Our story

[A&JPearce]

Hello, my name is Allison and my husband is Jared. I found out I was pregnant in mid July and that is where the journey began. My pregnancy went very well. No complications that I knew of. At 22 weeks I had my first ultra sound and the doctor stated they did not get a good picture of the four chambers of the heart. The doctor told us not to worry, this could be for several reasons. At that time we found out the baby was a boy, and named him Vincent Reed. Two weeks later I had another ultra sound and was told the pictures of the four chambers of the heart were "okay," but not great. They felt I had nothing to worry about and did not have me see a specialist at that time. January 1, 2006 we switched insurance which meant I had to switch OBGYN's. My new doctor wanted me to have another ultra sound to see how big the baby was. At that ultra sound the radiologist felt the heart was abnormal and asked the doctor to look at it. The Doctor agreed and that day we went to see the pediatric cardiologist. I was about 33 weeks or so along. We were told our baby had a cardiac abnormality called a cushion defect. The Cardiologist also stated he could not see Vince's aorta. He stated this could be because Vince was so developed and his bones were dense. The defect we knew he had was correctable by surgery. The other issue was that 70% of babies with this heart defect have downs syndrome. I had not had an amnio, but I did have the triple screen done, which was normal.

On March 28, 2006 I was induced and ended up having a c-section. The doctor stated when he was born that he looked great and did not seem to have downs. Vince was breathing on his own and everything was great! Two hours later the Doctor had completed the echo and told us it was worse than they thought. The Doctor stated Vince's aorta was 1/4 normal size and not functioning. This along with the cushion defect did not leave us with many options, and the surgery was not one of them.

After much discussion and research my husband and I made a decision not to do anything and cherish the time we would have with Vince. While we were in the hospital NILMDTS came and took the most amazing photo's of Vince and the family. I can not express how much it meant to us to be able to have these special memories. We stayed at the hospital until April 4, 2006. On that day we took Vince home and with the help of Hospice were able to make him comfortable. On April 5, 2006, Vince died in my arms. During the week he was alive he met all of our friends and the family. Vince was loved by all he came in contact with during the short week he was alive.

[Kirk Kief]

Allison and Jared,
My prayers and thoughts are with you and Vincent. Thank you so much for sharing your most touching story with the rest of us, and thank you for posting an image of little Vincent. He is most handsome and adorable. I pray that you will be able to find some comfort in the images, and I pray you ask for help as often as you feel a need for a shoulder to lean on, or a hand to hold here in the Froum. You are surrounded, and supported by a very special group of families and photographers.
God Bless Vincent and the rest of your family.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Allison and Jared,

Vincent is such a beautiful baby. It was such an honor for us to be able to meet him, and you, his family. THANK YOU for sharing him with all of us. Thank you also for sharing your story. I know it is so hard in the beginning. Please know that we are all here for you, and I am always available by telephone. Please do not hesitate to call if you should need anything, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on, (via telephone.) Don't let anybody tell you when and how to grieve. Take your time. You will probably find that you and your husband will be on different time frames. After Maddux died, Mike was the only person I wanted to be around. I needed him desperatly. You and Jared need to take this time, also. Lean on eachother. You will find that when you are down, he will be your support, and when he is down, you in turn will be his support.
I pray that the people you meet here online, will help you through your healing journey. There is alot of wonderful people and information listed on these pages...

Vincent has always been in my prayers, but it is important for you to know that you and your husband are in my prayers also.
Many blessings,
Cheryl

[Martin Comiskey]

Allison and Jared,
Thank You for sharing your photo of Vincent with us. He is a very good looking boy. I will pray for you, your husband and family. Remember if you feel like talking there are people here who want to listen.
Martin

[Deb Stoner]

Allison, Jared, and Vincent,
I am shedding tears for you all at this very moment. Vincent is such a cute little guy. I am so glad that you got to spend time with your little boy and that he got to see his home. Allison, Vincent surely knew he was loved when you carried him in your belly, next to your heart. Now he knows that deep love will continue deep in your hearts forever. I hope that you are able to find some small comfort through the support system on this site. Thank you for sharing your Vincent with us.

