How Long To Wait

[Austin's Momma]

I had an emergency c-section to bring my little Austin into the world. I've been told to wait at least three months before trying to having another baby. At times I think I want to wait longer...I don't want to miss my Austin too much and not be able to focus on a new baby. Then again, my arms are empty...It seems like there are babies everywhere-reminding me of what I'm missing. I want to have another child, but I'm not sure how long I should wait.

How long did you guys wait before trying to concieve again?

Did anyone have a c-section with their previous baby?

[JenniferBrown]

I can't answer the question of how long due to a c-section but I understand that want to have another baby due to your arms being empty. After my first loss, I got ANGRY with my dr for asking me what kind of birth control I wanted to use. I wasn't considering how much time my body needed to heal.... I wanted my arms full.
Each person is different, each person will know when it's time to try again. You do need to have your time of grief but then again there's always a 'whoops' baby, too! LOL
I always heard that a woman needs 1 year for her uterus to completely heal after having a baby. I don't know if our hearts can wait that long but that is what I was told waaaay back in the day when I lost my first baby.

[Austin's Momma]

Thanks for understanding! I'm not sure what the future holds for me--but I do hope there is another baby somewhere in the plans.


I can't answer the question of how long due to a c-section but I understand that want to have another baby due to your arms being empty. After my first loss, I got ANGRY with my dr for asking me what kind of birth control I wanted to use. I wasn't considering how much time my body needed to heal.... I wanted my arms full.
Each person is different, each person will know when it's time to try again. You do need to have your time of grief but then again there's always a 'whoops' baby, too! LOL
I always heard that a woman needs 1 year for her uterus to completely heal after having a baby. I don't know if our hearts can wait that long but that is what I was told waaaay back in the day when I lost my first baby.

[MadiAidMak]

YOu need to do what feels right for you.I too was upset when my doctor asked what I wanted for birth control.I wasnt thinking about that ,I wanted to have my arms full. I found out I was pregnant the day after my twins would have been 6 months old. Being pregnant again does help to heal my heart,but doesnt replace my babies. I also did not consider that my body,not just my heart needed to heal,but then again Gods plans dont always match ours. YOu will know when it is best

[Jayme]

I did not have a c-section so I can't say how long that takes to heal. I too wanted to try again right away although my husband in his wisdom, wanted to wait until he was sure another pregnancy wouldn't hurt me. It turned out that by the time we were finished with the autopsy and the genetic tests that they wanted to run to find out if we were likely to have the same thing happen, it had been 3 months. God blessed us in our first cycle of trying and our second child is due on Justin's birthday. The first trimester was harder for me physically that when I was pregnant with Justin but now it is much better. You will know when your heart and body are ready to try again. Make sure that your husband is involved in when to try again because you will need his support more than ever.
I read your profile and was amazed how much we have in common. I lost my firstborn son this April at the age of 25. I am also a teacher and have been teaching elementary music for the last 3 years.
I hope that one day, when the time is right, you get to hold another child in your arms!
Blessings,
Jayme

[tstracener]

I had a c-section with my Samuel on September 23. I had my appointment with the doctor and decided on birth control. It was so hard for me, like you said having empty arms. I know it's necessary because my body needs time to heal. I just don't know if I can wait a year. My husband wants to wait the full year, it just seems like a long time. I heard that grief counselors advise you to wait a year for the grieving process, but everyone's different. It seems that we have alot of 25 year old teachers, me too :).

[Brooke]

I was pregnant again 3 short months after delievering my Emma. I delievered her at only 24 weeks, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference or not. My doctor did ask me about birth control options but also asked me when we thought that we may want to try again. He gave me a perscription for a extra dose of Folic Acid so we were ready when we wanted to actively start trying. Well, we weren't really actively trying yet when we conceived Caden, but I guess we weren't preventing it well either because 9 months later there he was and arrived just 2 weeks before Emma's 1st birthday.

So I'm sure it is different with everyone and esepcially since you had a emergency C-section, I personally would wait the 3 months to let yourself heal physically. You know your body more than anyone, I believe you'll know when the time is right or God will know. I know the empty arms pain is sometimes unbearable, so please hang in there. Keep coming here for support. I hope in the future you will have full arms when the time is right for you and your husband. Good luck to you.

