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Cheryl Haggard
02-13-2008, 12:27 AM
If this has been posted before, sorry. I can't remember where I got this, (probably from here...) Anyway, I think it is worthy of posting again...


Being there:


Do you know of someone who's precious child has died? Perhaps she is a neighbor or friend with whom you can confide. You assume that she is suffering, a tragedy so deep, that there is nothing you can do since all she does is weep. You feel that if you see her there is nothing you can say that would make her precious child come back or make the pain go away. And if by chance you meet her and have to face her grief, you'll do your very best to make this meeting brief. You'll talk about the weather or the lady down the lane, but you'll never mention her child, that would cause her too much pain! And when the funeral's over, and all is said and done, you'll go home to your family, and she'll be all alone. She'll go on, she'll be all right, time heals - Or so it seems. While she's left alone to pick up the pieces of her shattered life and dreams.
- OR -
You can open up your heart and find that special place where compassion and true giving are awaiting your embrace. "Today I'm thinking of you in a very special way." Or, how about " I love you." Are some loving things to say. Sometimes a very simple task like picking up the phone, can help her feel not-so-quite desperately all alone. Whatever comes from a genuine heart cannot be said in vain. For the truth is, it's these very things that lessen her great pain. And when you let her talk about her child who is now dead, you'll know this is far greater than anything you've said. So will you reach out with all your soul, and let her know you care? For in the end there's no substitute for simply
BEING THERE!

~authur unknown~

KEA's Mom
02-13-2008, 05:54 AM
Cheryl,
That poem is so true. I've been back to work for less than a week. I work with a fairly large number of people, however, the number of people that have actually spoken to me is minimal--far, far less than the number of sorrowful glances that I've gotten. Are they thinking that by not mentioning Amanda, that they're not making me sad? I'm sad all of the time and think of her all of the time.
In addition to that, there's a woman that sits fairly close to me whom gave birth to very premature twins before Christmas. She and I were due a day apart. She walks by my office twice a day to go pump for her babies and it makes me so sad to know I won't be doing that for Amanda. Of course, the existence of both of us, at opposite ends of the spectrum, makes our co-workers even more uncomfortable. Because her babies were born so early and are still in the hospital (but doing very well, thank God), we haven't had her shower at work yet. I'm going to skip it--I don't want to make her uncomfortable at her own shower and I don't want to have to pretend that I'm okay looking at all those adorable, yet heart breaking little baby things.
We'll have to see what today brings.
Kristen
Mom to Kara, Emily and Angel Baby Amanda (1/16/08)

carissa13
02-13-2008, 07:11 PM
Cheryl ~ thank you for sharing........ almost 9 months later a lot of people think I would not want to speak of Jarell when some days that is all I want to do.