jaiew
05-10-2007, 02:21 PM
I lost my son Carey on April 30, 2007, he was 9 days old. Todd & I found out Carey was sick during our 20th week. He had a diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) & his stomach and intestines were in his chest. This is a condition that they don’t know a lot about it. The hospital I was at takes most of these babies in the state of Az, & NV they might see 15-20 a year. The Dr.’s explained that CDH outcomes are like flipping a coin, so they can't really give a prognosis of what will happen, & we’d just have to wait till he is born and go from there. So we talked with the surgeons & Dr.’s & tried to prepare ourselves for the worst.
On April 21, 2007, Carey decided it was time. During labor Carey’s heart rate kept dropping so I had a C-section. 5lb 8oz, 19 ¾ in. Now the thing with CDH the babies lungs don’t have room to grow so they have to vent them immediately. Knowing you wont be able to hold your baby after he is born is heartbreaking. I also kept wondering if I would ever hear him cry. Well we did get lucky, he cried 3 times. This is the only time my son ever cried. I wasn’t even out of recovery and the Dr. came in with bad news, he wasn’t doing as well as they had hoped. The nurses took me into the NyICU in my bed just so I could see him. I got a quick look right after he was born before they rushed him away, but this time I could really see him, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Later that night we got yet another visit from the Dr. and the surgeon, more bad news, they had to put Carey on ECMO that night. We got all our family to come in for a few days so they could meet him. On April 29, we got a call from his nurse and she told us his condition was getting worse. After all this, thinking that his lungs would be the biggest issue, his kidneys stopped working. We rushed up to the hospital and spent a few hours with him. Then came home and made the plan to spend all day on Monday with Carey. We knew what had to be done and it was the best for Carey. Monday, the worst day of my life, we went in and loved on him for hours. I must have kissed his little feet a couple hundred times. I just loved those big feet. They were 3 inches long, he got those from daddy. Then it came time to disconnect Carey. This would be the first time we got to hold our son, and I made sure that Todd and I were both holding him together as he passed. We franticly talked to him and told him we loved him, we were proud of him, and not to be scared. He passed on April 30, 2007 @ 12:14pm.
Ane Marie our photographer from nilmdts met us in the bereavement room following his passing and took some amazing photos. Then Todd and I placed Carey in the middle of the bed Todd on one side me on the other and just talked to him for hours. Then before we were ready to leave, I wrapped him in his Snoopy blanket and rocked him in the rocking chair. I’d been waiting so long to do that. Thinking of that moment always puts a smile on my face when nothing else can.
We laid Carey to rest on May 4.
When we found out about Carey, we both agreed not to buy anything, told friends not to send anything, no baby shower, didn’t even prepair a nursery, because if we lost him I didn’t want to have to see all that stuff. So the first outfit I bought for my son was the one I buried him in. That I do regret. His outfit is one little secret that Todd and I have with Carey, since we talked about everything else on Carey’s website. We had a little service where we had a photo, a balloon release, and Todd and I both wrote letters to him that were read out loud. I think he would have liked it. Sorry for the novel.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/careyniesen (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/careyniesen)
On April 21, 2007, Carey decided it was time. During labor Carey’s heart rate kept dropping so I had a C-section. 5lb 8oz, 19 ¾ in. Now the thing with CDH the babies lungs don’t have room to grow so they have to vent them immediately. Knowing you wont be able to hold your baby after he is born is heartbreaking. I also kept wondering if I would ever hear him cry. Well we did get lucky, he cried 3 times. This is the only time my son ever cried. I wasn’t even out of recovery and the Dr. came in with bad news, he wasn’t doing as well as they had hoped. The nurses took me into the NyICU in my bed just so I could see him. I got a quick look right after he was born before they rushed him away, but this time I could really see him, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Later that night we got yet another visit from the Dr. and the surgeon, more bad news, they had to put Carey on ECMO that night. We got all our family to come in for a few days so they could meet him. On April 29, we got a call from his nurse and she told us his condition was getting worse. After all this, thinking that his lungs would be the biggest issue, his kidneys stopped working. We rushed up to the hospital and spent a few hours with him. Then came home and made the plan to spend all day on Monday with Carey. We knew what had to be done and it was the best for Carey. Monday, the worst day of my life, we went in and loved on him for hours. I must have kissed his little feet a couple hundred times. I just loved those big feet. They were 3 inches long, he got those from daddy. Then it came time to disconnect Carey. This would be the first time we got to hold our son, and I made sure that Todd and I were both holding him together as he passed. We franticly talked to him and told him we loved him, we were proud of him, and not to be scared. He passed on April 30, 2007 @ 12:14pm.
Ane Marie our photographer from nilmdts met us in the bereavement room following his passing and took some amazing photos. Then Todd and I placed Carey in the middle of the bed Todd on one side me on the other and just talked to him for hours. Then before we were ready to leave, I wrapped him in his Snoopy blanket and rocked him in the rocking chair. I’d been waiting so long to do that. Thinking of that moment always puts a smile on my face when nothing else can.
We laid Carey to rest on May 4.
When we found out about Carey, we both agreed not to buy anything, told friends not to send anything, no baby shower, didn’t even prepair a nursery, because if we lost him I didn’t want to have to see all that stuff. So the first outfit I bought for my son was the one I buried him in. That I do regret. His outfit is one little secret that Todd and I have with Carey, since we talked about everything else on Carey’s website. We had a little service where we had a photo, a balloon release, and Todd and I both wrote letters to him that were read out loud. I think he would have liked it. Sorry for the novel.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/careyniesen (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/careyniesen)