Love,

Brooke

[Candice]

I think I definatley set the record. I got pregnat a month and a half after we lost our daughter Alexis. Yes you read that right Lexi would be six months old on Wednesday and tomorrow I will be 21 weeks pregnant. My advice would be to please wait! My husband and I were not activley trying but we were also using no method of prevention. We were not ready(although at the time my husband thought we were) We are both having a very hard time with this pregnancy. We sis not have proper grief time before we created this new baby. Now our greif for our first daughter is preventing us from bonding with this one. So I guess the answer is you just have to wait until your heart is ready.

[Marcus Momma]

i had an emerrgency c section with marcus and I asked my doc how long I should wait he told me for my mental stability wait at least 6 months to give myself plenty of time to heal and I did exactly 6 months later I got prego with the baby I am carrying now and it was still hard that long after we lost Marcus but I am glad I waited that long because I don't think I could have handle all the worries too soon. Sometimes I wish I would have waited a lil longer because even now at 26 weeks prego its still very hard worrying all the time. But your body won't let u get prego if its not ready is what my doc said its just better to wait for sanity reasons. This will be my 4th c section. I had the empty arms pain for so long and wanted a baby so bad but I waited so that I wouldn't go into this pregnancy too soon and not let myself have plenty of time to grieve.

[courtneylambert]

It is recommended to wait a year to prevent the rupture of the uterus, however every body is different. Just ask your physician....

[efswsjuly17]

I have not had any c-sections with my pregnancies so I couldn't tell you either on recovery time. And again, everyone heals differently. I lost my little Emma in July. I have the feeling everyday of empty hands. Physically I feel ready for another baby, I am not sure how mentally ready I am though. The Dr. asked about birth control and I said OK, took it one month, and stopped taking it. I felt that if I was to conceive, I wanted my body to be the healthiest it can be. Although my husband is very scared about me conceiving again (he doesn't want me to go through this pain of losing another baby again), we are not taking steps to stop me from getting pregnant. I feel that if it happens, it will happen, and I pray every night for the strength and courage to get through anything He puts in front of me.

Brandy

Mommy to 3 Earthly angels and my Heavenly angel

[macsquad33]

I had a c-section on October 8. I feel as though I am healing really well. I still know it happened, especially after I have been really active but for the most part, ok. I was prescribed BC too, in the hospital, but did not get the prescription filled. I didn't want the horomones to be in my system when we did decide to start trying again. I have not had my 6 week check yet - Nov. 20th - so I am anxious to see what my OB recommends. Our particular situation was not a genetic problem, just a "fluke", so I am hoping that the testing will be at a minimum. I cannot wait a year I don't think....I will always grieve the loss of Murray so I don't think I could EVER put a time table on it. Who knows, it is still really raw for my husband and I - but I yearn for that baby in my arms....I will let you know after my 6 week check and see what they say!

[Lacey Canaday]

I delverd Sophia by routine c-section. It was my second c section , but my doctor told me to wait at least a year becuase i my uterus was a little thin. It depends on what your doctor thinks. My doctor did tell me that i could start trying three months after,but i would have to be monitored. She also mentioned that I would be ready physicaly before mentally.

[Marcus Momma]

mentally its very very hard. I thought I was ready gave myself time but as soon as those 2 lines showed up I have been stressed out and worried ever since.

[linda]

We started to try to get pregnant again at almost a year but then it didn't happen for many months. You both should follow your heart! You'll know when your ready, if your husbands not ready give him some time too! For my husband he didn't start to grieve the loss of our son until after I started to show signs of life again...does that makes sense? So he may need a little more time. I wish you all the best - hang in there, thinking of you and praying for you!

[nat in ill]

i had an emergency c-section.

my doctors told me that physically at 6 month my body would be ready. the scar needs to heal and become stronger.

2 of four doctors said wait 1 year, because of the emotional concerns.
1 said wait a year, but due to my age (34) i may want to weigh the risks of age. i'd be 35 before we could try.
1 doctor said 12-18 months due to emotional concerns.

physically, 6 months is probably pretty good. but waiting a year and getting through all the major holidays and seasons and experiencing the grief at those times, is part of the healing process.

