Scott Hays
11-16-2007, 10:54 AM
Goodness, I don't know how long it's been since I've visited the forum. Life has been hectic. In a way it's been a good thing. But here we are, November again. It's come so quickly. Lindsey's birthday is only a week away. Gosh, she's going to be 21. What would I have done with a 21 year old daughter? For my son, he'll be going to Vegas. Lindsey, I don't think so! She's my angel. I guess it would be determined by her personality. My dream is that she would have wanted nothing more than to have spent her 21st with her dad, having lunch or dinner, just talking about life, and her goals. Then reality sets in, and I know she'd be out the door with friends, doing what 21 year olds do.
I feel bad as I haven't talked to her as much as I have in the past. I haven't forgotten about her, things have just been so hectic. When I do a NILMDTS session, I think about her a lot. Lately it's been really busy with sessions. I know that all the fathers I see are torn to pieces inside. I look into their eyes, and I so badly want to give them a hug and say I feel your pain. All these fathers are so excited at the birth of their little ones, but the pain is still their. I see them hold their child, and it brings back the memories of holding Lindsey. I can still feel her in my arms this many years later.
To the fathers out there, don't forget to grieve now. If you read through my posts, you'll find that I held it in. Held it for about 18 years. It about destroyed me. It didn't do me or my family any good. Don't be afraid to talk about that beautiful little child that you held in your arms. He or she IS your child, and always will be. With future children, they will always have a sibling, and let them know that. Ask my children today how many brothers and sisters they have, and they will always add Lindsey to their count. They never knew her, but they are proud of her.
So with tears in my eyes, it's time to go and have a good talk with Lindsey about turning 21. Cheryl, I think Maddux is in trouble. I think she's going to get back at him for all these years of babysitting trouble he's given her. I know she'll still watch out for all the little ones that come her way. She's that kind of a girl.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Always,
Scott
I feel bad as I haven't talked to her as much as I have in the past. I haven't forgotten about her, things have just been so hectic. When I do a NILMDTS session, I think about her a lot. Lately it's been really busy with sessions. I know that all the fathers I see are torn to pieces inside. I look into their eyes, and I so badly want to give them a hug and say I feel your pain. All these fathers are so excited at the birth of their little ones, but the pain is still their. I see them hold their child, and it brings back the memories of holding Lindsey. I can still feel her in my arms this many years later.
To the fathers out there, don't forget to grieve now. If you read through my posts, you'll find that I held it in. Held it for about 18 years. It about destroyed me. It didn't do me or my family any good. Don't be afraid to talk about that beautiful little child that you held in your arms. He or she IS your child, and always will be. With future children, they will always have a sibling, and let them know that. Ask my children today how many brothers and sisters they have, and they will always add Lindsey to their count. They never knew her, but they are proud of her.
So with tears in my eyes, it's time to go and have a good talk with Lindsey about turning 21. Cheryl, I think Maddux is in trouble. I think she's going to get back at him for all these years of babysitting trouble he's given her. I know she'll still watch out for all the little ones that come her way. She's that kind of a girl.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Always,
Scott