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Karla
04-30-2006, 08:39 PM
I am a new parent member to your site. Your service is truly amazing and blessed. I do not live in any of the countries that offer the service but certainly wish I did. I live in Trinidad in the Caribbean and read about you on msn. I am happy to have found you. Kirk Kief has generously offered to look at the few photos we have and see he can help us. Thank you Kirk.
Our little girl Cydney Paige came to us 13 years after our son, Willie. I felt that God was truly blessing me, I could not believe it, I was in the middle of studying for my final year law exams and realised I was pregnant. I was amazed and ecstatic. I was terribly sick with morning sickness off course and considered putting off writing the exams. However I realised I would lose all my fees so I struggled through. I wrote exams in June and then spent the rest of time preparing for Cydney Paige who was due in Nov. 2005. I had no problems once I got over the morning sickness. She was developing well and my doctor saw no reason to be worried. I made all her crib sheets, carefully selecting the materials to be used everything had to be perfect. By coincidence everything, her sheets, and sleepers all had little flowers and butterflies. I got results in September and found out that I had passed my exams, I now have a law degree. Everything seemed to be going great for me, All the pieces of the puzzle of my life seemed to be falling into place. Cydney Paige came an Nov. 7th 4:05 am. She was examined by the pediatrician who said that she was perfectly healthy. Ah the last piece of the puzzle finally fitted in.
I say thanks to this very persistent nurse who insisted that she did not like the color of my baby. Finally the doctor looked at her again and realised something was wrong. I never imagined it was something serious and went ahead with the decision to tie my tubes. How I regret this now. The next day a pediatric cardiologist diagnosed my daughter with a rare but lethal heart condition, Transposition of the Great Arteries. I had no idea what this was, no members of our families have any history of heart disease, how could this be? Our country does not offer surgery for this we had to get her out to Jacksonville Florida or Sick kids Toronto. In the mean time she had to be given a drug, prostaglandin to keep the flap open in her heart. Tragically our hospital's equipment are in a deplorable state and malfunctioned continuously. I spent five days with her hoping desperately that she would stabalise so we could fly out. In the meantime we struggled to find an air ambulance, get visas etc. I must say though that while it seemed that the world was opening and extending hands to us, the US embassy accomodated us at 5 p.m. and granted Cydney Paige a 10 year visa, our hospital failed us. Cydney Paige's condition deteriorated, to the point where we were asked to baptise her. I remember chosing the name Theresa as her baptismal name, only to learn after that Saint Theresa lived a short life. I never gave up hope, and decided I was going to come home and pack my bags to travel with her. The night before she died she was placed in ICU, she should have been there in the first place. I took my son to see her, she was awake for the first time. Eyes as bright as stars, how beautiful they were, we felt so happy, thinking she was getting strong enough to travel. She just kept gazing at us, looking at us, moving her eyes from one face to the next, caressing us with her eyes. How special I felt, she seemed to have been taliking to us with her eyes. Little did we know that she was saying goodbye. If only I knew, I would not have left. I left to get some sleep because I had to get back by 2a.m to take blood from her to a lab for tests, imagine the hospital could not do this! When I returned she was sleeping, but the doctor did not want to take anymore blood. I wanted to stay with her, but husband would not leave me alone and I knew that he was exhausted. Knowing that a nurse was with her all the time I decided to go. How I wish I did not, The moment I walked in the phone rang. They asked us to get back as soon as possible. I prayed all the way to the hospital hoping for that miracle. But to no avail. Cydney Paige returned to heaven at 3:15 am Nov. 12th. Why after 13 years? Why me? Why such a rare and lethal condition? I can't go on, I feel defeated and hurt to the very core of my soul, My heart has a huge hole and my body feels like lead. I know that I have to go on, but I don't want to. She was my hope, I even wanted to name her Hope. There's so much more to my story, that made it so right and fair that I should have had Cydney Paige in my life. I truly needed her, even my husband, who was having a rough patch in life, when he found out about the pregnancy, said that She was going to be the light he needed in his life. And my son, he so long wanted a sibling. He came to Toronto last summer and shopped for her, buying her so many little things, making plans of what a big brother will do. In his letter to her on the day of her service, he said how much he was looking forward to being the protective big brother, no boyfriends unless he approved:) . Why us, I ask many times. I am confused, I never imagined this, I only saw the hectic days ahead when she would have been here. Rushing to take Willie to activities and having to pack her up in the car seat. Now what do I do with the car seat?
There is so much more I want to share, I know that I have gone on for too long so I'll stop now.
Thank you for giving me this forum.
Karla

