A Picture paints a thousand words.....

[motherofthree]

"I gathered him in all its freshness before a single breeze had damaged his purity"
Beautiful...did you write this, or do you know who did? I just love it.

[mise]

I am in the middle of doing up memoriam cards for Joseph,and this little saying was printed on the corner of one of the samples and I thought it was so beautiful.Reminds me how perfect Joseph was.Sorry Idont know who wrote it.

[Cheryl Haggard]

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

"Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear."

"In our lives there is bound to come some pain, surely as there are storms and falling rain; just believe that the one who holds the storms will bring the sun."

[Kari Anderson]

There are 52 pages of this thread so this might be in here somewhere. This is one of my favorites. I don't know who wrote it. I found it on a Life quotes website but it didn't list an author

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”

[Amy Joy]

I like that one Kari

[Marlena]

I am not sure the author of this or where it came from (I think I read this somewhere or combined quotes I have read):


There is no better place for our baby to be
than in the arms of her mommy and daddy
but until then
she is safe in the arms of Jesus.

[Marcus Momma]

Kari,
THat one is so true. We knew our babies before they were born because we spent day and night with them. But for the fact they weren't here that long they all had so many people that loved them and touched so many lives.

[motherofthree]

In the midst of winter
I discovered there was within me
An invincible summer.
- Albert Camus

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fileds.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet (chapter on Pain)

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseperable.
Together they come, and whien one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
-Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet(chapter on Joy and Sorrow)

I like the first two because they remind me of how I have changed upon the death of our daughter. How the pain has made me a different person, a better person I think in sum (though I long for my old, carefree self sometimes). The third reminds me of the duality that us greiving parents hold - that of loving so intensely and profoundly and grieving just as intensely and profoundly...the duality of love and joy. I think it takes a strong person to find so much joy in what also causes us pain. And at the same time, it makes us stronger.

Gibran also has a chapter on love, and it is posted in this thread much earlier. It begins,

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yeild to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
As the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you.... (it goes on from there).

[marylouise]

You'll Find JESUS In There!
http://www.wepraisehim.com/images/angelbabies.gif
"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began,
"I'll open up your heart."
"You'll find JESUS there," the boy interrupted.

The surgeon looked up, annoyed. "I'll cut your
heart open," he continued, "to see how much
damage has been done."

"But when you open up my heart, you'll
find JESUS in there."

The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat
quietly. "When I see how much damage has
been done, I'll sew you heart and chest back
up and I'll plan what to do next."

"But you'll find JESUS in my heart. The Bible
says HE lives there. The hymns all say HE
lives there. You'll find HIM in my heart."

The surgeon had enough. "I'll tell you what
I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle,
low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And
I'll find out if I can make you well."

"You'll find JESUS there too. HE lives there."

The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes
from the surgery,"...damaged aorta, damaged
pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration.
No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.
Therapy: painkillers and bed rest.
Prognosis: death within one year."

He stopped the recorder, but there was more
to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did
YOU do this? YOU'VE put him here; YOU'VE
put him in this pain; and YOU'VE cursed him
to an early death. Why?"

The LORD answered and said, "The boy,
MY lamb, was not meant for your flock for long,
for he is part of MY flock, and will forever be.
Here, in MY flock, he will feel no pain, and will
be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents
will one day join him here, and they will know
peace, and MY flock will continue to grow."

The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was
hotter. "YOU created that boy, and YOU created
that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"

The LORD answered, "The boy, MY lamb,
shall return to MY flock, for he has done his
duty; I did not put MY lamb with your flock
to loose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."
The surgeon wept.

The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the
boy's parents sat across from him. The boy
awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open
my heart?" "Yes," said the surgeon.
"What did you find?" asked the boy.
"I found JESUS there," said the surgeon.

Author Unknown

[Amy Joy]

I dont know what to say as I wipe the tears from my cheek. That is beautiful.

[Amy Joy]

"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the other one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have work the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author Unknown

[Amy Joy]

I dont really know if this is appropriate for this thread but I had to share. Its not to often, especially these days, when little things make me laugh. This quote did.

" I had to stop jogging because my thighs keep rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire"

[MelissaL]

These might have been shared but they are some favourites

When you are sorrowful
look into your heart
and you shall see that
you are weeping
for that which has been
your delight
~ Kahlil Gibran

Remembrance
Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
~ Author Unknown

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

"Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there." ~ Isla Paschal Richardson

[KEA's Mom]

They're beautiful, Melissa:)

[motherofthree]

Melissa,

Beautiful words!!! I especially like the Richardson and the Helen Keller quotes. And Kahlil Gibran is a favorite of mine. There is so much wisom in his words. Thank you for sharing these!

[carissa13]

A friend sent this to me today and wanted to share. I cried when I read it because I believe all women are amazing! No offense guys...

The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.'

'But I won't, ' the Lord protested.
'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,
'but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'

'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.

The Lord replied,
'Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate.'

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'

'That's not a leak,'
the Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

[momofanangel]

I rewrote a poem to go with a picture of Jesus holding Gracelynn.
Rock-a-bye Gracelynn in Jesus' arms,
Nothing can hurt you, you'll feel no alarm,
Though we all miss you, safe you will be,
'til we're together for all eternity.

[April Alvarez]

none of these were written by me- I will post the author if it is known. Believe me- I have tried to find the authors but some stubbornly remain anonymous!

It matters not how long a star shines,
What is remembered is the brightness of it’s light.


In one of the stars
I shall be living
In one of them
I shall be laughing
And so it will be
as if all the stars
were laughing
when you look
at the sky at night
-The Little Prince
Antoine de Saint-Ex


Eskimo Legend
Perhaps
they are not
stars in the sky,
But rather
openings
where our
loved ones
shine down to
let us know
they are happy.


the moon is your cradle
the heavens your playground


Silently, one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven,
blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of angels.
- Longfellow

[April Alvarez]

I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry,
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say,
To try and make the pain go away,
I walked the floor in disbelief,
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away,
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream.
This can't be real. I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child.......Today.
~Netta Wilson~


“My life is but a weaving between my God and me
I do not choose the colors, He works steadily.
Often times He weaves in sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper and I the underside.
Not til the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reasons why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful weavers hands
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern he has planned.”

"A person's a person, no matter how small!!"
-Dr Suess


The stars seem dim as I whisper low,
My darling baby, I miss you so


The strength to face the daily tasks,
Till I am with you is all I ask.

Your resting place we visit,
And put flowers there with care,
But no one knows the heartache,
As we turn and leave you there.


A Man in Grief
(Eileen Knight Hagemeister)
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through,
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave--
He lost his baby too.


The Master Gardener
(Helen Rice Steiner)
The Master Gardener
From Heaven above,
Planted a seed
In the garden of love.
And from it there grew
A rosebud small,
That never had time
To open at all.
For God in His perfect
And all-wise way,
Chose this rose
For his heavenly bouquet.
And great was the joy
Of this tiny rose,
To be the one our Father chose.
To leave Earth's garden
For One on high,
Where roses bloom always
And never die...
So, while you can't see
Your precious rose bloom,
You know The Great Gardener,
From the "Upper Room"
Is watching and tending
This wee rose with care,
Tenderly touching
Each petal so fair...
So think of your Darling
With the Angels above,
Secure and contented
And surrounded by love,
And remember God blessed
And enriched your lives, too,
For in dying, your Darling
Brought Heaven closer to you!
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````
The Rose Bush
by Joylynn Charity Miller
Once, a little rose bush
With no blooms yet to bear,
Inched itself toward a picket fence
And quietly rested there.
Then day by day it pulled its stems
To the flaws in the fence's wall,
And slowly crept its way...
Until it wasn't there at all.
On the other side it flourished,
On the other side, grew lush,
But the planter of the seedling
Missed that beautiful rose bush!
So young and it had vanished!
So small and it was gone!
But on the other side of the fence
It still, to life, held on!
And as the little babies here
Have left without a trace,
They rest upon the heavenly shore,
And bloom in all God's grace!


What Makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes, And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother, And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby, This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother, When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied, With confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies, When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb, But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat, And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you, What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile, With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons, Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom, Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly, My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much, But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one, Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home, They'll be at heavens gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother. It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of, Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day,
And you'll know that you're the best one!
"what Makes a Mother"
By Jennifer Wasik
Used with Permission
in memory of Zachery Thomas Wasik
For all Mother's missing their babies!

In a Babies Castle
In a babies castle,
Just beyond my eye,
My baby plays with angel toys,
That money cannot buy.
Who am I to wish her back,
Into this world of strife?
No, play on, my baby,
You have eternal life.
At night when all is silent,
And sleep forsakes my eyes,
I'll hear her tiny footsteps,
Come running to my side.
Her little hands caress me,
So tenderly and sweet,
I'll breathe a prayer, close my eyes,
And embrace her in my sleep.
Now I have a treasure,
That I rate above all others,
I have known true glory,
I am still her mother!
~ Author Unknown~


DEAR MOMMY AND DADDY
I just wanted to let you know that I made it home.
The journey wasn't an easy one, but it didn't take too long.
Everything is pretty here, so white, so fresh and new.
I wish that you could close your eyes, and you could see it, too.
Please try not to be sad for me... try to understand.
God is taking care of me, I'm in the shelter of his hands.
Here there is no sadness, no sorrow and no pain.
Here there is no crying, and no hurt for us again.
Here it is so peaceful, when all the angels sing.
I really have to go now, I've just got to try my wings.
~Author Unknown


I can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like

[April Alvarez]

The Truth Is...



1. The truth is NOT that you will feel "all better" in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.

The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.




2. The truth is NOT that a new pregnancy will help you forget.

The truth IS that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.



3. The truth is NOT that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.

The truth IS that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions.



4. The truth is NOT that once this is over your life will be the same.

The truth IS that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are.



5. The truth is NOT that grieving is morbid, or a sign of weakness or mental instability.

The truth IS that grieving is work that must be done. Now is the appropriate time. Allow yourself the time. Feel it, flow with it. Try not to fight it too often. It will get easier if you expect that it is variable, that some days are better than others. Be patient with yourself. There are no short cuts to healing. The active grieving will be over when all the work is done.



6. The truth is NOT that grief is all-consuming.

The truth IS that in the midst of the most agonizing time of your life, there will be laughter. Don't feel guilty. Laugh if you want to. Just as you must allow yourself the time to grieve, you must also allow yourself the time to laugh. Viewing laughter as part of the healing process, just as overwhelming sadness is now, will make the pain more bearable.



7. The truth is NOT that one person can bear this alone.

The truth IS that while only you can make the choices necessary to return to the mainstream of life a healed person, others in your life are also grieving and are feeling very helpless. As unfair as it may seem, the burden of remaining in contact with family and friends often falls on you. They are afraid to "butt in," or they may be fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing. This makes them feel even more helpless. They need to be told honestly what they can do to help. They don't need to be told, "I'm doing fine" when you're really NOT doing fine. By allowing others to share in your pain and assist you with your needs, you will be comforted and they will feel less helpless.



8. The truth is NOT that God must be punishing you for something.

The truth IS that sometimes these things just happen. They have happened to many people before you, and they will happen to many people after you. This was not an act of any God; it was an act of Nature. It isn't fair to blame God, or yourself, or anyone else. Try to understand that it is human nature to look for a place to put the blame, especially when there are so few answers to the question, "Why?" Sometimes there are answers. Most times there are not. Believing that you are being punished will only get in the way of your healing.



9. The truth is NOT that you will be unable to make any choices or decisions during this time.

The truth IS that while major decisions, such as moving or changing jobs, are better off being postponed for now, life goes on. It will be difficult, but decisions dealing with the death of your baby (seeing and naming the baby, arranging and/or attending a religious ritual, taking care of the nursery items you have acquired) are all choices you can make for yourself. Well-meaning people will try to shelter you from the pain of this. However, many of us who have suffered similar losses agree that these first decisions are very important. They help to make the loss real. Our brains filter out much of the pain early on as a way to protect us. Very soon after that, we find ourselves reliving the events over and over, trying to remember everything. This is another way that we acknowledge the loss. Until the loss is real, grieving cannot begin. Being involved at this early time will be a painful experience, but it will help you deal with your grief better as you progress by providing comforting memories of having performed loving, caring acts for your baby.



10. The truth is NOT that you will be delighted to hear that a friend or other loved one has just given birth to a healthy baby.

The truth IS that you may find it very difficult to be around mothers with young babies. You may be hurt, or angry, or jealous. You may wonder why you couldn't have had that joy. You may be resentful, or refuse to see friends with new babies. You may even secretly wish that the same thing would happen to someone else. You want someone to understand how it feels. You may also feel very ashamed that you could wish such things on people you love or care about, or think that you must be a dreadful person. You aren't. You're human, and even the most loving people can react this way when they are actively grieving. If the situations were reversed, your friends would be feeling and thinking the same things you are. Forgive yourself. It's OK. These feelings will eventually go away.



11. The truth is NOT that all marriages survive this difficult time.

The truth IS that sometimes you might blame one another, resent one another, or dislike being with one another. If you find this happening, get help. There are self-help groups available or grief counselors who can help. Don't ignore it or tuck it away assuming it will get better. It won't. Actively grieving people cannot help one another. It is unrealistic, like having two people who were blinded at the same time teach each other Braille. Talking it out with others may help. It might even save your marriage.



12. The truth is NOT that eventually you will accept the loss of your baby and forget all about this awful time.

The truth IS that acceptance is a word reserved for the understanding you come to when you've successfully grieved the loss of a parent, or a grandparent, or a beloved older relative. When you lose a child, your whole future has been affected, not your past. No one can really accept that. But there is resolution in the form of healing and learning how to cope. You will survive. Many of us who have gone through this type of grief are afraid we might forget about our babies once we begin to heal. This won't happen. You will always remember your precious baby because successful grieving carves a place in your heart where he or she will live forever.
C. Elizabeth Carney

[April Alvarez]

~Don't~
Don't tell me that you understand,
Don't tell me that you know...
Don't tell me that I will surely survive,
How I will surely grow...

Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed...
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest...

Don't come at me with answers,
That can only come from me...
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free...

Don't stand in pious judgement,
Of the bonds that I must untie...
Don't tell me how to suffer,
And don't tell me how to cry...

My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see....
But I need you, I need your love,
Unconditionally...

Accept me in my up's and down's,
I need someone to share...
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, My Friend, I care....

Unknown Author


20 Things parents of Angels wish you would remember



1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is
just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't
deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't
think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The
truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and
emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The
truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and
that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my
baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that
you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory
for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my
baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby
are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please
understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth
is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you
think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and
we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or
if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I
should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to
act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is loosing my
baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel
isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with"
in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it
may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and
it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human
life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have
seen my baby's body and face. My baby was a real person.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my
baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days
for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter
you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The
truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be
that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back
to ""normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new
thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the
real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth
is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby.
Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we
have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about
my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is
it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my
friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone
thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is
uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me
something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect
to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you
say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know?
What will you say if it happens to me again?

[April Alvarez]

The loss that you have suffered
Is one that I've been spared
But just the very thought of it
Is more than I can bear.

I can not pretend to know
The pain you're going through
I can't imagine what it's like
Right now, to be you.

I cannot take your pain from you
For it is yours to bear
I can only share your grief
And let you know I care.

No, I cannot feel how deep your pain
But this I know is true-
A load, once shared, is half the weight
Please take my outstretched hand.

I love you, my friend.

[April Alvarez]

Putting God on the Hot Seat-
an excerpt from Daniel T. Hans's book "When A Child Dies"

