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rileysmom
10-12-2008, 03:22 AM
Hello---

This is my first entry on the forum. My story is a little long--so I'm sorry, but I just need to tell my story, to write it down for the first time.

My husband and I have been married over 11 years. We purposely waited to start a family. Finally in 2008 my husband was ready, we were lucky and got pregnant right away. At first I was scared because I'm no longer in my 20's and the medical world makes you feel like a senior citizen if your having a baby when your in your 30's. So needless to say I had the tests--the neuchal translucency test, 6 ultrasounds, all the blood work. We only had 1 scare at 6 weeks, but other then an increase in migraines, the pregnancy was fine. We found out we were having a boy, at first I was nervous, but I got used to the idea, all I cared about was that he would be healthy. I love to decorate so everything had to be "perfect" as this was going to be my one and only pregnancy, I knew I didn't need more then one, this was going to be all I needed--this little boy. My due date was 9-28-08. In August I started to swell a little more in my feet up into my ankles and a little into the legs. My doctor was very attentive and wasn't concerned unless I was having increased heart rate, high blood pressure or swelling in my hands. So we watched closely and at the end of August she reduced my hours at work, I was going in 2 x's a week just because I was having some high blood pressue and she was worried I might become preclamptic. She said she "knew something would happen, just didn't know when or what". Never did I think it could hurt the baby. He was always so strong, his heart rate was always between 144-150. She just kept saying me, never him, he was always so active moving around, all the ultrasounds showed he was the right size and everything was developed. The doctor said if I went into labor early he would be fine.

Then on 9-2 we decided to do the 24 urine test and then I ended up getting sick the next day, my husband is a nurse so we checked my blood pressure it was up, so we called the doctors office, they told us to go to labor and delivery, after we got ready to go, we checked my bp one more time, it was low, so we didn't know if we still needed to go, so we called the doctor again. They called back a few hours later and said if I was feeling ok I didn't need to go and to come in that afternoon to her office. So we went in on 9-4 to her office everything was fine the babies heartbeat was 155 at 4:45. She didn't have my results from the urine test so she said she would call me or I just needed to come back the next morning to her office. We left, I remember the baby move that afternoon, little did I know that would be my last time I saw him move. The next morning, my doctor called and said some things were concerning and I needed to go to Labor and Delivery. My husband and I went, once the Charge Nurse admitted me she went to find the heartbeat, nothing, then another nurse came in, nothing, then I heard a low heartbeat--I thought "everything is ok". Then they got another machine, nothing. They decided to get an ultrasound, they said sometimes the baby lays really low and so they wanted to see him, when they left the room, I started to get scared and I looked at my husband I started to cry, I was scared, he then told me the heartbeat I heard was probably mine, not the baby. The nurses and the tech came back and all of a sudden I had 6 nurses around me, I couldn't look at the screen. My husband looked and just started to cry, I kept asking him what was going on with my baby, he couldn't answer and then a nurse said "I'm so sorry", I kept saying "not at 37 weeks, this doesn't happen at 37 weeks". I just started calling for my mom, this wasn't supposed to happen, I was supposed to be induced, my baby was strong, you don't lose babies at 37 weeks.

The nurses moved me to another room and my doctor came and explained they didn't know what happened but when I was ready they would induce me. They started that afternoon and my son was born 9-6-08 at 10:54 am. My little miracle, Riley, he was beautiful, tons of hair, 10 fingers, 10 toes, little nose he was 6 lbs and 19.5 inches, he just looked like he was asleep. My doctor ran every test known to man over the next few days and nothing came back positive on me, I never became or was diagnosed as being preclamptic. At this time they think Riley may have died due to Strep D which I can barely find anything on. After being released from the hospital we arranged a funeral and he was laid to rest on September 11th. At this time we will be seeing a Perinatologist on 11-3 to get his professional opinion.

The entire staff and my doctor were amazing, we had 36 hours with our son, they had the NILMDTS photographer come, made a molding of his handling, gave us some of his hair, took hand and foot prints, photos and many other things. They treated both my husband, our family and our little boy with so much respect. It's just so hard thou, with so many people being so kind, isn't that the kind of family a baby should go to? Why did we lose our boy? I did everything I could to make sure I was eating right, taking vitamins, getting sleep. How could I lose my baby at 37 weeks into my pregnancy with no forewarning? It's so hard to see other pregnant women or babies now. I'm afraid to run into someone from our birthing class. I know without a shadow of a doubt, I am meant to be a mom and eventhough I was blessed with Riley, I miss holding a baby. I mourn the fact that his nursery will never have him sleep in it,that I will never know the color of his eyes, hear him cry out for me or call me mom, that all my dreams I had for him will never come true. This pain is so unbearable, I just want my little boy.

