My friends share grief also

[spidey935]

Recently my best man from my wedding lost his girl Sadie after 3 short days of life. Sadie was diagnosed with a problem before birth so they knew it would be a fight. His wife went into labor at 26 weeks and complications arose as expected. I talked to him the afternoon of his daughters birth and all seemed fine. I think he was in shock by the way he talked. He asked of my experience with what happened with my twin boys and how Louden passed. I was reluctant but told him anyway. I wanted to tell him that the worste was coming and be on edge. All I could say was to bewith Sadie as much as he could and have his wife transfered to her side as soon as possible no matter what the doctors told him.
My wife only got to spent 1 day with my son before he passed. We found out after he passed that she could have been with him longer. It haunts my wife every day to know that she could have been there longer. I didn't want my friend to have the same happen to him. I got a text message 3 days later saying she assed. I heard nothing after that for weeks. They had a private funeral and I have gotten a phone call a few days ago saying they are stillpretty rough. I totally understand!
My son, Landon is turning 2 tomorrow and it's just hitting me again about all the things that happen to me and my friend's duaghter. A little girl is buried a few graves down from us that got killed a week before my sons were born. We have been in support of the mother of the little girl and email often with her. There just seems to be a lot of death around us right now. I don't know what I should do or how to react. I can't be a good friend if I can't stop grieving for my son. I just needed to get this off my chest and see what others think.

[DanWhite]

Terry,

I am so sorry for your friend loss of dear Sadie. I also wish you Son Landen a happy Heavenly birthday.

Dan

[KEA's Mom]

Terry,
I'm so sorry for your friend's loss and the loss of your son as well. I think there is no better friend in a situation like this than one that has walked this sad and lonely road. When I lost my daughter Amanda, I didn't need my friends--I needed my immediate family and I needed time to grieve that initial horrible deep grieving. After a few months passed, I fould myself talking to a few people, in addition to this group. Still, 5 months later, I talk to those same people--the ones I have found to be the best listeners and those that do not disappoint me by offering me trivial comments in an effort to make me feel better. There's no feeling better in this situation and you understand that. You can check in on your friend, maybe use him as a sounding board at some point which may help him feel comfortable sharing his sorrow with you. I, too, have had several terrible tragedies occur and I, too, can not understand how all of this death is happening and so close together. I'm just trying to hang in there. I look into the eyes of my other two daughters and feel the love we have for one another and it carries my through. I'm thinking of you and your friend and hoping at some point you can offer comfort to one another. Take care,

[motherofthree]

Your understanding of your friend's loss is being a good friend. And perhaps letting them know that you still grieve, that their heartache now and in the future is "normal".

It helped me to know that there was someone who understood - that I could talk to and not have to expain myself - that had walked the path I had trod. I think that through your grief, you have to potential to be a better friend.

Praying for you,

[Christine Barrack]

I am so sorry to hear of Sadie's short time with her parents. And for the emotions and grief you are all going through right now.
As you know grief can be private, not even shared by those we know, for the fear expressing emotions with others or just wanting to keep it to yourself. Knowing you are willing and available for your friends brings them comfort. When they are ready you will be there. I think it is harder for the fathers to talk about or express how they feel and keep it inside more. Showing your grief and emotions with your friends, even if a little, will help them along this journey.
Happy Heavenly 2nd Birthday Landon. Know your mommy and daddy love you so very much. I'm sure Landon is celebrating his day with Sadie and all the other angels.
I will keep you all in my prayers that He may give you comfort.
Blessings,
Christine

[Tammy]

I too, am saddened by the news of your friend and his daughter Sadie. And, I can hear the pain in your words about your son~ my thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this time.
As you have probably read in many of the posts, we all deal with our grief in different ways. For some, keeping everything private is how they deal and cope. For others, sharing their stories about the love of their life with others as much as possible is how we cope. You and your friend still have a common ground~ and that is powerful because you can truly and fully understand what he and his family is going through now. Chances are, you have felt many of the same things he is feeling; you can be there to help him through this. Share with your friend things you went through, feelings you felt; let him know he does not have to carry his grief alone. You are most likely one of the best people he could talk to, because you yourself have been there.