Prosecutor: I call to the stand the defendant in this case, God, who is accused
of a gross and cruel injustice. Please reveal your identity to the court.
God: I am the Almighty Creator, Sustainer and Redeemer.
Prosecutor: Almighty God, for what reason did you create us?
God: I created you for one very simple reason; love. I created you out of my
love.
Prosecutor: So it was your love for us that brought us into being. Does your
love move beyond your act of creation? Do you continue to sustain us and to
care for us out of love?
God: Yes.
Prosecutor: Well, then, perhaps you can explain to the court why you did not
sustain and care for my daughter. Are the deists right? After you create, do
you step into retirement, no longer taking an active role in our world and our
lives?
God: Many believe that. However, I do not believe you do. Think back over your
life, Mr. Prosecutor. Recall the opportunities, the disappointments and the
milestones. On those occasions you acknowledged my presence and involvement.
Can you now honestly deny my hand in your life?
Prosecutor: Well, then, maybe your activity is not so benevolent as we think it
is. Maybe the fruit of your hand is bitter instead of sweet. Maybe your works
are no different from ours, that is, a mixture of good and evil.
God: Before I respond, we need to define what is meant by "good" and "evil."
Most people, I have observed, define as good only those things that they enjoy
and bring them immediate benefit. Therefore, their definition of evil is
anything that blocks the attainment of good, or joy and enjoyment. Both good
and evil become totally subjective and defined solely on the basis of self.
Prosecutor: How can life be otherwise? How else can one define good and evil
apart from personal experience?
God: Mr. Prosecutor, you must begin to peel away this thin veneer you call
faith, a faith that looks to me only for personal pleasure and gain. You must
begin to reach for meaning that transcends the moment and present
circumstances. Good and evil have meanings far greater than your pleasure and
your sorrow. In the midst of personal tragedy, many have called me a cruel
God. They do so when they view the events of life solely from the viewpoint of
the moment. They want clear, crisp answers for every dilemma right now. Faith
will not grant such a wish. Faith gives one an eternal perspective that is not
offended by the mystery of the moment.
Prosecutor: God, you used the word "mystery." Perhaps you are no more than my
own creation to fill in the intellectual gaps and provide an explaination for
life's mysteries. Let me ask it more directly. God, do you really exist as the
all-powerful sovereign of the universe, or are you merely the attempt of my
mind and heart to explain the unexplainable?
God: Again, my answer comes by way of asking you to reflect upon the
awesomeness of life and the intimate events of your life. Do you believe that
I am your creator? Do you find comfort in thinking that you are master of your
own destiny, and humankind is master of the world's destiny? Or will you
believe that you are the creation of my purposes? The choice is yours.
Prosecutor: I want to get to the pressing question at hand. Earlier you
identified yourself as the Sustainer and caring Protector of your creation.
Why did you withdraw your care from my family? Why have we lost favor in your
eyes?
God: On what grounds do you make these accusations? Do you know me only through
your circumstances? Do you call me a caring Sustainer only when health and
happiness prevail? Do I cease to be good and loving the moment hardship
strikes? Cannot my purposes and promises exceed your understanding?
Prosecutor: I agree with your logic. But why, in your greatness, did you not
intervene to change my circumstances? Why did you not reverse the progression
of Laura's cancer? Certainly such action is within your power.
God: Humankind demands freedom in life. In my love, I have made you more than
puppets in a predetermined play. Yet when life runs its course, you cry foul
and complain about where the path leads you. You want two things that cannot
exist together- life's absolute feedom and my absolute control.
Prosecutor: But which is it?
God: I created life to be a strange and wonderful mixture of freedom and
control, randomness and providence, chaos and order, chance and purpose. In my
love for your life and for all of life, I have woven together a tapestry in
which strength can arise from weakness, light from darkness, meaning from
mystery, and life from death. Life is not an intellectual riddle to be solved;
it is a mysterious gift to be embraced.
Prosecutor: God, if you are the loving Creator and Sustainer as you claim, why
have you taken from me that which is mine, my little girl, the source of my
joy? An injustice began the moment you began to take what belonged to me!
God: Mr. Prosecutor, you speak as if you possessed the rights over creation.
Let me ask you something: were you there when I brought the world into
existence? Were you the one, not I, who gave Laura life? You complain about
losing something that never belonged to you in the first place. Laura was a
gift to you for a time. Never forget that she is mine for all time.
Prosecutor: God, I speak now from my heart rather than solely from my mind.
When I put away my intellectual arguments, my heart cries out, "You don't know
what it is like to watch your child slowly die! You have no idea how I hurt!"
God: You forget that I do know what it is like to lose a child, my only Son.
Prosecutor: That is my point. Your Son suffered and died, but what is death to
one who had the resurrection awaiting him? It is different for you!
God: Do you not think his suffering was real? His death was terrifying to him
and agonizing for me!
Prosecutor: I do not deny the reality of his death. However, he had the
resurrection awaiting him. He had hope within his grasp.
God: Is not the same hope available to you? You need more than a creator and
sustainer who guards life as it exists at this moment. You need a redeemer,
who can ensure life and love beyond the moment; one who can heal the
nagging "if onlys" and calm the angry "whys", and who can fulfill life's
unfilled dreams. I can restore that which is broken, save that which is lost,
and resurrect that which is dead. I give life, and I give new life.
Prosecutor: I believe that, but I still do not understand why my little girl
had to be the subject of your theory. It does not make sense that this should
be tested on a three-year-old. I cannot understand such happenings.
God: Nor will you fully understand. You said you are speaking from the heart
and not solely from the mind. This is the stage I have wanted you to reach.
Your mind tries to control life by demanding explainations and answers. The
heart has greater need.
Prosecutor: But how can I give you my heart when my head spins with unanswered
questions and unrelieved anger?
God: You cannot do this on your own. That is why I have given you my Holy
Spirit to live inside your heart and enable it to embrace the mysteries that
your mind cannot fathom. You need meaning in tragedy more than you need to
understand tragedy. You need love to fill the void. You need hope in a
painfully depriving world. You ask my reasons. They are beyond you. But I am
within your grasp. I am the center of all life. I can bring meaning to the
most perplexing mysteries. I ask only that you trust me. No matter how
confusing and painful the moment might be, you must trust me. You do not need
my answers; you need my presence.
Prosecutor: How can I trust when I have lost something more precious to me than
my own life? How can I trust in the face of irreplaceable loss? But yet, how
can I not trust when I see how fragile life is? How can I not trust when I
recall that there is always a mysterious gap of understanding between life's
Giver and life's recipients, between the Potter and the clay? I'm trying to
trust you, O Lord, but it is not easy. The trust I do have does not ease my
pain or calm my anger. Nevertheless, I know that I need your presence in my
life even more than I long for Laura's presence in my life. I need your
presence in my suffering more than I need an explaination for my suffering.
But O God, it is so hard, so very, very hard, to keep going.

[April Alvarez]

The Club

(Author Karen Grover)

We are all members of a very exclusive club. We had been only
vaguely aware of its existence, and we thought that surely a chapter
in a city the size of ours wouldn't have many members.

We had seen a few people who belonged to the club, but we didn't
seem to have anything in common with them, so we didn't really get
to know them. Occasionally, we read stories in the newspaper about
new members being initiated into the club, but it didn't seem likely
that we would ever be eligible to join, so we paid no attention.

The price of membership is so dear that we couldn't imagine being a
part of the club. We must have realized in the backs of our minds
that people didn't choose to join and pay the dues--it was done for
them somehow. In fact, no one really has any idea of how members are
selected. There are a lot of theories; but much of the time, the
theories come from non-members who don't understand much about the
situation.

The "club" we are now in (although it is not an organized group), is
known as "bereaved parents." The cost of our membership was the life
of our children; and we, like all other members, have no idea why we
were selected for membership.

No one wants to be in this club. Even now, months afterward, inside
our hearts and minds we continue to fight membership, but there is
no resigning from it. It is an automatic lifetime membership. There
was no way to avoid it--we did the best we could to keep our
children safe, only to have them die. Though we lay awake night
after night, and think of it day after day, there is no answer as to
why we have been thrust into this select group. We hate it and we
cry out in protest, but there is no way to change it.

We have learned a lot since our membership began. We now understand
much about the other members. In fact, we seek to be with them, to
have regular get-togethers, to discuss our membership, and try to
understand its value.

Sometimes, those outside the club are afraid of us, fearing that if
they come near us or talk with us, they will be selected to become
members too! Acquaintances often try to ignore the membership,
pretending that it doesn't exist. They seem to think that will make
things easier, and then the members won't feel "different," but it
really only makes things much worse.

So many times, we have wanted someone to say hello or to tell us
they have been thinking of us or to mention something about the
absent child who still lives inside us and overshadows all our
thoughts. We have heard people say, "I don't want to upset her, or
remind her of her baby, or say something that will make her cry."

We want to tell them: "The only way you can make me feel worse than
I already do is to pretend that it doesn't exist or that it isn't as
deep and painful as you surely know it is.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of having one terrible
incident go through your mind, day after day, week after week, month
after month, wondering why it happened and how you could have
prevented it? Well, don't worry about reminding us of our children.
We are thinking about them nearly twenty-four hours a day.


"Sure, sometimes our minds are temporarily distracted--it would have
to be to function at all. But if you think there is even one day
that goes by without our childrens death tearing up our
hearts, then you have no idea what this club is all about.

"We appreciate your talking about our children, or at least letting
us talk about them. They are a very large part of our lives, and
ignoring them now will really hurt us. It makes us think that you
feel they are no longer important because they are gone. It hurts to
think that people don't want to think about them or remember good
things about them, just because they have died.

"We understand that you don't want to say anything that will make us
cry. That sounds kind, and we used to feel that way too, but now we
know better. We'd rather the tears didn't come when you talk
to us because we know they may scare you away, or at least make you
very uncomfortable. But we've learned how useful and necessary they
are. If we go too long without tears, our body builds up a terrible
pressure from the pain of the grief. If you will allow us to cry in
your presence, perhaps we won't have to cry alone, wondering if
anyone else remembers, or even cares, about our loss.

"You can't know what will make us cry--sometimes we don't know,
ourselves. Some days we stay dry-eyed through nearly everything.
Other days, the slightest thing will start the tears--things you
could not possibly imagine or anticipate. Not all the tears are
tears of sorrow. Even in the midst of our anguish, we sometimes cry
tears of joy and relief because you have reached out; because you
have confirmed that our children were special; perhaps because you
have shared with us some precious memory about them which we had not
known before.

"Please don't run away from us. Don't pretend their death never
occurred, or even worse, that they never lived! We still love them,
think of them, and need to remember. Please share with us and we
will all feel better.

"We are learning that God is not punishing us. He did not cause the
death of our children. But, He can help us to grow through this
experience--to become stronger and wiser and more caring, if we have
some help. Initially, when we were told that we would change and
grow stronger through this experience, we wanted to scream that if
it meant giving up our children, we didn't want to change or get
stronger. But we know we have no choice about that now--they are
gone. Now our choices are to either let God, and friends, help us to
become better; or we can choose to allow this grief to destroy us."

We have to experience the grief. We can't pretend it doesn't hurt,
or hurry it along. That's what membership in this club is teaching
us. We are choosing to allow God to take an unspeakable experience
and use it to start life again...in a new and better way.

[April Alvarez]

Keep her Jesus, in Thy keeping,
Until I reach that golden shore,
Then dear Saviour let me have her,
And love her as I did before.

(and adapted by me for a dad who was a cowboy)
Keep him Jesus, in Thy keeping,
Until I reach that Great Divide.
Then Dear Savior give him to me
So I can teach him how to RIDE.

[April Alvarez]

"the golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but
sand; the angels come to visit us and we only know them when they are gone."
-George Eliot

"Parting is all we know of Heaven
And all we need of ****..."
-Emily Dickinson


"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long
for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love,
time is eternity."
-- Henry Van Dyke


One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the
LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the
LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, He looked back at the
footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said
that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have
noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never
leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set
of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

[April Alvarez]

Its not how deep the sea
Its not how wide the sky
Its how sweet the time
From hello to goodbye

Come away! O human child!
To the waters and the wild,
With a faerie hand in hand,

For the world's more full of weeping,
Than you can understand...

W. B. Yeats


A lonely young wife in her dreaming discerns
A lily-decked pool with a border of ferns.
And a beautiful child, with butterfly wings,
Trips down to the edge of the water and sings:
"Come, mamma! come! Quick! follow me!
And step on the leaves of the water lily!"

And the lonely young wife, her heart beating wild,
Cries, "Wait till I come, till I reach you, my child!"
But the beautiful child with the butterfly wings
Steps out on the leaves of the lily and sings:
"Come, mamma! come! Quick! follow me!
And step on the leaves of the water lily!"

And the wife in her dreaming steps out on the stream
But the lily leaves sink and she wakes from her dream.
Ah, the waking is sad, for the tears that it brings.
And she knows 'tis her dear baby's spirit that sings:
"Come, mamma! come! Quick! follow me!
Step out on the leaves of the water lily!
"Come mamma!! come! Quick! follow me!
and step on the leaves of the water lily!

By Henry Lawson and Priscilla Herdman


Angel wings with golden threads,
Shining silk adorns their heads,
Fingers like the age of time,
Cradling baby which is still mine.

Angelic movement full of grace,
Light and life upon their face.
A beautiful silence they all will keep,
While rocking my baby fast asleep.

Angel wings with golden threads,
Shining silk adorns their heads,
Mummy’s never far away,
Until she’s here with us you’ll stay.

Angelic movement full of grace,
Light and life upon their face.
The brightest star I’ll ever see,
Is my baby in eternity.....


No Name

There's someone knocking on Heaven's door,
Someone desiring to converce with the Lord.
"Who's there?", the Lord inquires.
"I don't know!", a small voice cries.
"I was just a fetus I've been told,
not even a person, but I do have a soul."
"How can I enter through Heaven's gate,
when I don't have a name or even a face?"
"You will my child", the Lord replied.
"The plans were made before you died."

By Mary Montford

A tiny hand we'll never hold,
A child without a name;
Your coos and giggles
Won’t touch our ears,
But we loved you just the same.
The twinkle in your little eyes,
Was not for us to see;
We longed to hold you in our arms,
But it never came to be.
Angels now hold your tiny hand,
They’ve given you a name;
Your coos and giggles grace their ears,
But we'll miss you just the same.
The twinkle in your little eyes,
Now lights the sky at night.
Angels hold you close in loving arms,
You’re always in their sight.
A tiny hand we'll never hold,
We have no reason why;
But we'll always hold you in our hearts,
Even though we said good-bye.

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me...
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
She said my place was ready
In heaven far above;
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye;
I didn’t want to leave you here
I was too young to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of you and Daddy
And how much you needed me
Of all things I’ll never do
And things I’ll never see
And when I thought of worldly things
I would miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But the angel bent and whispered
A secret only I could hear
She said that true love never dies
That I would still be near
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there ... in your heart.

[April Alvarez]

Listen

If I am pained and come to you,
Before you speak, consider twice.
"Shoulds" and platitudes won't do
I want you ear, not your advice.

Just listen, friend, and try to hear
Beyond my words...(the stuff I hide).
The outward rage is Oh! so mere
Compared to all the hurt inside.

If you would only say to me,
"That must have been so hard for you."
Instead of tossing off a line like,
"Nature knows what she must do..."

Tune in to how I feel, my friend,
And hear beyond the words I say.
At times my words may not describe
Emotions deep, held down at bay.

These deeper feelings kept within
Are journeys words can't navigate.
But travel past the things you hear,
Don't say, "Oh, well, it must be fate..."

Please try to listen with your heart
Don't seize this chance to criticize,
Or preach to me, or even start
With trite cliches that sermonize.

If you've not walked my lonely road
(I hope you never will, my friend),
Don't try to be my therapist
Or say it's time my grief should end.

Listen! Listen! Be a friend!
Command compassion to your ears
To sift the weight of words I say
And hear unspoken tears and fears.

Most times your silence suits me fine,
Or weep with me, that's soothing, too.
To heal this broken heart of mine,
Just LISTEN when I talk to you.

by Fran Morgan

[April Alvarez]

"Behold I send an Angel before you, to guard you along the way
and to bring you to the place I have prepared."
Exodus 23: 20

"For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139: 13, 14

"I have called you by name
you are Mine!"
Isaiah 43:1

"Suffer ye- the little children to come unto Me,
and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven"
Matthew 19:14

[April Alvarez]

A little lamb too sweet and pure,
Upon the earth to roam,
An angel came so silently,
And took our dear child home.
She was only a little white rose,
A sweet little flower from birth;
God took her home to heaven,
Before she was soiled on earth.

O blessed little sunbeam,
O child of love and prayer,
We give thee to the keeping,
Of the tender Shepherd’s care.
Two little hands are resting,
A little heart is still,
A little son we loved is waiting,
For us just over the hill.

[April Alvarez]

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-- Saint Augustine

"There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love."
-- Martin Luther King Jr.

[April Alvarez]

"We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love."
-- Mother Teresa

"You are what you love. Not what loves you."
-- Charlie Kaufman

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

"Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to
make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.
Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all
entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But
in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be
broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to
be vulnerable."
-- C.S. Lewis

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt,
but only more love."
-- Mother Teresa

"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are
parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete
like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I
imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence."
-- Edmond and Jules de Goncourt

"Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love
yourself."
-- Robin Williams

"He loves but little who can say and count in words how much he loves."
-- Dante Alighieri


"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles
the great."
-- Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
-- Aristotle

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love makes the ride worthwhile."
-- Franklin Jones

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."
-- Bertrand Russell

Our love for you is not written on paper, for paper can be erased.
Nor is our love for you etched in stone, for stone can be broken.
But our love for you is inscribed in our hearts, where it shall remain forever.

- Author Unknown -

"A wife who loses a husband is called a widow.
A husband who loses a wife is called a widower.
A child who loses his parents is called an orphan.
But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is!"
- Neugeboren 1976, 154

Don't think of them
as gone away.

Don't think of them as gone away,
Their journey has just begun.
Life holds so many facets,
This earth is only one.

Just think of them as resting,
From the sorrows and the tears.
In a place of warmth and comfort,
Where there are no days or years.

Think of how they must be wishing,
That we could know today,
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away.

And think of them as living,
In the hearts of those they touched.
For nothing loved is ever lost,
And they were loved so much!
-E. Brenneman


If only you could see

By

Lisa Robertson

I know you are feeling sad today because I had to go,.
I know you have so many things that remind you of me so.
And though you cry as you recall the times you spent with me,
I know your pain will turn to joy if you could only see.
I'm in heaven with Jesus now, we laugh, we sing , we play.
He holds me gently in his arms, I know no pain today.
And though we are apart a little while, Jesus has promised me.
He'll someday bring you up here where we 'll live for eternity.

[April Alvarez]

Thank you for the gift of you!
You gave us hope by just being you.
After all the hurting and healing is through
We'll treasure most of all the gift of you!

Anon


Birth Announcement of Grief

Weight-as heavy as my heart
inches-as big as my heart

Grief came as you were leaving, taking the place you had been.
Grief stole the hearts of many.
The labor was intense (grief labor that is) and hard.
At times it seemed almost too much to bear.
I asked for help with the intense pain and
God gave me his kind of epidural.
He gave me his hand to squeeze when the pain was too much.
He gave me rest when I was too tired to go on.
He gave me strength to continue to push.
Finally, He gave me peace that surpasses all understanding.

By Rachal McIntyre

Dedicated to my two precious angels

Fluff up the clouds

Call heaven there's an Angel
That's coming home today.
Our hearts are sad and broken
Because he couldn't stay.

Fluff up the clouds and lay him
Gently in your care.
Place the tiny halo
Softly in his hair.

Our arms will never hold him again
Our lips will never kiss
The velvet of his cheeks again
We were not prepared for this.

In our hearts will be a tiny hole
Where always you will be.
Because we loved you so much
Our hearts will always grieve.

Unknown Author

Grieving Mother

She clings to the hand of God
To keep from going wild
And in His presence
Comes to know
His other hand . . .

Holds Her Child

-Thais F. Henry


At unusual times, In unexpected places,
The supermarket, the school run, on the way home from work,
My eyes sting and my throat gets tight.
And then I know that all I want is you!

Back Again

Time has taken me from you,
although not very far.
I'll be watching through the sunshine
and through the brightest star.

I'll be watching all of you,
from the Heavens up above.
So take good care of each other
and carry all my love.

If you're ever wondering
if I'm there here's where you can start.
Take a look inside yourself
deep within your heart.

I'll always be your baby, your grandchild,
your best friend.
So anytime you need me,
close your eyes I'm back again.

Author Unknown

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and
call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
Instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's,"
and certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,

tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike.
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day

that you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

~ Author Unknown ~

I drove into the cemetery
With tears in my eyes today
I placed a flower upon your grave
And bowed my head to pray

Looking at the simple marker
Nothing fancy, or overdone
I couldn't help but cry as I read
The birth and death of my one and only son

I told you how much I missed you
Your face I could clearly see
You have died, but are not lost
You will always be a part of me

There's emptiness at home now
An empty house, an empty chair
Our family is broken forever
A son's love is no longer there

So I'll say good bye for a little while
Sleep in peace and always know
I didn't want to give you back to God
He took your hand, and I had to let go

Some people dream of angels,
I held one in my arms.

Author Unknown

[April Alvarez]

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Grief is like being lost in the hot desert and always seeing a glass of water in the distance, You want that glass of water more than anything, You have been walking so long and you are so weak and tired but the glass just does not seem to be getting any closer, at times if seems as through it is further away.
Grief is like a ball of string.
You start with an end and wind.
Then the ball slips through your fingers
and rolls across the floor.
Some of your work is undone, but not all.
You pick it up and start over again,
but you never have to begin again at the end of the string.
The ball never completely unwinds.
You`ve made some progress.


Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.


The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.