Jennifer

MrsSpencer
10-12-2008, 04:05 AM
I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy. I too don't understand why these things happen, it's not for the best, it just sucks. I can't say I know how you feel, I don't..but I'll keep your family in my prayers.

KEA's Mom
10-12-2008, 09:06 AM
Jennifer,
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boys. We're here for you.

Sandy Viola
10-12-2008, 09:25 AM
I am very sorry for your loss. I love the name Riley I am sure he was very cute! Maybe you could share some pictures when you are ready, even of that perfectly put together nursery:) Just a question though...are you sure they didn't mean to tell you Strep B? Strep "B" is the more common cause of prenatal and perinatal deaths. I have never even heard about strep D. I am a labor nurse and we don't test for that, only the strep B. The formal name it beta strep group B and if you or your baby had it it needs to be treated. My prayers are with you.

Christine Barrack
10-12-2008, 09:55 AM
Dear Jennifer,
I am deeply sorry. Thank you for sharing your story and your love for Riley. Reading your story brings tears to my heart. It is much like mine and I know that pain all to well. We are here for you. We are here for your husband.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings,
Christine

Tammy
10-12-2008, 10:40 AM
Thank you Jennifer, for giving us the priviledge to know your beautiful son Riley. As others have said, we are (and will be) here for you and your family when you need us. Sending you hugs~
Tammy

Krista
10-12-2008, 01:17 PM
Jennifer,

You're a mom, to a beautiful little angel, Riley. I wish I could take away your pain. No on should ever have to say goodbye to their precious little babies. My heart goes out to you. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and remember we are here for you and your husband anytime you need to talk.

Thank you for sharing Riley with us and when you are ready we would love to see his pictures.

(((HUGS)))

Marcus Momma
10-12-2008, 01:50 PM
I am so sorry for your loss and glad you found us here.

JenniferBrown
10-12-2008, 01:56 PM
Oh Jennifer,

I'm so sorry. Words can't express how sad I am for you. I'm so happy that you were blessed to have him for 36 hours. I would love to see the images that your photographer took for you. :) I bet they are beautiful.
I hope and pray you get answers someday. Until then, we are here for you.

marylouise
10-12-2008, 04:52 PM
Jennifer, my heart breaks for you and your family. Sending you prayers and hugs.

tstracener
10-12-2008, 05:05 PM
I am so sorry you lost your little boy.

Praying for you,
Tracy

Owen-n-Andrew's_Mom
10-12-2008, 05:21 PM
Jennifer,

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your husband.

rileysmom
10-12-2008, 05:25 PM
I had the test for Strep B the week before and it was negative, it is Strep D, it is really rare. I have a lot of questions for the Perinatologist on the 3rd. They indicate it was in his blood. They also found that their was bacteria on both sides of the placenta, but he was the right size for his gestation so they don't believe the placenta size was the issue. I was sick a few times the last week and a half, waking up nauseated and chills, they think my body was reacting to whatever he was fighting, but didn't go into labor because he was the one infected, not me.

motherofthree
10-12-2008, 07:50 PM
Jennifer, I am so very sorry that your Riley is not in your arms. I'm so sorry he left so soon. And I'm so sorry that any words we can say are inadequate to ease your pain.

I'm glad that you spent time with Riley after he passed and worked to make what memories you could. I would love to see his pictures and hear more about him.

You will have very tough times ahead - I still have a tough time. But this forum is a safe place for you, your feelings, your emotions, and your grief. We know what you are going through, and are here for you when you need to talk, vent, complain, or just remember Riley.

Beverly
10-12-2008, 08:39 PM
You are a mother and you will always be a mother. Once you feel life, you feel death. No one can answer all the "why's" we have. All we can do is tell you we understand.

Valerie'sMomma
10-13-2008, 01:00 AM
Jennifer,
I am so sorry about your loss. Riley is a lovely name. Please share his pictures when you are ready. But Please Don't think for one minute you are not a mommy- You are!! You are Riley's mommy. Just because Riley is not in your arms, you are his mommy. Please take care.

katelyn
10-24-2008, 03:57 PM
Jennifer,
My story is very similar to yours, and it's the worst thing in the world. Like your story, Katelyn did not have a heartbeat when we went to be induced either. We are moms though. Don't ever forget that! You sound so much like me! My husband and I had Katelyn's nursery absolutely perfectly decorated too. We had everything you could possibly need for a baby!! This is so unfair, but we just have to believe that we will be mom's to earthly angels someday. I am in my 30's too, but I was not monitored as intensely as you were. And everything seemed to be perfect with Katelyn too, like Riley. Just know that we are here for you, and you can always talk to us. I will keep you in my prayers.

Matthew's mom
11-11-2008, 11:48 AM
Oh, my heart is so heavy for you.

nat in ill
11-11-2008, 11:52 AM
i'm so sorry for your loss. i ask "why" myself. many hugs and prayers to your family.