Expecting jitters

[linda]

So after 33 weeks ~ all of a sudden I have started to freak out. It's only been a few days but I'm overwhelmed with the idea that something bad could happen when our little man makes his grand entrance. I feel like in the past week I've distanced myself from Mason and my family. I know regardless of the outcome Mason is a blessing and gift from God. I guess the fear is just taking over the joy of what the next few weeks will bring.

I think what brought it all on was this past weekend we put the nursery together and I sat in there on Sunday in the rocker and just marveled at all the nice things our family and friends gave us and how beatiful his room is. Then I closed my eyes and remembered Ethan's nursery and how beautiful and nice it was. I just kept thinking Lord please let us have this child to raise here on earth ~ please Lord please!

I'm so thankful I have you all to vent and share this with. My husband knows how scared I am and is always reassuring me things will be ok ~ but sometimes he slips up and says things that show me he's scared too.

Elijah too, he's made comments like Mommy, I couldn't handle losing another brother! Awwwhhhh....I think were all so anxious and scared and feel like we have no control.

:confused: :eek: :(

[Marcus Momma]

i know its gotta be hard not to get scared after having a loss but I would just believe in God and trust that he would not want to hurt you or you family again, so believe he is going to give you the healthiest baby you could ever have. I will be praying that he eases your worries and that you and the baby will be safe and happy. And to a long life of the new baby bugging his big brother. Hugs.

[Charlene Lopez]

Your fears are perfectly normal, I had them as well and it's so hard to wait those last few weeks after a loss like ours. It's a scary thing, I just know everything well be alright. I'm keeping you in my prayers as I'm sure many others are.

[Shelly]

Dear Linda,
It's such a hard time. Sadly, we know all too well that there are no guarantees in life. This beyond your control.....all you can do is eat well, rest and attempt to maintain inner peace (probably the hardest part of all!).
I admire your faith...let it carry you through this difficult time.

I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace.
Shelly

[marylouise]

Linda, keeping you in my prayers and sending hugs

[motherofthree]

Linda,

I've been thinking about you and praying for you. Hugs...we are here for you.
Beth

[Amy Joy]

Linda, You and your family are in our thoughts. All will be ok, you have to believe that. There is a great saying from the book "The Secret". It says "think positive and positive things will happen" Im a true beliver in that. Remember too, your little guy feels all your feeling. So try to have only good thoughts. Lots of hugs and kisses.
Amy

[KEA's Mom]

Linda,
I'm keeping you and your little guy in my prayers. It won't be long now!! Hang in there:)

[linda]

Thanks everyone! I woke up this morning and asked God to take the pain and fear. To remove it completely from my days! I don't think I have ever asked Him to do that! Funny thing was as soon as I was done speaking to God lil' Mason kicked me something fierce! "Like ~ you go Mom! I cried and laughed! I will wake up each day and say the same prayer as I know tomorrow will bring it's own worries and I can not live for tomorrow only today!

[Lyssa Sauer]

Sweetie I know those fears and they still linger even when they are here safe sound beautiful and healthy. We know all to well tthe things that can happen and I remembered everyones stories here as I got closer and thought that could or would happen with Ely. Try and relax God will never give us more than we can handle and I am sure that you will soon be holding Mason in your arms and what joy he will bring to your broken heart. He wont replace Ethan in fact Ely makes me miss Payton even more but you will find some joy in this heartache that we will carry for the rest of our lifes. I will be praying for peace within yourself and also that Mason gets here safe and sound. Thinking of you and sending you my love and tons of HUGS !!

[motherofthree]

Linda,

I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you tonight...you have been on my mind. I just know that soon you will be holding your sweet boy Mason and honoring Ethan through your love for your newest addition. Ethan will be looking down on you, knowing that you would have loved him just as much. And Mason will always have a guardian angel watching out for him.

Beth

[Lindzy Foster]

Linda,
You know your always in my thoughts and prayers, I think of you almost daily and this journey were taking and how scary but yet fulfilling it is and looking forward to us having those new precious bundles in our arms....We've bought a lot of little things and clothing but i've yet to purchase any larger items, im just terrified even though i have nothing but good feelings that this baby is healthy....And boy do I know those feelings for the other little ones at home, im so scared that something would happen and my kids will have to feel that pain again, they are so hopeful but at the same time timid about the whole situation, i catch them saying to people"were having a new baby girl and praying that it doesnt die this time", my 6 yr old daughter gets on her knees and prays to God that her baby will come home for her to snuggle...its so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time......
Big hugs and love for you hun!

[Brooke]

Hi Linda,

What you are experiencing is completely normal. I had the same feelings. I think it has a lot to do that your in the home stretch now and so close to the end and want it to have happy ending. And it will. Trust in yourself and God. Soon you will be holding little Mason in your arms and sharing him with the rest of the world. Take care of yourself.