- Author Unknown -

LIKE

Clear like a raindrop, fresh and pure
Warm as a ray shone from the sun
Lost like a seashell on the shore
Small like a number in a sum

Perfect like a petal on a flower
Shiny as a glint upon the snow
Fast like a minute in an hour
Cold as the breeze in winds that blow

Cute as a freckle on a face
Light like a beam down from the moon
Delicate as a pattern stitched in lace
Sadness in a memory gone too soon

Tiny as a speckle in the sand
Pure like a reflection on a lake
Identity in the lines upon a hand
Innocent as the goodness in a sake

Fresh as the bud that's born to bloom
Lonely as a note without a song
Sorrow for our babe that's gone too soon
Forever your memory will shine on

- Victoria Dixon -


The End
By: Rabindranath Tagore

It is time for me to go, mother; I am going.

When in the paling darkness of the lonely dawn you stretch out your arms for your baby in the bed, I shall say, "Baby is not there!" - mother, I am going.

I shall become a delicate draught of air and caress you; and I shall be ripples in the water when you bathe, and kiss you and kiss you again.

In the gusty night when the rain patters on the leaves you will hear my whisper in your bed, and my laughter will flash with the lightning through the open window into your room.

If you lie awake, thinking of your baby till late into the night, I shall sing to you from the stars, "Sleep, mother sleep."

On the straying moonbeams I shall steal over your bed, and lie upon your bosom while you sleep.

I shall become a dream, and through the little opening of your eyelids I shall slip into the depth of your sleep; and when you wake up and look round startled, like a twinkling firefly I shall flit out into the darkness.

When on the great festival of puja the neighbors' children come and play about the house, I shall melt into the music of the flute and throb in your heart all day.

Dear auntie will come with puja-presents and will ask, "Where is our baby, sister?" Mother, you will tell her softly, "He is in the pupils of my eyes, he is in my body and my soul."

[April Alvarez]

Dear God,

Can you hear me?
Please, God. Do you hear my cries?
The ones that echo pain deep within my mind and heart.
She is gone, God. My little girl is dead.
And I love her so.
I've tried to pray, to seek and to beg
Yet still, she is gone.
I would have given my life for hers...

I do not understand.
You see, God, she left so suddenly.
Without saying goodbye- or even hello.
How can it be that she has changed my life so?
How can it be that others think I should forget her so abruptly and go on with my life?
How can I pretend that she did not exist?

For her life and death has brought me on my knees, to You.
And now, I seek the peace, which only Your midst can harbor
To ease this overwhelming grief.

But, still God, I feel cheated.
I feel so very desperate for her presence.
I never looked into her eyes
I never told her how much she meant to me.
I never kissed her gently with the smile of a proud mother,
but only with tear burdened eyes.
But you can God.
Please, please tell her for me.
For I know she is in Your care.

Tell her that her beauty has left me many priceless gifts.
Tell her that I think of her- Everyday, every hour, every moment.
Tell her how deeply I love and miss her.
Hold her in Your majestic arms, just for me, Lord.
Rock her gently and whisper in her ear
Tell her that her Mommy aches for her, still and always.

For the only strength that remains is the strength which You grant me
In knowing that You, and only You, Father
Can love her the way that I do...

Amen


ANGEL BOY

One day a tiny angel boy
Flew out of heaven's gate,
He was not discovered missing,
Until it was too late.

Of course, God was most disturbed,
About this precious, little soul,
Who got away from heaven,
Before his time to go.

But God's eye was on this little guy,
Who'd been wonderfully designed,
Though tiny, he was mighty,
He just needed growing time.

Yet somehow he slipped through the gate,
When the gatekeeper's back was turned,
And he made it all the way to earth,
With wings too small for his return.

He found a perfect mother,
Whose heart was bigger than he was,
Not even heaven could compete
For such a mother's love.

The divine love he brought with him,
Was a love direct from God,
For he still belonged to heaven,
Though here on earthly sod.

He was so fragile and so helpless,
His mother's strength not quite enough,
Man's world a strange and frightening place,
Not like heaven - much too tough.

This child was made by God
In His image, for His Glory,
No way could earth lay claim to him,
To this precious, angel boy.

Too weak to fly home on his own,
God sent gentle angels down,
Who swiftly, sweetly carried him
Back home, where he belonged.

God left a message for his mother,
To let her know her son and she
Would one day be together,
As sons and mothers ought to be.

But in the meantime, she should listen,
And watch up in the sky,
For what she thinks are tiny birds
May well be angels flying by.

Virginia (Ginny) Ellis


"mourn not too long that he is gone, but rejoice forever that he was..."

Life is too precious to forget


Algernon Charles Swinburne - A Baby's Death

A little soul scarce fledged for earth
Takes wing with heaven again for goal
Even while we hailed as fresh from birth
A little soul.

Our thoughts ring sad as bells that toll,
Not knowing beyond this blind world's girth
What things are writ in heaven's full scroll.

Our fruitfulness is there but dearth,
And all things held in time's control
Seem there, perchance, ill dreams, not worth
A little soul.

The little feet that never trod
Earth, never strayed in field or street,
What hand leads upward back to God
The little feet?

A rose in June's most honied heat,
When life makes keen the kindling sod,
Was not so soft and warm and sweet.

Their pilgrimage's period
A few swift moons have seen complete
Since mother's hands first clasped and shod
The little feet.

The little hands that never sought
Earth's prizes, worthless all as sands,
What gift has death, God's servant, brought
The little hands?

We ask: but love's self silent stands,
Love, that lends eyes and wings to thought
To search where death's dim heaven expands.

Ere this, perchance, though love know nought,
Flowers fill them, grown in lovelier lands,
Where hands of guiding angels caught
The little hands.

The little eyes that never knew
Light other than of dawning skies,
What new life now lights up anew
The little eyes?

Who knows but on their sleep may rise
Such light as never heaven let through
To lighten earth from Paradise?

No storm, we know, may change the blue
Soft heaven that haply death descries
No tears, like these in ours, bedew
The little eyes.

Was life so strange, so sad the sky,
So strait the wide world's range,
He would not stay to wonder why
Was life so strange?

Was earth's fair house a joyless grange
Beside that house on high
Whence Time that bore him failed to estrange?

That here at once his soul put by
All gifts of time and change,
And left us heavier hearts to sigh
'Was life so strange?'

Angel by name love called him, seeing so fair
The sweet small frame;
Meet to be called, if ever man's child were,
Angel by name.

Rose-bright and warm from heaven's own heart he came,
And might not bear
The cloud that covers earth's wan face with shame.

His little light of life was all too rare
And soft a flame:
Heaven yearned for him till angels hailed him there
Angel by name.

The song that smiled upon his birthday here
Weeps on the grave that holds him undefiled
Whose loss makes bitterer than a soundless tear
The song that smiled.

His name crowned once the mightiest ever styled
Sovereign of arts, and angel: fate and fear
Knew then their master, and were reconciled.

But we saw born beneath some tenderer sphere
Michael, an angel and a little child,
Whose loss bows down to weep upon his bier
The song that smiled.

My Someday Baby
by Dawn Champion

I wait, and I wait, and I wait, and I wait.
The slow horse still wanting out of the gate.
Hoping you'll begin before it's too late.
Where are you? My someday baby.

Each night I pray a prayer for you.
It is a prayer for daddy and me too.
I pray that I will someday feel you
My kicking someday baby.

Every day I see children everywhere around.
I long to hear your laughing, cooing sound.
Your fingers around my one tightly wound
My happy someday baby.

How will you smile? What color your eyes?
How will you like your birthday surprise?
Will you come to mommy to comfort your cries?
Wondrous you, my someday baby.

I touch terry sleepers, and booties so small
And wonder how much longer my heart can bear all.
Hoping and wishing through now my third Fall
To spoil my someday baby.

How I long to rock you to sleep,
And to rub your head until you dream deep.
To watch you roll over and sit and then creep
My sweet little someday baby.

The things others think are a pain you see
Sound like a piece of heaven to me.
To be awakened by something other than dreams
My pleasure, my someday baby.

I don't know when you'll see this, or if you'll know
How much my heart dreamed of you, prayed for you so.
To feel you, and watch you and help you to grow
My love, my someday baby.

I do hope and I pray, and sneak cries through the day
With hope daddy and I will have you "someday."
That sooner rather than later you can hear me say
"With love I welcome you", my someday baby.


Am I Not A Mother?
by Gail Fasolo
Am I not a mother
On this Mother's Day?
I had a baby, but she's gone.
Death took her away.

Hopes and dreams have vanished
a happy time turned cold.
My motherhood-where is it now?
Gone? Or put on hold?

Am I not a mother
even though my child died?
Does anyone know my heartbreak
or the anguish felt inside?

Special gifts and flowers
but who'll remember me?
As I stand and shed some tears
at your graveside where I'll be.

Mother's Day-so painful
but I will make it through.
Yes, I am a mother!
but God takes care of you.

In Memory of Christina
stillborn February 5, 1991

People Don't Understand...
People don't understand...
why I miss you so much...
they've never had a baby...
they could not touch.

I never got to hear you cry...
dry the tears from your face...
or watch mommy dress you up...
in clothes made from lace.

To hold you once...
on my chest while you sleep...
I long for that moment...
it's hard not to weep.

To hear your giggle...
count your fingers and toes...
do up your hair...
with ribbons and bows.

Oh the longing at times...
is selfish I know...
people wonder about me...
when there is nothing to show.

But we know you're there...
awaiting the day...
when God brings us home...
forever we'll stay.

We miss you...you see...
the reason for this...
just thought you should know...
we send up a kiss.

Until then God promised to keep you...
safe and warm in his lap...
then it's forever...
on my chest you will nap.

Written for "Terri" by her husband,




Mommy and Daddy
Please don't be so sad,
I miss you so much, too.
It's beautiful here where I am,
but I worry a lot about you.

I sleep with angels watching me,
there's only love up here.
I'm never lonely of afraid
'cause God's so very near.

I walk with angels every day,
they're very kind and sweet.
Don't worry, Mom and Dad,
they hold my hand when
we cross a golden street.

I never cry or hurt myself,
I see rainbows every day.
I play and laugh and sing a lot,
and I hear you both when you pray.

Please Mommy and Daddy,
don't be mad at God,
you see, he loves me, too.
And even though you're not with me,
I'm really still with you.

Author Unknown





I'm An Angel Now
One night I cried to Jesus as I sat beneath the tree,
I looked into the open sky and hoped he'd answer me.
I'm lost, dear Lord, I've traveled far but still I seem to roam,
Please light the way and lead me, Lord; I need to get back home.
I told Him of my burdens and of the sadness in my heart,
That from his gracious love I'd never felt so apart.
Why did you take my child, Lord? I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch his face or hold his tiny hand.
I'm angry Lord. I'm missing him. I'm drowning in my sorrow.
Please help me to heal my yesterday and face each new tomorrow.
It was then I heard his gentle voice and felt his presence near.
How I wanted to hold him as I cried another tear.
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now. my spirit will be free.
I'm an angel now in heaven, so please don't cry for me.
I was chosen by the Lord above and now I'm in His care.
When you need me, look inside your heart. I promise to be there.
No one can ever take away our bond with one another.
For I'll always be your special child as you will always be my mother.
So if you cannot find your way or the road to home seems far,
Just look up the Heavens and I'll be your guiding star."
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in Heaven--no need to cry for me."

Janice Grogan

Baby Tears
We cried tears when we learned that a child would be,
that God had allowed you to quicken in me.
We cried tears with our loved ones as the shared in our joy,
and we thought about names for a girl or a boy.
I cried tears as I thought of the things that we'd do,
all the things that your Daddy would pass on to you.
And I cried tears as I thought of each inch you had grown,
as I pondered the day that you'd make yourself known.
Then to think of the world you must enter brought fears.
Once again, little loved one, your mother cried tears.
Something's wrong, I can tell - once again there are tears,
and I'll not get a chance of your love through the years.
Oh the ache and the sorrow and all of the pain,
and again, yes again, my tears fell like rain.
Then his peace comes to me as I think of your there,
gently rocking with the Father, in His favorite chair.
Your sweet little fingers clenched tight in His palm
and His Son softly singing to help keep you calm.
Our Father knew, your days before they came to be,
and he knew, little one, you would not stay with me.
So, I cry but I know that when this life is done,
I will greet and embrace you my sweet little one.
There is a time to be born, and a time to die,
and the joy and the sorrow both make us cry!

Conni Johnson




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Grief of My Man
There are no words to ease his pain.
He has that look in his eyes again.
He travels on down that lonely road.
It sure has been a heavy load.

The pain does not ease. The tears do not flow.
He keeps it inside. That is all that he knows.
He stands all alone, so proud and so strong.
Inside he is broken. This trip has been long.

His knees never bend. His back never breaks.
But deep doewn inside, oh how his heart aches.
He counts all the days. He dreads all the nights.
Try as he may, he can never make it right.

He keeps on going, from one day to the next,
Finding the good, and leaving the rest.
He tries not to question God's life plan.
But, still I can feel the grief of my man.

For My Loving Husband, Andy
I Love You Forever
Melissa

Written for her husband, Andrew
in memory of their son, Kieran Andrew,
2/15/96-2/17/96.


Speaking to Angels (on the loss of an unborn child)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How near you were to us.
Gently embracing our lives
For such a short time.
Weaving a living thread
That suddenly paused,
Then leaped eternity.
In the stilled caress of your treasured memory,
We will speak to angels.

--Annie Dougherty


How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.


Linda Joiner's "One Missing"

Three little children
Lined up in a row
Posing for a photo
With faces all aglow.

Beautiful smiles
Happiness abounds
But someone is missing
One child's not around.

Her smile can't be seen
Her face no one knows
One sweet baby girl
Died five years ago.

So as everyone else looks
At the picture they see
Remember the one
That belongs with the three.

"One Missing" in memory of Kari Lynn born still on June 2, 1992 at 19 weeks gestation.

[April Alvarez]

I wrote this one for my dear friend Melanie, her son was stillborn, full term, suspected cord accident:

Nathan Michael
these heels so dear to me
that pressed against my side
how I longed to know their owner
how I wish you hadn't died

I knew you most by this dear feature
velvet soft and wrinkly feet
never soiled by earth my darling
I can't wait until we meet

feet so small, so sweet and charming
that pushed and kicked the night away
baby feet that now roam heaven
will carry you to me one day

[April Alvarez]

"What the caterpillar calls the end of life,
the Master calls the butterfly"

Hold close these moments for we shall always live by remembering.

Unto us a child is born, a special child for a special reason. We don’t pretend to understand only to accept and to love.

Our joys will be greater, our love will be deeper, our lives will be fuller, because we shared his, her, their moment(s).

And in a twinkling of an eye this little one came into our (my) heart(s).
Our (my) dreams are sure gonna miss him (her).

An angel sent from heaven returned to heaven.

And we loved you all your life

A gift's been given in your loved one's name
Through which some bit of good may come of sorrow.
Life is something all of us must borrow,
Returning it, in time, to whence it came.
Pleased be assured that it will be well used,
As every gift that sings of love and light
Will render things less wrong, though never right;
For gifts of mourning ought not be refused.

[April Alvarez]

We are not your children, but
We write you nonetheless
To wish you Happy Mother's Day
With sweet, sad tenderness.
We loved your child, who cannot write
The words that he would say,
And so in memory of him
We send you this today.

There is no comfort can assuage
The passing of a child,
But we must do what we can do
And know he would have smiled;

And know that love is like a wave
That sweeps past those who love
To break upon the edge of death,
Time's traces to remove;

And break again, and break again
Across that distant shore
That all who love might taste of life
Yet yearn in peace for more.

We lost you just two years ago,
A sorrow that still sings
Of all the tears and emptiness
The loss of loved ones brings.
Your day of birth and burial
Turned out by chance the same,
And so each year when it comes round
We feel both joy and pain.

Our sadness comes from missing you,
And missing you from love,
And love from all the love in you
That we became part of.

Your love is still alive in us,
We feel it ever new;
Our mourning's filled with happiness
By memories of you.


You gave to me through who you were
The gift of what I am.
Your life does not conclude with death,
Nor will it end with mine,
For all the lives I touch, you touch,
And so on through all time.


I Will Be Fine
Pat Hitts

You ask, "How are you doing?" and I reply, "I'm fine."
But, inside my mind is screaming...those words are just not mine.
But, I thank you so for asking, it is difficult...I know.
As I'm sure the pain is evident...you know I love her so.
Every crevice of my being, every corner of my soul
is filled with longing...aching, that will never cease....I know.
Yet, I know I will get better...my heart will heal with time.
It will never ever be whole again, but...yes, I will be fine.
The pain will dull as time goes by with the help from God above...
We have so much in common...He has the one I love.
My faith in Him sustains me for He does so much you see...
He sends her love down to me...it surrounds me endlessly.
Someday we will be reunited, in the Heavens up above..
Someday God will rejoin us with the child that we love.


Two years. It feels like another hurdle. It feels like people will be less sympathetic now that two years have passed, if only they could understand that two years have not gone by for me, I have been surrounded by pain, love, grief and emptiness for what seems like an eternity

[April Alvarez]

one I wrote for my dear friend Meghan on the 1st anniversary of her son's birth and death

Happy Birthday, Baby!

It's my little angel's birthday,
And I can't hold him close
I can't feed him birthday cake
And kiss his frosting nose.

Daddy's little angel
Isn't learning how to walk
I can't see his little face
Or hear his baby-talk.

Mommy's little sweetheart
Is one year old today
There isn't a big party
Because he never got to stay.

Daddy's boy is in Heaven
What a long, hard year its been.
But now we're one year closer
To holding him again!
-April

[April Alvarez]

"The Busiest Day in Heaven"

It's the busiest day in Heaven
I'm planning a big surprise
To let you know I love you
And that no one ever dies.

Even though you're down below
And I am up above,
I'm sending you these wishes
And all my angel love.

It's really quite exciting
To plan this big event,
For lots of gifts will come your way
And all are heaven sent.

First, I'll take a bubble bath-
My splashes might cause some rain,
But knowing all the fun I'm having,
Will help to ease your pain.

Next, I'll get some pictures
In my halo and my gown,
So when you get to Heaven,
You can show them all around.

I have color crayons in Heaven,
And I will draw some star so bright
And place them in the sky today
For you to see tonight.

Then, Jesus will have story time,
And I will sit upon his lap.
He'll tell me all about you
Just before I nap.

I'll wake up full of energy
And play a game or two,
Before I finish sending
All my love to you.

After snack I'll write a song
For all the birds to sing,
And know I've made you happy
With all the joy it brings.

At nighttime I'll be tired,
But I'll still hold you tight.
My arms will wrap around you
And keep you through the night.

And when you finally slumber,
I will kneel to pray,
Asking God to bless you
On this special Mother's Day.

Love, Your Little Angel


When you lose a parent, you lose your past.
When you lose a spouse, you lose your present...
But when you lose a child, you lose your future.

