An Expectant Father

[Mike Dolny]

I'm expecting a lot. In August, 2006 my wife and I found out she was pregnant. We weren't expecting that. In September, we found out we were having twins. We weren't expecting that. In November, we went for an ultrasound, hoping to find out boys or girls. Instead, we found out one of our babies had died. We weren't expectiing that. The week before Christmas, we were told that our surviving daughter has no kidneys. We weren't expecting that. We have been told that our daughter won't live very long after she is born. We weren't expecting that. We have begun planning for our daughter's birth and death. We weren't expecting this. I have spoken to all of the doctors who may be with us before, during and after delivery. I wasn't expecting that. I have spoken with a funeral director about arrangements for my daughter. I wasn't expecting that. We have found a perinatal Hospice program. We weren't expecting that. We have found support from "strangers" on forums. We weren't expecting that. There are hundreds of people who have prayed for us. We weren't expecting that. The day my daughter is born, my embrace, my kiss, my love and my tears will carry us foward through our lives. I'm expecting that.

>>>Molly was born on March 14, 2007 at 5:26am. At 33 weeks, she was 4lbs, 15oz. She visited with us until 6:41am. She was beautiful!!!!

[Lindzy Foster]

Mike i am so sorry...my heart just breaks when i read your posts...im sorry for the loss of your first daughter and for the loss that is coming...im thinking of your precious little girls and praying for you and your wife...im so glad that you are finding some comfort here..i know i have, our daughter Kaydence would have been 7 weeks old today and i think about what we would be doing if she had made it through her surgeries...she has been gone 5 weeks and 5 days but the pain is so intense some days it is hard to find strength to get through but you are right the love and support of your family and friends help you to do that...and i want to thank you for sharing your feelings so freely with us...my fiancee Darin is having a hard time dealing with his grief, hiding it from others and I am worried about him...he was raised not to share his feelings with others to just hold them in, but i think that seeing you sharing on this forum may give him the courage to do so as well, so thank you and and you are in our prayers...
Lindzy

[Julie*B]

Mike,
You have such a way with words, especially when placed in a situation where words really become so meaningless. I hope you get my drift. Thank you for sharing. It's so nice to see more and more men speak from their hearts. My heart aches every time I hear of a new loss, but that goes with the territory here. Please continue to use NILMDTS as a resource for your grieving. Thanks for sharing and God bless.
Julie
www.emmakatespage.blogspot.com (http://www.emmakatespage.blogspot.com)

[Scott Hays]

Mike,
Thank you for sharing your story here. I'm glad you have found us. It never makes anything any easier to know before hand, or to have it happen suddenly. I'm not sure which would be harder.
I just had a session with a young gal who knows her child will not live much past birth, and we decided to start with a maternity session, and then she will call me when she goes into labor. It's hard sometimes to make those decisions, hard to make those arrangements, hard to do all those things you never thought you would have to do. In talking with the gal I'm going through this with, she talked about the same concerns.
Mike, keep coming back to this forum. I lost my Lindsey almost 21 years ago now, and this group of wonderful people has made it possible for me to accept my loss. Start now, and don't let it build up inside of you. Talk to us. If you would like, e-mail me directly, and we can talk man to man. Boy that sure sounded sexist didn't it? I'll catch it for sure on that one. We do grieve differently sometimes. There are things we feel that our wives don't, so let me know if you need to talk.
Mike, we'll be thinking of you. My heart goes out to you, Make sure you take care of yourself at this point.

Scott

[marylouise]

Scott, here's your pass. You are truly giving of yourself. Men and women do grieve differently.
Mike, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm so glad you said you have photographers standing by, when I first read your story I saw you live on Long Island my daughter lives there also. I was going to tell you if you didn't find a photographer that I would come down from RI to photograph your family.
I'm glad that you find comfort here,know that alot of love and prayers are being sent your way.
Hugs

[Mike Dolny]

Molly was born on March 14th at 5:26am and visited with us until 6:41am. It was a most amaizing hour and fifteen minutes!! Thank you Molly, for being strong enough to allow us to meet you, hold you, and kiss you. My expectations are still strong. Please help me, my sweet angel.

[Scott Hays]

Mike,
I'm so grateful that you had such a wonderful opportunity to hold that precious little Molly and to feel her breaths.
You already know that we're here for all of you, and hopefully you'll be able to post some pictures of your little angel soon.

You're a wonderful father Mike.

[linda]

Amen to that! Your amazing and we are blessed to have you here to share these things with us!!

[marylouise]

Mike, I'm sorry for your loss. You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sure Molly is watching over your family.
Hugs

[justins_dad]

Mike, your post is so true. My son Justin was born into Heaven on 5/4/08 at 5:44 pm, 4 lbs, 14 oz and 26 inches long. He had no kidneys which as you know is termed Potters Syndrome. I understand the severe pain you are feeling, and there are days when it's easier and days when you just wish you could go be with your baby, but you know your here for a reason. My wife and I are expecting again, so we are praying that all goes better this time. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers. Molly was just a little over a year old when Justin went to Heaven, I can only imagine how they must be up there. I feel such pain for other's who have had to experience this pain. My wife and I have found many wonderful support systems, please contact me if you would like some information.

[Lisa Kammel]

Thanks for sharing your story. It is so nice to hear from dads. There are 3 posts right now from a father in the " New Posts"