Love,

Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, Caden, &

[linda]

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

I get the daily reading from K-Love sent to me via e-mail each day! This was waiting for me this morning! I love it! Thank you God! I know you hear my prayers and my cries and I know that so many are praying for my family and my sweet baby Mason!

[linda]

Well were now at 37 1/2 weeks and truckin' along. I'm getting really excited and still nervous! I just want him here now! Something I hadn't thought about but probably need to focus on is "leaving" the hospital. The last time I left L&D it was empty handed. A good friend of mine here said she wasn't prepared for that and had a melt down at the hospital. So for the past few days I've been praying I will be ok and that the flood of emotions from that day won't overwelm me.

[Christine Barrack]

Linda,
Take deep breaths. You should be nervous. You are about to deliver a gift. The birth of all my children were very emotional times for me. Both scared and happy at the same time. After having an angel my next pregnancy and delivery was a roller coaster ride. I did break down and thought about all the what ifs as I held my second child. I felt he had a bond with my angel before him. So I told him so many things I wanted my angel to hear. I know she heard me. I know I was both sad and happy at the same time. What ever feelings you may have are right for you. Your friend will have her own emotions and way of dealing with them as well. Embrace the moment, treasure the path you are on. Share with your friend. I am keeping you in my prayers. Can't wait to see the babe...it won't be long now!!

[Marcus Momma]

We will all be praying for as your due date approachs. And your know we will all be praying for you the day before and the day you deliver him. We all want him to be perfect and for your to walk out of L&D with a fat cheeked baby in your arms and never have to turn around. With a smile on your face and knowing Ethan is with you and Mason smiling and playing with his baby brother and you know he would be so happy to see you happy and to see his baby bro Mason.

[motherofthree]

Kinda, I am getting so excited for you as your due date creeps closer! I can't wait to see pictues of little Mason, and the joy on your face as you are holding him. I would love to see a pic of the two of you together. Praying for you, and thinking only posistive thoughts,

[Lyssa Sauer]

Linda hon how are ya doing? I know you are getting very close and anxious I am sure. I am keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers daily. Remember you are going to have mixed emotions and that is okay. I still do today. Mason will bring so much joy to your life and he will also raise the what ifs had Ethan been here. I am so excited to see and meet the little guy! I am still praying that you are findind some comfort within all the swelling. Let me know if you need anything? Are they gonna induce you or just wait for you to go into labor? I got my doc to induce me lol I just couldnt wait any longer. Good luck honey sending you tons of hugs and love to carry you thru the next couple weeks!

[linda]

I'm having lots of contracts tonight and did some "nesting" today! Uttohh... :) My back is killing me and I'm thinking sooner than later, but don't want to get to excited.

Yesterday at my NST his heart rate dropped to 106 and they sent me to L&D. Of course he was a champ after that but the doctor wanted to know how the contractions felt? As they were 2 minutes apart for the entire hours they monitored me. I said on a scale from 1 to 10 a 1. She checked me and nothing to big to report, she said he was still pretty high but I was very soft. What does "soft" mean?

[Carlin Getz]

She means that your cervix is softening...which is good. It means your body is getting ready for your little one's arrival. I will be praying for you as your time draws near. :)

[Lyssa Sauer]

Carlin is right it just means that you are getting close, when you start to soften it means your cervix is ready for delivery and you should start diolating before long! Good luck sweetie praying for a safe and fast delivery so you can get Mason here safe and sound and we can all meet the little man! hugs hon

[Tasha Nicholls]

Hang in there, Linda.... I'm hoping sooner than later, too... I know it's tough at this stage of the game, and that's without all the added stresses you've had. I'm so excited for you and am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you go through these last days. You're almost there!!! :) :) :)

[Deb Stoner]

whoooo, whooooooo!

[Christine Barrack]

You're on your way and your body is getting prepared for the big arrival. I will be thinking of you.

[momofanangel]

It means that your cervix is softening in preparation for dialating. I'll be praying for you.

[linda]

After our final growth scan last week I think we've decided I will try to go natural. If complications arrise then they'll take him C-Section. Of course the doctor says I can change my mind any time but I think I'm going to give it a shot. I don't think I ever shared why the C-Section but with Elijah my 9 yr old he was apgar 1 and only improved to 3 and then 5. He had shoulder Dystocia. In addition I had complication (if you know what I mean) from birthing such a large baby for my body. Elijah was only 8 lb 3 oz but big for me. Baby Mason is no where near his size and the radioligist doesn't think he'll be much bigger than 7 lbs. and has "average" shoulders. Elijah came out lookin' like he was ready for football. LOL :)

Still having lots of contractions and this time it feels like back labor. My back is killin' me. I'm up and moving though my swelling has gone down. Could he have been on a vein causing the low circulation? Mmmm.... who knows ~ all I know is I'm ready.... Momma wants her baby here. I packed his diaper bag last night, the day before got the car seat checked to be sure it was installed right. Now all I need to do today is back my bag. The house is ready all his things are washed and ready to go. I'll have to take some pictures of his nursery and share them. We did a jungle theme. It's really cute.

