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Scott Hays
11-16-2007, 10:54 AM
Goodness, I don't know how long it's been since I've visited the forum. Life has been hectic. In a way it's been a good thing. But here we are, November again. It's come so quickly. Lindsey's birthday is only a week away. Gosh, she's going to be 21. What would I have done with a 21 year old daughter? For my son, he'll be going to Vegas. Lindsey, I don't think so! She's my angel. I guess it would be determined by her personality. My dream is that she would have wanted nothing more than to have spent her 21st with her dad, having lunch or dinner, just talking about life, and her goals. Then reality sets in, and I know she'd be out the door with friends, doing what 21 year olds do.

I feel bad as I haven't talked to her as much as I have in the past. I haven't forgotten about her, things have just been so hectic. When I do a NILMDTS session, I think about her a lot. Lately it's been really busy with sessions. I know that all the fathers I see are torn to pieces inside. I look into their eyes, and I so badly want to give them a hug and say I feel your pain. All these fathers are so excited at the birth of their little ones, but the pain is still their. I see them hold their child, and it brings back the memories of holding Lindsey. I can still feel her in my arms this many years later.

To the fathers out there, don't forget to grieve now. If you read through my posts, you'll find that I held it in. Held it for about 18 years. It about destroyed me. It didn't do me or my family any good. Don't be afraid to talk about that beautiful little child that you held in your arms. He or she IS your child, and always will be. With future children, they will always have a sibling, and let them know that. Ask my children today how many brothers and sisters they have, and they will always add Lindsey to their count. They never knew her, but they are proud of her.

So with tears in my eyes, it's time to go and have a good talk with Lindsey about turning 21. Cheryl, I think Maddux is in trouble. I think she's going to get back at him for all these years of babysitting trouble he's given her. I know she'll still watch out for all the little ones that come her way. She's that kind of a girl.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Always,
Scott

Karla
11-16-2007, 11:19 AM
Hey Scott,

We have missed your posts, but it's good to know that you have been busy, sad that you have been busy with nilmdts sessions though, wish it were something more positive! I will have to have one of my talks with God again about parents not losing their children. I will wish Lindsey a "Happy Birthday" from now!!

All the best!
Karla

Kirk Kief
11-16-2007, 12:56 PM
Scott! I was wondering about you the other day as I traveled back from Colorado. I'm so pleased to see you back with us. I have a strong hunch that even though Lindsey would have done what most 21 yr. olds do on their Birthday, she would have still taken a part of her day and dedicated that time with her Dad.
Happy Birthday, Lindsey!

Terri Shaver
11-17-2007, 11:58 PM
Scott,
We have an angel Lindsey who would be 26 now. She entered into heaven in September of 1981 and I often think about what she'd be doing now, what she would look like and what our relationship would be like. My husband doesn't say much, but I appreciate your thoughts...maybe my husband's are the same?
Maybe out angels have met somewhere in Heaven? I'm thankful that our paths have crossed here on earth participating in such a wonderful service, giving such an important gift to other families.

Terri S.

carissa13
11-18-2007, 12:00 PM
Scott ~ I have tears in my eyes reading your post. I don't believe my boyfriend (openly) grieves, he thinks it's all about me, whether I'm alright. It does give me hope that he WILL grieve in the way he needs to.
Wishing your Lindsey and Happy 21st birthday.

Tammy
11-22-2007, 08:21 AM
Good to see you back Scott~ I've been wondering about you! Happy 21st Birthday Lindsey~

Cheryl Haggard
11-22-2007, 02:24 PM
Scott,
Just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you all and Lindsey tomorrow. The BIG 21. WOW. Yes, Maddux is in trouble now...
Prayers and Hugs...
Cheryl

Austin's Momma
11-03-2008, 09:43 PM
I can see that you posted this message a while ago, but I'm just now reading it. I have been reading posts ever since my son passed away (five weeks ago) and have just recently registered to post messages. I'm hoping that Lindsey and my little sister, Rachel, are having a good time together. (Rachel would be 21 now also.)

When you mentioned that you "held your emotions in" it reminded me of my husband. I don't want him to hold things in, but I don't want to push him either. Do you wish that your wife had done anything differently to help you?

Another November is here, so you and your family will be in my thoughts.