PDA

View Full Version : Our Family Story



Jordan
01-22-2007, 10:58 PM
Tim and I started down the road of having a family in March of 2000. Once we went off of pill my period stopped for 9 months. We couldn't figure out why. I was not pregnant. Then my doctor sent us to a fertility specialist.
The specialist started me on Clomiphene and the second month I got pregnant! We were so excited. I had a HCG level done and it was 99. The following day they checked my level and it was 105. Since the level was not going up fast enough they said I was going to miscarry.
So when I started miscarrying I was in a lot of pain. I went to see the fertility doctor to see if this was normal and he said by the symptoms it sounded like an ectopic pregnancy. So I went to the ER and I had an ultrasound to confirm an ectopic pregnancy. They did an emergency surgery. While they did the surgery the dr. said that there were a lot of clots. A few days later they check my HCG level it should have been back to zero but it was 5,000. They missed the pregnancy. The dr. recommended Methatraxate (spelling?) shots. The first one failed and the second seemed to help. That night I passed a large clot and was in a lot of pain. I thought that was the pregnancy. I went to the ER; they did an ultrasound and found that I still had a tubal pregnancy. A fallopian tube should be 1/2 millimeter and mine was 5 cm. I lost my right tube.
Once we started trying again we went back down the road of using Clomiphene. Each month they did a day 3 and 13 ultrasound. One of the months they said I ovulated on the right (side without a tube) and said see you next month. During that month I had a pain one night that felt like someone went up inside of me and turned my insides around. As the weeks went by I realized that I had not gotten a period so we did a test. I was pregnant! The dr. said that the night I had bad pain was the left tube going over to catch the egg on the right side. Our due date February 3rd and we were so excited. The pregnancy went somewhat smooth. I was put on bed rest for a short time because of some bleeding. Towards the end toxemia set in and I was induced on January 18, 2003. I made it to 5 cementers dilated and they had to do emergency c-section. Alexander Nicolai Israels was born January 18th, 2003, at 4:54pm - on my brothers birthday!
When Alex was 7 weeks old he had a reflux induced apnea spell. He turned purple while Tim was feeding him his bottle. Thank God it happened while Tim was holding. How many times had we feed him and put him into his crib and not think anything of it. It could have happened anytime. We called 911 and he was taken to Children’s Hospital where he stayed for 22 days and came home on a heart monitor and feeding tube. His reflux was that when he swallowed the flap in the throat didn’t cover the trachea fast enough everything went into his lungs and aspirated. He used a feeding tube for a few months. Now he is as ‘normal’ as a 4yr old can be with some upper respiratory problems.
Summer of 2005 we did insemination and miscarried. We gave up. We decided got rid of the crib and a few other things. 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We were so surprised. We looked at each other and said ‘how did that happen?’ My due date was Dec. 17, 2006.
In July of 2006, we went in for a routine ultrasound and found some red flags. We did the fish test. It came back 1 out of 3 for Trisomy 18. So we did an amniocentesis. The amniocentesis came back that our little girl had Triploidy 69XXX. We were devastated. Our whole world came crashing down. I couldn’t believe it. Our miracle baby girl was not going to make it. Why? We have read that Triploidy is rare and that it is .1% of happening in any pregnancy.
We didn’t know when things were going to ‘happen’. My dr. said that it she could go anytime. If she made it to birth it was a matter of hours. My dr. has been an OB/GYN for over 20 yrs and this was his first case of Triploidy confirmed during a pregnancy. All of his other cases were confirmed after a D&C.
On Nov. 7th, 2006, I started contracting. I went to the dr. to see if there was a heartbeat. They could not find one. They sent me to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital at 2:10pm and things went so fast. Jordan Nicole Israels was born into Heaven at 3:39pm. She was 1 lb 5 oz and 14 inches long. Her visual birth defects were spina bifida and extra fluid on the brain.
With our whole devastating journey with Jordan we were so blessed in so many ways. We have found blessing that I did not labor for a long time and she did not suffer. With mixed blessing that we didn’t have to say ‘goodbye’ to her if she were alive. Yes, we would have loved to spend time with her alive but letting go would have been even harder. The worst part was leaving the hospital without her. I still tear up thinking about leaving her there.
We were so blessed that Heather from NILMDTS came and took beautiful pictures of Jordan for us. We may not have Jordan but we have pictures to cherish and share with others.
Jordan was cremated. My grandmother had a stillborn baby about 50 years ago. That baby was buried in the alley next to my grandmother grave and Jordan will be added directly on top of the baby. We felt that was so fitting. It is a blessing that she will not be buried alone in a cemetery somewhere without family.
Now we are trying to heal. I have physically healed but emotionally it is going to be a long road for us. We are so thankful for our supportive family and friends. We are also very thankful for NILMDTS.
We have felt devasted, discouraged, heartbroken and oddly enough blessed all at once.

marylouise
01-23-2007, 11:12 AM
Kim,
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Hugs,
Mary Louise

anr0014
01-23-2007, 11:34 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. Reading your story, I can hear the pain in your words. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
-Mandy

Cheryl Haggard
01-23-2007, 02:58 PM
Thank you for sharing your story. (I know that I thank each and every person on this forum that opens their heart) You allow us to see into your heart, you give a piece of it to each and every one of us here that share in your heartache. To know that we are not alone...
Our physical scars will heal, our hearts will not. Don't get me wrong, days will get better, life will get better, our hearts will 'mend' but there will always be that chance that our 'mended' heart will rip wide open again, at anytime and without notice. And our futures that we have lost, is alive again, and the pain is so real. And that is ok. Here, among all of you, is where we can share the stories of our children, seek the support that we need from people who actually 'get it.'
You seem to be an incredible woman, an honest woman. Thank you for sharing your beautiful Jordan with us.

Blessings,
Cheryl

Rayna'
01-23-2007, 03:29 PM
thank you for sharing your story...your life....

tinantravis
01-24-2007, 11:08 AM
Kim,
Thanks for sharing Jordan's story with your family here at NILMDTS. I hope you can find support here. As you all walk down our own paths of healing, we find strength in one another as well as in our children who have passed before us. You're right about feeling devastated and blessed all at the same time...I think we can all relate. I feel blessed to know you and your baby Jordan. Thanks for sharing. Take care and God bless!