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Charlene Lopez
10-16-2005, 03:36 PM
Daniel was a very special and we couldn't wait for him to be a part of our family. As soon as we learned we were pregnant with him we told everyone, we couldn't wait one moment to share with the world that we would be proud parents. As soon as we learned we were having a boy we wanted to name him. After much deliberation we named him Daniel, he was already known to us and our friends and family so he was a member of the family long before he physically came into the world.

Looking back now, I relish those days before he was born. I didn't know at the time, but that was it, that was the only time we would have to share his heartbeat and movements, it was wonderful, he was so very loved and he made us so happy.

My husband and I tried for 3-4 years to become pregnant with him. We were taking fertility medicine and thinking about the next possible steps to conceive when we finally learned we were pregnant with him in July of 2004, we were ecstatic. We had a very normal pregnancy. I even exercised daily doing prenatal yoga and walking. I felt great; everyone said I looked wonderful, glowing and happy. All of the ultra sounds and tests showed that he would be a perfect, healthy little boy.


In my 5th month there was some light bleeding and we were told it was placenta abruption, nothing to worry about and to resume my normal activities after a few days of rest. 2 weeks later there was another episode of bleeding that was much more severe. I was put on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. There was no more bleeding and the remaining tests and ultra sounds were all normal so we began to relax and prepare for his arrival.



We had a baby shower, put together is beautiful room, happily washed and put away little outfits, sock, hats, blankets. We were stocked up with diapers, lotion, bottles, car seats, the whole works. Daniel had everything he needed and so many people to love him.



My water broke around midnight on Wednesday, March 24th; it was the 38th week. We were immediately concerned because there was tons of blood and clots. We were at the emergency room within 20 minutes and were put on monitors only to be reassured that everything was fine, his heartbeat was fine, again, nothing to worry about. Around 5:00am Thursday morning his heartbeat stopped, the nurses came rushing in, repositioned me and his heartbeat started up again. Once again we were told everything was fine, nothing to worry about. At 6:30 his heartbeat slowed way down again so they decided to do an emergency c-section.



He was out within minutes and looked perfectly pink with big blue eyes but he never cried. I was so worried something was wrong, wasn’t he supposed to cry? I got to look at him briefly, he was so beautiful, and then they rushed him away for tests. I never got to hold him. A couple of hours later they said he needed to be rushed to Children’s Hospital where they would be able to get him stable. He was in an incubator with tubes everywhere so I still couldn’t hold him. He had low blood pressure and slowed brain activity due to not enough oxygen and too much blood loss during labor. Over the next several hours they learned that none of his organs were functioning, he was only being kept alive by life support.



My sister who had a relationship with Sandy from Expressions Photography asked her to come take pictures of Daniel for us that day because he wouldn’t be there the next day. She was so kind to make the time out of her busy schedule and she took several pictures. Even though there were tubes and wires everywhere, they are the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. Pictures of his tiny feet, hands, nose….he looks perfect, he's absolutely beautiful. For a moment we were just a family having our portraits taken. That night, he was taken off life support and our future suddenly ended.



The next day Sandy put together a beautiful DVD of the pictures she took set to “Daniels Song” by Elton John. It was amazing and we watched it over and over. We shared it with our family and friends. He is our beautiful son, we are so proud of him and now we have a wonderful way to show him off and to see him whenever we want. We played the DVD during the memorial, it was a beautiful celebration of who he was and everyone was moved by it.



We were later able to go in to the studio and choose whichever pictures we wanted of him from the only day we had with him. We chose several pictures for our home as well as some to give as mother’s day gifts and some to carry with us as we go about our days. We’re so grateful to have these beautiful memories of Daniel; they are helping us heal. We can see him anytime we want. We can show him off to others. He may not be in our arms, but he’ll always be in our view and in our hearts.

As time goes on we realize what an impact having these pictures has made in our lives and in our healing process. We have Daniels pictures around the house, we pull them out of our wallets and share them with everyone. My husband carries a "brag book" with him everywhere he goes. What an amazing gift from my sister and what an amazing organization that Cheryl and Sandy have grown together. It's more than the pictures, it's the support, the understanding and the friendships as well.

