Heather Frackiewicz
03-04-2007, 11:54 AM
I don't post a lot here (mostly cause I haven't done many NILMDTS sessions) but today is the 8th anniversary of the day my son died.
He was born February 21, 1999 at 25w3d gestation. He was the firstborn of triplets - the doctors were able to perform a miracle and stop delivery of the other two for 5 days. Nicholas developed NEC on February 27 and needed surgery. He never recovered after the surgery, but just got worse. The doctors told us they could keep him on life support, but he was only suffering and he wasn't going to get better. We decided to take him off the machines and spend time holding him until he died.
He is the reason I signed up with NILMDTS. The only photos I have of him are a few polaroids the nurses took before he got sick. I saw him once before he got sick, since I was on bedrest keeping the other two in. By the time I was able to go down to the NICU, he was in bad shape. The nurse had wheeled me past his isolette on my way back upstairs from the delivery room to the antepartum ward, but I didn't get to spend any time with him at all. I have some photos taken by the nurses after he died. He looks horrible - the nurses did what they could, but they don't have the time or expertise to make a baby look better when they look pretty bad to start with. I can't look at those photos, because he looks so awful. My surviving triplets ask about him and want to see photos, but I don't think they are ready to see their brother looking like that. So by doing NILMDTS sessions, I hope I can save some other family the pain of not having any beautiful memories they can be proud to share, rather than scared to share with anyone.
He was born February 21, 1999 at 25w3d gestation. He was the firstborn of triplets - the doctors were able to perform a miracle and stop delivery of the other two for 5 days. Nicholas developed NEC on February 27 and needed surgery. He never recovered after the surgery, but just got worse. The doctors told us they could keep him on life support, but he was only suffering and he wasn't going to get better. We decided to take him off the machines and spend time holding him until he died.
He is the reason I signed up with NILMDTS. The only photos I have of him are a few polaroids the nurses took before he got sick. I saw him once before he got sick, since I was on bedrest keeping the other two in. By the time I was able to go down to the NICU, he was in bad shape. The nurse had wheeled me past his isolette on my way back upstairs from the delivery room to the antepartum ward, but I didn't get to spend any time with him at all. I have some photos taken by the nurses after he died. He looks horrible - the nurses did what they could, but they don't have the time or expertise to make a baby look better when they look pretty bad to start with. I can't look at those photos, because he looks so awful. My surviving triplets ask about him and want to see photos, but I don't think they are ready to see their brother looking like that. So by doing NILMDTS sessions, I hope I can save some other family the pain of not having any beautiful memories they can be proud to share, rather than scared to share with anyone.