A little extra prayer please....

[Jordan]

About two months ago I wrote in a thread that I was having an EEG and MRI done because of peti mal seizures and headaches. I got the results back shortly after that and my doctor said that everything looked fine and stress was triggering it. His advice was to live stress free. How do you do that? I don’t know. But as time has gone by the headaches are getting better. Why? Maybe life was settling down? Today marks 26 Tuesdays - 6 months since I had Jordan. I am guessing that with time passing my life is finding a new ‘normal’. I have had 2 peti mals since then but I know what triggered them. So I am watching, picking and choosing what to stress over. I have a new outlook on my life since we figured out the trigger of the peti mals. Life is too short to stress over the things I was stressing over.

A new happy stress! Tim and I found out last Thursday that we are expecting. We are so overjoyed, excited, happy, scared, nervous, overwhelmed all at the same time. We are so surprised that it even happened with everything we have gone through. My doctor is keeping a close eye on me. This week I will have my HCG levels checked again (1st HCG level was 11,000). Next week an ultrasound followed by an appointment with my doctor. We are still trying to figure out how far along I am. We are hoping that the ultrasound will help find a due date. We are thinking I am about 6 or 7 weeks along. The nurse said that the HCG level is not matching up to how many weeks along they think I am. She said that the level is very high. So what does that mean for us? Hopefully more answers next week.

This is wonderful news but I am concerned about the stress level. Finding out we are pregnant with all we have been through trying to have a family is very overwhelming. My neurologist upped my medicine dose just to be safe. I know that I will have my seizure medicine level checked each month. I can’t help but to worry about the outcome of the pregnancy. Will this baby make it? Will this baby be healthy? What are we up against? I am trying to relax and just remember that it is in God’s hands. I have to accept his plans. I know I am suppose to turn my worries over to him. Easier said then done.

[Brooke]

Hi Kim,

Congratulations, How exciting but scary all at the same time. I'm in sorta of the same boat as you are right now. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our fourth child. The only difference is that my health is fine, other then the normal stress of pregnancy after a loss. The emotions that you are feeling right now are very normal given what we have both experienced over the past 6 months. I'll send some extra prayers your way for a safe and happy ending to this pregnancy and to your health. I pray all goes well for you and your family. It sounds like you've had a rough time with expanding your family, it's time for peace and comfort to come your way. Take care.

Love,
Brooke- Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Tasha Nicholls]

Wow, Kim!!! Congratulations!

I hope that everything goes well so you can have as stress-free pregnancy as possible, given the circumstances. You are right... like so many things in life, it is easier said than done.

*HUGS*
Tasha

[marylouise]

Kim and Brooke, Congratulations. I will keep both of you in my prayers. I hope that you both enjoy special time of your life.
Hugs

[Cheryl Haggard]

Jordan, Congratulations.
You and Tim will be in my thoughts and prayers...

How are you feeling Brooke?

[Lyssa Sauer]

Jordan Congradulations! I will send my prayer to you and your family in hopes that you have a safe and better pregnacy. I can imagine what you or anyone else who get pregnant after lossing a child must feel. I myself am scared of getting pregnant again but we are only giving it about a year and if nothing happens then we are fixing the problem. Leaving things in Gods hand is sometimes a little stressful in itself. Prayers are with you. Lyssa

[Lindzy Foster]

Congrats Kim and Brooke!

Praying that everything goes well for both of you!

[Brooke]

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for asking how I'm doing. I'm doing fine. Nervous but fine. Two weeks from today, May 23rd I have my 20 week U.S and am getting a little nervous for that, I just want to get a good report back. I know that even after that U.S I will still worry, but at least that will be one hurdle out of the way. You see that is when we learned in Emma's pregnancy all of the problems with our little angel and that she would not live. So it is kind of a bittersweet time for us, brings back many sad memories. So happy thoughts and prayers on May 23rd are more than welcome for us. It was so great to meet you in MN a few weeks ago. I had a great time. Thanks to everyone else on this thread that have sent well wishes for myself and Kim's pregnancies. The support is greatly needed!!

Love,

Brooke- Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Jordan]

Brooke I agree about being nervous about the 20 U.S. That is when we found out about Jordan having triploidy. Tim always said I slept best that night after my appts. Today I called the clinic to find out my HCG level and it had doubled. I am relieved to hear that the levels are going up. But now it is hurry up and wait until Monday 8am to have my ultrasound to find a heartbeat, a due date and see my doctor. I do have a good distraction this weekend. I am going on a scrapbooking retreat in Spooner, WI (log cabin - so excited!) to finish Jordan's book. I want to have this book done before we do her service on June 16th.

