Karla
04-30-2006, 08:39 PM
I am a new parent member to your site. Your service is truly amazing and blessed. I do not live in any of the countries that offer the service but certainly wish I did. I live in Trinidad in the Caribbean and read about you on msn. I am happy to have found you. Kirk Kief has generously offered to look at the few photos we have and see he can help us. Thank you Kirk.
Our little girl Cydney Paige came to us 13 years after our son, Willie. I felt that God was truly blessing me, I could not believe it, I was in the middle of studying for my final year law exams and realised I was pregnant. I was amazed and ecstatic. I was terribly sick with morning sickness off course and considered putting off writing the exams. However I realised I would lose all my fees so I struggled through. I wrote exams in June and then spent the rest of time preparing for Cydney Paige who was due in Nov. 2005. I had no problems once I got over the morning sickness. She was developing well and my doctor saw no reason to be worried. I made all her crib sheets, carefully selecting the materials to be used everything had to be perfect. By coincidence everything, her sheets, and sleepers all had little flowers and butterflies. I got results in September and found out that I had passed my exams, I now have a law degree. Everything seemed to be going great for me, All the pieces of the puzzle of my life seemed to be falling into place. Cydney Paige came an Nov. 7th 4:05 am. She was examined by the pediatrician who said that she was perfectly healthy. Ah the last piece of the puzzle finally fitted in.
I say thanks to this very persistent nurse who insisted that she did not like the color of my baby. Finally the doctor looked at her again and realised something was wrong. I never imagined it was something serious and went ahead with the decision to tie my tubes. How I regret this now. The next day a pediatric cardiologist diagnosed my daughter with a rare but lethal heart condition, Transposition of the Great Arteries. I had no idea what this was, no members of our families have any history of heart disease, how could this be? Our country does not offer surgery for this we had to get her out to Jacksonville Florida or Sick kids Toronto. In the mean time she had to be given a drug, prostaglandin to keep the flap open in her heart. Tragically our hospital's equipment are in a deplorable state and malfunctioned continuously. I spent five days with her hoping desperately that she would stabalise so we could fly out. In the meantime we struggled to find an air ambulance, get visas etc. I must say though that while it seemed that the world was opening and extending hands to us, the US embassy accomodated us at 5 p.m. and granted Cydney Paige a 10 year visa, our hospital failed us. Cydney Paige's condition deteriorated, to the point where we were asked to baptise her. I remember chosing the name Theresa as her baptismal name, only to learn after that Saint Theresa lived a short life. I never gave up hope, and decided I was going to come home and pack my bags to travel with her. The night before she died she was placed in ICU, she should have been there in the first place. I took my son to see her, she was awake for the first time. Eyes as bright as stars, how beautiful they were, we felt so happy, thinking she was getting strong enough to travel. She just kept gazing at us, looking at us, moving her eyes from one face to the next, caressing us with her eyes. How special I felt, she seemed to have been taliking to us with her eyes. Little did we know that she was saying goodbye. If only I knew, I would not have left. I left to get some sleep because I had to get back by 2a.m to take blood from her to a lab for tests, imagine the hospital could not do this! When I returned she was sleeping, but the doctor did not want to take anymore blood. I wanted to stay with her, but husband would not leave me alone and I knew that he was exhausted. Knowing that a nurse was with her all the time I decided to go. How I wish I did not, The moment I walked in the phone rang. They asked us to get back as soon as possible. I prayed all the way to the hospital hoping for that miracle. But to no avail. Cydney Paige returned to heaven at 3:15 am Nov. 12th. Why after 13 years? Why me? Why such a rare and lethal condition? I can't go on, I feel defeated and hurt to the very core of my soul, My heart has a huge hole and my body feels like lead. I know that I have to go on, but I don't want to. She was my hope, I even wanted to name her Hope. There's so much more to my story, that made it so right and fair that I should have had Cydney Paige in my life. I truly needed her, even my husband, who was having a rough patch in life, when he found out about the pregnancy, said that She was going to be the light he needed in his life. And my son, he so long wanted a sibling. He came to Toronto last summer and shopped for her, buying her so many little things, making plans of what a big brother will do. In his letter to her on the day of her service, he said how much he was looking forward to being the protective big brother, no boyfriends unless he approved:) . Why us, I ask many times. I am confused, I never imagined this, I only saw the hectic days ahead when she would have been here. Rushing to take Willie to activities and having to pack her up in the car seat. Now what do I do with the car seat?