Thank you all so much for all the prayers I've needed them as all of you know.

[Lindzy Foster]

YAY!!!! im so excited for you! i cant wait to see this little guy! keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

[Marcus Momma]

I am glad you have everyting ready for him. We can't wait to see pictures of him. We will be praying for a safe delivery. Good Luck!!

[motherofthree]

I am so excited wth you. And I'm so impressed that you are being so strong waiting...I think since I have to have a c-section, I'll probably just ask the doctor to take my next out as soon as it's safe. I'm going to be so scared! But you have SO MANY people praying for you and sending love and strength your way. Can't wait to see your beautiful youngest boy!!!!

[Christine Barrack]

Linda,
How ya doing? If you aren't in labor yet get out the strawberry shortcake! Thinking of you.

[Gma Kimmie]

Sweet Linda, I cannot relate to what you must be going through, and it does sound natural...

What has worked for me is to Give it to the Lord and He will wrap His arms around you and your family and you WILL feel the comfort.

HUGS and you are in my prayers.

Blessings

[Christine Barrack]

Linda,
How are you doing? I have been thinking of you so much today. Praying for you. Hang in there.

[Tasha Nicholls]

We're all thinking of you, Linda!!! Please post an update when you get a minute. :)

[linda]

Well baby Mason has arrived and Mommy and baby are GREAT! Mason was born yesterday at 0559am. My water broke at 11:30 on Monday and we went straight in. We decided to go for a regular labor and see what happened. I didn't start to dialate so by 4pm Monday they started pitosine....Lord help me....I labored all night and finally had him yesterday, May 29th, at 0559. He weights 6 lbs 4 oz, 19 1/4 in long and is as cute as a button. Give us some time to get pics uploaded and we'll attach them. Kirk isn't a photographer but he snapped away at our special day!

Thank you all so much for all the prayers and thoughts...I couldn't have done this w/o YOU! I have a great story to share later but right now gotta get to feedin' the little man!

[Rayna']

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tasha Nicholls]

Yay!!!!...Congratulations!!! I'm so thrilled for you!!! I can't wait to see your darling little man!

[Jayme]

Congratulations!! I can't wait to see pictures.

[Christine Barrack]

Linda,
I have goosebumps! Congratulations on the new arrival. I am so happy for you. Thanks for taking the time to update us. Enjoy this time and post pics when you are up to it.
Bless you and your family!

[Lindzy Foster]

Congrats!!!!!! im so excited to see pics Linda and so happy for you and your family! I wish you could see the gigantic grin on my face!!! lol.....give that lil man some extra kisses from all of us!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!

[asquad]

Amen!!

[KEA's Mom]

I too have goosebumps! I'm just thrilled for you. God bless your new little guy:)

[Jen Eagan]

Yay!!! I can't wait to see him!! Congrats!

[jletkeman]

Congrats!!!

[Lisa Wallace]

pics, pics, pics! :D

[Jessica VV]

Congrats!! Can't wait to see pictures of the lil' peanut!

[marylouise]

Linda, how wonderful for you all. Sending blessings and hugs.

[linda]

Here ya go...

[linda]

Ok, so I didn't realize it would open like that but I hope you all don't mind looking at them in a file like that...I'll try in the morning to upload them individually.

[marylouise]

Linda, he's so cute. Can't believe all that hair!! Elijah and Dad look so proud, and I'm sure Ethan is smiling down on his little brother.
How are you feeling?
Hugs
PS the files open find for me.

[Tasha Nicholls]

Here, Linda :)

[Tasha Nicholls]

Sepia tone...

[linda]

Thanks Tasha! One of my favorites is the one with Elijah holding him. His eyes are open and he's smiling at him. These were all taken within the first hour.

[Tasha Nicholls]

These were all taken within the first hour.

Wow... he looks fantastic!

He is such a cutie pie... I really, really hope that I get to snuggle him when I come out! :D

[linda]

You can! I can't wait to help chaparone lol I mean car pool!

[Lisa Wallace]

He's adorable! And your older son is so handsome...

[KEA's Mom]

He is so beautiful. I'm so happy for all of you.

[Jayme]

He is gorgeous! I also love the one where Mason is looking up at Elijah. Elijah has such expressive eyes! What a proud big brother and well he should be!

[Rayna']

sweetest thing ever~ congrats~!

[momofanangel]

Congratulations on your beautiful baby.