I agree with you Brooke - Thanks to everyone for all the support and continued support. Thinking and praying for you on May 23rd.
Kim

[Brooke]

Hi Kim,

Good luck to you on Monday. I know that Monday can't come fast enough. I feel the same way with May 23rd. I hope that you find out some exciting and comforting news at your U.S and Dr.appt on Monday. Have a great time this weekend with your scrapbooking retreat. Sounds like fun. I'll be thinking of you!!!

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Art]

Kim, my wife's best friend made it through a normal pregnancy while battling seizures, bipolar disorder and lots of med changes. With proper medication, it can be done! Her daughter, Makenzie, is perfect...

[Jessi Hill]

I too just found out I am pregnant. (sort of planned since we did use donor) but super scary none the less... I feel like I am a wreck! I try not to think about it too much, I am so nervous because I have lost 5 to m/c and Tristan to Trisomy 9... it is so nerve racking... I will pray for the two of you.
I have an u/s in a couple of weeks to see how things are going, but I am only about 5 weeks along. I have the history of m/c at 9 1/2 weeks gestation. I feel I have to get past my first trimester to calm myself a little.... but it is going so slow. I also have the added stress of my beautiful 1 year old adopted daughter and my 8 year old foster daughter, so far the older one does not know... and I am scared to tell her yet. We did tell family and my MIL didn't seem to be supportive of us telling anyone with our history- well excuse me for thinking I may need support!
Keep us posted on how you are both doing and Good luck with everything.
(((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

Well congratulations!!! I will be praying for you that this little baby will stick with you for your entire pregnancy and be a happy healthy baby at the end of 9 months. Good luck to you at your U.S. Keep us updated on how the pregnancy is continuing. It is nice to be able to share and support eachother during this happy yet stressful time in our lives.

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Cheryl Haggard]

Jessi...
WWWOOOHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

[Lindzy Foster]

Congrats Jessi! Congrats to all of you!

[marylouise]

Jessi,how wonderful, I'm adding you to my prayers for the moms-to -be.
Hugs

[Marirosa]

Congratulations on the news.... I pray that you have a good pregnancy and will keep you and Brooke who's also expecting in my prayers.
Marirosa

[Jessi Hill]

Well I got good news yesterday... I had my progesterone tested and the levels needed to be mid 20's to go off my med. and they were at 49!!! So she said that was wonderful and that I don't need to take the supplimentary prometrium anymore. They think the low progesterone has contributed to my m/c's in the past. So now it is just the waiting game and trying to find summer close that fit. LOL (kindda put things in perspective of why when I figured out I have been pregnant now 7 times! it just seems sureal to me, and that is all in the past 5 years!- sounds bad! LOL)
Thanks fo rthe thoughts and prayers... I'll keep you posted!

[marylouise]

great news Jessi, just in time for Mothers Day.
Hugs

[Jordan]

Happy Mother's Day!! It is amazing how Mother's Day is so bitter sweet for me since we had Jordan. Alex is such a blessing, Jordan is a blessing even though she is not with us on earth and then to be blessed with this surprising pregnancy.

Well....my appt is tomorrow morning. I am so nervous, excited and stressed. I can't wait to find some anwers to our questions, concerns, and see my OB/GYN. My neurologist told me to keep the stress level done. I am trying. I don't want to trigger a peti mal or grand mal. I did pretty well this weekend. I had a great relaxing time at the retreat finishing Jordan's scrapbook. It was not easy to do emotional but good healing. It was nice to get away from life and 'hide'. I went with my neighbor and I didn't know the others (8 women and 3 teens). As I talked to other women there I came across a mom that had a set of twins. One lived 4 hours and the other one is now 6 years old. She was great comfort to share my story and hear hers. Brooke how far away is Balwin from Spooner, WI. The log cabin was so beautiful and a great get away. I don't know if you scrapbook but it is worth going to. We made reservations for next year.
Jessi congratulation!! I pray that all goes smooth for you and Brooke. I know hurry up and wait is so stressful. I hope you feel the comfort from everyone here as I have. Thank you to everyone. It is much needed right now.