Martin Comiskey
04-30-2006, 08:54 PM
Karla,

Thank You for telling us about your beautiful baby. You did not go on to long, I loved hearing about how much you all wanted her. I am sorry for your loss but greatful that you found this site and shared with us your inner feelings. Please post as often as you need, there are alot of us here who not only will listen but want to as well. I will be praying for you all.
Martin

Megan Kitchin
04-30-2006, 09:42 PM
Karla,

I am so saddened to hear your story and wish there were words I could say to soften your grief. Yet there are no words. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Cyndey Paige is a beautiful name!

To answer your question of how you go on, I can only say that one second at a time you just do. When my twin sons died, a woman I met told me to take life a second at a time...to set one goal for the day, whether it be to simply get out of bed, to take a shower or to do a load of laundry...everything else didn't matter. It has been a year and 9 months now and I can honestly say I take one day at a time still. Maybe someday I will be able to look ahead to the future.

Grayson and Zane are my blessings and I wake up each day because I know they would want me to. My life is better because they have been apart of it. I now have a 4 month old son, Graham, who has blessed my life and enabled me to feel that there is life and love beyond my grief. It touched my heart when you said your daughter was your hope. As weird as it sounds, Zane and Graysons' births and then deaths gave me the hope I eventually needed to go through fertility once again, to try one last time for the child my husband and I longed for. They gave us the hope we needed for Graham. Maybe your daughter's hope could bless your son! I hope that makes sense.

Another way to go on without your daughter would be to use your grief and your education to make life better, or should I say possible, for other little one's born with a critical condition; so that other parents are not put through the devastation of losing their child. Maybe work to affiliate your local hospital with a more advanced hospital which could help gather the resources needed. Just an idea.

If not that, try to find something positive she blessed you with in her short life and use that to help you get through the day.

Please know that you are not alone in your feelings of wondering how to go on! Knowing you have to is a first step. In ways, my life as I knew it ended when my twins died. I am a different woman now, as opposed to before they were born. So in a way, I started a new life and am figuring it out one day at a time. I no longer take life for granted and cherish every second I have with my Graham. For me and my husband, despite our devastation and grief, we have tried to look at our sons' brief lives as a positive. That sounds weird. I mean that the fact they existed in our lives is positive and we are better people because of their blessings. And every second they were with us was eternal!

As for the car seat...hold on to it until you are ready to part with it, then maybe you could give it to a family who isn't able to afford one of their own...a sortof gift from Cydney! Again, just an idea.

I hope this helps you in some way. If nothing else, remember that you are not alone and if you need anything we are here for you.

Kirk Kief
04-30-2006, 10:14 PM
Karla,
I can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your strength in sharing your story with us. Talking through the pain is one, tiny way of getting started. You are surrounded by many that are here for you. You, your husband, Willie, and of couse Cydney Paige are all in my thoughts and prayers. I feel so honored to be able to take your images to help you create some lasting memories. After reading your story, there are ome other items that I may need. I'll send you an email.
God Bless you
Kirk