'Comfort In The Arms Of Strangers '

By

Victoria Dixon

22/01/04

We feel at a loss; we are often let down
When some friends that surround us
Don't understand why we frown

They try to console us; they try to advise
Though the loss we have suffered
They just don't realise

We need you to listen, to just understand
Don't ask how we are
Just say sorry and take hold of a hand

We need your patience; we just need some time
We lost our baby
For no reason or rhyme

We need to reach out, to find some release
You have walked in our footsteps
You can relate to our grief

It can be overwhelming; I have been moved to tears
The kindness of strangers
Will comfort my fears

Through similar loss, you know you can depend
And find comfort in the arms of strangers
And the precious gift of a friend

Dedicated to Nicholas James Bell

22/01/02
became an angel at 37 weeks gestation due to a cord accident

" A Life so Brief, A child so small.
You had the power to touch us all "

" The reason that angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly "

G.K. Chesterton

" It is good to have an end to journey toward;
but it is the journey that matters at the end. "

Ursula LeGuin


You left and forgot to tell our hearts how to live without you.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

"He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others."

2 Corinthians 1 3-4

I am worn out with grief; every night my bed is damp from my weeping; my pillow is soaked with tears.

Psalms 6:6

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in trouble; my eyes are tired from so much crying; I am completely worn out. I am exhausted by sorrow, and weeping has shortened my life. I am weak from all my troubles; even my bones are wasting away. All my enemies and especially my neighbors treat me with contempt; those who know me are afraid of me; when they see me in the street, they run away. Everyone has forgotten me, as though I were dead; I am like something thrown away.

Psalms 31:9-12

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.

You ask me how I am doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.

By

Elizabeth Dent

- IX -

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden


"Grief over the loss of a child lasts longer than any other kind. It heals more slowly and causes the most monumental disruption for those who survive. This is because a child is part of what psychologists call our internal psychological structure-- meaning that in a way part of the parent dies, too."
Elizabeth Mehren

WE DO NOT NEED A SPECIAL DAY

We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.

Each morning when we awake,
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heart ache
As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.

We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.

Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Written
by
Connie Dyer,


"PLEASE SAY THEIR NAMES"

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we're doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Life's slip from frequent recall. There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. Still look. Still ask. Still listen. Thank God for them. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent.

But for us the play will never end. The effects on us are timeless. What can be said, you ask? Please say "their names" to us. Love does not die. Their names are written on our lives. You may feel that they are dead. We feel that they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome. You say, "They were our children"; we say "They are". Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again. It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stays within us always. They were of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. Please understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could.

We know that you cannot know, yesterday we were like you. Understand that we dwell in both flesh and spirit. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with them in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel. What we have gained you may not see. Please say " their names" for they are alive. We will meet them again, although in many ways we've never parted. Their spirits play light songs, appear in sunrises and sunsets. They are real and shadow, they were and they are.

Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again.
They are our children and we love them as we always did.
More each day.

"PLEASE, SAY THEIR NAMES"

- Written by an unknown author posted for all grieving parents -


I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chattered all the way,
but left me none the wiser
for all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

- Robert Browning -


Precious In God's Eyes

The lily only lasts a day
but God creates it anyway.
All that work to make a flower
then it's gone, it had it's hour.

Even though your baby died,
He is still precious in God's eyes.
Your child came and made his mark
He changed your life and touched your heart.

Upon his death, to heaven he soared,
Here for a moment, now with the Lord.

By

Gail Fasolo

' Castles in the Sand '

Sometimes life's most precious things
Slip too quickly from our hands...
Snowflakes, rainbows, childhood,
Castles in the Sand.

God gave us a special spot
to preserve them in our hearts;
A forever place where all we love
lingers when we part.

Fireflies and autumn leaves,
Roses, kittens, dreams,
Icicles, sunrise, spider webs,
Mornings dew, moon beams;

Butterflies and baby birds,
Flowers that bloom in spring...
Perhaps in life God's greatest gifts
Are blessed by Him with wings.

Maria Packett Bell

To those who say to get on with my life, I have.
It is a different life, the life of a grieving mother.
One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for,
but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of!

Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks,
she cleans, she works, she IS,
but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.

Do not dismiss us: we have shaped more than just the future generation.
We have released all the tiny angels who are watching over you.

Open your eyes to US, and you just might see THEM.


I Measure Every Grief

I measure every grief
I meet With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.

I wonder if they bore it long,
Or did it just begin?
I could not tell the date of mine,
It feels so old a pain.

I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether, could they choose between,
They would not rather die.

I wonder if when years have piled
Some thousands--on the cause
Of early hurt, if such a lapse
Could give them any pause;

Or would they go on aching still
Through centuries above,
Enlightened to a larger pain
By contrast with the love.

The grieved are many, I am told;
The reason deeper lies,
Death is but one and comes but once
And only nails the eyes.

There's grief of want, and grief of cold,
A sort they call 'despair,'
There's banishment from native eyes,
In sight of native air.

And though I may not guess the kind
Correctly yet to me
A piercing comfort it affords
In passing Calvary,

To note the fashions of the cross
Of those that stand alone
Still fascinated to presume
That some are like my own.

~ Emily Dickinson ~

GRIEF IS LIKE A RIVER
By Cinthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last.



A Grieving Parent Is...

A grieving parent is someone who will
never forget their child no matter how painful memories are.

A grieving parent is someone who yearns to be with their
dead but cannot conceive leaving their living ones.

A grieving parent is someone who has part of a heart as
the rest is buried with their child.

A grieving parent is someone who begs for relief from
the memories which plague them and then feels guilty when they get it.

A grieving parent is someone who pretends to be happy
and enjoying life when they really are dying inside.

A grieving parent is someone who can cry or laugh at
the drop of a hat whenever they remember their beloved child.

A grieving parent is some who feels as if they just lost
their child yesterday no matter how much time has passed.

A grieving parent is someone who fears for their remaining
family because they cannot bear to have any more losses.

A grieving parent is someone who sits by their child's gravestone
and feels a knife stabbing their heart.

A grieving parent is someone who wants to help others who
have lost loved ones because somehow their loss is theirs all over again.

~ Judy Skapnik ~

[April Alvarez]

Death is a Horizon

Life is eternal;
and love is immortal;
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

Rossiter Worthington Raymond


Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost


Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below,
With tiny lights, like Heaven's Stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away. We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above
I send you each a memory of my underlying love,
After all "love" is the gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,
For I can't count the blessings or love he has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus this year.

- Author Unknown -


There is a special Angel in Heaven
that was a part of me.
It is not where I wanted him
but where God wanted him to be.
He was here but just a moment
like a night time shooting star.
And though he is in Heaven
He isn't very far.
He touched the hearts of many
like only an Angel can do.
I would've held him every minute
if the end I ever knew.
So I send this special message
to the Heavens up above.
Please take care of my Angel
and send him all My Love...

I KNOW YOU LOVED ME

I heard each prayer you said for me,
I heard each word you spoke in love.
I heard all the hopes and dreams you had for me,
I felt each loving touch of your hand,
Each kiss, each cry.
I felt all the tears you shed for me,
I know you loved me, and still do!
Although you can not hold my body,
See my face, My tiny hands and feet,
As long as you remember...
My spirit is never gone!
Even though God chose to take me home,
God doesn't make mistakes!
I wasn't an accident,
I was conceived out of love.
God chose your love to come together
And create, give life, make love.
I'm always there.
Although I never breathed your air, or cried out loud
That doesn't mean I never was,
An angel never dies!
I watch over you, and see all the love you have.
I promise another child you'll bear!
Don't be sad for me,
For I am in Jesus' lap.
As long as you remember me...
I'll always be there!

To: Mommy & Daddy Love:
Your Angel Baby, Isaiah-Grace
(By: Candy Cotton Nov. 9th, 2002)

If Snowdrops
Grow in Heaven

If Snowdrops grow in heaven,
Please pick a bunch for me,
place them in my babies arms
and tell him they're from me.
Tell him I love him and miss him,
and when he turns to smile,
place a kiss upon his cheek
and hold him for a while.
Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
That will never go away.


I Am A Mother

I've loved my child right from the start,
A feeling that's filled my entire heart.
I went through the labor and suffered the pain,
For many long hours with nothing to gain.
I've spent sleepless nights being awake,
Though it's been a while my arms they still ache.
I've sat and I've wondered of how he would grow,
The love of my family that he'd come to know.
The sound of his voice as he learns to talk,
Watching his steps as he tries to walk.
I have a child that I really love so,
I am his mother yet nobody knows.
I've spent all these months feeling him grow,
I've lived through it all and have nothing to show.
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers,
Because I don't have a baby like all the others.
I've got some stretch marks that I'd like to hide,
but I don't have a pram with a baby inside.
The people I've known for so many years,
They avoid me now, which adds to my tears.
I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this,
But one thing I know, my baby I miss.
When Mother's day comes it will be very hard,
I won't have any flowers, not even a card.
And just because he's not here with me,
I still have a son I wish I could see.
But one thing I know and this is for sure,
I'll be his mother forevermore!

- Author Unknown -


Footprints on our Hearts

This tiny set of footprints is all we have of you.
When you were taken from us, all our hopes and dreams were too.
We miss you oh so much, Our precious little boy.
Our lives are filled with sadness now, instead of filled with joy.

Our arms are empty, Our eyes are filled with tears.
You were what we'd waited for, for oh so many years.
You were so very beautiful. Perfect hands and feet, tiny nose and eyes.
What we would have given though, just to hear you cry.

Coming home without you wasn't what we'd dreamed.
Looking at your empty crib makes me want to scream.
We had so many plans for you, So many things to do.
Now we're left with shattered dreams, crying without you.

We wish you could have stayed with us, We loved you from the start.
Now all we have are memories, And your footprints on our hearts.



I Cannot say

I cannot say, and I will not say
That she is dead-she is just away!
With a cheery smile, and the wave of a hand,
She has wandered into an unknown land,
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there;
So think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of there as the love of here;
Think of her the same, I say:
She is not dead-she is just away!

~ James Whitcomb Riley ~

Bitter or Better

Someone told me once that this experience
could change me in one of two ways
It could make me a better person,
or make me bitter for the rest of my days

I have felt both of these feelings
coming from within me
I try to fight the bitterness
and let the betterness free

The people in my life
that I always thought I could count on
Like some family and friends
they are the ones that cause the bitterness to dawn

They are the ones that just don't understand
the emptiness I have met
They are the ones that give me the looks
that say "Aren't you over it yet?"

The new acquaintances
and friends in my life
The people who understand where I am
and relate to my strife

They are the ones that bring out
the betterness from deep down
They let me talk as much as I want and
never meet my tears with a frown

I wish that my new friends
could explain to everyone else
That this is still very common and
perfectly acceptable to have sad spells

I know that I have to fight
the bitterness away
And let the betterness prevail
at the end of the day

If everyone were to understand that
I will always miss my son
Then maybe it wouldn't be just easier
said than done!


When Life Goes On

What is it, I wonder, that we set our hope upon?
There must come a point in this grieving process
when the choice is in my own hands.
In dark moments, I played with the idea of death
listened to it and enjoyed it
as one might enjoy the sweetness of forbidden fruit.
But I made a choice, a decision
as impossible as it seems,
I must learn to live without my child;
for I really have no other choice.
It may take many years
much longer that others expect,
but a time must come when I have to accept
his death in order to accept his life,
and accept my own as well.
Just as surely as my child walked toward eternal life,
I, too,
must walk toward my own light,
finding a way through this tunnel of darkness
to the brightness of a new day.
And in my own time, learn to live again
with laughter, love and joy
for myself, for my child, for those still in need.
So just for this moment,
just for this day,
I set my hope upon tomorrow.


The Rain

Around me falls the silent rain,
Dark clouds sound the thunder.
My body's failed me once again
Can I endure much more? I wonder.

A weakened mind cries out for mercy,
A stronger heart...it quests for hope.
There is no sun - today is dreary,
A shroud of mourning does envelope.

The wrath I sense cannot be stated
In words that one can understand.
All good feelings have now abated,
My tears I wipe with weakened hand.

Fields of lilies grow this spring
They bloom in all their glory...
Yet for me there is no life to bring
My child is but a memory.


Softly the leaves of memory fall
Gently I gather and treasure them all,
Unseen, unheard you are always near,
So missed, so loved, so very dear.
No longer in our lives to share,
But in our hearts you're always there.


Empty Places

The tractor still sits on the shelf in the store,
The overalls rest in a box,
No cowboy boots tossed on the floor by the bed
While the cowboy "rides horse" in his socks.

No sleepy-soft smiles as I nurse him to sleep,
After reading just one story more.
Vrroom-vrrooms and putt-putts aren't heard in our house
No little boy plays on the floor.

No hammer and nails in a two-year-olds hands,
As he struggles to build like his dad,
No smashed thumb, "Please rocky me, Mommy," he sobs,
No spankings--he'll never be bad.

Two impish eyes full of mischief and glee,
Two dirt-smudged small cheeks I can't kiss,
Two little-boy arms giving back my quick hug,
These are some of the blessings we miss.

No boyish voice begging to go with his dad
Out fishing, or hunting for deer,
No tousled blonde crew-cut asleep in his bed,
Drawing forth from my heart a love-tear.

Our new family picture is missing someone,
And so is our home life, it seems,
Yet a small boy goes galloping all 'round the room,
And he lives in my secret heart-dreams.

The tractor still waits on the shelf in the store,
His little lamb silently sleeps,
An empty place echoes a little boy's name
In the memories my dreaming heart keeps.

Arlene Stamy

The most beautiful stones
Have been tossed
By the wind and washed by the water
and polished to brilliance
by lifes strongest storms.

Somehow, somewhere
in all you're going through,
May something
beautiful
Come out of this
for you.

- Author Unknown -

[April Alvarez]

For all those months I held you close
deep inside of me.
I planned your life and dreamed about
the child you'd grow to be
The days went by. I felt you move.
I chose a name for you.
I bought you clothes and fixed your room
it all looked bright and new.
Then all went wrong. The birth was bad.
And you just couldn't live.
You left me there with empty arms.
And all this love to give.
I had one chance to hold you,
to say goodbye to what we shared.
Somehow I felt you would know
how much I really cared.
For I had grown to know you
when you lived inside of me.
And I will always love you.
Though your life will never be.


There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in its life,
more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth.
From the moment it leaves the nest it searches for a thorn tree,
and does not rest until it has found one.
Then, singing among the savage branches,
it impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine.
And, dying, it rises above its own agony to
out-carol the lark and the nightingale.
One superlative song, existence the price.
But the whole world stills to listen,
and God in His heaven smiles.
For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain....
Or so says the legend.

Source: THE THORN BIRDS.
Colleen McCullough.
Great Britain.
1980

We Have Not Got The Plague

(It hurts so much)

We had a death in the family, just short ago,
now people avoid us wherever we go.
It's hard enough for us just taking in fresh air,
or trying to work out what clothes to wear.
When we walk along the street a silent bell must toll,
the street gets so empty, you can almost see the tumbleweed roll.
Our old friends look in shop windows when we pass by,
we just carry on walking and heave a great sigh.
The occasional person will stop to say hello,
when we start to talk, they say sorry must go.
We are trying so hard to get our lives back to normal,
but it's kind of hard when your old friends are so formal.
We feel like shouting out, We have not got the plague,
but it is not their fault that they are so vague.
We will continue to do our daily walks,
but it hurts so much when nobody talks.
The sky fell in on us and our friends fell out,
at night when were are home, all we want to do is scream and shout.
Life for us now will never be the same,
but we really wish that our good friends would remain.

Jim William McVean

What a Grieving

Mother Really Thinks

Hello old friend,
Oh yes you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Don't look away
And change the subject, It's OK.
You see at first I couldn't feel,
It took so long,
but now it's real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see,
I was numb for so very long,
And people said,
"My, She is so strong."
They did not know
I couldn't feel,
My broken heart
made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest,
began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me..
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on,
you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when
I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
"But I thought you were over it,"
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I can't listen to this,
not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say,
"Oh, I'm OK".
But inside I am crying,
as I turn away.
And so my old friend,
I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I've just said to
you in my heart.

Kelly Cummings

9/8/02

' Mothers Dream '

I carried you so lovingly,
Within my gentle womb...
And little did I realise,
Your life would end too soon.

I never got the chance to say
"I love you, little one"...
Before I held you in my arms,
Your life on earth was done.

The grief is indescribable,
To lose a child this way...
All the many hopes and dreams,
Just vanished on that day.

I know I'll see the sun shine bright
Upon my baby's face...
When I finally get to heaven,
All my pain will be erased.

We'll soar the skies together,
As angels two by two...
We'll have a sweet reunion
This mother's dream come true.

~ Unknown Author ~

To My Dearest Family

Where I dwell, there is no pain
There is no cold, no dreary rain
I find a rainbow every day
And touch the sun's most warming rays
I know you wish that I were there
So you could hug and hold me near
So you would see my bright eyes shine
Yet I am yours and you are mine
You ponder years that'll come and go
The little one you won't watch grow
But treasure me safely within your hearts
For there we shall not be apart
I gaze on you from heaven above
I sense your thoughts and feel your love
Please realise, here I am at peace
I pray some of your pain may cease
God did not create a "never" Hence,
once again we'll be together
Until such time that we shall meet
In altered words may I repeat:
I am safe...I am with you...

I Love You

When I fell asleep last night
There was a mild rain
I laid there listening to it fall
Drowning in my pain

"Why did you take my babies?"
I prayed to God asking why
Why did you take them from me?
Why did they have to die?

Why cause so much suffering?
Why take away my dreams?
You must really hate me
At least that's how it seems.

I don't really want an answer
It won't be what I want to hear
I can not have them back now
And that's more than I can bear.

Why did you hurt me so much?
The pain is so bad you know.
I wanted to hold them in my arms
Why couldn't I watch them grow?

When I woke this morning
Getting up was an inner fight
I opened up the curtains to see
The sun shining bright

The grass was so green
The trees were shedding leaves
A soft mist was in the air
Blowing in the Autumn breeze

The birds fly past me freely,
Peacefully they flew high
To the pillow like clouds
On the blanket of blue sky

As the day drew to an end
As the sun began to set
Beautiful colours filled the land
As the sun and the hills met

Darkness filled the sky
And stars began to arrive
They shone like diamonds
And I realised I am alive

God answered my questions
All along I had been blind
The answers were right
There I had to search to find

He has been telling me all along
I just didn't want to see
He had been making it so clear
This is what he said to me...

"I am so sorry that you hurt
Please look close and you'll see
Your children have not gone
They are here and safe with me

I never took them from you
I borrowed them for all to share
They're too beautiful to have to yourself
It simply would be unfair

They are up here with me
They are watching over you
They said to say thank you
And that they love you too.

They ask you to be happy
They ask you not to cry
They say there's no need
They say not to say goodbye

They say they didn't die
For they have not gone
They will live on forever
Your love makes them strong

Did you ever stop and wonder how
There are endless smiles?
How there is so much laughter
And strength to see through trials?

