Personal Plea

[Elle]

Through this work, I have come to realize the great importance of proper prenatal care.

I am currently faced with a situation in my personal life that I was hoping some of our L&D nurses might be willing to help me with. (Kirk, feel free to move this if there is somewhere better.)

My brother in law and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. She is only "8 weeks" along, though I suspect possibly longer. She is VERY VERY sick. She hasn't held down food in over a week, and almost the same for fluids. No prenatal vitamins, no OBGYN appts. - inspite of my pleading and begging. I peronally think this is a little past "morning sickness".

She takes an anti-epilepsy med. - which I looked up online and it just say's it's "too new" to know if it's dangerous or not. She said her neuro doc told her to stay on her meds - because she had epilepsy very badly (I don't know how else to say that).

I am serioulsy concerned for her health as we as that of the baby. I am hoping someone can PM me, or email me direct. I want to know how I should talk to her, approach her, do I have other formal options?

She's very young, and I'm very worried for them both. If you have a minute, I would gratefully welcome any advice. I've been trying to buy her food, smoothies, whatever she wants, but nothing seems to be helping her.

Thank You.

[Kirk Kief]

Elle,
Yes, I want to move this immediately over to the family section where some of our nursing members will be able to see this.

[JenniferBrown]

I know from personal experience (I lost 3 babies before I had my first full term baby) When I was pg with my daughter (first full term baby) I was sicker than a dog. I couldn't hold ANYTHING down! I went in to see a same day ob dr and they did a quick ultrasound (vag. ultrasound) and saw her little heart beating away :) I was about 8-9 weeks long. I cried to see her for the first time. THEN He gave me Phenergan. *there is pill form and suppository form* I took the pill form. I couldn't keep water or anything down! The phenergan helped me like crazy! It made me sleepy but I was able to keep my fluids down (I was to be rehydrated by iv because I was so dehydrated at that point).
Ginger helps *ginger ale and ginger snaps were my fav's*

I don't know, medically, if there is a problem going on with her but thought I'd give you my 2 cents on my own experience.

I hope she's feeling better and eating again soon. I DO suggest if she can't keep water down to go get seen and get rehydrated with an iv!

[CrystalW]

I'm not really sure of how your whole situtaion seems to be. But just a little nurturing and asking her if she thinks maybe she should call the dr or go in to L&D for some fluids? I don't know how open she is to you? It's not good for either one of them to not have fluids and especailly concerns me that she hasn't seen a Dr. yet and she is 8weeks or evenfurther along. They usually want to see you at 8 weeks. And she needs to be taking pnv. Maybe she really just doesn't know? Maybe if you could just tell her?

[Sandy Viola]

She needs to go to the ER NOW if she really hasn't kept anything down in a week. They will give her IV fluids and a medication called Zofran that will really help with her nausea. She need not suffer not to mention that with epilepsy and on unknown meds she will need to be monitored very closely. If she has not had anything to eat in that long both her and the baby will suffer. Her electrolytes will go off and she is more prone to having a seizure and not coming out of it. She probably isn't metabolizing her meds well due to the vomiting, if she is taking them at all! Young doesn't have to mean ignorant. There is more than one life at stake here. She needs to do what she has to do. What she has is called hyperemesis and it is treatable. There are no formal options for you at this point to "make" her go to the Dr. but you should talk to your brother and make him understand the importance of getting treatment NOW! You can tell him you spoke with me...a long time high risk obstetrical nurse and this is the answer you got. Will say a prayer for all of you.

[Elle]

Hi all -

Thank you for your responses, I'm afraid she isn't willing to do much of anything.

She was here the other night - threw up twice, though hadn't had anything to eat all day - just water. She's pale as a ghost, and she's Simoan, so that's.... alarming.

I tried to talk to them, begged, yelled, pleaded, etc. She's *say's* she'll call and make an apt, but it's been over a week and she hasn't yet.

I checked out her meds Sandy - she takes "LAMACTIL" - the epilepsy does - which I assume is higher. I did some reading and honestly... it doesn't look real good for the baby. It say's, "while the exact effects are unknown LAMACTIL should only be taken during pregnancy when the benefit to the mother outweighs the potential harm to the fetus."

Harldy encouraging.