A&JPearce
05-01-2006, 01:37 PM
Karla,

I am so saddend by your story. It makes me mad to think you did not have the doctors or facility to assist you. My son was also on prostaglandin to keep his flap open. He survived for seven short days and passed on April 5, 2006. I am so sorry for your loss. Our stories sound so similar. I thought everything was going great during my pregnancy, then all of a sudden the nurse did not like the way his heart looked in an ultrasound at 32 weeks. I was shocked that no one found this earlier. When our Vincent was born he was so perfect, I could not believe that there was anything wrong with him. I was so mad, sad, upset every emotion flew threw my body during the seven days we had him with us. I am still mad at the world thinking how can people have so many Children that are perfectly healthy and I don't have any with me to show off. I go shopping and get angry at the mother's with newborns or with several Children. I even get jeaulous at the people on this board who have any Children with us here on earth, because now I don't have any in this world right now. It is so hard to go through the days, but I just do. Keep yourself busy, I just joined the recreation center near our house so I could start taking off all this weight I gained! It is like I have nothing to show for the 50 pounds I put on in the nine and a half months I was growing my presious little angel in my belly! Well I am glad you are here on this board. Thanks for sharing and listening to me vent.

Cheryl Haggard
05-01-2006, 02:07 PM
Karla,
Thank you for sharing your story and daughter Cydney with all of us here. I am so glad that Kirk was able to get back with you regarding Cydney's images. I can't wait to meet her!!! I read your story twice, and I know that all of us here can share in most if not all of what you are feeling.
The night I lost Maddux, I also questioned 'How can life go on?'
I did not want life to go on. It wasn't fair! I would be angry because the Sun was shining, and in my world there was just complete darkness.
We all have to hold on to Hope and Faith. I have a strong belief that we will be reunited with our babies in Heaven again. And I hold onto this faith/belief very strongly. I truly believe that I would go insane if I didn't believe this! We greatly grieve the death of one of the greatest loves in our lives.
Take the advise here, and take each day, second by second. Know what is important, and what your priorities are. Know that your life will never be the same.
We are all here for you, to listen and give help, when needed.
Please consider becoming an active NILMDTS volunteer on your island and helping find photographers for other families.
I look forward to 'talking' with you more.
Blessings and Peace,
Cheryl

Tammy
05-01-2006, 06:12 PM
Karla,
Thank you for sharing your touching story about your precious little girl Cydney Paige. Please know that I too, along with the rest of us share in your heartache and hurt.
This isn't supposed to happen to you, or to any of us. And no, it's not fair. Sometimes we just want the world to stop.

But you know something? You brought Cydney's beautiful memory to life, by sharing her story with us. That is a wonderful thing to do for your daughter, to let the world know about her. It is here, where her memory will live on.

As many have said to me, our time on earth is so short, comapred to the eternity we will spend with our babies and loved ones when we are reunited with them.

Karla
05-02-2006, 10:27 PM
Thank you all for your kind and comforting words. I dread the next few days as my b/day is tomorrow and all I could really hope for is my beautiful daughter. I pray each day that I would find her again, I whisper her name a thousand times a day hoping for an answer. I know that I'm not alone, and having friends who understand the things we do as natural helps build strength and the will to get through each day, some with a smile:o

Cheryl Haggard
05-03-2006, 12:14 AM
Karla,
My birthday wish for you is...hope and peace. You live in such a beautiful place. After Maddux died, my husband and I flew to Jamaica for a few days, just the 2 of us. We needed that time alone, and it was so peaceful to sit in the sand and stare at the water and beautiful sunsets. Only one thing tops a beautiful sunset, and it's a baby. That sunset was a reminder that there are better and bigger things out there, beyond this world we live in. Waiting...

May you find hope...
May you find peace...
May your heart find joy again.

Cheryl

Kelly Story
05-03-2006, 07:33 AM
Karla,
Your story of your beautiful Cydney Paige moved me to tears. I know that times are hard now.