Your children help create it
Their happiness comes through
It comes through in everyone
Everyone including you

Their beauty shines over the world
Just stop and take a look around
It comes through in every smile
In every laugh that can be found

So they say why are you so sad?
For the best thing you can do
To show them that you love them
Is let their happiness shine through

They shine in every sunset
They sparkle in every star
They fly with every breeze
From you they are never far

So they say why hide away in pain?
Let them show their beauty to you
Appreciate their work of art
Let it make you proud too.

I know you wanted to hold them
I'm so sorry they couldn't stay
But I promise you something
They haven't gone away

One day you will hold them
Until then know they are fine
For other than in YOUR arms
Where better than in MINE?"

Mother of 5 angels, Haley

"If I can not hold you in my arms,
there is no others I'd rather you be in than in gods"


Our Bud in Heaven

One bud the Gardener gave us, a fair and only child,
He gave her to our keeping, to cherish undefiled,
She lay upon my bosom, she was our hope, our pride -
Perhaps she was an idol, which we must be denied.
For just as she was opening, in glory to the day,
Came down the Heavenly Gardener and took the bud away.
Yet not in wrath He took her, a smile was on His face,
And tenderly and kindly He bore her from her place.
"Fear not" He whispered, "thy bud shall be restored,
I take her but to plant her, in the garden of the Lord"
Then bid us not to sorrow as those who hopeless weep
For He who gave hath taken and He who took can keep.
And night and morn together, by the open gate of prayer,
We'll go unto our Darling and sit beside her there.
I know 'twill open for us, poor sinners tho' we be,
For it is His dear sake who keeps it and keeps our bud for me.

Under the Walnut Tree

When I face what has left my life,
I bow. I walk outside into the cold,
rain nesting in my hair.
All the houses near me have their lights on.
Somewhere, there is a deep listening.
I stand in the dark for a long time
under the walnut tree, unable to tell anyone,
not even the night, what I know.
I feel the darkness rush towards me,
and I open my arms.

Lynn Martin


The Gift of Someone Who Listens

Those of us who have traveled awhile
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile,
The first mile of no relief.
It wasn't the person with answers,
Who told us the ways to deal.
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.
Think of friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs,
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.
We need to always remember
That, more than the words we speak,
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

Author: Nancy Myerholts


We bereaved are not alone..
Inevitably, we feel about us their arms, their sympathy,
their understanding.
Believe when you are the most unhappy,
that there is something for you to do in the world.

So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not vain.

Helen Keller

"Pooh promise me you won't ever forget me, ever.
Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for awhile
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine"
Pooh nodded,
"I promise," he said
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you."

-A.A. Milne


His and Hers

Helpless.
They both feel helpless.
But they each seek their own roles.
They have to find a way to cope,
To soothe their shattered souls.
He wants to take away her pain,
And make her safe once more.
She wants to share her tears with him,
Bare herself to the core.
He wants to make it better,
And he wants to be assured,
That everything will be okay.
That their love has endured.
She wants to talk some more
about their child who has died.
He thinks that he's done something wrong,
And that is why she sighed.
She's crying once again,
And she won't get out of bed.
He sees her journal perched atop
all those books she's read.
She sees him start new projects,
Go to work and watch TV.
She wonders how he does it,
How he has the energy.
But sometimes, There's a moment,
When they're both on the same plane.
Sometimes, For just a moment,
Their grief seems just the same.
It's in those small shared moments
that they need so very much,
That they find each other reaching,
That they find each other's touch.

Gwen Flowers


Footprints Across our Heart

The door is closed.
The lights turned off.
The closet stands bare.
All the room once waiting...
For the child that should be there.
Sorrow wells up inside of us.
Our tears, an endless flow.
All because we miss the child...
The child we'll never know
No camping trips,
No soccer games,
Nor late evening talks;
No baseball camps or shopping trips,
No shaded mountain walks.
We have not even memories,
To help through times like these
We only have each other as we go down on our knees...
To plead with you,
Our Father,
To take this pain away.
To help us know your love,
Will guide us through each day.
We may never know the reasons,
For this terrible tragedy;
But we can know you love us,
Through all life's mysteries.
Our time was far too brief,
It was over before its start;
But our little angel left behind,
Footprints Across Our Heart

W. Patrick Queen


REFLECTIONS

Ripples of memories,
Waves of dreams
Shimmering surfaces
Not as it seems....

It isn't as clear
In my mind anymore,
Nothing's as simple
As it was before.

But somehow I know,
Past the ripples and rings
It all becomes clear,
There are brighter things.

I don't understand
The how's or the whys,
Of silent babies
And mother's cries


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOMMY

A kiss to you on mothers day,
A hug from me to you.
I know that you are sad sometimes,
I know that you are blue.

Please wipe away that tear,
Put on a happy face.
For I'm with God in Heaven now,
Oh mommy, what a wonderful place!

God gave me wings so I could fly,
They are white with a hint of blue.
I'm a big boy mommy, with these wings of mine,
They carry me down to visit you.

God is teaching me how to catch your prayers,
prayers that come as wishes.
Your wish is the same everyday,
A wish that I could have stayed.

I have a prayer for you now mommy,
I pray that you will hear.
God needed me here with him,
I have no pain or fear.

For I am an Angel now you see,
I watch over you each night and day.
A little piece of heaven on earth,
Guiding you on your way.

I come to tuck you in each night,
As you wanted to do with me.
I hear your prayers, and kiss your cheek,
Then I watch you dream.

Before I leave you and go back home,
I look at you and sigh.
And as I fly back to heaven,
I sing you a lull-a-bye.

A kiss to you on mothers day,
A hug from me to you.
I love you mommy, please don't cry,
You'll get to hold me soon.

Heather Peterson

written for

Gage Alexander Peterson

Signs

My angel sends a butterfly,
To land upon my arm.
He sends me signs to let me know,
He's safe & loved & warm.

My angel sends me rainbows
On a cloudy day.
I understand that he is near,
And things will be okay.

Today be sent me snowflakes,
From a sunny sky above.
I could feel his presence,
And the power of his love.

My angel sends me little signs
In the moon and skies
The signs are subtle, yet I know,
They're meant just for my eyes.

I look for all these little signs,
To comfort me each day.
The signs can even make me laugh,
My angel loves to play!

These signs are The Creator's things,
And you might think it's odd,
To believe my angel sends these signs,
He does...He's one with God.

Author: Jamie Van Der Meer

I stood beside your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
quietly in your sleep.

I touched you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour coffee,
You were thinking of how much
you longed to be with me.

I was with you at the store today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not really there.

I walked with you to the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you,
I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near
you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew ...
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and
watch you yawning and say "goodnight,
God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right

for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand,
side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out
then come home to be with me.


The Awakening

This morning, upon my husband's pillow,
A tear.
Last night I heard no weeping.
I felt no rhythmic shaking.
Yet there it is - Glistening,
silent testimony to pain.

Quickly I reach to blot it,
As if one swift brush
could set the world right again
But something stays my hand -
Stops me to wonder,
"Am I the cause of weeping?"

In my life is much sorrow,
Dreadful longing and emptiness
That even my husband cannot fill.
Sorrow brings sleepless nights in fear
Of other phone calls and ambulances
More longing and emptiness.

My husband shares this loss,
But men don't cry
They nod gravely and tend to details,
Make arrangements and give support
Yet, there it is upon his pillow -
A tear.

Have I given way to grief
And forgotten one who shares?
Have I made no room for his tears
In the flood of mine?
Am I the reason he weeps
Only in the silence of night?

I close my hand
To leave the tear drying there.
No more will I blot out his pain
To tend to mine,
For we must share
In order to live - together.


Marcia F Alig - New Jersey


No one remembers, I cannot say why,
Only thing I keep thinking, is that nobody tried.
You were mine, only mine, no one knew you like me.
I don't know why he couldn't just let you be.

We shared so much in our short time together,
And the time that we shared has made memories forever.
So much I learned, so much I lost,
Everything turned, toppled, and tossed.

Butterfly flutters, then turns and kicks,
Then that sad day...was my mind playing tricks?
No cry, no movement, not even a breath,
As you lay on my tummy...Perfect even in death.

When I think of you now at the age you would be,
A beautiful little boy is the child I see.
My son you were, my son you'll always be,
And one, that is us, you and me.


RISE UP SLOWLY, ANGEL

Rise up, slowly, Angel.
I cannot let you go.
Just drift softly midst the faces,
In sorrow now bent low.

Ease the searing anger,
Born in harsh unyielding truth
That Death could steal my loved one
From the glowing blush of youth.

Rise up slowly, Angel.
Do not leave me hear alone,
Where the warmth of mortal essence
Lies replaced by cold, hard stone.

Speak to me in breezes
Whispered through the drying leaves,
And caress my brow with raindrops
Filtered by the sheltering trees

Rise up slowly, Angel,
For I cannot hear the song
Which calls you through the shadows
Into the light beyond.

Wrap me in your downy cape Of sunshine,
warm with love,
And kiss a tear-stained mother's face
With moonlight from above.

Then wait for me at sunset,
Beside the lily pond,
And guide me safely homeward
To your world,which lies beyond.

Just spread your wings and take me
In reunion's sweet embrace,
And we shall soar, together,
To a different time and place.

by

Diane Robertson
of Cape Cod, Massachusetts.


When God sends forth a little soul
To learn the ways of earth
A mothers love is waiting there
We call this miracle birth
When God call back a tiny soul
And stills a fleeting breath
A Fathers love is waiting there
This too is birth, not death.

JUST FOR TODAY

(FOR BEREAVED PARENTS)

by

Vicki Tushingham

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.

Just for today I will honor my child's memory by doing something with another child because I know that would have made my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship to another bereaved parent, for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.

Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child I had for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did, my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.


Dear Lord,

This pain is much too hard to bare,
once again I'm kneeling by my chair.
You know grief's heartache and pain,
you see my tears that fall like rain.
You know this has brought me to my knees,
help me Lord, I'm begging, please.
This world has no meaning since that awful day,
I had to stand by while you led my son away.
I know Heaven is our home and glory is so grand...
But, I can't help my family when I can't even stand.
Everyone expects more from me because I am, The Dad.
They don't understand he was the best friend I ever had.
Lord, I'll never understand why our children have to die,
but would help others know when this happens....
even strong men cry.


Men Do Cry

I heard quite often "men don't cry"
Though no one ever told me why
So when I fell and skinned a knee
No one came to comfort me.

And when some bully boy at school
Would pull a prank so mean and cruel
I'd quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn't hurt", and bite my lip.

So as I grew to reasoned years
I learned to stifle any tears.
Though "be a big boy" it began,
Quite soon I learned to "be a man".

And I could play that stoic role
While storm and tempest wracked my soul
No pain or setback could there be
Could wrest one single tear from me.

Then one long night I stood nearby
And helplessly watched my son die,
And quickly found to my surprise
That all that tearless talk was lies.

And still I cry and have no shame
I cannot play that "big boy" game,
And openly without remorse
I let my sorrow take it's course.

So those of you who can't abide
A man you've seen whose often cried,
Reach out to him with all your heart
As one whose life's been torn apart.

For men do cry when they can see
Their loss of immorality.
And tears will come in endless streams
When mindless fate destroys their dreams.

~ By Ken Faulk ~

[April Alvarez]

A Mother's Crown

Heaven lit up with His mighty presence,
as all the Angels looked down.
Today the Lord was placing the jewels
in all the mother's crowns.

As He held up a golden crown,
as all the mother's looked on.
He said in His gentle voice,
"I just want to explain each stone."

He held the first gem in His hand
but the radiance couldn't match His own.
For He was the light of Heaven,
reflecting off each of the stones.

"The first gem," He said, "is an emerald,
and it's for endurance alone,
for all the nights you waited up
for your children to come home.

For all the nights by their bedside,
you stayed till the fever went down.
For nursing every little wound,
I add this emerald to your crown."

"A ruby, I'll place by the emerald,
for leading your child in the right way.
For if you hadn't taught them about Me,
they wouldn't be here with you today.

For always being right there,
through all life's important events.
I give you a sapphire stone,
for the time and love you spent."

"For untying the strings that held them,
when they grew up and left home.
I give you this one for courage."
Then the Lord added an amethyst stone.

"I'll place a stone of garnet," He said.
"For all the times you spent on your knees,
when you asked Me to take care of your children,
and then for having faith in Me."

"I have a pearl for every little sacrifice
that you made without them knowing.
For all the times you went without,
to keep them happy, healthy, and growing."

"And last of all I have a diamond,
the greatest of all gems,
for those mother's who lost their children
when they came home to heaven before them."

"This is the most precious sacrifice.
So I give them the most precious stone.
For I know just how you felt...
I too lost a child of My own."

After the Lord placed the last jewel in,
He said, "Heaven is now complete.
For every mother has her crown of jewels,
and all her children are at her feet."

~ Author unknown ~

[April Alvarez]

' Sometimes the most beautiful symphonies are the unfinished ones.'


I felt your presence there inside of me,
nestled soft and warm;
Sweet scent of baby's breath,
precious words left unadorned.

I saw your tiny heartbeat,
then I knew that you were fine;
A perfect baby we created,
one that would be mine.

Then that tragic day it came
there was nothing I could do,
Only wait and hope for the
precious life of you.

Yes in the beginning your
Daddy was afraid;
Only he would love you unconditional
and never run away.

He loved you more
this I do know as he cried for you that day,
When the doctor said that you were gone,
Daddy wanted you to stay.

He would have held you close to him,
and see your perfect form,
A gift of Daddy's love,
would have kept you safe and warm.

Only now you are an angel
over me beautiful and bare,
My heart would hurt if you cried for me
and Mommy was not there.

Still we are together
in my heart and memories,
You are still a part
of my memory.

Rest gently now sweet baby
there is no pain you are never alone,
I know you are with the guiding angels
in your peaceful home.

I will come with you someday
only now is not my time,
Then we will be together again
again you will be mine.



Heaven's Playground

When children go to Heaven
What do they do all day
Is there someone up there for them
To join with them in play?

Will there be someone to hold them
And cuddle them with love
Will they teach them how to fly
With the Angels up above?

I think I know the answer
And it fills my heart with joy
A place called Heaven's Playground
For every girl and boy.

They're Angels blowing bubbles
And music fills the air
Tiny pups to play with
I know they're happy there.

Charlotte Anselmo

Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost,
but never after the loss of a treasure.


Telling It Over Again

In each re-telling
there comes a little bit of healing,
a little more acceptance
of the reality of our loss.

In each retelling
there comes another acknowledgment,
of the uniqueness of the personhood
of our precious missing child.

In each retelling
there comes a little less uncertainty,
a little more internal peace
of the finality of their death.

In each retelling
there comes a greater recognition,
an important affirmation
of the memories we hold dear.

In each retelling
we seek a patient audience,
who'll graciously accept our need to tell them
one more time.

Miriam Blake 1997


The Sound of An Angel

The sound of an Angel
Her wings flying around me
The sound of her winds, I can hear
But it's her face I cannot see

She is an Angel in heaven
With God most high
She became an Angel
Before my hello or my good-bye

The tiny little Angel
Born too silent, too still
But I have to turn my heart to heaven
And know it must have been God's will

To take her away from
All the love that I had
Knowing she has gone before me
Should make me happy, not sad

So I am asking you Lord
To carry me through these hard times
Until I walk through your Golden Gates
And once again my daughter can be mine.

Written by: Cassie Davis Date: August 27, 2003

BEFORE YOU CAN DRY ANOTHER'S TEARS

Let me not live a life that's free
From THE THINGS that draw me close to THEE

For how can I ever hope to heal
The wounds of others I do not feel

If my eyes are dry and I never weep,
How do I know when the hurt is deep

If my heart is cold and it never bleeds,
How can I tell what my brother needs

For without "crosses to carry" and "burdens to bear",
We dance through a life that is frothy and fair,

And "chasing the rainbow" we have no desire
For "roads that are rough" and "realms that are higher"

So spare me no heartache or sorrow, dear Lord,
For the heart that is hurt reaps the richest reward,

And God enters the heart that is broken with sorrow
As He opens the door to a BRIGHTER TOMORROW,

For only through tears can we recognize
The suffering that lies in another's eyes.

Helen Steiner Rice


God's Tiniest Angels

By

Millie Hutton
copyright 2003

There was a meeting up in Heaven
and the angels gathered round.
God spoke, They will soon be coming.
Let the trumpets sound.

Make way for my tiniest angels, God said,
for they are almost here.
Watch over them; I must go now,
and help dry their mother’s tears.

And so God went to His special place
to hear the mothers pray,
Tears fell from His eyes as He listened
to what they had to say.

The prayers were very different
yet seemed to blend into one:
You have my tiny angel, God,
but my crying has just begun.

I’m human and I’m weak, God,
and I don’t know what to do,
I need your love and strength,
and your help to get me through.

Please allow me one more thing
before I say Amen and go,
I need to speak to my babies now,
so my love they will always know.

God gathered the tiniest angels
in His arms so they could hear
their earthly mothers speaking from their hearts,
And through their tears.

From Gods eyes as well as the angels
Tears began to leak,
And the trumpets sounded in Heaven,
As the mothers began to speak.

I can’t hold you, I can’t see you,
Or count fingers and count toes,
Nor wrap you in a blanket,
And kiss your little nose.

Ill never feel your heartbeat
As you lie against my chest,
But to question would be wrong,
For God always does know best.

Ill never hear I love you,
Or mommy read to me.
It hurts so much to want you,
Knowing you weren’t meant to be.

Although you were taken from me
You will always feel my love.
I know God will allow that
In His kingdom up above.

Don’t be afraid my little ones,
For you are in a special place.
And don’t worry about me;
God will dry the tears upon my face.

He needed more tiny angels
But we are never far apart.
You’re not in my arms, my little ones,
But you’re forever in my heart.

Then God spoke to the tiny angels
And dried each little tear.
Your mother isn’t with us now,
But soon she will be here.

And when you reunite with her
For all of Heaven to see,
She will hold you close and love you
Throughout eternity.


Father's Day
Just a note, a little note,
she asked me for a note.
And so it is with pen in hand
This is what I wrote.
I wrote of Father's Day
and what it meant
to be minus my boys.
My little gents.
I wrote of the days
during which I cry
in those private places
where no one can spy.
I wrote of memories
which always flood back,
Like the wind that whistles
down this well worn track.
Then I turned away
from this path of distress
'cause I know so well
that strength is my quest,
and is easily found
in those who are left.
So Father's Day is like any other:
In love with my children
and their dear mother.



