Another "how do you answer"

[A&JPearce]

Okay, so I am at the gym swimming and talking to some of the ladies who are retired and are at the pool daily. I was asked a question about why I was there during the day. I wanted to just say I work nights or something like that. Instead I said I was on maternity leave. Then I get the "ohhh, congratulations! Boy or girl, are they here in daycare?" :eek: So then I went into the whole story.

How should I answer these types of quesitons to total strangers. I hate to lie, but MY GOD!! Of course they are all older ladies who want to hear every detail! Anyway~ anyone else have advise??

[Cheryl Haggard]

Allison,

This is really up to you. I found that it really helped me to talk about Maddux after he died. Most people want to tiptoe around this subject. I really feel that the more you are able to talk about Vincent, the faster your heart will be able to heal. There were times when people asked me about Maddux, and I really had to go case by case. Who was this person, and did I really feel like going into detail. Today, when people ask me how many children I have, I still always say 4. It is then, if the conversation continues, how I go into detail...

Just an idea, but I had a bracelet made of Maddux. From My Life Designs. It is waterproof, by the way. 5 charms-you can put images on the front or front and back. That way when someone asks you about Vincent, you can stick out your arm and say, "This is my little angel..." Trust me, very healing, to be able to show your baby off...

http://www.mylifedesigns.com/

Here is their link-they will donate back to NILMDTS if you mention it...
I hope this helps...
Many blessings,
Cheryl

[A&JPearce]

Very neat, thanks!

[Michelle D-S]

Hi Allison,

I don’t know if this is a good suggestion or not… But when a co-worker of mine returned to work, she used the phrase bereavement maternity leave…


It makes some people uncomfortable, like Cheryl said, some people will tip toe around you after a statement like that. But - you can then choose - depending on the context, situation etc– how much you want to get into at that point…

I don’t know if this is helpful or not.

Be well,

Michelle

[Cheryl Haggard]

Wonderful Idea Michelle. Bereavement Maternity Leave - How much more explaining do you have to do? If someone continues to ask questions, it will be out of care and concern. Most of the time, someone that has also experienced a loss and has a need for a shoulder...
I just love the ideas and support that comes from others.
Thank you for sharing...
Cheryl