I will pass on the ginger tip. :)

They were here on Friday... and watching the two of them NOT take any of this serioulsy really p****d me off as I had to LEAVE to go do a 37 week demise. Watching these parents sob and cry for their angel was brutal. Part of my wished I had dragged the girl along so she could see the potential that awaits her if she continues to fail to get the proper medical care. I felt so awful for the parents of the baby....

what a night.

THANK YOU so much for your advice Sandy, I really appreciate it.

[Georgette Johnson]

Elle,

I am a La nd D nurse and unfortunatly there is nothing that you can force her to do. She should make an appt, be blunt with her. A lot of times this early on in the pregnacy they are still in the acceptance stage. Tell her she needs to go in for the baby. Maybe some of it is the fear of the unknown, but it is better for her to go in know and get help. They can re-hydrate her and put her on some meds to help with the sickness.

Some women are that sick throughout the pregnacy, and need to be on meds throughout. We do have pts that are able to stay on there current seizure meds throughout pregnancy. Maybe these are things she needs to hear, that they can help her and not punish her for what she is currently doing. She would feel a lot better if she went in, they could at least give her something to help the sickness. (Some women fear that the Dr is going to punish them) It is more that the Doctors and nurses are concerned about her and her baby.

If need someone to talk with or have any questions feel free!

Thanks
Georgette

[Tasha Nicholls]

Oh, Elle... I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would be extremely alarmed, too, if someone I knew was taking epilepsy meds that were potentially harmful to the baby.

I know that you do everything in your effort to take care of this bro-in-law and his gf. I can't imagine how hard it is to see her not take this seriously despite all your yelling, pleading, threatening, etc. Sometimes it takes a while for people to mature and realize that they're not invinsible and immune to tragedy and heartache... I just hope that she figures it out before she learns it the hard way.

Feel free to give me a call and vent.

((HUGS))

P.S. Too bad we can't do an intervention and give her a wake up call... maybe you can show her some of your DVD's :eek:

[Elle]

Hi all,

Thanks for the all the advice and kind words, I really appreciate it.

Sandy, I shared your advice with her, and she *said* she's going to make an appt. tomorrow. Turns out, in addition to both epilepsy and bi-polar disorder, she has also has bulimia (sP?).... so, I'm just worried all the way around.

I bought her a pair of yoga style maternity pants - because she said her jeans were hurting her tummy and I bought those preggie pops drops to help her with the feeling sick stuff... she seems to like them.

She's very young, so I'm trying to be very patient and supportive, I think my perspective is different on this subject now... having seen what I have seen, and watching the heartache of women who doing everything *right* and yet it can go so horribly wrong for them.

I'll keep you all posted... hopefully with posts of good news! We'll have to wait and see. But, thank you again!

[Tammy Councilman]

Elle,

It may not be much solace but I do know when I was so sick during the first trimester the doctor told me it meant the pregnancy hormones were working hard to support my pregnancy. I hope that at least if she isn't getting help right away that this may be true for her and the outcome is a healthy baby. It is so hard to watch someone in denial, almost to the point of self-destruction, when we see families every day who's arms ache to hold their babies...I'm so sorry Elle. I'll keep you and her in my prayers.

Tammy Councilman
Portrait Expressions
www.portraitexpressions.org (http://www.portraitexpressions.org)

[Elle]

Hello everyone who posted,

I just wanted to give you an update.

Today I went with her to her OGBYN appt and went over her meds with him, etc. He brought up making sure that her "levels" were checked to make sure the meds aren't "diluted" in her system. He went over the danger of her having a seizure and that it can cause birth defects/death to the baby.

He also is sending her to our local Perinatal OBGYN office's for monitoring. She has to have a scan next week as a pre-screen for Down's. And then another ultrasound at 4 months or so. Obviously, I'm very worried for her and hoping for the best.

She didn't seem to truly register what the doctor was saying, so I made sure to call her Mom today to let her know everything the doctor said and that there is an adult in the loop to ensure her safety and the babies.

I am certainly hoping for the best... though, I see plenty of situations that do not "work out for the best' so to speak.

Thank you for all of your sound and completely accurate advice, the doctor is a really fantastic doctor, so I'm feeling better about her care.

Thank you for so much for all support, I truly appreciate it. :)

I'll keep you all posted.

[Kirk Kief]

Sounds as though this baby already has her Guardian Angel!

[Tasha Nicholls]

She's very lucky to have you, Elle!