Song for an empty cradle

FOR ANDREA

Out my bedroom window rests my gaze
Through the mist of emptiness and pain's grey haze
I watch the patterns softly formed and changed.
The hillsides' grasses gently rearranged
By the winds' caressing touch.
From my womb she fell; my breath was stilled
By fear and pain and yet my heart was filled
By the overwhelming wonder of what was Andrea
That now lay white and quiet in my hand.
My baby, my prayers, the life that I had planned
Were gone. And in their place was left
A desert. Hot and empty so bereft
of hope, save for the splintered dreams I'd planned
That shined like broken bottles in the sand.
And soon the minutes into long months turn,
And even with time's comfort still I yearn
To hold her once in warm embrace
And say goodbye, and yet, there is a place
I carry her still, within my heart, steadfast;
For even the briefest of memories last.
Out my bedroom window rests my gaze
Through the mist of emptiness and pain's grey haze.
I watch the patterns softly rearranged
And know my life, my dreams have all been changed.
My daughter's life was brief yet such
That in my emptiness I have so much.

Clara Wilbrandt - Koenig


Don’t Patronise Me

"It’s for the best" I hear them say
You don’t know that, just go away
So how do you suppose that can be?
My baby's been taken away from me
So why does God need him more
Do you know that can you be sure?
He should be safe and warm with me
I'm am his mother: can't you see
Yes I know I can try again
But I never want to suffer this pain
And no I don't want another
I want this baby, not his sister or brother
Why do you think you know the best?
My baby has been laid to rest
And no you don't know what I'm going through
Losing a baby's never happened to you


FOR MY DADDY
Daddy I Love you,
I know you love me.
I'm proud of you Daddy,
As proud as can be.

I heard your voice Daddy,
Did you see me squirm?
I couldn't wait Daddy,
To be held in your arms.

I still love you Daddy,
I can't wait to hug you.
But know I am with Jesus
And he loves me too.

It's okay to cry Daddy,
I'll kiss you up here.
Please know that I love you
And God sees your tears.

It won't be long Daddy
Just wait and you'll see,
We'll play together always
My Daddy and me.

Written By Maralee Malingowski


Your Shawl

Too tiny for clothes
I bought you a shawl
A delicate white
To cover your all.
Soft baby yarn
With a beautiful fringe
I told them to wrap you
Carefully within.
My heart ached to hold you
And just keep you near
To wrap you and rock you
But they might see a tear.
So I let perfect strangers
Do what I could have done
If only my shame
Of tears had not won.
I will never forget
As they lowered your box
That slight bit of fringe
Peeking out from the top.
My sweet baby boy
Who went far away
Please stay a baby
I'll rock you some day.

Created With Love

Pam Howerton


I had now joined a group of women who had to give their child back. They look like other women and they function like other women. But there is an emptiness inside of them that never goes away. At any given time of year when no one knows what they are talking about, they will look wistful and remark that the baby would be three years old today, or five, or ten. They play with the probabilities...the would have beens...could have beens...should have beens...and forever question, "Why?"

Erma Bombeck


Birthdays do not end with death,
But last as long as love,
A maelstrom of memories
That grace and honor move.

And so we celebrate your day
By visiting your grave,
A place that you have left long since,
But is all that we have.

Dear spirit, come and join us here,
Your loved ones by your stone!
Come sweep across the barrier
To claim us as your own!

Happy birthday, dearest one!
Oh, happy, happy day!
Not even the most bitter night
Can take this joy away!


" The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye."

Dreams

Is it possible, tell me, to hold onto dreams
When they've crumbled to ashes, and nothing it seems..
Remains but the memories of happier days
When tomorrow held promise in infinite ways.
Can you hold onto hope after losing a child?
When nothing makes sense, and nothing's worthwhile?
When the days and the nights all roll into one,
and though moving's an effort, it's easy to run...
But no matter how fast there appears no escape
From the pain and heartache that follow and shape
the efforts we make to hold onto our dreams..
That have crumbled to ashes, that are haunted, it seems
By our constant companions of guilt and despair;
horror and grief tag along everywhere.
Where are our answers, where does pain end?
I search and I suffer - I ask you again..
Can you hold onto hope after losing a child?
When nothing makes
sense,
and
nothing's
worthwhile?

Sally Migliaccio


Tiny Angel

Tranquil in your mother's embrace
Her silent tears upon your face
Heartbroken, your father silently weeps
As you, his precious little boy sleeps

For a fleeting moment each of us held you
And whispered a prayer to help us through
From your eternal sleep you never stirred
Not a sound from you was ever heard

You remained both silent and still
For this little Aidan, was God's will
You became a tiny angel before your birth
Chosen to leave all of us here on earth

We will not get to see you laugh and play
Or get to hug and kiss you every day
We will think of you with each passing day
Loving you in every single way

Our hearts are heavy with grief
Because you moment here was too brief
Today we may shed our tears and grieve
But tomorrow we will need to set you free

For God has given you wings to fly
And a home in his sun-kissed sky
Someday all of our spirits will once again lift
For waiting in heaven is a precious gift

Aidan, a tiny angel chosen before his birth
Watching over all of us here on earth

Written by: Gwendolyn Milstein May 2004

Our Baby
An empty space where life once stirred
My eyes were not yet seeing
Where once my heartbeat shared one tone
with a small and fragile being
So scarcely formed yet still a life
A dream, a hope, a promise.
Our plans were changed to now include
This new life thrust upon us.
Then just as quickly as it came
Our dreams were gone away.
The deepest pain I've ever felt
Our baby died today.
With footprints left upon our hearts,
She gently took her leave.
We've left with nothing to regret,
And only time to grieve.
There was no service to be held,
No mourning time required.
No songs of longing and despair,
No words to be inspired.
We're simply told to bare the pain,
"It's Nature's Way" they say
But I can not forget
our baby moved inside me yesterday.
And with each word of sorrow,
My teardrops fall like rain.
The anger and resentment
are mixed with guilt and pain.
I look to Heaven for a sign,
To help search out a course
Where love can teach acceptance,
and eliminate remorse
My body will accept the truth,
That now our baby's gone
But in our hearts our angel
Everlastingly lives on!

Teri Stuckmann
copyright of 1995


" When someone dies, you don't get over it by forgetting; you get over it by remembering, and you are aware that no person is ever truly lost or gone once they have been in our life and loved us, as we have loved them."

Leslie Marmon Silko


What is Normal?
Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for
Christmas, birthday, Valentine's day, and Easter.

Normal is discussing with a friend in the Netherlands how different
funeral customs are there than here. Discussing how much both our
children loved the things they loved and how those things are now
sitting lonely collecting dust.

Normal is talking to a co-worker and the conversation going toward how
you felt after your child died.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat
buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with
a funeral than a wedding or a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of
pain in your heart when you smell the flowers, see that casket, and all
the crying people.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up
and screaming cause you just don't like to sit through church anymore.

Normal is going to bed feeling like your kids who are alive got cheated
out of happy cheerful parents and instead they are stuck with sober,
cautious people.

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize
someone important is missing from all the important events in your
families' life.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's and why
didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have
noise because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every little girl or boy who looks about my angels
age. And then thinking of the age my angel would be now and not being
able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine
it because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with
sadness lurking close behind because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is seeing my son at the cemetery visiting his sisters grave and
thinking, how could this be normal? He shouldn't have to be going
through this.

Normal is singing a song and feeling really great about doing well,
followed by an immediate down after thinking how my child would have
said, "That was beautiful Momma" (whether it really was or not).

Normal is telling the story of my childs death as if it were an everyday
common place activity and then gasping in horror at how awful it sounds.
And yet realizing it has become part of our normal.

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor
your child's memory and their birthday and survive those days. And
trying to find the balloon or flag that fits the occasion. Happy
Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of a penguin.
Thinking how they would love it, but how they're here to enjoy it.

Normal is disliking jokes about death, funerals. Bodies being referred
to as cadavers when you know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything but someone stricken with
grief over the loss of their child.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother and meeting for
coffee and talking and crying together over our children and our new
lives. And worrying together over our living children.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned house
or did laundry or if there is any food in the house.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two or
three children because you will never see this person again and it is not
worth explaining that one of them is in heaven. And yet when you say
only two to avoid that problem you feel horrible as if you have betrayed
that child.

Normal is feeling terribly hurt when you see your child's power point
presentation at parent/teacher's conference and that child has listed no
sister. Then you realize the way the information is set up there really
is no logical place to list the sister who has died and went to heaven.
And how awkward that must of been for him to think about the problem.

Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger King playgrounds because of
small happy children that break your heart when you see them.

Normal is wondering angrily a month later why your husband isn't still
crying, while he wonders angrily why you haven't stopped.

Normal is planning alternate routes through stores so you don't have to be
confronted with the "dreaded aisles," while nevertheless dodging strollers no
matter which way you go.

Normal is not knowing whether or not you can accept an invitation to your
cousin's wedding next month because you don't know if you will be having one of
your breakdowns that day.

Normal is being afraid to surf the internet, watch TV, read a book or listen
to the radio because of the world conspiring to salt your wounds by
saying/showing the wrong things.

Normal is wanting another baby in your arms so badly you can taste it, but
feeling so disloyal and being so, so afraid.

Normal is having an angel pin specifically designed for your child...not as a
gift, but as a memorial.

Normal is sometimes forgetting that our own parents' hearts are broken
twice...once for their lost grandchild, and again for their child who is lost in
a sense just as final.

Normal is sitting outside at night, staring into the sky, wondering why you
aren't one of the people blessed enough to see a sign or experience a miracle
that you know is being sent just to comfort you.

Normal is sometimes not being able to bear looking at photo albums, and other
times being so grateful they're covered in plastic so your endless flow of
tears won't ruin the pictures...

[April Alvarez]

What My Child Has Taught Me

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes a lot of practice.

I've learned that friends can become strangers, and strangers can become friends.

I've learned that ignorance isn't an excuse for the lack of compassion.

I've learned that some people will never, ever - "get it".

I've learned that the community of sorrow is the strongest of all.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that love isn't measured by the amount of time you have with someone.

I've learned that some sorrow is so deep that it has no words. But so is love.

What has your child taught you?

[April Alvarez]

I couldn't breathe for all the beauty there,
my lungs were bursting from the free pure air.
Our bodies resting on the clear sweet earth,
Our spirits come alive as new as birth.
I couldn't tell you where the hours went,
I was with you, so I was content.

Christine Hackett

In memory of Lindy 18 months


A Mother's Day Wish From Heaven

By

Jody Seilheimer

Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother,
as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought,
I saw every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card,
from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too,
no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she's cried.
I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories are our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents,
trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way to remind her
of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you'll do your best
I have done all I can do;
to you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.


A Candle for Your Child

Today you will light a little white candle
and say aloud your child's name.
For one fateful day, your life was changed.
The holidays will never be the same.

Today you will light a little white candle
and hang an ornament on a special tree.
Who would have thought you would be in this place?
Sharing your child as a memory.

Today you will light a little white candle,
a small gesture to some others.
Here we share the pain of our loss,
with Mothers, Fathers, Sisters & Brothers.

Today you will light a little white candle,
and as you gaze into the flame,
may comforting memories flood your mind,
as you proudly say your child's name.

Today you will light a little white candle,
With us your compassionate friends...
For all of us know that though they're not here,
our Love for Them NEVER ends.


Don't ask us if we are over it yet. We'll never be over it.
A part of us died with our child.
Don't tell us they are in a better place.
They are not here with us where they belong.

Don't say at least they are not suffering.
We haven't come to terms with why they suffered at all.

Don't tell us at least we have other children.
Which of your children would you have sacrificed?

Don't ask us if we feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.

Don't force your beliefs on us.
Not all of us have the same faith.

Don't tell us at least we had our child for so many years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?

Don't tell us God never gives us more than we can bear.
Right now we don't feel we can handle anything else.

Don't avoid us.
We don't have a contagious disease, just unbearable pain.

Don't tell us you know how we feel, unless you have lost a child.
No other loss can compare to losing a child. It's not the natural order of things.

Don't take our anger personally.
We don't know who we are angry at or why and lash out at those closest to us.

Don't whisper behind us when we enter a room.
We are in pain, but not deaf.

Don't stop calling us after the initial loss.
Our grief does not stop there and we need to know others are thinking of us.

Don't be offended when we don't return calls right away.
We take each moment as it comes and some are worse than others.

Don't tell us to get on with our lives.
We each grieve differently and in our own time frame.
Grief can not be governed by any clock or calendar.

Do say you are sorry. We're sorry, too, and you saying
that you share our sorrow is far better than saying any of those
tired cliches you don't really mean anyway. Just say you're sorry.

Do put your arms around us and hold us.
We need your strength to get us through each day.

Do say you remember our child, if you do.
Memories are all we have left and we cherish them.

Do let us talk about our child.
Our child lived and still lives on in our hearts, forever.

Do mention our child's name.
It will not make us sad or hurt our feelings.

Do let us cry. Crying is an important part of the grief process.
Cry with us if you want to.

Do remember us on special dates.
Our child's birth date, death date and holidays are
a very lonely and difficult time for us without our child.

Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember our child.
We do.

Do show our family that you care.
Sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain.

Do be thankful for children.
Nothing hurts us worse than seeing other people in pain.

~ Original version was written by Mary Cleckley, Atlanta, GA ~
~ Revised by Wendy Lockman ~


A Poem for My Friends

I ask you not to grieve with me
For my loss you cannot know
And please don't tell me how you understand
But this is just how some things go.
I ask you not to know my pain
Or tell me it was God's will
And please don't tell me how another child
Will my ache and my need fulfill.
There are times when words are void of meaning
There is nothing that anyone can say
Just hold my hand and sit with me
Till I can cope in a better way.
Pray for me and the child we lost
Help me believe in a better day
Help me to hope and to somehow know
I'll survive this all some way.
And when I mention
Lindsay's name
Please try not to look ashamed
For I loved her more than life itself
And I will always speak her name.
Do not tell me it should be over now
And we cannot change the past
You cannot understand, my friend,
This grief does not leave when asked!
Just bear with me, in my grief
and the turmoil of my mind
And pray that on some future day
I'll not comfort you in kind.

Corry Roach


Tiny Angel
Tiny hands that hold a lifetime
connect your heart to mine.
Tiny fingers trace the lifelines
of two souls that intertwined.
Tiny nose and tiny eyes
In a tiny little face
Reminders of your beauty
Quickly gone, without a trace.
Tiny kicks and tiny wiggles,
Stopped in the silence of one breath
As my tiny, lovely angel
Was caressed and kissed by death.
A tiny life stopped in one heartbeat,
Oh, how could this be?
You passed through my life, my heart, my soul
You became a part of me.
Tiny whispers, tiny words
Never to be heard.
But your echos live forever,
My tiny, precious son.

Jennifer Gates


You Were Loved

Before your eyes had opened to the light,
Before you could smile and coo all night
Before arms could reach to hold you tight
You were loved, you were loved, you were loved.

Before you had time not to like it here,
Before you had time to show any fear
Before you had time to shed a tear
You were gone, you were gone, you were gone.

I am writing this poem to let you know
That I never really wanted to let you go.
I wanted to keep you here and let you know
You were loved, you were loved, you were loved.

Brenda Reichstein

" Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. "

Antoine Rivarol

" And God Said "

I said, "God, I hurt."
and God said, "I know."
I said, "God, I cry a lot."
and God said, "That's why I gave you tears."
I said, "God, I am so depressed."
and God said, "That's why I gave you sunshine."
I said, "God, life is so hard."
and God said, "That's why I gave you loved ones."
I said, "God, my loved one died."
and God said, "So did Mine."
I said, "God, it is such a loss."
and God said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross."
I said, "God, but Your loved one lives."
and God said, "So does yours."
I said, "God, where are they now?"
and God said, "Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light."
I said, "God, it hurts."
and God said, "I know."
Posted on the wall at the
Oklahoma City bombing site
by KC & Myke Kuzmic
Stockton, Ca.

She was born on a cold winter day
The ground covered with frost
And in my arms I held a baby
My baby child lost.

She had skin that was as soft as silk
And lips a rosey red
Her mother's nose and a hidden smile
Curly hair on her head.

A person I'd do anything for
No matter what the cost
But she is my angel in Heaven
She is my child lost.

No pushing her out on the swingset
No picnics in the park
Only an emptyness inside me
An emptyness so dark.

No toys for her and me to play with
No balls that we can toss
No trips to see Grandma and Grandpa
My baby child lost.

Now it is fall and I do reflect
Like color on a leaf
About the time we spent together
A time that was too brief.

She is my precious baby daughter
She's everything to me
I know there will be a day sometime
Together we shall be.

She was born on a cold winter day
The ground covered with frost
A baby not to be forgotten
A baby child lost.
By Todd Blum

In Loving Memory of
Ella Marie Blum

Stillborn January 26, 2004 at 38 weeks, 4 days gestation
7 lb, 13 oz and 21 3/4 inches

Delivered at Dupont Hospital, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Due date: February 5, 2004


My heaven is a simple place,
I don't need streets of gold.
My heaven has a rocking chair
And my sweet child to hold.


I am drawn quietly to her grave to check on her,
Just as I'd have been drawn quietly to her crib.
I trim the grass around her marker
And dream of triming the bangs from her forehead.
I place flowers in her vase
And dream of putting flowers in her hair.
I hold her memory dearly in my heart
While I dream of holding her tenderly in my arms.


THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
By Terry Kettering

There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.

Yet we squeeze by with,
“How are you?” and, “I’m fine,”
and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather;
we talk about work;
we talk about everything else—
except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about
the elephant in the room.

Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say “Barbara” again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about
the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about her death,
perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say, “Barbara” to you
and not have you look away?
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone
in a room—with an elephant.

[April Alvarez]

The tide recedes but leaves behind
Bright seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth
Still lingers on the land.
The music stops... and yet it echoes
On, in sweet refrains.
For every joy that passes-
Something beautiful remains.



A butterfly lights beside us
Like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment,
Its glory and beauty
Belong to our world.

But then it flies on again...

And though we wish
It could have stayed
We feel so lucky
To have seen it at all.

[April Alvarez]

another one I wrote, for my cowboy friend

Cowboy Up
Lord, I see the beauty You've laid before me
In the dawn and the sunset.
Throughout my day I see Your wonders
But 'til the dusk let me forget
Please don't remind me of the vibrance
That my child, in death, can't share
Hide my pain until the darkness
Then let me know that You're still there.

Let the night go on much longer
So no eye will see me weep
Keep my suffering tears to shed
When all others are fast asleep
Don't let the sunshine remind me of him
Or then my tears would be too plain.
Let the thunder drown my anguish
And let my tears hide in the rain.

[April Alvarez]

Accompanied by angels...
Surrounded with love...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some stay just a little while and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.

We're not so very far apart... God can see us both.

No flame that was born in love can ever be extinguished.

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
Hans Christian Anderson

The Best
The best and most beautiful
things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched
They must be felt with the heart.

One Day At A Time
Help me believe in what
I could be, and all that I am.
Show me the Stairway
I have to climb, Lord,
for my sake, teach me to take
One Day At A Time.

Because you are never gone from my thoughts...
Because you live on in my heart...
You are with me
~Always~

They say time in Heaven is like the blink of an eye here on Earth...
So if it helps, think of your baby happily smiling up at Jesus' beautiful face. And by the time he turns around to see if you are there...
you will be.

