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Cheryl Haggard
02-13-2006, 10:49 AM
Ok-first, let me apologize for not posting much this past week on the forum. My mind has been alittle preoccupied with the anniversary of Maddux's birth. Thank you to everyone that sent me an email, letter or phone message. Knowing that we were in your thoughts and prayers, means so much to me. Thank you...

Now I know many of you are wondering how we are, and what we did.
My thoughts kept bringing me back to what we were doing on the very same day that Maddux was born. What should have been a day of joy for us, took a dramatic turn.

On February 4th, both of my daughters had a cheerleading competition at the Denver Colliseum. The youth team took 1st place and the juniors took 2nd place. Not bad for a team that has only been together for less that a year. My husband was home, and we were able to share this day with very good friends. Thank you Ali, Tony, Chris, Tammy G. for all your kind words and thoughts. Thank you for mentioning Maddux, and that this day was his birthday. After the Jamfest, I took my oldest daughter Anna (9) to get her ears pierced. Then we all went to Ted's and ate dinner.

Now, this is the fun part. For 11 months, I had talked about getting a tattoo. Yes, you heard me right. A tattoo. I NEVER thought in my life that I would get one. At first, after Maddux's death, I just wanted his name below my c section line. Something simple and private. Something just for me-noone else. (I can't believe that I am sharing this...) So after dinner, my friend Ali (who has stuck with me through thick and thin) started driving around. My husband took the kids with Tony, back to their place. (Shaking his head all the way home.) He would prefer that I not get one, and honestly, didn't think I was serious. I had checked prior with some people who had tattoos, (where else, but Tokyo Joes-one of the best fast food japanese restraunts in Denver-their motto has something to do with "the few, the proud, the pierced...) about places in Denver. Ali and I walked into one, and literally ran out there. I decided to try one more. Thinking as we walked in, if this place is like the first, I'm done. It wasn't. Very nice, clean and friendly. They new exactly what I wanted and what I was looking for, (of course, by that time I had changed my mind from just his name to a little Pooh Bear with angel wings, and his name.) So...below are some photos. Courtesy of my friend Chris Pepe, who we called at 11pm to come "play" with us.

My friend Ali holding my hand (it hurt her more than it hurt me...)And please don't think we dress alike all the time. (Girls had a cheer competions. We were showing our support.):D

Then, my little Classic Pooh Bear with Angel Wings, and Maddux's name underneath.

I am doing very well. So is my family. Later I will post what the kids did on February 10th.

Blessings-Cheryl

Scott Hays
02-13-2006, 05:58 PM
absolutely love it... glad all is well.

Kirk Kief
02-13-2006, 10:10 PM
Way cool!

Cheryl Haggard
02-13-2006, 10:19 PM
Ok-February 10th. Here we are.

Mike and I had a quiet day, went out to a nice lunch, and I shopped for Natalie's Kindergarten Class Valentines Party. (yep-room mom)

Both of my daughters had Cheer practice down in Denver. Yes, I drive from Evergreen to Denver 3 or more days a week for cheerleading. I am one of those 'psycho moms' when it comes to cheer. (LOL) Both girls are preparing for sleepovers at their friends houses.

We picked up 3 red mylar balloons. One for each kid. After school, Maddux's brother and sisters each grapped a sharpie and started writing a letter to him on the balloon. Mike and I both cried, because each child was so eager and excited to do this. When all messages were written, we all went outside, just before sunset, and Chase, Anna and Natalie all released the balloons to Maddux in Heaven at the same time. It was a pretty awesome sight. The red shiny balloons caught the sunlight and just literally glowed in the sky. When we thought we lost sight of them, they would turn in the sky, and with the sunlight, we would see them again.

Last year, the days after Maddux's death were the worst. There was no hope. Only deep heartache. I honestly believe my heart was truly broken in two. But here we are. We have survived. That is the only word to describe how I feel...

So, now I am excited about planning the first annual NILMDTS balloon release, in Honor and Memory of all our babies. This will happen in October, during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Andrea Hillis
02-14-2006, 05:06 PM
Love it Cheryl!

