PDA

View Full Version : Gillian's moms story



LauraD
03-05-2008, 10:07 AM
Hi All,
I'm new here. I just wanted to share my story. My husband and i were married for 4 years before we got pregnant for the first time with Gillian. We were of course, thrilled. Everything seemed to be fine, although everyone always told me i was so small, and i felt the same way. but my doctor said i was fine and i didn't have to be a "cow" because i was pregnant. I went into labor on her due date, May 24th 2002. i was scared and excited. We went to the hospital at 6pm. I got in my johnnie and they check for the heartbeat, and the nurse couldn't find it and i said, you're scaring me and she said," don't worry". well they brought the ultrasound in and told me she was gone. Now i need to add she was alive the day before at my dr's appt. i lost my mind, i thought hat they would do a c section and get her out and try to save her. Obviously i was wrong and that's not what happened. I couldn't breath, i wanted to die. my doctoor left and my husband and i were a mess. they brought me to the maternity ward and started to call family. I could hear babies crying and i knew i wouldn't be hearing mine. i gave birth in a silent dark room. I did not give birth to her till the following day at 1pm. I wish someone had spoken to us about the importance of pictures but it was like everyone was scared of me, it was horrible. We did hold her, she was batised, and i do have pictures but they are such poor quality and so painful to look at, they took them too late. by the way my doctor left me there for a stranger to deliver my daughter. i'm glad i held her but i wish someone would have help me get my emotions in check so i could have had my witts about me to hold her longer and take pictures. but that wasn't the case. I also have a memorial tattoo for her. maybe i'll put the pic up once i figure out how to work this website.

Laura

Andrea A
03-05-2008, 09:35 PM
Laura, I am so sorry! I can sense your pain and frustration in your account of your Gillian's birth, and I am very sad that you had to endure such immense pain and loss with such lack of empathy from hospital staff! I just wish doctors and nurses like that would get a clue and be sensitive to their patient's needs during these tragic times... I just don't understand! Where's the humanity?

I love the name Gillian! Jillian is actually on my list of favorite girl names if I ever have another daughter.

So glad that you have found this forumn... there are many kind and understanding people here to offer you support at any time!