Scott Hays
01-02-2006, 12:32 PM
So how's it going? First of all, to those of you in Colorado, I'm jealous, CU is picking up our football coach. It's going to be hard to replace him. Don't think we can replace him, but we'll see how we do without him. Football in Boise won't be the same. HUGE winning record. A lot of records in the NCAA. I've just depressed myself thinking about it.
You know, when we had Zach, almost a year after we had Lindsey, I thought that we would somehow "replace" Lindsey. It just didn't work. I hadn't stopped thinking of Lindsey in that year, and although Zach gave me a new focus, I still thought about Lindsey a lot. I can remember trying to put Lindsey in the back of my mind, almost like it didn't happen at times, especially before Zach was born, and she kept coming to the front of my thoughts. Looking back now, I think having dealt with Lindsey and having accepted her death, I would have been a little better off. It took a lot of energy to try to hide those feelings.
There are to many things that we can try to replace our children with. Work, spending money, alcohol and many other things that are to many to mention. If you find yourself acting in ways you didn't before, you may be trying to replace what you don't have. And you may have (gulp,I'm going to say it) a little depression as well. You may be having a little trouble dealing with your childs death if you think you are or not.
So talking about your child may be a little bit better than putting their memory in the back of your mind. It will come in time, and you'll know when you're ready. When it's time though, just don't fight it.
Just a thought from a dad. Have a great New Year. Go Buffs! No, Boise Bronco's, No CU Buffs, I'm so confused...
You know, when we had Zach, almost a year after we had Lindsey, I thought that we would somehow "replace" Lindsey. It just didn't work. I hadn't stopped thinking of Lindsey in that year, and although Zach gave me a new focus, I still thought about Lindsey a lot. I can remember trying to put Lindsey in the back of my mind, almost like it didn't happen at times, especially before Zach was born, and she kept coming to the front of my thoughts. Looking back now, I think having dealt with Lindsey and having accepted her death, I would have been a little better off. It took a lot of energy to try to hide those feelings.
There are to many things that we can try to replace our children with. Work, spending money, alcohol and many other things that are to many to mention. If you find yourself acting in ways you didn't before, you may be trying to replace what you don't have. And you may have (gulp,I'm going to say it) a little depression as well. You may be having a little trouble dealing with your childs death if you think you are or not.
So talking about your child may be a little bit better than putting their memory in the back of your mind. It will come in time, and you'll know when you're ready. When it's time though, just don't fight it.
Just a thought from a dad. Have a great New Year. Go Buffs! No, Boise Bronco's, No CU Buffs, I'm so confused...