Tim called me while I was at the retreat to talk to me about a letter we got in the mail. It was from the funeral home in Ashland. They sent a picture of Jordan's headstone that is now in place. The picture is beautiful. Maybe that sounds odd but it is beautiful. We only did a simple headstone. My parents went out to see it and my Mom brought flowers to place there. How comforting that was to me.

[Brooke]

Hi Kim,

To answer you question,Spooner from Baldwin is probably about 3-4 hours away. No I don't scrapebook, never have. I guess I do to an extent, but kinda just do my own thing. I'm glad you had a relaxing time at your retreat in Spooner. I can't wait to hear how your doctors appt went this morning. I'm praying for all good news for you and your family. Please keep us all informed. I have 9 days to wait until my U.S, I'm getting more nervous by the day. One exciting thing is on Saturday afternoon, I did feel my baby move for the first time. I want it to move all the time now, so I know that he/she is o.k. I can't wait to hear that we are hopefully carrying a healthy baby. I'll keep you in my prayers that you are also carrying a healthy baby as well. Take care.

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[jaiew]

congrat and good luck your in my thoughts

[Jordan]

This morning we had our US to find a due date and have a profile blood work done. There is a heartbeat and it is beating just fine. My due date is 1/5/08. I am 6 weeks 2 days along. I had a very long appt with my dr. My doctor is wonderful and he happens to be a distant cousin (can joke with him!=) I told him he better plan his vacations around me! He laughed. Anyways.. he wants to have an US during the 14th week and 20th week. He wanted to do the 14th week one to ease my anxiety. He suggested it not me. That comforted me to know that he was thinking of that. He has offered to order up tests to see what red flags we could have but come on...Jordan was .1% chance of having Triploidy. I'll pass. I want to see what the next ultrasounds look like and then see if there is anything to get more worried about. I have enough to worry about right now. I don't want to add to it with a certain percent of certain problems/birth defects and have to sit thinking about that.

Thanks everyone for thinking/praying for Brooke, Jessi and me. I know we all need it.
I am so excited for you Brooke that you felt the baby moving!! Thinking of you with your ultrasound.

I forgot to add this to the last post. Besides having the picture of Jordan's headstone in the mail we also recieved our certificate of recognition of stillborn birth. That was a lot for one weekend.

Kim

[Jessi Hill]

Kim... I just realized we are only 10 days apart. My due date will be 1-15-08!!
I know since I know EXACTLY when this happened (donor) LOL It will be helpful to have someone on here to talk to abou thtings. I am still nervous, and trying to be optimistic. I don't feel very good, but I am not puking either... so I guess that is a good sign!?!?! They tell me so anyway. Good luck with your future US and carrying that healthy baby to term! I will stay in touch and pray for you as well... You deserve it!!! I agree with you about the testing... I am not planning to take any testing either at this point.

Brooke- When is your due date? It is so exiting to feel that first movement... I hope he/ she is an active one for you so you are able to relax a little. Let us know how everything goes. Your in my prayers as well to deliver a healthy baby!

Take care of yourselves!!!! I have to wait til next Friday for my US (didn't want to have to take off work) so I will update you more then.

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

My Due date is October 10th, 2007 which just happens to be our angel Emma's first Heaven B-Day. The day I found out we were expecting this baby was on February 2, 2007 which was Emma's original due date. I sure hope these two coincidences with dates are good omens sent down from our Angel Emma up in heaven. I hope that he/she is a very active baby as well, you won't hear me complain, I want constant movement even if he/she keeps me up all night!!! I felt more definite movement late afternoon yesterday when I rested for 10 minutes, it is so exciting. I can't wait for you and Kim to get to this point in your pregnancies when you can feel the baby's first movements, it is so exciting yet scary all at the same time if that makes any sense. I think that they should start a new section on the forum for Expect Mother's to chat and share worries!!! Good luck to you Jessi. I hope all continues to go well for you and baby.

Love,
Brooke Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Lindzy Foster]

Congrats to all of you again, those have definately got to be good signs from Emma, Brooke....its just too much of a coincidence that the dates match....so glad you are feeling the movement! i always loved that no matter how much it kept me up too! i know alot of people who talk bout how miserable they were pregnant but for me even though i was extremely sick and had problems with all four it was wonderful for me, i loved being pregnant....Kim and Jessi, how exciting your due dates are 10 days apart! and i know the US will be a relief to see the baby i agree with you guys about the extra testing, no reason to worry yourselves more! Good luck all of you, praying for healthy happy pregnancy's!