Cheryl Haggard
10-18-2005, 01:54 AM
Charlene, Thank you again for sharing your story...
I want you and Ken to know that I say a prayer for Daniel's brother or sister every night. (Even though I really think he'll have a sister...;) ) -Cheryl

Cheryl Haggard
03-24-2008, 09:22 PM
Charlene,
Wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your little boy Daniel. I hope today, thinking of Daniel, brought you tears of peace and pride. Thank you both again for entering into my life.

In case anyone is wondering, it was baby Daniel, after Sandy photographed him and his mom and dad, that Sandy and I came together and formed NILMDTS.

Blessings to you Charlene and Daniel's big sister Jasmine..

Cheryl Haggard
03-24-2008, 09:25 PM
You can see Daniel's images here:

http://www.nowisleep.com/showthread.php?p=34990#post34990

linda
03-24-2008, 10:18 PM
Charlene,

Your son is beautiful! Thanks for sharing his story with us. I had not read it before ~ I just got done reading it and feel so blessed to have gotten to know your little man. I bet he's had the best 3rd birthday even in Heaven!!

Marcus Momma
03-24-2008, 10:49 PM
He is so beautiful.

carissa13
03-24-2008, 10:54 PM
Charlene ~ thank you for sharing your story......... the pictures of Daniel are beautiful!
Happy 3rd Heavenly Birthday Daniel

Kathy Schneider
03-24-2008, 11:34 PM
Happy 3rd birthday Daniel! I hope you had a peaceful day Charlene. Keeping you in my prayers.

Charlene Lopez
03-24-2008, 11:38 PM
Cheryl,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel truly indebted to you and Sam for all you have done. I can't believe 3 years have gone by since we met, what an amazing organization you two have created. I'm so proud of you and of Daniel for being a part of it all. I miss him terribly, he has made me stronger and I feel his spirit and love with me every day. His sister Jasmine made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up today with suprise. We were driving in the car to go pickup balloons for our regular birthday tradition for him and she said "Hi Angel! Mommy see the angel?! I always feel like he's with me, maybe today he was shining extra bright for his little sister?

I finally got my tatoo, it was my 40th birthday gift to myself. I somehow always associate Daniel with ladybugs, I see them everytime I'm sad or thinking of him, or doing fun things as well. Even today, there was one at the park where Jasmine was playing on the slide with her cousin. It's a tatoo of a ladybug sitting on Jasmine flowers. My friend designed it for me to honor both of my children. I'm trying to attach it to this message so I hope it comes through.

Today was a rollercoaster of emotions, but I'm so glad I can still see him anytime I want with these wonderful photos. As a matter of fact, I'm getting ready to go sit down now and watch his video probably a few times along with a box of kleenex.;)

krockwood
03-24-2008, 11:38 PM
Charlene

My nephew James Carr Lundy Rockwood died from due placenta abruption. I read your story and tears came to my eyes because it is almost identical to my nephew's death. Thank you for sharing your story

Kirsten

Cheryl Haggard
03-25-2008, 01:24 AM
Charlene,
LOVE the tat...
:D

Tammy
03-25-2008, 07:10 AM
HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY DANIEL~:)
Charlene,
Thinking of you and Daniel today~ you both have made such a difference in the lives of so many. For me, you both helped me find hope, courage and the strength to move forward, even when I did not feel like it. Thank you for that~
May Daniel know (which I know he does) how much he is missed and loved by all of us.

Your tatoo is beautiful. Something I have wanted to do but have not found the courage yet. Not the actual tatooing itself (been there, done that) but the meaning of it~ maybe some day. :o

KEA's Mom
03-25-2008, 09:49 AM
Happy 3rd birthday Daniel! Your son is beautiful, Charlene.
God Bless,

Lyssa Sauer
03-26-2008, 08:34 PM
Happy 3rd Birthday Daniel.