BABY ANTHONY, We miss you!

[Estrella]

It was 4 weeks ago, June 3, 2007 that my son, Anthony Cubella Simmons, Jr. was taken away from his loving family. I was 39 weeks pregnant when we lost him. I went to the hospital to give birth to a healthy baby boy...when we arrived we learned we were having an angel instead. I heard his heartbeat strong, just 4 days prior and felt him moving just a couple hours prior. I thought once that I hadn't really felt him in a little while but I guessed that it was because I was in labor...What if I would've gone to the hospital sooner? My pregnancy was perfect and so was my baby. We have no idea what went wrong, why God needed our baby. Anthony weighed 6lbs. and 2oz. and he was 19 1/2 inches of pure beauty. We are so thankful for our photographer, Julie, she captured all of this beauty. I won't ever forget my sons thick black hair, chubby little fingers, perfectly soft skin. We miss him so much, we want our baby. I am thankful for the time we got to hold him in our arms. He was so peaceful, just like a sleeping baby...I just kept waiting for him to wake up...or for me to wake up from this horrible nightmare that my life has become. Somedays I still wake up thinking my nightmare is over, only to learn again, this is reality. Every day is a blur, I feel as though I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Will life ever be good again? My heart hurts like I never thought possible. Am I going crazy? Am I losing my mind? Will I ever find peace? All I really want is MY BABY!

[HAINAngel2000]

I wish I could bring you some comfort and make all your pain go away, but I can't. My heart is just devistated and broken for your family. I couldn't imagine your pain and bearing it. Your in my prayers Estrella and your family.
If you ever need to talk you have friends here who care about you! -Mary

[Dannie]

I am so sorry for your loss Estrella, May GOD bless you and your family and may peace come soon.
{{{Hugs}}}, Danna
***With GOD, All Things are possible***

[jaiew]

im so sorry for your loss. and no your not going crazy and no your not loosing your mind unfortunitly these are the feeling you get. i sympathise with you because i still wonder if im loosing my mind. there are days were it gets so bad i forget to breath. but at some point you will have good days to and when you do embrase them. just remember when it seems particularly hard just ask your little guy for some help and i assure you he will be there to help you through it. talk with him often because he is listening

[BreManley]

I am sorry for you loss and I am happy that Julie was there to capture your photos of your beautiful little man. He will be missed so much and I am glad you have found our site here at NILMDTS. You are not loosing your mind or you are not going crazy, actually I am glad you were able to share your story with us and talk to ppl like us that know just how it feels to lose a child. Just remember your son can hear you when you talk to him. I talk to Adam every nite and I am just about to go see the little man out at the cementary, and honestly I believe he hears me and answers my prayers. God Bless you and your family and if you need to talk please do so we are all here for you. Sending hugs your way. Breanna

[linda]

Welcome to our family here on this forum. I'll pray for peace and healing in your life. Your not crazy, you haven't lost your mind but this is the worst nightmare you could have. I hope today was an ok day, it will be like a roller coaster that you can't get off. Hang in there and always know were here for you any time, good, bad, whatever...Thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

[Estrella]

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. It is great to know that so many people care. It makes me happy to be able to share my baby with so many people that really care and want to hear our story. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.


The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched
They must be felt with the heart.

[Lyssa Sauer]

Estrella welcome to our family and hopefully here you will find a little peace. We can not take your pain away but we can help share the load. I am so sorry about your son. I am sorry that your are going this ever so growing forum but am glad you are here and found us. This is a place to rant rave be pissed and to cry actually a lot of crying. We all have been down this long journey so new some have been there longer but I hope we can all help you in this journey. Sending you Hugs and prayers as you will need them a lot of them at this point. Lyssa