital;
I wish I had held you for longer after they told me you had passed;
I wish that I had more pictures of you but I didn't want to put you down;
I wish you knew how much I love you my darling!

[Jaydensmom]

I wish that I had dressed him, and diapered him.
I wish I could remember more of the details from that night with him.
I wish that I would have said something when I didn't feel him move as much.
I wish I had a family photo with my son and daughter in it together.
I wish that he was here, and I wasn't a member of this forum.

[MayaAngel]

I wish that I had asked the hospital if my two little girls could see their sister-just ONCE
I wish I would have held her at the funeral home before we got her cremated
I wish I could have gotten a picture of my Grandmother holding her great-granddaughter: they share the same birthday
I wish I would have let Christine take pictures of her after she died
I wish I would have been strong enough to tell my MIL to leave when she was rude to me.
I wish I would have seen you with your eyes open
I wish I would have sang to you instead of hummed because we had no privacy
Most of all, I wish I hadn't taken that pill to induce me.
I wish the nurses would've listened to me when I told them I was in too much pain
BUT
I'm glad she waited for me so I could see her
I'm glad I got two awesome weeks with her
I'm glad I got to hold you while you breathed
I'm glad I got to tell you I loved you while you were still here
I'm glad you responded to us, if only by heartbeat
I'm glad I got to hold you as you left us to be with God

[Shannon Dambrosi]

My list
I Wish i had new what was happning to her
I Wish i had been abel to spend more time with her
I Wish i had sang to her more
I wiah i could of heard her cry
Ashley Ann's Daddy's list
I wish i could of seen her smile
I Wish i told her i loved her more
i Wish i could of heard her cry
I wish i had been able to give her a bath
MY List
I am happy i put her in maching close as her cuzien
I am happy i took lots of pitchers
I am happy i let her lison to music wile in my tummy
I am to have sang to her wile holding her
Ashley Ann's Daddy's List
I am happy of how cute she was
I am happy for the time i got to spend with her he
I am happy of how when i layed my head on Shannon's tummy how she always kicked me

[Laine]

When I was first told that Baby Jennifer had passed, I left the hospital and refused to be induced. I insisted on a second opinion. In the meantime, I did a little research & came across an article where one mommy had listed what she wished she had done, so when I did go back in (although, I was certain that she was ok and that they were wrong), when they told me she was gone, that article came to mind. I remember stripping baby Jen naked to look for anything and everything so that I could remember every inch of her. But here is my lists...

I wish...
I wish that as soon as they showed me the u/s and I accepted that she was gone, that I had called Chris and begged him to find childcare for his son or so that he could at least have come to the hospital as soon as possible.

I wish that Chris had gotten to see her, hold her, touch her. Just to know her.

I wish that Chris & I hadn't gotten into an arguement the night before.

I wish that I had insisted on an induction the 2x earlier that the hospital kicked me off of the list.

I wish that I had no skipped an induction when they were willing to 'fit me in'. (I will never forgive myself, I know that she would be here with me had I gone in).

I wish that her blanket wasn't losing her smell.

I wish that I had found a local NILMDTS photographer to come in.

I wish I had been a better mommy while pregnant & been less stressed.

I wish that I had gone to the funeral home to hold you one last time before your cremation.

I wish she was here with me and never had to stay in heaven.

I AM GLAD...

I'm glad that I sent you to heaven with pictures of me, your daddy, your brothers and sisters.

I'm glad that I stripped you naked and found your birthmark.

I'm glad that I changed your clothes & diaper and kissed your sweet baby feet.

I'm glad that I sent you to heaven with an American & Danish flag to celebrate your heritage.

I'm glad that I got to hold you almost all night.

I'm glad that the funeral director personally picked you up from me at the hospital and was someone that has sadly experienced this.

I'm glad that I stayed at the hospital with you until the funeral director came to pick you up.

I'm glad for the nine months that we had with you growing inside of me.

I'm glad that your daddy and I have maternity pictures together.

I'm glad that although you may have been unplanned, you were created out of love and deeply wanted.

I'm glad that your daddy gave you to me.

I'm glad most of all Jennifer Anne Hope that YOU chose your daddy and I to be your parents. We were so blessed to have you in our life even if it was all in my tummy time. And you will always be missed, loved and wanted. ~Mommy

[jandk4]

I am thankful:
That we have lots of pictures of Paige with our family.
The hospital let us spend 2 1/2 days just holding Paige.
We held her for an hour before she was buried.
Both of my boys were able to see her, hold her, and kiss her.

I wish:
We had more time with Paige and that she was here now.
She was alive for even a moment so that I could look into her eyes to tell her how much I love her.
She would have grown up and got to laugh at her older brothers.
Her brothers could have seen her grow up.