A 1st Birthday Party????

[Marcus Momma]

:confused: Is it ok to have a birthday party to remember my sons first bday? I know some people have done it but I don't know how it would work. I am thinking about doing it because I wanna do it for Marcus but I am not sure many people if any would come because they would feel uncomfortable and that would devastate me. I wanna share my sons short life with everyone. I love the way Carissa shared and celebrated Jarell's bday with her loved ones. What could I do at the birthday party or how would I explain it to people. They might think I am trying to act like he never died and not join us or just not know what to do. If they didn't feel right buying anything I thought about asking if they wanted to make small cash donations to purchase a stone in his name at that one place for mothers who have lost children to go and take a vacation with other mothers who know how they feel. (Sorry can't think of the name) I just don't know what to do.

[Jonathan@Angela]

What I do is get everyone together and just goof off and have fun. I show everyone that I am not morning him. We all go to the cemetry and release ballons. I attach a tag with Hunter's name, date of birth and date of entering heaven. Some write letters and the younger ones draw pictures and attach them. This year my three year old wants a birthday cake, so after we release ballons everyone will come back to my house and celebrate Hunter's life. The cake will have my three year old releasing the ballons in a wood area. A fawn will be in the background.(he was buryed in a shirt with a fawn on it). If you wants to send out invitations put on there you are invited to a CELEBRATION FOR MARCUS. Make it sound festive. That is what we are really doing, celebrating their life and the time we had with them. Maybe I am crazy and the way I look at it is a little strange but that is how I handle it. This all takes place tomorrow so please think about us. He was born at 6:19pm. That is when we will release the ballons.

[momofanangel]

My youngest son Nicholas wants us to get enough balloons for everyone in our church and have everyone let them go. It just so happens that Gracelynn's birthday is on a church night so we might do that. I imagine we will have a cake for us but I don't know that I will invite anyone else. I only have 5 weeks from tomorrow to get it all figured out. I would like to be able to finish her grave before then though.

[Jonathan@Angela]

I think it would be wonderful to have the church release ballons with you. The sight will be beautiful and I can understand you wanting to get the grave finished first. I will mark down Marcus birthday and know I will be think about you.

[MichelleS]

I think that a ballon release with your church is a wonderful idea. I always like to do something for Brandons special day. I usually get a cake, and cook a nice meal. I also spend some time that day at his grave. As for having a birthday party. That is not a bad idea. I had a party for my Brandons first birthday. It was actually kinda helpful, and healing. Whatever you do will be great.
Michelle

[Estrella]

on Ant's invitations I put a special birthday in Heaven poem....and said...a celebration on earth for our Angel in Heaven....

alot of people I invited, did not show up, I am sure because they didnt want to or know how to deal with it...

but everyone I knew really cared, was there, or tried to be....yes, it was a test...many failed...but the many important people passed with flying colors!!

The most important thing....do what YOU want to do....dont worry about what anyone else says or thinks.

by the way...Tasha Nicholls makes some wonderful donation/remembrance cards! I am sure she would love to help you out!

[carissa13]

Shawnna ~ first thing I want to ask you is, what do YOU want that day to mean, it is not for anyone else to decide but YOU. You love Marcus so why can't you celebrate that fact that he was with you and now lives in Heaven. It is his 1st birthday and you may be very surprised at how many people would love to join you in a celebration. Don't let it be about what you think others can handle or not handle. I to, along with Estrella had people not show up but the ones that love ME were there and were honored to be part of my special day. They never made it about them. But you need to give others a chance to do the right thing. What ever you decide will mean the world to YOU so plan something you feel is special, make it about you.

[linda]

Shawnna,

It is so important that you celebrate Marcus in the way you know he would love. If you want to celebrate his day with others than go for it. If you want it to be just your family than do that. But really it is what you and your family think is the best happiest thing to do for you all and him!!

We celebrated Ethan's first birthday here at the house....we wrote letters and released them on helium balloons. We BBQ and had cake and ice cream. The day was perfect!

This year we will actually be in CA visiting family so we won't get to celebrate till we get home. But again...we'll do the same thing we do for Elijah and now that we will do for Mason. We don't through big huge parties for Birthdays we keep it simple and sweet.

I know you'll do something great for your sweet baby!

[MelissaL]

Calypso's first birthday is on this Saturday. We're having a balloon release at the cemetery followed by an actual birthday party with food and cake at the park, I also have birthday banners and her picture will be at the party as well as some of her things.

I sent out invitations and just stated it's a memorial/birthday party. I also included some poems and little things like that in it

[motherofthree]

You could do it like a memorial service. Or just invite the people that you know will understand. I never had a memorial for Kavya, so was thinking about doing it for her first birthday.