Scott Hays
03-02-2006, 11:42 AM
I thought I'd better say that the funk is over. I didn't want people to think that this funk thing lasts forever. Ok, there are still some moments, but I've gotten some great e-mails that have helped, and well, I may be avoiding things, but I got myself busy. Nothing wrong with that. I took what's important to me and started getting into it. Ok, if I didn't, the family won't eat. (It's the little things. Got to take pictures to eat)
What did I learn? One, we're all going to have out moments over time. I'm still not out of the woods so to speak. I know enough about the grief process to know that this might come back again in the next year. It may not though. I'm not going to dwell on it though. I've got a great support group here at NILMDTS, and I'll use them. Two, it's to easy to sit back and dwell on the what if's. Ok, we're all going to do it, and it's appropriate. We have to decide on our own though when it's time to step up and say it's time to move on. I'll never forget my angel, but there's nothing wrong with going on and doing things that will make a difference. I think that is what has helped me the most. I'm starting to do more non-profit work this year, and it has made me feel a lot better about myself. I have new found friends that are parents on this web site, that are getting involved in NILMDTS. I would almost be willing to bet that with this new found purpose, that they are feeling a little better. For me, it's about making a difference. Not just the busy work that we can do any day. Now I'm not saying rush out and do something before you're ready, but as parents that have lost children, overtime, we have that ability to help other parents. Join support groups, help that young mother and father who's world has just come crashing down upon them. Listen to them, just be there for them. Read Cheryl's posts about what you can do for someone. The feeling that you may gain could be more healing than you realize.
I hope that when you read these ramblings that I have written over time, that you can take something small away from them. Take the time to read the posts from Cheryl, Tammy, Deb, and all the other parents. The notes are all healing.
Well, all of that just to say that for now I'm out of the funk. If you didn't read the previous post you'll say what the heck is he talking about. Until the next time. Dad's and Mom's hang in there. There's a lot of life to live for.
Scott
What did I learn? One, we're all going to have out moments over time. I'm still not out of the woods so to speak. I know enough about the grief process to know that this might come back again in the next year. It may not though. I'm not going to dwell on it though. I've got a great support group here at NILMDTS, and I'll use them. Two, it's to easy to sit back and dwell on the what if's. Ok, we're all going to do it, and it's appropriate. We have to decide on our own though when it's time to step up and say it's time to move on. I'll never forget my angel, but there's nothing wrong with going on and doing things that will make a difference. I think that is what has helped me the most. I'm starting to do more non-profit work this year, and it has made me feel a lot better about myself. I have new found friends that are parents on this web site, that are getting involved in NILMDTS. I would almost be willing to bet that with this new found purpose, that they are feeling a little better. For me, it's about making a difference. Not just the busy work that we can do any day. Now I'm not saying rush out and do something before you're ready, but as parents that have lost children, overtime, we have that ability to help other parents. Join support groups, help that young mother and father who's world has just come crashing down upon them. Listen to them, just be there for them. Read Cheryl's posts about what you can do for someone. The feeling that you may gain could be more healing than you realize.
I hope that when you read these ramblings that I have written over time, that you can take something small away from them. Take the time to read the posts from Cheryl, Tammy, Deb, and all the other parents. The notes are all healing.
Well, all of that just to say that for now I'm out of the funk. If you didn't read the previous post you'll say what the heck is he talking about. Until the next time. Dad's and Mom's hang in there. There's a lot of life to live for.
Scott