[Erica Stone]

I'm so very sorry you lost your little boy. I hope you will find that there are people here to give you understanding and support when you feel alone or that nobody else knows how you are feeling. Some of our losses are fresher than others here, but we all have experienced a profound loss in our lives and I have personally benefitted from the words of others. By sharing your son and your experience with us you help us deal with our own experiences as well. I'm so glad that this organization was there for you - I know you will cherish the photos of Vincent forever.

[Sandy "Sam" Puc']

Hello Allison and Jared,
I wanted to thank you for letting us share some of your precious time with Vincent. Although I have a special place in my heart for every family I work with, I can honestly say that the time that we spent with your family was so special. The Love in that room was so great. When you told us that your son was perfect in every way except that he had a broken heart, I thought my own heart would break.
With you permission I would be happy to post a few of the images that we took that night. I have selected a few that are so beautiful. Let me know if you would like me to post them.
With warm regard,
Sandy

[A&JPearce]

I would be honored to have any pictures posted that you want. All of the pictures were so beautiful!! Thanks for all of the support from everyone. My husband and I are now packing to go on vacation for a week. We are going to the Grand Canyon and Lake Powell. We feel these will be good healing places!! Speak with all when we retrun.

[Erin Jeppson]

I am always so amazed and humbled that families such as yours invite us to share in the precious time you have with your baby. As Sandy said, the love in that room was so strong, it was truly amazing.

Allison and Jared, thank you so much for sharing Vince with us.

(I also took the liberty of posting a few images of Vince...I adore the "I love you" with he did!)

Erin

[Andrea Hillis]

Allison and Jared, thank you for sharing your story and sharing Vincent with us. He is precious.

A.

[Tammy]

Allison and Jared~
My thoughts and prayers go out to you both, and your families. Vincent is truly a beautiful little person. Perfect in every way. As others have mentioned, please know that we are here to help you through your healing journey, and we will be here for you when ever you need us.
In my mind, I picture Vincent in Heaven with all our babies gathered around him, gently tickling his little tummy making him giggle and smile, then taking him by the hand and giving him the grand Heavenly tour.
Sometimes, thinking thoughts like this gives a sense of comfort and helps during those rough times.
Blessings to you both~

[A&JPearce]

Tammy, that is such a great way to think about Vincent in heaven, thank you. I is hard to imagine he would be one month today.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Allison,
I am posting this under your story from a post in another thread.
I can understand your frustration at seeing happy mothers with new babies, why they have theirs and you don't. I won't pretend to understand the anger or jealousy at seeing mothers with older children. I do though, understand the longing to hold your baby that you carried in your womb for 9 months, that you no longer have with you. I understand wanting to sleep all day, with the hope that you will dream of your baby. I understand waking up, with the hope that our reality was just a 'bad' dream. Only to have the pain rip through your heart again, knowing that it wasn't. All of us here are living in that 'bad' dream. There is no waking up. Some days are better than others, rephrase, some moments are better than others. This wasn't the way any of us planned our lives, or for that matter, the lives of our children. The pain us unreal. Those of us here, know that.
Please reach out to us here. Let us know when you are angry and hurting. Let us be the shoulder for you to cry on. Let us here, try to carry you.
And always know this, you are a mother. You have a son. A beautiful son. You have him to share with everyone. You have your beautiful Vincent to show to all of the world.
Here is a poem I would like to share with you: I hope in some small way, this helps...
(((((HUGS)))))
Cheryl


What Makes A Mother?


I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
Asked what makes a mother and I know I heard Him say, A mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother, when your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can. He replied with confidence in His voice. I give many women babies. When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, and others for a day. And some I send to fill your womb but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I heard Him say, "I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with other children and say,"

"I went to earth to learn a lesson of life and love and fear. My Mommy loved me, oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom who had so much love for me. I learned my lesson very quickly. My Mommy set me free."

I miss my Mommy, oh so much, but I visit her each day. And when she goes to sleep at night, on her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy, don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I am here.' "

So you see, my dear sweet one, your baby is okay. Your baby is here in My Home and this is where he'll stay. He'll wait for you with Me until your lesson with life is through. And on that day that you come Home, he'll be waiting here for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother... It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother, Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day, And know you're the best one.

Author Unknown

[A&JPearce]

That is such a beautiful poem! Thanks, that made me feel better.

[Megan Kitchin]

Allison,

What a beautiful son you have! And Vincent is such a strong name! My heart goes out to you and your family!

Megan