I've got a tattoo...of course I wasn't as brave, mine is much smaller than yours. LOL! A rose bud with a tiny stem and leaf.

A.

Charlene Lopez
02-14-2006, 08:41 PM
Love the tatoo Cheryl, way to go, I'm glad you did it!:D

Charlene

Deb Stoner
02-14-2006, 09:05 PM
ha haaa You re so funny-Can't believe you're showing your undies and tatoo on the forum. I know this year has been tough and there are times that will still be tough. But, I'm so happy to see you are healing!

Tammy
02-14-2006, 09:34 PM
The tat is very cute Cheryl, except ummm..... as far as it being "just for you, and no one else" well..... except for all of us who see it too!! *LOL* Just kidding. I'm glad you had it done.
Thought the kids releasing balloons to Maddux was so special. Looked like Anna had alot to say to her baby brother~ so sweet. Glad to know you are all doing well.

Wendy
02-14-2006, 10:05 PM
Okay Cheryl. Now my boys have one more argument for a tatto. "Even Miss Cheryl has one Mom." Phillip was pretty impressed. Victoria's repy, "Oh my Goodness!" http://nowisleep.com/images/smilies/eek.gif Back to the website Tom wants to see.

Pennie
02-15-2006, 10:19 AM
I love the tattoo Cheryl, Jon and I are planning to do the same thing in Honor of Lukas! I think it is a great idea:-)

Scott Hays
02-15-2006, 11:59 AM
Love the idea of the NILMDTS Ballon release. We were going to do a balloon release for Lindsey when we have her memorial moment in Colorado in July up in Estes. But to have a national release, what a grand idea. I'm glad your kids were so excited to do this for Maddux. What love your family has all the way around. How fortunate you are.
Thanks again for being there for so many people. You are wonderful, and a great source of inspiration.

Scott

Cheryl Haggard
02-15-2006, 02:46 PM
I tell ya all what...I NEVER in my life thought I would get a tattoo. But after Maddux died, that's all I wanted was his little name on my belly. I originally thought about having " Maddux was here " on my belly.

Thanks everybody for your comments. It's fun.
Pennie-If you need a recommendation-The Inferno off of Broadway. The guys name is VooDoo. (don't ask)

Kirk Kief
02-15-2006, 05:56 PM
The National balloon launch sounds intrigueing. I wonder if there would be any legal issues?

Erica Stone
02-15-2006, 10:44 PM
Now you will always have that bear with you when you go to sleep at night.

John Witter
02-20-2006, 12:27 AM
Nice tat Cheryl. It's pretty cool. The balloon launch is a great idea. Thank you so much for all you have given this past year.

aoconnor
02-21-2006, 02:27 PM
Nice tat Cheryl.;) Theres something about deciding what you want and where you want it even the pain and itching that makes you feel impowered. I got a tat a year after my mom died they are kind of theraputic aren't they.I've wanted to reply many times but have never known what to say. Just from reading your posts I can tell your an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your life!

Cheryl Haggard
02-22-2006, 07:39 PM
Amber-Thanks for getting on the forum. You have an incredible Sister, Tammy. I am very blessed to know her, even if it is only by phone and email at this time. Keep writing...

And about the tattoo-It was incredibly fun. I know I told you I had been planning it for 11 months, but that night, the anniversary of Maddux's birth, was just spur of the moment. There is something said about having the tattoo permanent. Can't wash it away...;)

aharalson
02-23-2006, 12:53 AM
Wow what a day, let me tell you I can't believe Cheryl and I were driving around Denver (and not the great parts of Denver) looking for a tattoo parlor. It was a totally different experience. More than anything I am just glad to be the friend of such an amazing person. Happy Birthday Maddux:o

Cheryl Haggard
03-10-2006, 05:21 PM
Of course, my friend was too chicken to get a tat with me...

BRAWCK!!! BRAWCK!!!

linda
04-12-2007, 10:40 AM
Where did you get it done? A friend at work gave me a card for a guy in Boulder, but his web site scared me! LOL I want to do something simple too, just little footprints with his name and birthdate.