What do I say to a grieving parent at this time of year?

[Rayna']

I have a friend (we aren't close but I still consider her a friend) who lost her 3 yr old and 18 month old this summer due to drowning. I was able to photograph everything concerning their funeral.

I would like to send her a note telling her that I am thinking of her and her family. I'm worried that I will say the wrong thing. I know that I have also lost babies, but her situation seems so different from mine.

rayna

[isaacnhannahsmama]

I think just letting her know you're here for her, to be support, not necessarily sayin anything. Sometimes it's just so good to be able to cry or be angry & have someone just be your "sounding board"
I know my situation is also not like your friends, & I can't imagine the depth of pain her heart is feeling. I feel if I was in your shoes I would just wanna let her know I love her & am available 24/7
Will be praying for your friend

[Madge]

I agree. Letting her know that you remember her, her children, the pain, is an act of compassion that she will appreciate.

[Tammy Fisher10]

This is a tough one...I haven't lost a child but, my husband died when my son was only 9 days old. My son is now 14 years old, the one thing I can remember is the people that were there for me (even if they didn't say all the right things). There were so many of my friends that didn't come around or call because they didn't know what to say. So my advice to you is say what comes from your heart and just make sure she knows you are there for her. Sometimes knowing that you are there is enough without having to say a thing.

[Cheryl Haggard]

Rayna, I think a card is a beautiful idea...Something simple...Tell them that you are thinking about them and their precious angels...Or have you considered an ornament for each of the children to hang on their tree...Things remembered has beautiful ones, and you could engrave their name on it and the year...I might include the word angel before their names, if you think it is appropriate...

[Vicki]

Rayna,
I'm sure that if you speak from your heart you won't say the wrong thing . . . telling them that you are thinking of them and the children will let them know that they aren't alone in their grief.
I remember those photos Rayna . . . that was one of the hardest edits I have done . . . incredibly sad and I'm sure that they are still deep in the pain of that loss. Getting a card from you will surely be appreciated . . .

Hugs to you Rayna!

Vicki

[efswsjuly17]

Just you thinking about her is special. She I am sure will appreciate your compassion with the simplest of things. Everyone here has been so wonderful and supportive. The words will come to you.

Brandy

[George]

Rayna,

I remember your friend's story and that she also has cancer.

Just a short card acknowledging her loss is all that is needed.

Also, I am always touched when someone makes a donation to a charity in Ezri's honor and the charity sends me a card letting me know a memorial was made.

Maybe you can make a donation to a cancer society or another charity that is meaningful to her in her children's name.

[JenniferBrown]

I would write her a note.

One thing to remember. When someone loses a child, most people are afraid to mention their names. It may be nice for her if you acknowledge the kids by saying that you are thinking of her and (their names here) the kids. (add her hubby if she's married)
After a friend of mine lost her full term baby, a few months later she and I were talking and I mentioned Olivia's name. She stopped me dead in my sentence and said "Thank you for saying her name". That meant a lot to her. :)

Merry Christmas Ranya'. You'll say the right thing and even if it isn't... you said something. :)