There is so much more I want to share, I know that I have gone on for too long so I'll stop now.
Thank you for giving me this forum.
Karla
Our little girl Cydney Paige came to us 13 years after our son, Willie. I felt that God was truly blessing me, I could not believe it, I was in the middle of studying for my final year law exams and realised I was pregnant. I was amazed and ecstatic. I was terribly sick with morning sickness off course and considered putting off writing the exams. However I realised I would lose all my fees so I struggled through. I wrote exams in June and then spent the rest of time preparing for Cydney Paige who was due in Nov. 2005. I had no problems once I got over the morning sickness. She was developing well and my doctor saw no reason to be worried. I made all her crib sheets, carefully selecting the materials to be used everything had to be perfect. By coincidence everything, her sheets, and sleepers all had little flowers and butterflies. I got results in September and found out that I had passed my exams, I now have a law degree. Everything seemed to be going great for me, All the pieces of the puzzle of my life seemed to be falling into place. Cydney Paige came an Nov. 7th 4:05 am. She was examined by the pediatrician who said that she was perfectly healthy. Ah the last piece of the puzzle finally fitted in.
I say thanks to this very persistent nurse who insisted that she did not like the color of my baby. Finally the doctor looked at her again and realised something was wrong. I never imagined it was something serious and went ahead with the decision to tie my tubes. How I regret this now. The next day a pediatric cardiologist diagnosed my daughter with a rare but lethal heart condition, Transposition of the Great Arteries. I had no idea what this was, no members of our families have any history of heart disease, how could this be? Our country does not offer surgery for this we had to get her out to Jacksonville Florida or Sick kids Toronto. In the mean time she had to be given a drug, prostaglandin to keep the flap open in her heart. Tragically our hospital's equipment are in a deplorable state and malfunctioned continuously. I spent five days with her hoping desperately that she would stabalise so we could fly out. In the meantime we struggled to find an air ambulance, get visas etc. I must say though that while it seemed that the world was opening and extending hands to us, the US embassy accomodated us at 5 p.m. and granted Cydney Paige a 10 year visa, our hospital failed us. Cydney Paige's condition deteriorated, to the point where we were asked to baptise her. I remember chosing the name Theresa as her baptismal name, only to learn after that Saint Theresa lived a short life. I never gave up hope, and decided I was going to come home and pack my bags to travel with her. The night before she died she was placed in ICU, she should have been there in the first place. I took my son to see her, she was awake for the first time. Eyes as bright as stars, how beautiful they were, we felt so happy, thinking she was getting strong enough to travel. She just kept gazing at us, looking at us, moving her eyes from one face to the next, caressing us with her eyes. How special I felt, she seemed to have been taliking to us with her eyes. Little did we know that she was saying goodbye. If only I knew, I would not have left. I left to get some sleep because I had to get back by 2a.m to take blood from her to a lab for tests, imagine the hospital could not do this! When I returned she was sleeping, but the doctor did not want to take anymore blood. I wanted to stay with her, but husband would not leave me alone and I knew that he was exhausted. Knowing that a nurse was with her all the time I decided to go. How I wish I did not, The moment I walked in the phone rang. They asked us to get back as soon as possible. I prayed all the way to the hospital hoping for that miracle. But to no avail. Cydney Paige returned to heaven at 3:15 am Nov. 12th. Why after 13 years? Why me? Why such a rare and lethal condition? I can't go on, I feel defeated and hurt to the very core of my soul, My heart has a huge hole and my body feels like lead. I know that I have to go on, but I don't want to. She was my hope, I even wanted to name her Hope. There's so much more to my story, that made it so right and fair that I should have had Cydney Paige in my life. I truly needed her, even my husband, who was having a rough patch in life, when he found out about the pregnancy, said that She was going to be the light he needed in his life. And my son, he so long wanted a sibling. He came to Toronto last summer and shopped for her, buying her so many little things, making plans of what a big brother will do. In his letter to her on the day of her service, he said how much he was looking forward to being the protective big brother, no boyfriends unless he approved:) . Why us, I ask many times. I am confused, I never imagined this, I only saw the hectic days ahead when she would have been here. Rushing to take Willie to activities and having to pack her up in the car seat. Now what do I do with the car seat?
There is so much more I want to share, I know that I have gone on for too long so I'll stop now.
Thank you for giving me this forum.
Karla