Today at Home Depot...

[Naomi]

A very kind employee commented about how cute my girls are (I have 3). then he started telling me about his 2 little ones at home and yadda yadda yadda. After a bit, he said to me, Do you have just the 3 girls? Yes, I replied. "Oh, you should try again. You will get a boy. Really, try again, you'll have a boy." I didn't know what to do or say. I just stood there with a half smile and gave a slight laugh. Obviously this man has no clue that just 6 weeks ago, I was carrying a son. A baby that never took a breath. He obviously has no clue that I can not try again. That in losing my son; my husband, doctors, and others were concerned for my health. He doesn't know all that we have been through the past 6 months, with a difficult pregnancy and loss. He probably thought he was being encouraging. Now before we lost Jonathan, I would have been annoyed by this too, because it shows the belief that girls are not good enough, that we must bare a son to really have a complete family. But now, I am not annoyed, but dumbstruck and so glad I didn't break down and bawl in Home Depot!

[Lyssa Sauer]

Oh honey I am so sorry. Same thing happened to me today while talking to an attorney about the situation with my son. HE asked how old I was and said well you can have more kids you are still young. I wanted to strangle him! He knew about my son. Yes I do have that option of trying for more kids but that will NEVER bring MY son back. Iam sorry to hear that you cant even if you wanted to have another. People are so short minded I tell you. You dont have to have a boy to make a family complete. But you do have a boy and I think I would have turned around at that point and said I do have a son but he is now my guardian angel. I am glad you didnt loose it,but it would have been just fine if you did. My prayers are with you as I know that knife right thru your heart feeling.

[carissa13]

Wow is all I can say to that one. Isn't it amazing how bold strangers can be. I admire you for not saying a word to this person because like so many have said to me, "strangers have no idea what you have went through". You are so blessed to have your 3 daughters and you little heavenly son!! God gives us what He believe we need, no one can say girls are not good enough! If it was not for all us "girls", those boys would not have life and no voice to say the wrong thing with. You keep being strong and always remember that those who have never experienced losing a child will never understand.

[tinantravis]

Naomi-- So sorry for you and this very awkward conversation. It always seems awkward when someone asks how many children you have and you'r enot sure if you should say the living number (one, in my case) or include those who have passed. Sometimes it is just easier to say the living number to avoid the awkward look or questions. But, then I wonder, who is it really easier for? It's definitely not me and why should I make someone else's life "easier" when I am going through so much pain?

Anyways, I've never liked Home Depot. One more reason not to go there. (Just kidding--wanted to make you smile).

[HAINAngel2000]

My answer I always say is "I have 4 living, and 2 in heaven" that usually does it lolol The subject gets changed real quick. Which sometimes is ok with me, specially if its with a stranger. Girl we are here for you! I am sorry for your pain and so sorry to hear that you went through this! Mary

And you to Lyssa. Your attorney to me was ignorant!

[Brooke]

Hi Naomi,

I'm so sorry too for you having to be put in that awkward position with the man at Home Depot. You sure run into a lot of those awkward conversations after loosing a baby. I include Emma when I answer that famous question of, How many children do you have? I feel that if I don't include her I'm not respecting her short live she lived here on earth and I feel sorry afterward, so now I just include her no matter what the situation. If the person wants to know more I'll share Emma with them, if not then I just let it go, but then at least I included her and I feel better about it. Good luck to you with the unfortunately many more awkward conversations you will stumble across. You answer in the way that works best for you.

Love,

Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, & Angel Emma