[April Alvarez]

The Story of the Dragonfly

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" Up, up, up it slowly went....Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...

"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea". "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."
"We promise", they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body.

He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: "the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...


"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."

And the dragonfly winged off happily into it's wonderful new world of sun and air...

[April Alvarez]

there are two ways to look at life. one is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is.
albert einstein

like lightning
brief but fiery was your life
and those you touched
will never be the same

Blue Against Blue
Marjalein Bowden

This heavenly blue butterfly
will fly high in the sky,
higher and higher...
The sunlight will touch
the blue on its wings
until it seems to disappear.

We think it is gone,
because the blue of the butterfly
is the exact same blue of the sky.

We think it is gone,
because our eyes are too weak to see-
and it is difficult
to believe what we cannot see.

But the blue butterfly is not gone.
It is still flying,
higher and higher,
nearer the sun.

Blue against blue.

For now and forever.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you,
I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.

[Julie Jackson]

I know this is not a saying, but what do you put for the birth and death date? I hate the word died,
I have been putting

Delivered onto Earth
~
Received into Heaven
June 1, 2008

I was wondering what others did

[Kirk Kief]

I use:
Birth Date
Angel date

[carissa13]

I used Birth Date and Heaven Date

[Jayme]

I used "born to Heaven" and "Born to the arms of his Savior" - this worked for me because my son was stillborn. I like what you used also.

[MichelleS]

Anytime i put dates on things i put...

Birth Date ~ Grew Angel Wings ~

or some times i will put

Birth Date ~ Became an Angel ~

[Pat Wimpee]

Beautiful Poems everyone, I wrote this after my first session.
Song of Angel’s

You’ll see me again in heaven
But I’ll be with you everyday
You’ll know me by the caressing breeze
Blowing gentle across your face
In random acts of kindness
From people everywhere
In the fluttering wings of butterflies
Dancing through the air
Look for me in the warm sunshine of the dawn
But do not cry for I’m not really gone.

You’ll see me in the twinkling stars
On a frosty winter night
And in the dappled shadows
Of summer’s pale moonlight
Feel me in the loving touch
Of a friend’s warm embrace
Hear me in the soothing sounds
Of raindrops on the leaves
While soft summer rain
Helps wash away your grief
Yes, look for me in the warm sunshine of the dawn
But do not cry, for I’m not really gone

[CarlaJ]

I would like to share this poem. I came across it again today. I love this one. I hope it will give comfort and encouragement to all who need it. I'm not sure who the author is.

GOD

I asked for strength,
...and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom,
...and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity,
...and God gave me brain and brawn to work.
I asked for courage,
...and God gave me danger to overcome.
I asked for love,
...and God gave me troubled people to help.
I asked for favors,
...and God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted,
...I received everything I needed.

GOD knows when you are tired
and discouraged from fruitless effort.
GOD knows how hard you have tried,
when you've cried
so long, your heart is in anguish.
GOD has counted your tears.

If you feel that your life is on hold
and time has passed you by,
GOD is waiting for you.
When nothing makes sense
and you are confused or frustrated,
GOD has the answer.

If, suddenly, your outlook is brighter
and you find traces of hope,
GOD has whispered to you.

[CarlaJ]

These are some of my favorite Quotes:

Children are our most valuable natural resource.

*****

Your life is your parent's gift to you...
What you do with your life is your gift back to them.

*****

Remember, we all stumble, everyone of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.

*****

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.

*****

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

*****

God could not be everywhere,
and therefore he made mothers.

*****

Love is perfect, even when we are not.

*****

Love is everything it's cracked up to be...
It really is worth fighting for, being brave
for,risking everything for.

*****

For you see, each day I love you more --
today more than yesterday and less
than tomorrow.

*****

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.

*****

As you travel through life, leave your mark, not a stain.

[Liz Siebenaler]

I like this quote, it was used on a garden bench my friend received after her angel passed.

[MrsSpencer]

We have our memories
Heaven has our dreams


Words from a song...
(I lost my best-friend from childhood two months before we turned 21, I hid in the back of the church since we were called "twins" we were born the same day as our moms were friends and they put us in the same bassinet. I knew it'd be hard for his mom to see me so I prevented her from doing so. I heard this song and thought of him, and of my best-friend's little boy she lost two days after his birth, and of my own lost baby, and of the little boy I mention below.)

I wonder if guardian angels cry
When they see it all play out
And as they stand with their hands tied
Do they cry out loud?

It's not supposed to go like that
It's not intended to end this way
Life is a journey
Constantly turning down an unknown path
But it's not supposed to go like that


Another one
(I had a friend's little brother that passed at five, he was hit by a car the day before his first day of school, and this song makes me think of him.)


“Streets of Heaven”

(Sherrie Austin/Paul Duncan/Al Kasha)

Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304.
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.
This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life.
Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made,
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake?
She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough.
She wants to marry her Daddy when she's all grown up.

Well, it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
She's much too young to be on her own:
Barely just turned seven.
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?

Lord, don't you know she's my angel
You got plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Well I don't know if you're listenin'
But praying is all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too

And it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me: what do you need her for?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.
But right now I need her so much more.
Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,
There's no use in beggin'.
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven.

[MrsSpencer]

I was blessed the day I met you
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on
The good news is I'm better for the time we spent together
The bad news is you're gone.

[MarissaO'Dell]

thank you all for sharing these words

[Tara Schields]

Perhaps these were already posted, but just in case they weren't, here are two that I recently found.

"If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."


How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.
--Author Unknown

[Kirk Kief]

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Soul and body Thou wilt keep.
In my spirit dwell Thee deep,
As I lay me down to sleep.
-Phyllis Mutch

[Krista]

I'm not sure if this was already posted, but my best friend read this poem at Aedan's memorial service...

Angel Babies
Angel Baby, when you tiptoed into my life,
I knew it was only for awhile,
And just the thought of you, my darling, was enough to make me smile,
When angels came for you,
I could hardly bare for us to part,
But I knew they would keep you safe, forever loved, and within my heart!

~author unknown~

[Bree]

Here is the poem. The words he/she and him/her can be used interchangeably. I wrote this for my son before he was born because I couldn't find anything on the internet that I liked to describe my feelings toward him and his furture birth/passing.

Families are Forever

You came here for a moment,
Just a spec in time,
But as you see dear child,
Forever you'll be mine!

Families are Forever
and forever ours will be.
So, although our time was brief
I know you'll be waiting for me.

You were too perfect and special
to stay here very long.
Some people say, "How unfortunate."
But I say they are wrong!

Our family's very lucky.
A choice spirit came to us.
We gave him all he needed,
And all he knew was love.

Our time together here on earth
was moments it is true...
But nothing will take away that day
when forever we'll be with you!

-Bree Anderson

[Bree]

A few more quotes that I used in the scrapbook for Joshua Tay:

-You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. -Desmond Tutu

-Love is a moment that lasts forever... -Julie Wittey

-I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
My baby you'll be!
Robert Munsch

-A little piece of Heaven.

-A baby fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty

-Every child is a different kind of flower, and all together they make this world a beautiful garden.

[Jayme]

This is a song that I got from our Pre-school teacher that the kids will sing for their end of the year program.

I am unique
I'm like nobody else
God made my very special
I am myself
Blue eyes and brown eyes and some are green
Red hair and brown hair and blondes I've seen
But I've never met another me and so I say

God is great! God is good! God made all that I see
Like the stars and the earth and the flowers and bees
But most of all I'm thankful for
Making me!

[MrsSpencer]

I love that Jayme! It's so sweet.

[Karen Lynn]

:confused: (daughter/son) entered this world without a breath of fresh air or harsh cry; but s/he lived. And s/he will continue to live in our hearts forever.


;) "What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." -Helen Keller


:cool: "Where there are no memories, let the heart find the memories that would have been."

:( Poem:

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all...
It comes with bitterest agony...
Perfect relief is not possible, except with time.

You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better...
And yet this is a mistake.
You are sure to be happy again.

To know this, which is certainly true,
Will make you become less miserable now.
I have experienced enough to know what I say.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN


Enjoy, Karen

[Krista]

I loved sharing music with Aedan. One of my favorite things to do was put on my ipod, and hold an ear phone up to my belly so Aedan could listen with me. I loved feeling him wiggle and dance to the music.

This was one of the songs played at Aedan's memorial service...

"Awake"
Josh Groban

A beautiful and blinding morning
The world outside begins to breathe
See clouds arriving without warning
I need you here to shelter me

And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other

So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

And I know that only time will tell me how
We'll carry on without each other

So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me
All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see

We can't stay like this forever
But I have you here today

And I will remember
Oh I will remember
Remember all the love we shared today

[Jayme]

Krista,
That song is beautiful. I am so thankful for the moments that I got to spend with Justin inside me.

[Krista]

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to
new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints
on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."
~ Flavia Weedn

[Jonathansmommy]

My amazing friend and NILMDTS photographer Elle said to me:

"A life is not measured in time, or in deeds of importance,
but by how many people love you - and in that case,
Jonathan will have had a very full life -full of love"

one of the most powerful things anyone has every said to me and by far the most helpful since I learned of Jonathan's condition.

~Jaimey

[Lacey Canaday]

"If love could have loved you, you would have lived forever"

this is from the book i read Sophia called "Sleepy bears"
"Sleep , my sweetheart,sleep,my bear,
your craddle swings in the evening air.
Moonbeams touch your precious face,
And stars float by with gentel grace.
Sleep, my sweetheart, have no fear.
Sleep,my darling, i am hear."

[Valerie'sMomma]

There is a wonderful song by Savage Garden called "I knew I loved you before I met you"

Here is the main chorus:

"I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you"

Just a very beautiful song with very simple lyrics but i think it explains how we feel about all our angels.

Kevin Sharp's Nobody knows it but me

"A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still"

[momofanangel]

Here's what was on a card that someone in our church just gave me this morning....it means so much knowing that people haven't forgotten Gracelynn.


' When someone you love becomes a memory
The memory becomes a treasure.'



I really like it and I think I will frame it.

[MrsSpencer]

Wrote for my friend that lost her little boy at 22 weeks.

She holds the tiny life in her arms
Gently sings him to sleep
Won't be long now till he can rest in peace
She didn't want to decide
Didn't want to be the one
She's only sixteen, and now must bury her son

She says a prayer
As she lets go
Lord take care of him
Till I get home

Please take care of my baby
I've left him in your care
Please help guide him
While I'm not there
Tell him I did the best I could
That I had to let him go
That if I had a choice he'd be here
Safe within my arms
But I know he's safe within yours

I'll take care of your babies
You've left them in my care
I'll help guide them
Till you get here
I'll tell them you did the best you could
You had to let them go
I know if you had a choice they'd be there
Safe within your arms
But take comfort to know
They're safe within mine

[Claire Guthrie]

These are onces I have written that are special to me... I use #3 as part of my business logo, so I ask you keep it with NILMDTS use only. Thank you.

1."Your face shone like the sun.
It was like a fresh breeze
across a dry and parched land.
You were perfect in every way;
Too perfect to remain and stay."

2."You came into my HEART
the moment I knew you lay within me.
EVERY moment I was aware of your
PRESENCE.

Every movement within me was a
moment of JOY.
My heart aches for your scent;
for your touch; for your
PRESENCE.

Our time together was SACRED
& will never be forgotten."

3."To capture the spirit is to tell a story;
To tell a story is to create a memory;
The memories we share today, echo in eternity."

[MrsSpencer]

Not sure if this has been posted or not?

A visitor from heaven
If only for awhile
A gift of love to be returned
We think of you and smile
A visitor from heaven
Accompanied by grace
Reminding of a better love
And of a better place
With aching hearts and empty arms
We send you with a name
It hurts so much to let you go
But we're so glad you came
We're so glad you came
A visitor from heaven
If only for a day
We thank Him for the time He gave
And now it's time to say
We trust you to the Fathers love
And to His tender care
Held in the everlasting arms
And we're so glad you're there
We're so glad you're there
With breaking hearts and open hands
We send you with a name
It hurts so much to let you go
But we're so glad you came
We're so glad you came

[MrsSpencer]

"PRECIOUS CHILD"

Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good

In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then

In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

[MrsSpencer]

Safe in Angel's Wings

The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll by with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.

[Cheryl Haggard]

My heros come with wings, not capes.

[Shelly]

More perfect words tonight! Thanks for sharing, Cheryl.

[Krista]

With Aedan's death I wasn't wanting anything to do with Christmas, but the other day I found beautiful Christmas cards and I wanted to share them with you...

Believe
that miracles happen
and that they can change your life.
Believe that you have an angel by your side
to help you through,
and believe that anything is possible at Christmas

~Jennifer Lewis-Hall~

[momofanangel]

Here is a poem that I added Gracelynn's pictures to and sent with Christmas cards last year.


"My First Christmas in Heaven"
I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars
reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular.
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away
We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear,
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above,
of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift
more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or the love
He has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.....

[George]

Just FYI, Twalia Paris sings "Visitor from Heaven."

Wanda Bencke wrote "Christmas in Heaven" in honor of her 13 year old daughter, Lysandra, who had severe cerebral palsy. On Christmas day in 1997, Lysandra had a seizure, went into a coma, and died 5 days later.

More information about Christmas in Heaven is available at christmasinheaven.net. I have send an e-mail to Ms. Bencke asking if I could add her poem to my Helping Bereaved Parents Document.

[George]

Same Song, Different Verse
by David M. Bailey

See www.davidmbailey.com for complete song lyrics.

Sun came up again, just like I hoped it would
But still, I had a question that did my soul no good
So I poured a cup of coffee and I called out to the Lord
He showed up and said hello, though I thought He looked a little bored….


david is well-known as a 12 survivor of a malignant brain tumor that was supposed to have killed him in 6 months. His amazing story of hope and survival has been shared with and inspired thousands of fans all over the world. If you are reading this here on CD baby, you are also learning that david is a prolific songwriter and keeps a relentless tour schedule across the nation and the world in support of his multiple CD’s. The more you get to know his music, the more you will learn of the many sides of david: survivor, yes, but also poet, philosopher, theologian, comedian, activist, husband, father, friend, and lover of all things coffee. This Presbyterian, passionate, fully reformed, liberally conservative peace-loving hippie-folksinger will wow you exotic guitar licks, but also inspire you with words you only wish you’d written yourself. Take the time to browse, listen, buy a couple CD;’s, visit his website, www.davidmbailey.com, and odds are before long, he’ll be in your area and you’ll be a fan of the music and the man. Thanks for stopping by – Keep on!!...

[MrsSpencer]

Untitled
Written by Eileen Knight Hagemeister
to her son-in-law after his baby girl was born still

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave ~
He lost his baby too. . .

[MrsSpencer]

MY LETTER TO HEAVEN

I would like to send a letter to heaven
and address it to the one I love.
My child has left this world,
to be with the Lord above.

I would tell her that I love her,
and that I miss her loving touch.
I would say we’re lost without her
and we miss her - - oh so much.

I would ask if she could visit,
if we promised not to cry.
Maybe one more time to see her
We forgot to say "Good-bye."

We will try to control our emotions
we truly feel we could.
So please - - we need a visit.
We promise we'll be good.

It is so hard, we miss her.
Oh Lord, this feeling is the worst.
We know you gave her to us,
yes, we know you had her first.

But you called her prematurely,
I'm sorry I question your will.
I know you have your reasons
but Lord - - I miss her still.

If you'd only make an exception
please consider what we plea.
It is so hard accepting that our daughter
- - We will never see.

Oh baby I write you this letter
with all the love there is to be had.
Because it's just not me who's hurting
there's your brother and your dad.

We need so much to see you,
then we'll try to let you rest.
But if not in this world, baby,
then we'll see you in the next.

So I’m sending a letter to heaven,
and pray you hear my plea.
But if the answer is not what I’m asking --
Lord come and rescue me!
(Paula Osipovitch)

[MrsSpencer]

I Am Still a Mommy
by Dawn Machado

I am still a Mommy, I was a Mommy from the start.
What makes me a Mommy is that feeling in my heart.
Pregnant I was, there was a baby inside me.
For some Mommys all it takes is to know, they have planted that seed.
There is a bond that takes place from the moment that you know.
Inside of your body someone special has started to grow.
My baby didn't make it, he is in Heaven up above.
In my heart I'm still his Mommy, I am filled with endless love.
Something happens to a woman when her seedling starts to grow.
Unless you have felt these feelings it is impossible to know.
He meant the world to me and I will never be the same.
All I need is for you to listen when I wish to say his name.
He may be gone but he's not forgotten, I miss him each and every day.
Could you imagine that it would be any other way?
What kind of Mommy would I be if I forgot my son?
I had planned my whole life around him,
all the great things we would have done.
I may have another child, possibly another two.
There is something I know for certain, he will always be my first child,
my son, and I his Mommy too.

In Loving Memory of My Tiny Precious Angel..........
Aiden John Machado, Born Still 2/17/00
With Love, His Mommy Dawn Machado

[MrsSpencer]

My First Child
"Oswego Bill"
July 1999

I never got to tell you this
Or see your little face
Couldn't hold you in my arms
Or feel your small embrace

I'll never know just what I lost
The doctor couldnt tell
All I know the grief I felt
Was the closest I've been to ****

Since then you've gained a sister
Lifting this dark and angry curse
Although I love her more then life
You'll always be my first

[motherofthree]

Untitled
Written by Eileen Knight Hagemeister
to her son-in-law after his baby girl was born still

How true...I can't tell you how many times my heart ached for my husband when people would ask him, "How is Beth? How's she holding up"" and things like that, with no acknowledgment of how HE was doing. Great song - thank you. I may try to make him a little something with this on it or in it...

[MrsSpencer]

I saw it and it reminded me of so many of the women here talking about their husbands and thought it was perfect.

[Jamie]

Very interesting and thought provoking! Khalil Gibran, isn't he the great poet who wrote......'Our children are not ours to keep...'

Whatever did he mean by that? I wish I could have some insight into what he meant and why he wrote it.........but then at this point in my life I have found a bit of resentment for such words, though I know that there is more to them than what's on the surface....
Karla.

Wow - I know this is old, but I just came across this, and was surprised - I didn't know anyone could get 'mad' at Gibran! "The Prophet" is a life guide for me! It is taken out of context of course...it's from a story of how we are gods vessels for HIS children. They are here for fulfill their own destiny, not ours. It's long but it's beautiful....

"A woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts,
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow...
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

Kahlil Gibran book "The Prophet"

[Christine Barrack]

Does anyone or is anyone willing to translate some quotes into Spanish?

[mise]

I am fully convinced the soul is indestructible
That activity will continue through eternity
It is like the sun ,which to our eyes seems to set at night
But it has in reality only gone to diffuse its light elsewhere

[motherofthree]

Jamie,

I also love Kahlil Gibran, and refer to his works often. There is so much beauty and truth in his writing. I love "The Prophet". I also have a lengthy collection of his writings - both prose and not - and find so much beauty his mind...