[motherofthree]

I have had 2 c-secions now. My oldest Priya is three. We will celebrate Kavya's birthday on December 26th. I am due one year and two months afte Kavya was born. I saw my fertility doc a few months after Kavya's birth/death, and got pregnant on our first cycle/attempt. It happened much more quikly than I expected, so for some reason it was a shock. Boy, there were a lot of happy and sad tears that day when we found out!

I think that you will know when you are ready. You will never stop missing Austin, and I can tell you that loving Austin and mourning him and also being excited about a new baby is entirely possible. You cannot dishonor him by loving another baby...I try to look at it as an opportunity to show Kavya how much I would have loved her!

Having another baby after losing Kavya can at times be emotionally exhausting - confusing, terrifying, sad, and at the same time completely joyous. I also experienced problems bonding with this baby for the first several weeks of the pregnancy - when it wasn't quite real to me yet.

As for the amount of time to wait for physical recovery - my first doctor (from Priya) told me to wai 1 year before getting pregnant. My current doctor was surprised at this and told me that there is no reason to wait more than few months - that my emotional readiness was more of a consideration.

Good luck with your decision! If you have any other questions, let me know...I'd be happy to talk through things with you.

Beth

[Bronwyn]

I had Samuel at full term via emergency c-section. My doctor said that I would be physically healed in 6 weeks. I am now almost 32 weeks along with Samuel's little brother, Ryder, and I am due the day after Samuel died one year later.

I would suggest clarifying with you OB if his/her advice to wait one year is one of physical concern or emotional. If it is physical, ask why so that you can make an educated decision. If it is emotional, then it is purely you and your husband's decision.

As I am currently in the 3rd trimester I can say that back to back pregnancies is very rough on the body physically. All of the physical "symptoms" of pregnancy are magnified and will likely show up sooner.

Also, it is very "interesting" to mourn and grieve and be excited and scared witless and hormonal all at the same time. You really need a solid group of friends and family to support you, because you will be melting down regularly. This is not to discourage you, only letting you know, at least for me, how it has been. It is a marathon in every sense of the word.

Good luck and be well. And like Beth, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have too!

Bronwyn

[nat in ill]

so i had my 6 week appointment and asked my docotor specifically why he says wait 18 months. he said that the risk of a uterine rupture at the scar decreases dramatically after 18 months.

however, after suffering a 3rd trimester lost and having had a placental abruption, I'd be considered high risk, so I'd be followed very closely.

I think it has more to do with how you feel and whether you are ready. Sometimes you have to weigh the risks of age or something else and that would outweigh any risks of a pregnancy within a year of a csection.

anyway you go, monitoring is key.

[jmac]

My OB told me to wait 6 months. He said the uterus needs time to heal, but waiting longer than 6 months could make someone even more depressed.

[motherofthree]

As I am currently in the 3rd trimester I can say that back to back pregnancies is very rough on the body physically. All of the physical "symptoms" of pregnancy are magnified and will likely show up sooner.

Also, it is very "interesting" to mourn and grieve and be excited and scared witless and hormonal all at the same time. You really need a solid group of friends and family to support you, because you will be melting down regularly. This is not to discourage you, only letting you know, at least for me, how it has been. It is a marathon in every sense of the word.


I agree completely, though I don't know if I would use the word "interesting". But then, I can't really think of a single word that describes it...

[Claire Guthrie]

I would definatley encourage you to take some good herbs, like Red Raspberry Leaf Tea to tone your uterus up! It will help prepare a good "nest" for its next "resident." :)

[Madge]

I have had seven natural deliveries and two c-sections. I was told by my doctor that I could conceive at any time. (This was after my follow-up appt.) I was pretty surprised.
The best thing to do (which you already know) is to talk to your doctor.
Being ready physically is one thing; being ready emotionally is another. It will be so different with each person.

[Jessica VV]

We were told by my OB to wait 6 months and 3 months by my family doctor. My husband and I decided whatever happened--happened. Years ago people had children less than 12 months apart and they are fine.

This is just my personal thoughts and feelings--

We got pregnant very close to Mark's 1st heavenly birthday. I think it was Mark's Birthday gift to us-a little brother or sister. Reflecting on everything right now, I am very glad that I had the year to reflect on everything and experience all the 'firsts' while not being pregnant. I truly believe physically my body was ready sooner, but emotionally I wasn't there. I am glad that we experienced the 'firsts' the way we did.

Just my thoughts-