Cheryl Haggard
05-12-2006, 02:13 PM
These are email I receive from parents that never had the opportunity to use the services of NILMDTS. Either because, they didn't know of our services until it was too late, or because the hospital did not present the parents with this option. Please know that these email break our hearts. But again, I feel it is so important to share these with you, so you all know how important these memories are to the parents and how needed the NILMDTS services are.
Please help us in our mission to bring this awareness to ALL parents. Please take the time to forward our website www.nilmdts.org (http://www.nilmdts.org/) to everyone you know. You will be helping a family find our services, and create a lifetime of memories with their baby in the short amout of time they have to spend together. Thank you~ Cheryl Haggard
Subject: Thank You
Message: I just wanted to thank you and your co-founder for putting this
organization together. In 2004 I lost my twin boys at 21 weeks pregnant. They were born alive but died within hours. The pictures that the hospital took of my sons are horrible. They are mostly naked, bloody and disturbing. They took a couple of pictures of the swaddled babies with a polaroid camera that came out blurry. Those are all the pictures I have. I read about you in my Creative Memories magazine, Lasting Moments, and was so in awe and wishing I had known about you so long ago. I am gong to pass this link on to the woman in my online support groups so that they can pass it on to the hospitals where they delivered their babies. I will also pass it on to XXXXXXXXX Medical Center, where I delivered my boys, as I am doing a Memory Album project with bereaved parents. Again, Thank You for founding such an incredible and important organization.
Subject: pictures
Message: I just wanted to tell you that I think what you do is wonderful. I
recently lost our son at 23 weeks and at the time we were not prepared and the hospital told us they would take pictures for us on a disposable camera and we could chose if we wanted to develop them or not. We waited a while to do so and now I wish I never would have looked at them. Not because I dont want to see my baby again, but because they look like they waited until the day after he was born to take them and they didnt even try to get close up to his face or hands or feet. They are not centered and the top of his head is not even in some of the pictures. When he was born he was alive so his color was normal, he was small but everything else was perfect. Sorry this is so long, I just wish more people knew about your services and the hospitals tried better to provide the best for families that go through a loss. Again I thank you for what you do. You are a blessing to these families. All I have is the memory and that will have to do.
Subject: NILMDTS services
Message: I came across your website from the Lasting Moments Magazine, there was an article in there and your website was mentioned. I looked through your website and I can't believe what services you provide for these families, it's really great and I sat here and cried and cried. My son was stillborn 5 years ago and we have the pictures we took, at least we have those. The pictures on your website are beautiful. I wish I would have know about photographers like this when my son had passed. I just want to let you know that your non profit organization and photographers are doing a wonderful thing for these families.
Subject: Wish I knew
Message: My husband and I went thru a very tramatic experience Dec 8th, I was 25 weeks pregnant and was feeling great. I had a nose bleed went to the doctor as a precaution and ended up being prepped for plasma transfusion and emergency c-section. My baby was under weight by 4 weeks so she was weighing in at 21 weeks instead of 25. Logan Alexandria was born on Dec 10th and lived for 30 hours. My biggest regret is that I got no pictures with her or with my 3 yr old daughter who constantly ask why she didn't get to see her. Now finding out that it would be life threating to have another child the regret is even more. I would like to volunteer with your organization if possible to let other parents with children in the NICU know that you exist. Please let me know how I can be of help.
Subject: Pictures we have
Message: I am just crushed I didn't know about you before my baby was buried. We had preemie twins and one died right after birth. We have only a very few polaroids that the NICU staff took for us. They are hard to look at and not the best quality. Is there anything you could do to work with the pictures to give us a photo that we could blow up and display. Our daughter was white she was so pale. I don't know if you do anything like retouching or working on existing photos, but if you do please let me know.
Subject: Katherine Elizabeth born & died 2-8-06
Message: A friend of mine just told me about your web-site, and the wonderful labor of love you are providing to parents who have lost a child, I only wished I would have know of you in Feb. when I lost my daughter to Trisomy 13. I saw the beautiful slide show presentation your foundation has created for parents, and wanted to know if at all possible, your foundation could create one for my precious Katherine Elizabeth from the pictures that we took?
