Anthony Jr.'s 1st Heavenly Birthday!

[Estrella]

I miss my baby boy with all my heart....my soul is broken....my life is changed....

somedays...but not all....I still want to crawl in a hole and die and my heart physically hurts...

everyday.... I think of Anthony Jr.....and wonder what he would have been like, and wish so bad he was here with me...

Yes, I still ask "Why?" and "What if?" but I know I will have to wait for my answers....till I hold him in my arms again...and then it will not matter....

I love my baby boy more and more everyday....

I have a broken heart because of him....but I thank God for giving him to me...."my Angel of my tears".....

Thank you to my nilmdts family for helping me through...you have been here to help me get through some of my loneliest days. God bless each of you!

Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven, Anthony Jr.!!!!!
You are loved and missed eternally....
I hope you enjoyed your day!

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0283.jpg

Ant's big sissy Des wrote this poem for him...She had a very hard day, she misses him so much
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0282.jpg

we still got him a face cake!
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0284.jpg

and I got my tattoo!!!!!!! I love it! I will post better pics when it is healed up, but here is one for now!
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0357.jpg

[Estrella]

placing flowers in the hands of the Angel of Hope...
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0319.jpg

pink balloon for Ant's girlfriends!
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0321.jpg

I hope our babies had fun with the balloons!
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0322.jpg

Anthony's memorial flowers and brick
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0324.jpg

[Brooke]

Happy 1st Birthday Anthony! I hope you had a glorious day with my angel baby Emma and all the others up there. Send your mommy some butterfly kisses.

Estrella, thanks for sharing the pictures of your special day for your little boy Anthony. Looks like you had a bittersweet birthday celebration for him. I'm sure he is proud of all you did for him yesterday.

Love,

Brooke-Mommy to Carter, Ethan, Caden, &

[Marcus Momma]

Wow you put together such a great memorial for your sons birthday. He would be so proud of you. The tattoo is awesome I am wanting to get one with Marcus' face on it.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Estrella,

So very very beautiful. I hope you were able to experience some peace today. Ant is a very special little boy. You should be proud.
Happy Heavenly Birthday, little man.
(((HUGS)))
C

[Estrella]

Thank you ladies!

Cheryl, I did find some peace, I think! Getting my tattoo done was an amazing experience...I watched him the whole time....while he was tattooing those beautiful lips, I could feel myself touching them:(...I could feel that touch I yearn for...that sweet button nose....it was very emotional and YES! peaceful! I am very happy and proud of all that I did for Anthony's birthday.....but still always wanting more....(((HUGS 2U))) Thank you for all you have done! Without you, Cheryl, where would I be???????

[linda]

Happy Happy Birthday big guy! Estrella sorry I didn't see this last night!

[motherofthree]

Love the cakes, love the tattoo, beautiful ceremony with the balloon release. The tatto is amazing! I want to get a similar one, but you have to be picky to find an artist that will do that good of a job. I am glad you have a pretty nice day. You are such a wonderful mother to your little Anthony. Thank you for sharing your celebration with us.

[Estrella]

I wanted to share this picture that Carissa took for me around 8:28pm (time of his birth) on Ant's birthday! Although, it might belong in the "Portraits of our Grief" section.....:(



http://a51.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/62/l_8e3e2d06937dbb11801d014494d2fc72.jpg

[linda]

Beautiful!

[Estrella]

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0440-1.jpg


http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0419.jpg

not sure what the darker spot is??? the 3 balloons are just to the right, little tiny dots...
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/101_0438.jpg

[Lindzy Foster]

Very touching photos Estrella, i teared up at the one Carissa took....what a beautiful memorial for Ant, the cakes are all gorgeous...

[motherofthree]

Baby angel in the clouds...
Wow...

[Cathy]

Estrella
I am so glad that you had such a nice day
I love the Cakes and the balloons andmost of all teh Tattoo it is just beautiful
Cathy

[Estrella]

YES!!! That's Our Angel Baby, in the clouds!!!

Cathy, thanks for the comment about my tattoo! I thought of you and Torian many times throughout the day! I was wearing the pin you made me for Oct. 15th!!! Love you....I'm hear for you....thinking of you always!

[Cathy]

I see Anthony in the clouds
I also saw the pink balloon in the pic I know Torian was with Anthony for his birthday. send me some more pics of the tattoo I love it
Cathy

[Estrella]

Cathy, give me a few more days, it's almost all healed up! I will send some to you and post some here too! I really think it is AMAZING!!!

[Brooke]

Yes, I see the baby in the clouds, how neat!!!

Brooke

[Estrella]

I was taking pics of balloons in the sky(Desiree and I released these 3 balloons on the 4th, with letters written on them)...my camera was zoomed all the way in...I decided to zoom out and take a pic, just to see if I would be able to see the little dots in the pic...I cant see the balloons...but I was and still am, amazed at what I do see!!!

The second pic, I think the white clouds seem to form some kind of Angel, or bird, depending on how you see it...

and that dark spot on the 3rd pic?????? It's not in any of the other pictures.

[MichelleS]

The cakes are beautiful and the balloons are a great idea. You put a wonderful memorial together for your angels birthday. I totally love the tattoo. It looks awsome. Also, i love the pic where your sitting on the ground looking at the angel. It is so heart wrenching. Hope you had a peacefull day. (((Hugs)))
Michelle

[Lyssa Sauer]

Your TATTOO is AWESOME. Love it you need to get it up on myspace!!!! Those are beautiful and amazing pictures and yes that was an angel you seen in the sky! Love ya

[kattie05]

I sorry for your lose and we did the same thing when we buried London and you gave me a wonderful idea for his first birthday because my mother-in-law wants to do something in memory of London but I though it was a bad idea until I saw want it done for you and the family.

[Estrella]

here's my tatt again, but all healed up! I am loving it! and all the comments I get about my beautiful baby boy!!!



http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/myspace%20pics/101_0720.jpg

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/myspace%20pics/101_0723.jpg

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/star3_photos/myspace%20pics/101_0724.jpg

[motherofthree]

Beautiful!!!

[KEA's Mom]

Estrella,
I just visited your memorial site for your son. It's just beautiful. Your love for him shines in everything you do.

[Estrella]

Thank you very much! I change it up often, so please visit again...and maybe you could light a candle for Anthony Jr., and to let us know you were there!!

I thought about it after reading your reply.....This time last year I was setting it all up. I opened Ant's site on 7/05/07 :( It's been quite a year.......

[Marcus Momma]

That tattoo is perfect I plan on getting one on my leg sometime.

[Jessica VV]

Beautiful tattoo--I love all of the detail.