Please know that with each anniversary, birthday, or holiday that your little angel celebrates with you. As my daughter says about her upcoming graduation, "Papaw will have the best seat in the house and it will be such a wonderful day for him because there is no sadness in Heaven."

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Much Love,
Kelly Story

Perhaps they are not stars but, tiny openings in Heaven.

Erica Stone
05-08-2006, 10:30 PM
Karla - thanks for your kind words to my post about Matthew. I am so sorry about your little Cydney Paige. I know that you love her so much. I felt the same as you when my birthday came... it's normally a time that I love, but this year I thought, "What could I want more than to have my baby back?" I hope you were able to find some comfort in the day and every day as well. I can't wait to see her images - I have a biased interest as my middle name is Paige as well!

Karla
05-09-2006, 01:54 PM
Erica Paige, sounds as beautiful as Cydney Paige, my husband and son chose her name. I wanted to name her Hope, that's what she was for me, my Hope to live life all over again, to dance again, discover again. At 42, it was like a new beginning for me, to see my husband with a baby again, and Willie, how amazing it would have been to see big brother and little sister!! I was so excited and proud. I wish I could post the images but I am having problems so I'll see if Kirk can help. Willie wrote a beautiful letter to her which he read for her service. I'll try to post that also. Why does he have to be hurt at such a tender age? What happened to us?:confused: I always believed that whatever happens, happens for a good reason, but do not try to explain that to me now, nothing could be better than having Cydney Paige in our lives. I can sleep through the nights now, but I hate it, I can go out without restraints and I hate that too. Everything is a reminder that my beautiful baby is not here. I would give everything and anything just to see her again. Do you know the song "With arms wide open" by Creed? It's such a beautiful song, so true of how we looked forward to Cydney Paige being in our lives. I know that she will always be in our lives, and there are certainly days when I smile through the tears, but just to hold and press her soft cheeks against mine.............AH I can almost feel her right now. Children are the best gift anyone can ever be given in life. I look forward to seeing your baby, I am excited for you as if it were me, that's all I pray for now, another story, another time.

Karla
06-12-2006, 01:56 PM
Dear God,
Please let me look up
And see her face smiling at me.

Dear God,
Please let me turn around
And see her arms, outstretched
Eyes begging me to lift her up.

Dear God,
Please let me wake in the middle of night
To the sound of her cry
Wanting to be breastfed
And a change of diaper.

Dear God,
Please don’t let me be able to sleep through the nights undisturbed,
Or, to take a trip away without a diaper bag
Or stroller to place in the car trunk.

Oh, My Dear God,
Please don’t let my arms ache,
Not from her fifteen pounds of joyful weight,
But from the emptiness,
That cannot be replaced,

Oh My Dear God,
What can I do to hold her in my arms again?
To see her beautiful face light up with a smile?
To feel her tender arms wrapped around my neck?
To hear her cries or happy coos?

Dear, Dearest God,
Please tell me why I can’t see her play with her brother,
Or sit comfortably on her big daddy’s lap?
Oh, My dearest God….
Please tell me why………..

Cydney Paige's Mommy
always and forever.


Today it's 7 months since Cydney Paige returned to heaven. I am still in denial, If I had no self control, I'd ask everyone I encounter today, or whose e-mail address or phone number I have to tell me that she's here somewhere and I just have to go to her and pick her up. Why do I have to walk this road without her? Selfishly I needed her in my life like no one will ever begin to comprehend. I suppose it is a rude awakening for me to come to the realisation that she could not take my troubles away and could never have been the solution to my problems. But her sunshine, her warmth, the purity of her love, the softness of her embrace would have healed me like no medicine could. WHY WHY WHY??????????

More complicated, now that's what life has become, and I must go on. Everyone says that God only gives what you can handle, well I'd like to say that I cannot handle, so do not give this to me. I'm not strong enough to carry this, nor am I wise enough to deal with it. What I'd like to have is a rewind of time so I can hold my precious one close to my heart, close to my heart....................