Praying God's Will

[asquad]

first of all, if you aren't sure of my story you can check it here (http://theasquad.blogspot.com/). (be sure to check back to the original post to see where we still are in our process)

I have known since the first of march that my cousin's (senior in high school) daughter is unexpectedly expecting her first baby in october. i sent him a letter back then saying that if she even considers giving the baby up for adoption i would be honored/humbled to be the first to be considered to adopt it. i heard shortly after this that my cousin and his wife were planning on raising the baby themselves.

my cousin's brother came to visit this evening and shared that jade has decided to do an open adoption for her baby girl. instantly my mind started running wild. so.............tony calls his brother and talks with him. he said jade chose open adoption so she can pick the parents not so she can ever see the baby again. he said she wouldn't consider family because she doesn't ever want to have to see her baby again. i understand how that would (in her young mind) make things easier but i am sooooooo feeling the want for this baby. we don't ever see jade, she is 17 and i've seen her maybe 5 times in her life. i can see why now she may feel that she might not ever want to see her daughter again but believe that in the long run, it may be healing for her at that future time.

i ask for your prayers that maybe this is still possible for our family to adopt jade's baby girl. i won't ever do adoption through an agency due to cost and home inspection, etc........, i won't ever consider in-vitro as i have 3 beautiful children and think it's wonderful for those who have no other children or choice, i won't ever consider surrogacy because of cost, i won't ever consider foster care as i could never turn the babe back to the home.

we are still trying naturally after my tubal ligation april 06, tubal reversal july 06, and hsg june 07. things look good inside, it's just a matter of it happening and God's will being. This is just too close to me to have this opportunity of a babe needing a good christian home that it is eating me up inside.

i appreciate your prayers.......for peace in my heart and honestly that this baby could be ours.

thank you,
XOXO
In Christ's Love,
Penny

[Cheryl Haggard]

Wow, Penny,

Prayers all around from me...I know that each person has their own mind, beliefs and reasons for doing things, but I also think it selfish for her to not even consider in-family adoption, especially, after knowing of your loss...What greater gift could she give the child, or yourself...

My mother is a health care worker in Missouri, (public health)
and she sees so many girls that are so young, getting pregnant...I think she has one now that just turned 14...How can a 14 year old raise a child? In the back of my mind I always think, if I could only get my hands on one of those baby's...

On a side note, how much did your tubal reversal cost you?
C

[asquad]

my tubal reversal was a heart gift. first of all, on my visit with my ob at 4 months i asked her about being sent home from my teaching job at the time due to being high risk. i had just spent nov and dec on family medical leave to care for my dad who went through chemo/radiation for lung cancer. (praise God he is still cancer free and doing well) i asked if having used that once was it possible to use it again-----------i had to have the insurance, my husband is self-employed in the heavy operations construction business. her reply to me was, "I cannot send you home without a medical reason or I can be sued for insurance fraud." (in hindsight, does she want to be sued for 'possible' insurance fraud or for negligence in causing the death of my son? no we did not sue---i know in my heart we would win, it wasn't going to bring aaron back, i just couldn't do it.) So, she knew from the start I was concerned about the baby and my health. With Aaron being a surprise gift, not one that I wasn't totally excited to receive----I just dont' enjoy being pregnant----we decided we would do the tubal. After checking in at the hospital, finding no heartbeat, going totally bonkers, I remember yelling, "I TOLD HER!!! I TOLD HER!!!, I TOLD HER!!!" she still asked us if we wanted the tubal done. ethically she NEVER should have done it. She never should have put us in the deciding mode at that time-----15 minutes before walking into the delivery room as he was delivered c-section. When going back in to have my staples removed, she didn't even plan to meet with us. The nurse came in to remove the staples. We had to ASK to meet with her. (the nerve of her arrogance.........i am getting mad as i write this even though i have prayed and prayed and prayed that i can someday forgive her) Her name is Cheryl Fogerty, she practices in Joplin, MO and I wouldnt' wish her on my worse enemy. Needless to say, I have never stepped back in her building. I switched ob's and went to him for my 6 week release. I met with his nurse practitioner and she was a God send. she IS a God send. I have talked more with her than with the ob himself. Anyway, as she was talking with us she threw out the option of a reversal. He could not do it but there is another dr. in Joplin who could. I was meeting with him 1 week later and had my surgery exactly 12 weeks to the day after delivering Aaron/c-section/tubal ligation surgery.
Sorry to ramble, but to answer your question, his actual service is around $6500. Because he and my ob believed her actions to be professionally unethical--and because my ob owns part of the clinic the surgery was done at, they knocked off what they could and my surgery was $4200.

I know of many other dr.s incountry and 1 in mexico who do the surgery, too. i was extremely pleased with the ob who did my surgery and the care and concern received by his nurses.

I wouldn't wish a reversal surgery on my worst enemy either. I would take 6 more c-sections before having to endure that pain again. He said it was so excruciating because when a c-section is done, your body is already expanded/stretched with the baby. with the tubal reversal surgery, my body first of all was still healing from the c-sect. but also had to be opened and stretched to do the extremely precise surgery.

Sorry if this is too much information.
I appreciate your prayers for our current situation.
XOXO
P

[asquad]

it sounds as if i didn't want aaron when we found out we were unexpectedly expectin. let me cler this.............i was thrilled to have another babe, i just am not good at being pregnant. (pain, i'm only 5'2" and have big babies, sick for the first trimester, an obsessive worrier, etc.......

also, i was noted high risk after my first preg wouldn't drop and had to sign emerg. c-section papers in the middle of delivery Oct 95, m/c my second preg Oct 96, 3rd preg Jan 98 dropped so fast she came naturally, we lost adam in jan 01--emerg c-section, and austin was scheduled c-section june 02. i was sent home with austin by the same office-----different dr. GO FIGURE!

[marylouise]

Penny, my prayers are with you.

[Lindzy Foster]

Penny praying for and thinking of you and your family

[Lyssa Sauer]

I am putting my faith in God and believe thing happen for a purpose. I pray that this baby just falls into that purpose for you. Good luck and I will be thinking and praying for you> Hugs Lyssa