[Brooke]

Hi to All,

I forgot to mention in my last post, that we had decided not to forgo any extra testing. Why worry yourself even more than we already are. Like a genetic counselor told us, you won't be satisfied until your holding in your arms a healthy full term baby after delievery. How true!!! The only thing we will have done is our scheduled U.S's and the normal blood work done at your first O.B visit. Thanks Lindzy, I like to think that about Emma too.

Love,
Brooke- Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Jessi Hill]

I started having a lot of pain last night and I still was in pain this morning and getting worse. I called the clinic and they had me come in. I had an US and they "think" the baby is where it should be in my uterus, and they don't think it is a tubal causing my pain. They found that I have ovarian cysts and at leat one that has burst. I am still pretty uncomfortable, and on pain meds back at home. I have another appt. on Friday to check on things. My cumulative HCG was good, but my progesterone levels have dropped from 49 to 13.3 so I need to go back on the prometrium meds to get it back up.
I am scared that I am going to lose this baby too...... Please pray for us! This is my last shot for another child.... I need all of the support I can get!
Thanks!
Jessi

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your medical problems. I hope that you get better quickly and get to keep your baby. I will be saying a special prayer just for you and your baby tonight!!! Keep us updated. Good luck.

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[marylouise]

Jessi, You're in my thoughts & Prayers.
Hugs

[jaiew]

jessi your in my thoughts

[Kirk Kief]

You know that I'm behind you 1000%, but, just in case, I'll double my prayers!

[Jordan]

Jessi...thinking and praying for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[Lindzy Foster]

jessi,

saying lots of prayers for you and this baby, hoping things go well on friday!

[Jessi Hill]

Thanks to all of you.... I feel a little better (so far) today. I hope I am able to go to work. I have about 6 monument etchings due in by monday! Memorial day rush I guess. I don't think they were happy when I wasn't there yesterday.
I will keep you all posted on what I find out Friday Morning. I am hoping that these crazy cysts will go away on their own and that I don't have anymore burst- man that hurts! I will let you know if they are able to tall me anything more about baby as well.... I just pray that baby is in fact in my uterus where they should be and growing normally.
Thanks again for your prayers and support!

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

Glad to hear that your feeling somewhat better. I'll be keeping you in my prayers again tonight, for a good report tomorrow from the doctors. I hope that the cysts go away and no more bursts for your sake. It sounds very painful. Good luck to you and your baby and please continue to keep us updated. I"ll be looking for you update tomorrow after your appointment.

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan,& Angel Emma

[Jessi Hill]

I went in today at 7:30 am and found out it was an etopic preg. they did EM surgery, I flipped out pulled my IV and even bolted before they could do it.... I tried to call Cheryl, I needed someone to talk to (only # in my cell from here).... the RN's were nasty and acted as if it was no big deal, they kept asking me to duplicate things like releases, they lost my chart and said it was at a nearby clinins I have never even been to.....and I freaked at the unorganization and bolted. I came back a couple hours later and they did do it.Only because I was scared I would bleed to death if I didn't. I just don't understand how they think someone should sit for that long to wait when their anxiety levels are so high and they have asked for pain meds and NOONE would give them to me. IT WAS AWFUL!!!! I didn't get into the OR til 3:30pm to put it in perspective/

I don't know when I will be on again.... I am just letting you know now. I don't really feel i can talk right now. but thank you for your prayers anyway.

[Tammy Councilman]

Jessi,

I know you don't know me but I want you to know you are in my prayers and my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I pray that God will comfort your heart and wrap His loving arms around you.

Tammy Councilman
Portrait Expressions
www.portraitexpressions.org (http://www.portraitexpressions.org)

[Lindzy Foster]

Jessi,

Im so sorry, i cant even put into words what i want to say, the words just arent adequate right now...i wish i could just wrap my arms around you and hug you tightly...it makes me so angry that they were so rude to you...how dare they treat you that way...please know im here if you want to talk and you can certainly put my number in your cell in case you do...712-899-2159
Sending thoughts and prayers and (((hugs)))
Lindzy

[jaiew]

jessi, im so sorry to hear that. i wish there was something i could say to help but i know that there are no words. please know that you are in my thoughts.

[Tasha Nicholls]

Oh, Jessi, I am so sorry. Man, that just bites.... :mad: :( :mad:

I wish I lived closer so I could come over and take Trinity and help out somehow. I hope you have some good friends/family out there to come take care of you and the kids.

