I am a new member

[Shelly]

Hello, May I offer my most sincere condolences to the families on this forum who have lost precious children and to the people who participate in this forum who help, understand and grieve with us. My name is Shelly. I live in Rhode Island. I am a bereaved parent. My husband and I lost our identical twin girls, Madeline and Monique, nine years ago. They were monoamniotic twins; they were stillborn due to a cord accident. We have since gone on to have five wonderful children. The healing process for me was long and sloooooow! (My husband and I grieved differently--I've seen that issued posted.) We had our last child last June (after we'd thought our family was "complete".....I say complete, although it can never be complete becuase Madeline and Monique are not with us). Teddy brought with him the peace and healing that I thought I'd never experience. I was able to feel that "I'm totally in love with you" feeling that I've heard people talk about. It's amazing! I guess I'm here to say that you can get to a place where there is peace.....even if it takes a really, really long time! Don't get me wrong, I believe that healing will be part of my life journey. There are days when my sadness comes out and gets me...usually when I least expect it.

What actually brought me to this website is that I am an aspiring photographer. I would like to someday be able to join families at their most difficult times to preserve their precious few moments with their babies. I have no pictures except for a few ultra-sound images of Madeline and Monique. I can accept that fact now, but it was difficult for a long time. I don't want any family to miss the opportunity if they want it.

Finally, I am on the Bereavement Council at the local women's hospital. I cannot wait to bring this information to the Chaplain and the nurses. The nurses are incredible at the hospital. When there's a loss they take photos, print them and make a scrap book for the families. (The Bereavement Council raised money to buy a camera and printer, paper and supplies just for this purpose.)

So as usual, I don't fit into any one category ;-)
I look forward to hearing from you.
Wishing you all peaceful moments each day.
Shelly

[Aurora]

Hi Shelly I'm sure your story alone will bring comfort to many who wonder if healing is possible =)

I'm all the way on the opposite side of CT from you but if you ever want to travel out this way I'd be happy to do a little work with you and show you some basic stuff to help you further your photography skills, I think the more of us out there helping the less families will miss out on this wonderrul opportunity and someone like yourself who can understand exactly what they are going thru might be a huge comfort to these families and perhaps even healing for you too. Good luck and I'm glad to hear you have filled your heart and I believe that so long as you hold onto that love for your girls your family is complete five beautiful children here and their two heavlenly sisters to watch over them =) *hugs*

[Art]

As Aurora said, welcome, and any of us will help to whatever degree possible to aid you in your quest...

[Rayna']

welcome! You will definately be an asset in so may ways for us!

[Kirk Kief]

Do we have any photographers in your area? I know we have some in R.I. You might contact them and see if you can assist them in their sessions.

[Shelly]

Hi again....Aurora, thank you for your kind offer. I may just take you up on it!! Great idea to contact the local photographers that have signed up on the website. I checked about three weeks ago to see if there were any RI photographers and I'm quite certain there were not (so I checked out MA and CT). Is it possible three new photographers signed up in the past few weeks?

I also want to add to my story that my world came crashing down around me in 1998. My husband and I were always able to do whatever we put our minds to. We never expected that the loss--even though we knew it was a big risk--would happen to us. Part of the journey in healing for me was to let go of a lot of the little details that made the experience so horrific (maybe that's why my story sounds so simplistic). I think that's mixture of time and hope working it's magic of healing. I joined a support group shortly after our loss......and spent a lot of time attending!! It was a loss support group which had another group that you could "graduate" to when you were ready to consider pregnancy again. There were six of us who lost babies all in the same six month time frame (all first pregnancies). We have all gone on to have families. So, please have hope. Even if it's the tiniest sliver embrace it. Wishing you peaceful moments each day.

[Lyssa Sauer]

It seem like you have already done a lot to honor your two girls. I think you will help bring some wisdom to our group and some insite as well.

[Kirk Kief]

There are three in Rhaode Island, and, I'd recommend for you to contact Mary Louise. She is the coordinator, very friendly, and very active. She is also a marvelous photographer.

[Shelly]

Art, thank you for the encouragement!

[Shelly]

Kirk, Thanks for the help. I will contact Mary Louise. I would be honored to help her if she is interested in the assistance.

[Kirk Kief]

Tell her that I said it would be a great idea.
Oh, and be prepared to talk to her on the phone for a good while. She has no problems with carrying on a phone conversation:p

[Cheryl Haggard]

Lol-She is a sweetheart though...

[marylouise]

Thanks Kirk & Cheryl. Kirk, I think of you as the big brother I never had, and look to you for advice. or maybe is it just to bug you!!! LOL

[marylouise]

Hi Shelly,
I don't know why you didn't find me under RI. I've been there. Please give me a call, I would be happy to assist you in any way I can. Here's my studio # 401-732-5122. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Hugs