Subject: Cydney Paige
Message: I have suffered a loss recently of my beautiful daughter Cydney Paige. She came 13 years after my son Willie and I thought what a wonderful blessing, still a wonderful blessing, but I have a huge hole in my heart now. I can't begin to understand what happened, I thought I was the most lucky person when I got pregnant, I always wanted another baby, and to get a girl who couls ask for more! But when she was born she was diagnosed with Transposition of the great arteries, A rare heart and lethal heart condition, one in one thousand babies! How could it happen to me? Worst of all the hospitals in my country, Trinidad cannot deal with the situation. She died 5 days later as we desperately struggled to make arrangements to get her to Florida for surgery. I have just a few photos of her most in the hospital in an old rusty crib with tubes attached. One very beautiful one of her from my son's cell phone, but a poor quality when I try to print it. I came across your site and wondered if you can help me. I would like to use the photos I have in frames, but wished that I could get something done to not show the tubes etc. You do a wonderfully special thing for people like us and I can only say that I wished I could have had something like this extended to me. Obviously at the time Cydney Paige was in the hospital it never occured to me that I would be here today without her I never imagined this would have been the outcome and the doctors never said to me that her chances were slim.
Subject: My first and only child, Kaden was born sleeping/full term November 10, 2005.
Message: Someone on my message board posted your website and said that they wished they had that option when their Angel passed on. I am one of those people that wishes that also. The photo that I was given from the hospital is a horrible photo. I cannot even show it off for fear of offending someone. I have to tell them that they cannot see my son because I am scared. I know the feeling of coming home empty handed. I would not have had a photo if I would not have asked for it. It is a shame that the hospital staff cannot treat a Bereaved Parent the same as a Thrilled Parent. It really tugs at the heart strings.
Subject: I found a pamphlet at work about the photography that your company does and I just wanted to say congratulations.
Message: I have been an RN for 16 years, and have thought that there was a need for this type of thing. My sister lost her baby at 33 weeks, and I would have loved as would have she, to have had pics like what you do. I almost lost my baby last year and at the back of my mind was should I, or not take pics, but you make them so beautiful and meaningful. So I just wanted to say Thank you. Should I ever be in the situation at work, I will recommend you. Personally it should be done for all babies and the option given to the parents to accept them, because I think most of them would.
Subject: NILMDTS
Message: I just could not pass up this moment to tell you how touched I am by what you are doing to help bereaved parents. My daughter Emerson Jade was stillborn at 32 weeks on 1/24/05 due to an umbilical cord accident. The nurse at the hospital took very basic photos but they are my most treasured possessions. The photos that you are providing are incredibly moving and beautiful. I am crying right now as I write this to you because it brings back so many memories. Your photos bring me back to the day that I gave birth and just did not want to give her up. I would have given anything to have such beautiful pictures of my precious Emerson. God bless you for what you are doing.
Subject: Loss of my son, Michael Dylan
Message: My brother-in-law forwarded me information on your organization and a link to your website. My husband and I lost our son Michael Dylan on July 22, 2004 after 12 hours. I wish we had known about the photography then, as we would have loved to have pictures taken. We did have our digital camera and my husband took pictures of Michael's delivery, him in the NICU and pictures with us that we treasure. I think it is a wonderful thing that you are doing.
Subject: Just to say thanks
Message: I have recently moved here from the UK and found your web site. I lost a baby boy due to pre-eclymsia at 26 weeks into my pregancy 06/24/04. He was in intensive care for 12 days but unfortunately lost his battle due to lung problems 07/06/04. It seems that there is much more support available in the US as I had no support at all. I would just like to say thanks as your site lets people know they are not the only ones.
My most treasured memory of Adam Jon is a cast of his hand and foot which was framed. It sounds strange but it is really part of him, not like the hand and foot print the hospital did. I can see every crease in his hand and foot and all those perfect hands and toes.
Subject: Thank you
Message: I think what you do for these families is wonderful. I don't live anywhere near you but I wish I had something like this near me for when I lost my daughter on December 24. I would have loved that. I just wanted to tell you that this website and what you do truely touched me and I admire you for what you do. You are a bereaved familys angel on earth.