[Darby]

I dont know if this has been posted before, but I just found this today and thought I would share.

Our Angel, Our Babies
Written by Erin and Quinn's Mommy....Lori on 9/18/98
Angel Whispers (http://www.angelfire.com/ny/AngelWhispers/)
Lori

You have been where I have been
We have walked a similar path.
The road has not been easy.
We have felt the sorrow of valleys so deep,
and the satisfaction of conquering the highest mountain.
We have stood broken and battered from our pain,
but we continue to go on and survive.
There will be new mommies and daddies who will join us,
they too will have to walk this journey called grief.
We will support and comfort them,
Laugh and cry with them.
They to will conquer the mountain and survive.
We have a bond that others who haven't felt this pain,
would or could understand.
We are Mommies and Daddies brought together by Angels.
Our Angels, Our Babies.
Babies who have taught us about love,
and have shown us our heart.
We will never be the same again,
who could be.
To experience the death of a child,
and not change.
That would mean we are unloving and unfeeling,
I know that we are more of both.

[Kamie]

That is so beautiful!

[AlejandraCarrera]

Michelle, I hoipe you don't mind but I decided to translate your last one. I like it a lot, it doesn't flow the same in spanish but it conveys pretty much the same feeling.

Un unicornio es una criatura mítica
Un corcel plateado hermoso
Un caballo del Mar aunque es muy verdadero
Pequeño y con huesos verdaderamente

Estos días, mi bebé parece también un mito
Una ilusión de hace mucho tiempo
Pero mi bebé que usted siempre será
Muy lejos, todavía en mi corazón, yo sé

I went to High School down in Venezuela, if anyone needs any more of Michelle awesome work translated let me know. Just remeber not everything can be translated.

I believe this is a more accurate translation for it, sorry Raymond don't take me wrong;) :
Un unicornio es una criatura mítica
Un hermoso corcel plateado
Sin embargo un caballo de mar es muy real
Pequeño y huesudito

En estos momentos, mi bebé parece también un mito
Una ilusión de hace mucho tiempo
Pero, siempre serás mi bebe,
Que aún estando lejos, yo sé que siempre estarás en mi corazón

My first language is Spanish, I am from Mexico City.:) I hope this helped.

[Vicki]

Alejandra,

We are always looking for Spanish translators for quotes for our slideshows and such . . . what a wonderful asset you are!!!!

[Stephanie Ashford]

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. ~Victor Hugo

[jordynhope]

A little something I wrote to hang in my memorial garden I'll be planting this spring:

Calmed by the waters
of a trickling stream
I remember your face
the most precious I've seen

And like the dance
of a flickering flame
I know you're in heaven
doing the same

And so I planted
this garden here
In loving memory
of you, Jordyn dear.

[motherofthree]

That's so sweet!

[bcangelrae]

I found this one on a sympathy that I actually bought for myself because it felt like it was talking to me.

Her Journey's Just Begun

Don't think of her as gone away-
her journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets-
this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how she must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of her as living
in the hearts of those she touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost-
and she was loved so much.

[Darby]

An Angel's Touch

Believe

A feather fell to earth today
and touched my
aching heart;
I felt an Angel clos eto me
With wisdom to impart:

When sadness seems
to overwhelm
And take away the light.
Remember that the
sun will rise
As morning follows night.

Believe that you
can overcome;
Belive that you can win;
Believe that you are in
His care
And let the sunshine in.

[Darby]

A card that I recieved after Shaunna's passing meant so much to me, heres what it says;

You're Not Alone

People who've lost someone special
know that the grieving begins
not when family and friends are gathered,
but later,
when everyone has gone back to thier own lives...

(Inside)
Please know,
especially then,
that you are not alone,
that those who care for you
truly wish to share
your thoughts and feelings
throught this difficult time.

[Susan K Shelbrock]

Once again an empty womb.
No baby to love.
No baby to hold.

Were you a boy?
Perhaps a girl?
Taken so soon I will never know.

Did you hear my screams when the doctor told me?
Did you hear my cries in the middle of the night?
Did you know that I wanted you more than anything in the world?

Coleman was looking forward to being your big brother.
He asked me why you didn’t have a heartbeat like the other baby.
I told him I didn’t know, but I told him we will have another baby soon.

He said, “I don’t want another baby. I want this baby!”
I told him, “I know, Baby. I know…”

Ryana...I just read your poem and it touched me so deeply. I cannot begin to express how beautiful and touching this is for me.

SusanKS

[LaylasMama27]

"Grief takes time.
You won't get over it in a month
or even a year.
In fact, you never get over it.
You blend it into your life,
And make it part of you."

"mourn not the cacoon, the butterfly has flown"

"perhaps they are not stars in the sky but openingswhere our loved ones shine down us and let us know they are happy."

"your life was a blessing
your memory a treasure
you are loved beyond words
missed beyond measure"

[Abigailsmommy]

Just once

Just once I wish I could have spent a late hour rocking you in my arms.
Just once I wish I could have gently lain you in your crib.
I wish I could have changed a diaper, chosen an outfit for the day,
given you a bath, soothed your skin with lotion...
Just once I wish I could have heard you cry out
in loneliness for me, spent time alone with you.
Just the two of us, strolled you proudly through the shopping mall.
Just once I wish I could have heard the words:
"What a beautiful, healthy baby girl!!"
Just Once.

~Author Unknown~


I LOVE YOU LADYBUG

[Benjamin's Mommy]

Welcome Home, Little Dove
(for baby Benjamin, from Mommy)

We hold you quietly, softly
we cradle you near
the warm breeze calls to you
you can no longer stay here

gently opening our hands
we let our little dove take flight
blissfully you fly to the heavens
carried out of our sight

as our longing eyes search the sky
we know you aren't gone
you only went back home, little dove
...our sweet little baby son.

Welcome home, sweet Benjamin

[Kevin Becker]

Wonderful idea, Kirk...

From the service program of one of my families:

"Some people only dream of Angels,
We held one in our arms."

[Abigailsmommy]

Whether we are filled with joy or grief, our angels are close to us, speaking to our hearts of God's love. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

[LaylasMama27]

"Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn" Nena O'Niel

"Things fall apart so that things can fall together" Dan Zadra

"let us always be open to the miracle of a second chance." Reverend David Stiers

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" Will Cather

"Love is what youve been through with somebody" James Thurber

"A heart can be broken, but it will beat just the same" Fannie Flagg

"You are not alone. We are all connected. You could no more seperate yourself from humanity than a wave could seperate itself from the ocean and still be a wave" Gerald Jampolsky

"Remeber we all stumble, everyone of us. Thats why it's a comfort to go hand in hand" Emily Kimbrough

"Go ahead and cry, I'll catch your tears" Jileen Russell

[MrsDisel]

"We will forever hold you in our hearts, While God holds you in His arms forever."

I embroidered this on the blanket I buried Isaac in, and I also used it on the cover of the Memorial cards at the funeral.

[Benjamin's Mommy]

"You Are a Rainbow"

You are a rainbow
Shedding light, joy and hope
...here only briefly, yet living on in memory.

A rainbow is a promise
Bringing hope for a better future
...reminding us to enjoy the moment before it is gone.

A promise is a kiss
From you to me
...the hope that carries through the darkness.

A kiss is love
That knows no boundaries
...the link between you and me that can never be broken.


(I wrote this after seeing the rainbow at night that Benjamin sent to me.)

[Benjamin's Mommy]

"Who are you?"

You were a baby in my arms,
but who are you now?
I can't see you,
or can I, somehow?

Who are you?
You are a rainbow at night
a rainbow at any time
a glint of light in the sky
a shooting star

Who are you?
You are a butterfly
a firefly
a dragonfly
a bumblebee

Who are you?
You are a ladybug
a songbird
a little deer
a dove

Who are you?
You are an unexpected showshower
a ray of sun through the coulds
a gentle breeze on my face
a warm spring day

Who are you?
You are whatever you
want me to see

and I want to see you


Who are you?
You are

you.

[George]

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.” David Harkins

[smileyone6969]

I'm just a little feller
who didnt quite make it there.
I went straight to be with Jesus
but I'm waiting for oyu here.

Dont you fret about me mommy
I'm of all God's lambs most blest.
I'd have love to stay there with you.
But the shepherd knows what's best

Many dwelling here where I live
waited years to enter in
Struggled though a world of sorrow
and their lives were married with sin

So sweet Mommy dont you sorrow
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus bosom
from my lovely mothers womb

thank you for the life you gave me
It was brief but dont complain
I have all of heaven's glory
suffered none of earthling's pain

Thank you for the name you gave me
I'd have love to brought it fame
but if I'd lingered in earth's shawdows
Might instead have bro't it shame

Daddy gave me something for you
It's our secret Mommy dear
pressed it tightly against my forehead
whispered in my tiney ear

I'll be waiting for you Mommy
You and Daddy, Bud and sis
I'll be with you then forever---
Then I'll give you Daddy's Kiss

J.C. Brumfield

[Hope Walls]

I wrote this for my first session, Baby R. You are welcome to use it.

a star sometimes comes just to wish upon
no sooner beheld than to be gone
too wondrous, too precious, too rare to seek
too brilliant, too burning, too quick to keep
sweeping the heavens with a graceful arc
they rob sad corners of all their dark
then quietly flicker off into the night
and leave in our hearts an eternal light

[momofanangel]

I swear I am not throwing myself a pity party.
I don’t like feeling this way, but I do.
I don’t know how to make it go away.
It is not something I like doing
But my soul is severely wounded
And it needs time to heal
There is no magic pill to make the sadness go away.
I can’t “move on” when I can’t even get off the floor.
I can’t just “put it in the past” when it is still my present.
I’m not asking you to understand..just have compassion.
I’m not asking you for advice…just listen.

[jeepn1976]

Didn't get to go through all the posts, so not sure if this one has been mentioned.

Some people only dream of Angels, but I got to hold one in my arms.

[George]

Believe by Trans-Siberian Orchestra: http://feature.atlrec.com/contests/tso/believe/

[Kellie]

~~"BEREAVED PEOPLE DO NOT TELL THEIR STORIES IN ORDER TO GET SYMPATHY OR TO INFORM THE LISTENERS; THEY REPEAT THE FACTS IN ORDER TO BELIEVE IT THEMSELVES"

Sorry but I can't recall where I found this. I hope you are still able to use it as I find it have so much meaning behind it. Especially in the early days.

[George]

http://www.spinner.com/2010/04/12/baby-songs/


Ooo, Baby Baby: Top Songs Inspired by Children

'Baby Baby,' Amy Grant

Most people hadn't heard of Grant when she released 'Next Time I Fall' with Peter Cetera in 1991, but she had been a star in the Christian music world since she was a teen. With one mainstream hit under her belt, she decided to attempt a full-on crossover five years later. Her album 'Heart in Motion' was less about spirituality and more about everyday life, cheesing off some of her faith-based faithful. Still, 'Baby Baby,' written about her newborn daughter, was a huge hit.
Watch the 'Baby Baby' Video


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'Stay Up Late,' Talking Heads

In the '70s and '80s, Talking Heads were experimental, avant-garde and, well ... just kinda weird. You wouldn't have expected these art-school rockers -- famous for frontman David Byrne's big suit and 'Psycho Killer' -- to record a baby song. Of course, being a Talking Heads baby song, it represents the infant as a sleep-deprived tiny alien creature to observe curiously. 'Stay Up Late,' from 1985, recently appeared in the movie 'Baby Mama.'
Watch the 'Stay Up Late' Video


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'Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy),' John Lennon

Feeling guilty about neglecting his first son, the ex-Beatle deliberately took time off to be with his second. An older, more mature Lennon wrote this sentimental 1980 tune, which starts out with comforting words to a sleeping Sean. Given that Lennon was murdered less than a month after the song's release, the line "I can hardly wait to see you come of age" is especially heartbreaking.
Watch the 'Beautiful Boy' Video




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'My Baby,' Britney Spears

The end of the past decade was a difficult time for the pop queen, who lost her beloved aunt, her hair and -- some have said -- her marbles. Then, in a crushing blow, she also lost custody of her two young sons. Just when it appeared she had gone off the deep end for good, Spears lost weight, obtained visitation rights and made an impressive musical comeback. In this song from 2008, she credited her children with helping her turn her life around.
Watch the 'My Baby' Video



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'Prayer for You,' Usher

When Usher was a grown man, his father apologized for being a sub-par dad, then asked his son for forgiveness. That conversation inspired this song, in which Usher sings to his infant son Usher Raymond V, "I'll do my best to be there for you every day/To be what my father wished he was to me." Sadly, Usher Raymond III, who struggled with drug and alcohol addictions, died a few months before the song's 2008 release.
Watch the 'Prayer for You' Video



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'Kooks,' David Bowie

Bowie was inspired to write this silly 1971 song after the birth of his son, who bore the silly name Zowie Bowie. The song offers Zowie guidance from David and then-wife Angela: "A couple of kooks/Hung up on romancing," adding, "If you stay with us/You're gonna be pretty kooky, too." Zowie, who as an adult goes by the more sensible name Duncan Jones, has retained just enough kookiness to make it as a successful film director.
Watch the 'Kooks' Video


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'Father and Daughter,' Paul Simon

The man who gave us 'Mother and Child Reunion' wrote this gentle song for the 2002 animated feature 'The Wild Thornberrys Movie' and later included it on his album 'Surprise.' Simon, who has three children with Edie Brickell, sings, "There could never be a father who loved his daughter more than I love you." Sure, it's a bit treacly, but the subdued melody makes it more sincere than purely sappy.
Watch 'Father and Daughter' Live




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'Original of the Species,' U2

Bono was thinking about the Edge's daughter Hollie back when she was a newborn when he was writing this 2004 song, which reportedly made the Edge cry. Driven musically by the U2 guitarist's piano playing, this dreamy number is a "be who you are" song, Bono has said, that reminds all people they are one of a kind. Obviously, Hollie is not a twin.
Watch the 'Original of the Species' Video





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'Gracie,' Ben Folds

After writing 'Still Fighting It' for his son Louie, Folds felt it only fair to write a song for his daughter, lest he invite accusations of favoritism. While his hit song 'Brick' was about how not to make babies, this one from 2005 is more hopeful: "One day you're gonna want to go/I hope we taught you everything you need to know." The video featured photos of dads with their daughters, inspiring viewers to offer a collective awwww.
Watch 'Gracie' Live



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'Flowers for Zoë,' Lenny Kravitz

In this 1991 lullaby for his daughter, Kravitz created a utopian scene full of flowers, rainbows, oceans and angels. Originally released as a B side to 'I Built This Garden For Us' in 1989, it eventually became a hit on its own. Today, Zoë Kravitz is an actress and singer, who -- with genes from model-pretty parents Kravitz and Lisa Bonet -- couldn't help but be gorgeous.
Watch the 'Flowers for Zoë' Video




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'Sail to the Moon,' Radiohead

At one time, frontman Thom Yorke told MTV he couldn't stand fathers who yakked on and on about their kids. Then something strange happened: He had a kid. Radiohead's 'Hail to the Thief' album from 2003 was largely inspired by children's stories, he said, including this not-annoying lullaby, written for son Noah.
Watch 'Sail to the Moon' Live





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'Precious,' Annie Lennox

In 1988, Lennox's first child, a boy whom she named Daniel, was stillborn. Suddenly aware of how fragile the human condition is, Lennox said she could relate to others experiencing hardships across the world. To honor her son's memory, she began supporting several charities, like Amnesty International and Greenpeace. When she gave birth to a healthy girl called Lola two years after Daniel, she was inspired to write this 1992 song.
Watch the 'Precious' Video



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'Time in a Bottle,' Jim Croce

"There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do": Those words rang tragically true when Croce was killed in a plane crash three months before this song's release in 1973. The singer had decided to take a break from touring to spend more time with his wife and infant son, AJ, who inspired this track. First, though, he would fulfill his obligations to previously booked venues. After a gig in Natchitoches, La., his plane clipped a tree and crashed, killing everyone on board.
Watch the 'Time in a Bottle' Video



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'Dancing Boy,' Harry Chapin

Four years prior to this 1978 song, Chapin had a US No. 1single with 'Cat's in the Cradle,' about a father who neglects his son. Later, he would write this number, introduced onstage as "a short story about the 'Cat's in the Cradle' kid, my son." Josh Chapin once said he used to dance while his father played music in the studio, inspiring this song.
Watch 'Dancing Boy' Live





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'Dear Jessie,' Madonna

In 1989, at the height of her success -- and in a move toward more serious subject matter -- Madonna released this song, which was a hit in the UK but never released in the States. A pop lullaby written for collaborator Patrick Leonard's daughter, the song's lyrics featured rainbows, pink elephants, mermaids and turtle doves. In the video, Madonna appeared as a Tinkerbell-like animated fairy.
Watch the 'Dear Jessie' Video




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'Lullaby for Wyatt,' Sheryl Crow

When she adopted a two-week-old boy in 2007, Crow had just survived a rough patch that included a bout with breast cancer and a separation from Lance Armstrong. On the otherwise politically charged 2008 album 'Detours,' she addressed Wyatt in this soft ballad, proclaiming, "The world could fall apart/But you're my heart."
Watch the 'Lullaby for Wyatt' Video





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'Sarah,' Thin Lizzy

Phil Lynott, lead singer of Thin Lizzy, wrote this soft rocker after the birth of his first daughter, singing, "When you came into my life, you changed my world." Unfortunately, Lynott didn't change his world, which included addictions to heroin, cocaine and alcohol. Seven years later, his habits would catch up to him. He died at age 35.
Watch the 'Sarah' Video





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'Here for You,' Neil Young

Okay, this isn't exactly a song about a baby. But as Young learned, they sure grow up fast. His daughter was 21, in her last year of college, when he penned this one. The theme: I'll always be there for you, but I won't hold you back. Young had reason to be sentimental. Shortly before writing this, he'd suffered a near-fatal brain aneurysm, and his own father had died.





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'Father and Son,' Cat Stevens

In this song, the father doesn't want his son to leave the nest, but the son badly wants to make it on his own. Singing from the two perspectives in alternating verses, Stevens portrays hope on the father's part and frustration on the son's. If only the dad had heard Neil Young's 'Here for You.'
Watch 'Father and Son' Live

[jessicasnell08]

Here is a poem I came across. Not sure who wrote it but I though I should share it.
Ask My Mom How She Is

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"
-unknown

[mommymissingu]

i love that poem!
here is a line i say about my son:
HE HAD TWO HANDS AND HE HAD TWO FEET, BUT HE GREW WINGS AND WAS BORN ASLEEP. <3

[shelandmegsmom]

I love all these poems. Thank you so much for sharing.

[KEsmail]

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.