[Vicki]

Linda,
You are now surrounded by a BIG OLE BUNCH of good-lookin' men!!! Wow, you have a very beautiful family (including you too, of course!) Congratulations ! ! !

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." ~ Elizabeth Stone ~

[Margaret Hatcher]

I am so excited for you! God bless all of you! They are beautiful images of a beautiful family!

[Lindzy Foster]

Oh my gosh he is so handsome! and Elijah is such a proud big bro, i love the photo of the two of them its perfect! You have a beautiful family Linda!

[Lyssa Sauer]

Oh honey how adorable looks like he has chubby cheeks! I am so glad Mason is here with us safe and sound! Such a blessing. I wish I was there to give you and him a big hug and kisses for baby! How are you feeling? The pictures are wonderful! Get some rest when you can you are gonna need it!LOL Love ya sweetie

[Brooke]

Linda,

Congrats!!! I'm so glad that Mason made his arrival into your family and is doing well. Enjoy this time with him as they grow up way to fast!!!! Take care of yourself. You labored for a long time, just as I did with my first two boys, it is exhausting to your body so try to take good care of yourself and recoup!!!

Love,

Brooke

[Jen Eagan]

Wow... he looks fantastic!

He is such a cutie pie... I really, really hope that I get to snuggle him when I come out! :D

I CALL DIBS ON THE BACKSEAT!! LOL, j/k. But I can't wait to meet him too!!!

[dfelton]

AWWW! Congrats! He's just perfect! :) Enjoy your baby moon! :)

[motherofthree]

Linda,

Words cannot express how happy I am for you and your family. Your youngest son is so beautiful. I love seeng the picture of Mason and his big brother! He looks so very very proud. I know your special angel is with you in spirit, too. You have a beautiful family!!!

Beth

[Marcus Momma]

Wow he is gorgeous. I think he looks so much like my Marcus it brings tears to my eyes looking at him. Congratulations!!!

[JenniferBrown]

Linda,

He is so beautiful! One thing I noticed.... you talked about the Butterfly lanyard and the NILMDTS ones too, during your L&D. Well guess what.... Mason has "Angel kisses" on his eyes. Not sure if you ever knew what those are but when I had my daughter she had reddness on her eye lids and I asked my ped. He said they are called Angel Kisses... before the child is born it is said that their "Angel" kisses them just before they pass through the birth canal. Sweet huh!

He's so handsome! I'm so happy for you.

I can't wait to meet him, too!!! He IS coming with you for training, right? ;)

[Marcus Momma]

Big Brother looks so happy to be holding his baby bro!! And he looks so relaxed while you are holding him!!

[Jessica VV]

Linda---he has alot of hair---wow. What a handsome lil' man he is!!

Congrats!

[linda]

Thanks Jennifer now I'm a ballin' he does have angel kisses then! I didn't even think to ask. :)

Jen, that's funny ~ you can have the back seat on the way there and Tasha can have it on the way home. How many kids do I have??? lol!!

Jessica boy does he have hair and the saying still stands about heartburn!!

[linda]

Thank you everyone for all your sweet comments! We feel so blessed to be home with our son and I know all your love and prayers have brought him here!

[JenniferBrown]

Do all of us 'Aunties' get to hold him when we all meet in Denver? ;)

[linda]

Sure do! :) I'm sure he'll love that ~ he loves to be held!

[Estrella]

Sorry I am so late, but wanted to say, Congratulations! Mason is beautiful! Your family is beautiful! Ethan is watching you all proudly! God Bless!

[Hailey's Mommy]

Congratulations Linda...he is sooo cute...I love all the pics

[linda]

Updated of lil' man - who by the way isn't so little anymore! Can you believe it's been 6 months on the 29th...Mercy sakes!

Who needs a "paci" when you have daddy's hands.

[Vicki]

I love the third one . . . it almost looks like that is HIS hand in front of him . . . A BIG OLE hand!!! LOL
Plus you gotta love that pout!

Mason is getting HUGE Linda . . . you'll have to pull him around in a wagon!

[linda]

:) lol yes he's got the pout down! Poor kid!!

[Vicki]

You know what Linda . . .

I just went back to the beginning of this post and re-read . . . what an incredible journey you have been on . . . what a huge joy you now have in Mason. No doubt Ethan is right there in the mix of boys that you have in that house (you poor out numbered woman!) . . . I think there is something pretty powerful in your journey . . . pain, anguish, sorrow, loss . . . then being pregnant again and all the anxiety that must have accompanied you through those months . . . and now Mason, healthy, beautiful . . . BIG!
WOW . . . mind twisting to think about it all. Thanks for sharing all of that with us Linda, including the new pics . . . keep em coming!

Vicki

[linda]

Thanks Vicki - I couldn't say it better! Ethan was and is with us every step of the way -