Subject: Want to help
Message: We lost our son Caleb on June 26th of this past year at birth. It was very sudden and we had no idea that anything was wrong. When he was born, he was not breathing and the nursing staff was never able to resesitate him. It turns out that he had undergone some severe fetal distress and a C-section was never done. At the time my husband and I were in shock and extreme grief. Pictures were the last thing we were thinking of. The nursing staff took a few poloroid photos of Caleb for us. If only this option of professional photography was available to us at the time, it might have given us some sort of direction or ideas of how capture each memory of Caleb. It would have been wonderful to know this resource was available when we lost our son.
Subject: My Baby
Message: I was brought to tears by your article in the Denver Post about your wonderful organization. It will be 24 years this May 15th that our first son was born stillborn due to a cord. How I wish there would of been an organization like yours at that time. My biggest regret is that I did not hold our son, though my husband did. I would so cherish a picture of him. When asked how many children I have, I say I have 2 sons but we had another but he died at birth. To not mention him, is to deny him and his existence.
Subject: Good for you
Message: I just wanted to tell you that you are all doing a great thing! God Bless you all and your efforts. My husband and I lost a daughter four years ago when she was stillborn and thank God we had his digital camera in the car. The hospital took newborn pictures of her, but they aren't nearly as precious to us as those we took of each other holding her. There will be some people who may think what you're doing is strange, but for anyone who has lost a child, we understand and applaud you.
Subject: Our Baby Sydney
Message: Oh, I wish I would have known about your organization while we were going through our journey with Sydney (my niece). Sydney was only 2 months old when she died, and how we would have loved pictures like these of her. What a great thing to do for these families.
Message: We found an organization which offered this kind of networking and referral, but the photographer in our area did not respond to emails, so we were unable to have photos taken of Sidney. Her birth was extremely difficult for me, so when she was born, I was incapable of even opening my eyes for about 5 minutes. They told me they layed her on my lap and that she turned to look at me, just before she lost consciousness, but I was not able to see that. Had someone been there who could just concentrate on photos, we might have had some record of that moment. I miss most that I tried so hard to give her every chance at life, and in the end I got just 18 minutes, and all the time I had with her, she was already leaving, so I never felt HER inside that body.
__________________
Please help us in our mission to bring this awareness to ALL parents. Please take the time to forward our website www.nilmdts.org (http://www.nilmdts.org/) to everyone you know. You will be helping a family find our services, and create a lifetime of memories with their baby in the short amout of time they have to spend together. Thank you~ Cheryl Haggard
Subject: Thank You
Message: I just wanted to thank you and your co-founder for putting this
organization together. In 2004 I lost my twin boys at 21 weeks pregnant. They were born alive but died within hours. The pictures that the hospital took of my sons are horrible. They are mostly naked, bloody and disturbing. They took a couple of pictures of the swaddled babies with a polaroid camera that came out blurry. Those are all the pictures I have. I read about you in my Creative Memories magazine, Lasting Moments, and was so in awe and wishing I had known about you so long ago. I am gong to pass this link on to the woman in my online support groups so that they can pass it on to the hospitals where they delivered their babies. I will also pass it on to XXXXXXXXX Medical Center, where I delivered my boys, as I am doing a Memory Album project with bereaved parents. Again, Thank You for founding such an incredible and important organization.
Subject: pictures
Message: I just wanted to tell you that I think what you do is wonderful. I
recently lost our son at 23 weeks and at the time we were not prepared and the hospital told us they would take pictures for us on a disposable camera and we could chose if we wanted to develop them or not. We waited a while to do so and now I wish I never would have looked at them. Not because I dont want to see my baby again, but because they look like they waited until the day after he was born to take them and they didnt even try to get close up to his face or hands or feet. They are not centered and the top of his head is not even in some of the pictures. When he was born he was alive so his color was normal, he was small but everything else was perfect. Sorry this is so long, I just wish more people knew about your services and the hospitals tried better to provide the best for families that go through a loss. Again I thank you for what you do. You are a blessing to these families. All I have is the memory and that will have to do.
