Serenity's mommy
04-26-2007, 10:06 AM
When will I be able to look at a pregnant woman and not let it bother me?
When will I stop crying when I talk about it?
When will it get better?
When will I be able to walk past the baby clothes section in a store?
When will I be able to look at a baby and not feel my crushing loss?
When will I stop wishing that God would have taken me along with my baby?
When will God make me whole again?
When will the sadness fade from my eyes?
When will I realize that other people have problems too and know that those are important problems to them?
When will I not feel like smacking someone when they say that the worst thing that ever happened to them was over something material? (Really, you had your semi repossessed and it was a crushing blow and the worst thing that ever happened to you? Geez, aren't you lucky? Do you have any idea what a REAL LOSS is? Do you cry yourself to sleep over it? Can you never look at a semi again? Does it make you want to throw up and tell that semi driver that he is the luckiest person and that he should be careful not to get too excited about it because you never know what could happen?)
When will this dam finally break? Slowly it has leaks here and there but I fix them in time so that the whole thing doesn't fall down.
Will I ever stop being angry about it?
Will I ever stop looking at parents that can't/don't take care of their kids and thinking what in God's name makes you worthy?
I guess I'm just hitting a rough patch and yet again I need to get it together because in 15 minutes I need to be in class with 23 8 year olds and pretend that I want to be here instead of at home, in bed, in the dark, dying.
When will I stop crying when I talk about it?
When will it get better?
When will I be able to walk past the baby clothes section in a store?
When will I be able to look at a baby and not feel my crushing loss?
When will I stop wishing that God would have taken me along with my baby?
When will God make me whole again?
When will the sadness fade from my eyes?
When will I realize that other people have problems too and know that those are important problems to them?
When will I not feel like smacking someone when they say that the worst thing that ever happened to them was over something material? (Really, you had your semi repossessed and it was a crushing blow and the worst thing that ever happened to you? Geez, aren't you lucky? Do you have any idea what a REAL LOSS is? Do you cry yourself to sleep over it? Can you never look at a semi again? Does it make you want to throw up and tell that semi driver that he is the luckiest person and that he should be careful not to get too excited about it because you never know what could happen?)
When will this dam finally break? Slowly it has leaks here and there but I fix them in time so that the whole thing doesn't fall down.
Will I ever stop being angry about it?
Will I ever stop looking at parents that can't/don't take care of their kids and thinking what in God's name makes you worthy?
I guess I'm just hitting a rough patch and yet again I need to get it together because in 15 minutes I need to be in class with 23 8 year olds and pretend that I want to be here instead of at home, in bed, in the dark, dying.