Homebirth after stillbirth

[Melissa Hubbard]

My little guy Simon was supposed to be a homebirth. We had a birthing pool and everything. It was returned a long time ago since he was stillborn at 22 weeks last May.

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced a homebirth after stillbirth? I am not pregnant but I plan to hopefully have many more children in the future. My goal is to have a water / homebirth with a midwife. Lately I have been having dreams of being pregnant, and the entire dream all I do is sit still and wait to feel my baby move and when she doesnt (always a girl) I poke at my tummy to see if she will move, she always does... I also always have a doppler type machine that I am constantly holding to my belly to listen for a heartbeat...

So these dreams, and my goal to have all my future births at home, have been weighing down on me. I dont think that birth should be a medical thing unless it comes down to it.

I would love to hear everyone elses input. Thanks so much...

[Starmama]

Its only been a little over a week since we lost Fiona, but I find myself thinking of how I'll want to proceed in a future pregnancy. Both of my children (Orion is 5) were planned homebirths (and neither of them ended up being born at home).

No good advice, but its something I'm thinking about a little too.

[Christine Barrack]

Melissa,
I never had a homebirth due to being high risk.
I would talk to both a midwife and a doctor to get their professional opinions. Have a back up plan and do what you think is best. I am sorry that is the best advise I can give.
My cousin had planned a homebirth but had a mc at about 12 weeks at home. A few months later she became pregnant again. A homebirth with midwife was planned. She ended up going to the hospital and baby came just three weeks early (last Tuesday as a matter of fact). They are home now and doing great. She really wanted a homebirth, it just didn't work out.
I know there are several her that have had hombirths after a stillbirth. I will see if I can find the links for you.

[Elle]

I'm not sure about your area, but there is actually a facility staffed with mid-wives and nurses that does nothing BUT waterbirths here in Oregon.

Perhaps a place like that would be a good trade - a waterbirth with a more clinical setting?

[MrsSpencer]

Here in WV we have a birthing center (they have bedrooms with tubs for waterbirths) no intervention (across the street from major hospitals) in case something does happen. I agree to contact a midwife and find out how to go about it. Best of luck!

[Melissa Hubbard]

It wasnt so much the water birth that enticed me, but just the idea of being home where it is quiet and warm and comfortable. No Doctors pulling my baby through the birth canal and jabbing sucktion devices into his/her nose and throat, being able to see my baby the very instant it is born... My first baby was born when I was only 16. She was only 4 weeks early and was 6 lbs 2oz and fairly healthy. But the moment she was born they rushed here away- scrubbed her off with towels, pricked her heal, sucked her out... It took them almost 10 minutes to finally let me see her and when I did I saw a head sticking out of a blanket and that was it, they shoved her in my face and said, Hear how she is breathing? She needs to be cchecked out... All i could think is, well I WOULD be breathing fast too if I had just been ripped from my warm comfy home and had all that stuff done... I didnt get to actually hold her until later that morning and she was born at 10:40pm.. It was a mess..

Anyway- really sorrry for the ranty story lol

I would definately have an OB, regular Drs visits and a midwife in my future pregnancy with the hopes of having a home birth...

[marybethsmomma]

With a really good DR and a CNM, you can have a great hospital birth. I was honored to be able to be my SIL's doula and that's how it was.

To be honest, I wouldn't risk having a homebirth. My second homebirth is why I am here. Though childbirth can go well, sometimes it doesn't and the outcome is dependent upon where you are. Hospitals are able to get you into surgery quickly should the need arise but transferring to the hospital will take up more precious time that a mother and/or baby may not have. Our homes are not equipped for emergencies and alot of midwives themselves aren't either.

For me, having to live day in and day out knowing that my daughter's death was preventable, is a weight no parent should have to carry. Everyday life hurts. Sometimes I don't even feel like I deserve to live and pray for God to just take me. This hurt and pain isn't worth it.

[JenniferBrown]

I had my losses early in our marriage. We (not by choice) had a 5 yr break and then our daughter was born, full term. I had to have her in a hospital. It was against military housing rules to have her at home for a planned home birth.

When she was 1 1/2 yrs old I delivered our son. I tried to find a midwife (had little experience in knowing how to search for one online back then) and went with our family practice dr... had him in a hospital.

Neither pregnancy for the both of them were complicated or had any problems. Both births were fine. So.... when I got pregnant with my last child..... lol.... I found a midwife that delivered at home. I met with her. Told her of my history and how my last 2 children were perfect and fine and how their pregnancy and delivery went... I was a perfect candidate for home birth. :)
I had dreamed of having a water birth and our hospital didn't offer that option. I was thrilled! I had nice visits with her once a month and I didn't feel like a number being rushed out of the door each time I came in.
One time I fell down a flight of stairs, straight on my stomach! I was soooo terrified that I hurt the baby. She let me come in and see her and we spent 20 minutes trying to find his heartbeat... BUT WE DID! She knew how important it was to me to find his heartbeat and hear it whosh whosh whosh'ing in there. She took time out of her day to do that for me. It was great!

So, my last baby was born at home. We put a birthing pool (sort of like a kiddy blow up pool but this had air rings under it so I wasn't sitting on the floor) in my livingroom and filled it with warm water. I was able to labor with my family around me and my midwife right there with me, monitoring my baby and just being (as comfy as possible) comfortable in my own home.

He was born in the water and we waited for me to deliver the placenta before we had his cord cut (my 3 yr old daughter got the priviledge of cutting his cord along with my Mom helping her). It was everything I wanted to experience! My hubby couldn't handle being in a hospital so he wasn't there for the other 2 kid's births but made it to this one. My sis in law came (she hadn't had kids yet) and my aunt (who passed away 1 1/2 yrs later) was able to be there with me as well. It was a very blessed time!

Ok so I didn't want to make this about me but wanted to share a positive home birth story with you since my losses were before my kids were born. I hope it helped you some. Each pregnancy and delivery are different and I pray that you get all of what you are looking for in your next birth (or next few ;)).

Hugs,
Jen

[Kimberlee Kenner]

Three of my Five living children were born at home. 10 months ago I had my baby after my loss. It was a very long, but amazing and healing homebirth. It was right for me, and her.