Subject: NILMDTS services
Message: I came across your website from the Lasting Moments Magazine, there was an article in there and your website was mentioned. I looked through your website and I can't believe what services you provide for these families, it's really great and I sat here and cried and cried. My son was stillborn 5 years ago and we have the pictures we took, at least we have those. The pictures on your website are beautiful. I wish I would have know about photographers like this when my son had passed. I just want to let you know that your non profit organization and photographers are doing a wonderful thing for these families.
Subject: Wish I knew
Message: My husband and I went thru a very tramatic experience Dec 8th, I was 25 weeks pregnant and was feeling great. I had a nose bleed went to the doctor as a precaution and ended up being prepped for plasma transfusion and emergency c-section. My baby was under weight by 4 weeks so she was weighing in at 21 weeks instead of 25. Logan Alexandria was born on Dec 10th and lived for 30 hours. My biggest regret is that I got no pictures with her or with my 3 yr old daughter who constantly ask why she didn't get to see her. Now finding out that it would be life threating to have another child the regret is even more. I would like to volunteer with your organization if possible to let other parents with children in the NICU know that you exist. Please let me know how I can be of help.
Subject: Pictures we have
Message: I am just crushed I didn't know about you before my baby was buried. We had preemie twins and one died right after birth. We have only a very few polaroids that the NICU staff took for us. They are hard to look at and not the best quality. Is there anything you could do to work with the pictures to give us a photo that we could blow up and display. Our daughter was white she was so pale. I don't know if you do anything like retouching or working on existing photos, but if you do please let me know.
Subject: Katherine Elizabeth born & died 2-8-06
Message: A friend of mine just told me about your web-site, and the wonderful labor of love you are providing to parents who have lost a child, I only wished I would have know of you in Feb. when I lost my daughter to Trisomy 13. I saw the beautiful slide show presentation your foundation has created for parents, and wanted to know if at all possible, your foundation could create one for my precious Katherine Elizabeth from the pictures that we took?
Subject: Cydney Paige
Message: I have suffered a loss recently of my beautiful daughter Cydney Paige. She came 13 years after my son Willie and I thought what a wonderful blessing, still a wonderful blessing, but I have a huge hole in my heart now. I can't begin to understand what happened, I thought I was the most lucky person when I got pregnant, I always wanted another baby, and to get a girl who couls ask for more! But when she was born she was diagnosed with Transposition of the great arteries, A rare heart and lethal heart condition, one in one thousand babies! How could it happen to me? Worst of all the hospitals in my country, Trinidad cannot deal with the situation. She died 5 days later as we desperately struggled to make arrangements to get her to Florida for surgery. I have just a few photos of her most in the hospital in an old rusty crib with tubes attached. One very beautiful one of her from my son's cell phone, but a poor quality when I try to print it. I came across your site and wondered if you can help me. I would like to use the photos I have in frames, but wished that I could get something done to not show the tubes etc. You do a wonderfully special thing for people like us and I can only say that I wished I could have had something like this extended to me. Obviously at the time Cydney Paige was in the hospital it never occured to me that I would be here today without her I never imagined this would have been the outcome and the doctors never said to me that her chances were slim.
Subject: My first and only child, Kaden was born sleeping/full term November 10, 2005.
Message: Someone on my message board posted your website and said that they wished they had that option when their Angel passed on. I am one of those people that wishes that also. The photo that I was given from the hospital is a horrible photo. I cannot even show it off for fear of offending someone. I have to tell them that they cannot see my son because I am scared. I know the feeling of coming home empty handed. I would not have had a photo if I would not have asked for it. It is a shame that the hospital staff cannot treat a Bereaved Parent the same as a Thrilled Parent. It really tugs at the heart strings.
Subject: I found a pamphlet at work about the photography that your company does and I just wanted to say congratulations.
Message: I have been an RN for 16 years, and have thought that there was a need for this type of thing. My sister lost her baby at 33 weeks, and I would have loved as would have she, to have had pics like what you do. I almost lost my baby last year and at the back of my mind was should I, or not take pics, but you make them so beautiful and meaningful. So I just wanted to say Thank you. Should I ever be in the situation at work, I will recommend you. Personally it should be done for all babies and the option given to the parents to accept them, because I think most of them would.