**HUGS**

[marylouise]

Jessi, Sending you prayers and hugs.

[Lyssa Sauer]

Oh Jessi how very awful. I am sorry that you had to not only go thru another loss of a child but the people who are suppose to be helpful werent. You are in my thoughts and prayers as I hope God will send you the peace you need and the love you deserve.

[Jordan]

Jessi...I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I also had a tubal pregnancy (my experience is written in My Story - Our Family Story). It was not an easy thing to go through emotionally and physically. I hope you have someone you can lean on to help with your daughter. The recovery from the surgery is not easy. I lost my right tube. Please feel free to call me if you need to talk. 612-310-4997

You and your family are in my prayers.

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

I was devasted to read your post and get your update on your pregnancy. I am so very sorry that you had to experience yet another loss of a child. I'll continue to send prayers your way for a easy and speedy recovery and some great support from family and friends. Again, I'm so sorry for you. I wish that there was something more I could do for you.

Love,

Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Kirk Kief]

I know you won't read this, probably, for awhile. And, rightfully so. You need time to yourself. Just know that you have a lot of people here to lean on. A lot of people here that hold a special place in their hearts for you.
My prayers are for you, and your family. Come back with us, only when you are ready.

[linda]

Jessi,

My thoughts and prayers go out to you! I will be praying for you and your family. I am so sorry....

[Jordan]

Jessi...how are you doing? Thinking of you.
Kim

[Jessi Hill]

I guess depressed would sum it up.... I hurt inside and out... the surgery sucked, no one listened to me. My friends are few and most seem as if they don't care. My foster daughter acts as if nothing ever happened and has been really pushing my buttons (to the point I am unsure how much more I can handle) Trinity seems to know there is something wrong with mommy, but is still climbing all over me which really is hard. My husband is sick of me "biting his head off" about everything as are my mom and MIL. It is like they expect after being through so much I should just be able to roll with it and move on. This was "supposed" to be our last try.... I have already said it can't be, I have the need for another child somehow- I have to call the Dr. to do a follow up and find out what will be our best option. They took my right tube, did a D&C, lazered endometriosis (that I didn't even know I had).......... I just don't know why some of us have to suffer so much loss, I know I am not alone, but I sure feel like it.
Thanks for the prayers.

[Brooke]

Hi Jessi,

It is good to hear from you. I've been thinking of you lately. I'm so sorry. I just don't know what more to say. I wish there was something magical that I could give you to take away all the physical and emotional pain and agony away. Hang in there. Please know that you are being thought of and prayed for daily. Good luck to you with your recovery.

Love,
Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma

[Jessi Hill]

I figured I should update....
I had my follow up appt today and found out that my other tube looked fine and that she thinks I have a very good chance IF we decide to try again. My husband is scared of losing me because of the last two times being so bad. I am going to think on it for awhile, but did decide that if we do try we won't share with many (possibly not even family) until we are past the first 10-11 weeks.... or as long as I can hide it. They were talking about uping my med to create more eggs so I would have an even better chance of conceiving by donor (giving me 2-3 eggs) and watching the lining of my uterus very closely as well since clomid can affect that and make even fertilized eggs not implant.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
I also found out that the most likely cause of this tubal was endometriosis (which I never even knew I had) I just thought pain was part of the process of being female I guess. LOL If we don't try she advised me to go on some form of birth control to slow the endometriosis from growing rapidly.... to slow further issues.
So I guess it is good to have a few answers, but I am still scared and need support to figure out my way.
Thanks for everything guys!
Deb- Thanks for the card I received it yesterday! Means a lot to know I have friends everywhere.... I feel like I know someof you better than the friends I know face to face- I think it is easier to pour our feelings here.
I am so happy to have a place like this- THANKS CHERYL & Team who started this organization and take care of everything!
((((((HUGS)))))))))

[Janeice]

Jessi-
I wish there was some way that I could help you out, taking the kids off your hands for a while, or just even going for a nice long ride. I live in Superior, WI; the north shore is a nice beautiful getaway. Sending you a cyber hug is about the best I can do. Sorry for your loss, I grieve for you. (((((HUGS)))))
Janeice

[marylouise]

Jessi, sending you hugs

[tinantravis]

Jessi--
So sorry to read about all of this now. I'm so sorry for your loss. I, too, have been away from NILMDTS for far too long. Sometimes it's just too hard and brings it all back for me. I am so sorry for the pain. Life just keeps on hurting...
Take Care,
Tina