Idea

[Tammy]

While replying to a post, a light bulb went off and an idea came to me. Would like to find out what you think of it.

Phone support line. Having a list of members willing to make their phone number accessible for other members to call them, if someone is having a tough time and needs some extra support, or just another voice/ear/ shoulder.

Thanks Scott, for inspiring this idea for me. :)

[Deb Stoner]

Tammy, We do a variation of this where I live. There are people who volunteer to do phone support in different loss categories-Ex.-stillbirth, subseqent pregnancy after a loss, single mom support, trisomy 18, etc. It has worked out well.

[Cheryl Haggard]

I have never been to a "support" group. I know that they are out there. I know that the hospital I delivered Maddux in, was supposed to have a support group session (for 6 or 8 weeks), but had a lack of participants, so had to cancel it, and referred me to another hospital.

Many times, I have thought about forming an actual support group myself. I have thought that a good place to do this would be through my church. I don't want somebody to tell me that they know how I feel, just because they have a degree in therapy. I want to hear from others that have truly experienced my heartache and grief, and truly know how I feel. I KNOW MY PAIN AND GRIEF, Yet, still find it hard to imagine what another parent is experiencing. It is truly unimaginable! Something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I am not saying that, like my pain was the worst...I am saying that, knowing that there is no deeper pain. And the thought of another going through that pain, literally scares me. You can't go by 'the book' on dealing with the heartache after the death of a child. You have to find others that share in your grief.

After Maddux, I found a friend named Wendy K, here in Evergreen. I didn't know her. All I know is that a friend of mine had a friend that had lost a baby at birth, and asked if she could call her and have her contact me. Of Course. (That is probably the best thing that anyone did for me.) ((Put me in touch with another mother that has experienced the loss of an infant...)) The only other person I knew that had lost an infant, after birth, was my friend Renee' and she lived in Arizona. We had lost touch, and she had actually delivered her fourth child, (I found out)a day after Maddux. I called her, and we just cried with eachother over the telephone. She listened to me, I asked her questions, she honestly answered them. She told me "She knew how I felt..." And she did. After she lost her first baby, Cole, I remember talking to her, wanting to help her, but not knowing what I could do. Not knowing what I could say. I didn't know how she felt. Now I do...And now I am able to reach out to others, and truly know how they feel...

Back to the subject at hand...I think it is a great idea for a support network like that. And I think that most of us here, are off to that start.
I have found incredible mothers, and fathers through NILMDTS. I have had the honor to talk to most of them. And (I think) build strong and lasting friendships.
I have to thank all of you for this privilege. It truly is an honor. :p

[Scott Hays]

Tammy,
I think it would be a wonderful idea. I think getting the dynamics into place would be the only hard part. I would be more than willing to participate in something like that. Let me know what I could do.

By the way, if I'm the Scott, your welcome for whatever I did.

[Tammy]

Ok. Well as with everything, it takes some time to set things up. Not everyone is comfortable making their number known, which is understandable. Maybe we could come up with an area on the forum for people to post a contact number, or personal email? I don't know... I've never set anything up like this before. Any other ideas are certainly welcomed~

pssssst.. Scott H. thanks for the idea! :D