Subject: NILMDTS
Message: I just could not pass up this moment to tell you how touched I am by what you are doing to help bereaved parents. My daughter Emerson Jade was stillborn at 32 weeks on 1/24/05 due to an umbilical cord accident. The nurse at the hospital took very basic photos but they are my most treasured possessions. The photos that you are providing are incredibly moving and beautiful. I am crying right now as I write this to you because it brings back so many memories. Your photos bring me back to the day that I gave birth and just did not want to give her up. I would have given anything to have such beautiful pictures of my precious Emerson. God bless you for what you are doing.
Subject: Loss of my son, Michael Dylan
Message: My brother-in-law forwarded me information on your organization and a link to your website. My husband and I lost our son Michael Dylan on July 22, 2004 after 12 hours. I wish we had known about the photography then, as we would have loved to have pictures taken. We did have our digital camera and my husband took pictures of Michael's delivery, him in the NICU and pictures with us that we treasure. I think it is a wonderful thing that you are doing.
Subject: Just to say thanks
Message: I have recently moved here from the UK and found your web site. I lost a baby boy due to pre-eclymsia at 26 weeks into my pregancy 06/24/04. He was in intensive care for 12 days but unfortunately lost his battle due to lung problems 07/06/04. It seems that there is much more support available in the US as I had no support at all. I would just like to say thanks as your site lets people know they are not the only ones.
My most treasured memory of Adam Jon is a cast of his hand and foot which was framed. It sounds strange but it is really part of him, not like the hand and foot print the hospital did. I can see every crease in his hand and foot and all those perfect hands and toes.
Subject: Thank you
Message: I think what you do for these families is wonderful. I don't live anywhere near you but I wish I had something like this near me for when I lost my daughter on December 24. I would have loved that. I just wanted to tell you that this website and what you do truely touched me and I admire you for what you do. You are a bereaved familys angel on earth.
Subject: Want to help
Message: We lost our son Caleb on June 26th of this past year at birth. It was very sudden and we had no idea that anything was wrong. When he was born, he was not breathing and the nursing staff was never able to resesitate him. It turns out that he had undergone some severe fetal distress and a C-section was never done. At the time my husband and I were in shock and extreme grief. Pictures were the last thing we were thinking of. The nursing staff took a few poloroid photos of Caleb for us. If only this option of professional photography was available to us at the time, it might have given us some sort of direction or ideas of how capture each memory of Caleb. It would have been wonderful to know this resource was available when we lost our son.
Subject: My Baby
Message: I was brought to tears by your article in the Denver Post about your wonderful organization. It will be 24 years this May 15th that our first son was born stillborn due to a cord. How I wish there would of been an organization like yours at that time. My biggest regret is that I did not hold our son, though my husband did. I would so cherish a picture of him. When asked how many children I have, I say I have 2 sons but we had another but he died at birth. To not mention him, is to deny him and his existence.
Subject: Good for you
Message: I just wanted to tell you that you are all doing a great thing! God Bless you all and your efforts. My husband and I lost a daughter four years ago when she was stillborn and thank God we had his digital camera in the car. The hospital took newborn pictures of her, but they aren't nearly as precious to us as those we took of each other holding her. There will be some people who may think what you're doing is strange, but for anyone who has lost a child, we understand and applaud you.
Subject: Our Baby Sydney
Message: Oh, I wish I would have known about your organization while we were going through our journey with Sydney (my niece). Sydney was only 2 months old when she died, and how we would have loved pictures like these of her. What a great thing to do for these families.
Message: We found an organization which offered this kind of networking and referral, but the photographer in our area did not respond to emails, so we were unable to have photos taken of Sidney. Her birth was extremely difficult for me, so when she was born, I was incapable of even opening my eyes for about 5 minutes. They told me they layed her on my lap and that she turned to look at me, just before she lost consciousness, but I was not able to see that. Had someone been there who could just concentrate on photos, we might have had some record of that moment. I miss most that I tried so hard to give her every chance at life, and in the end I got just 18 minutes, and all the time I had with her, she was already leaving, so I never felt HER inside that body.
__________________