LaylasMama27
03-07-2009, 02:10 PM
What mother ever thinks that she will have to go through this kind of pain? For this was my first pregnancy there were a lot of unkowns out there for me but having to lose the baby that I carried for 35 and a half weeks was never one of my concerns until Jan.
I found out in July 2008 I was pregnant and when we went into the doctor it was confirmed and gave us an estimated due date of March 14, 2009. I was so excited but my husband had mixed feelings. We have been together for 5 years but only married one, and as most know that first year can be really tough and for us it had turned out to be. He wasn't sure that he wanted to be a part of this or not so I told him that if he didnt want to then he didnt have to. I could do it on my own because I have an amazing support system. But he came around and since the begining he became my greatest supporter! He went to every appointment with me, began to read all of my books and I am pretty sure that he knew more than I did about being pregnant! But back to the story...
I had a healthy pregnancy the whole time. I hadn't gained weight until my 6th month, never had any complications, Layla's heart beat was always strong, we saw her move her arms and things in the ultra sounds, and I even felt her move in me in October, November, and December. But then in December I noticed decrease movement but as a first time mother I didnt know how much she was supposed to move anyways so I didnt tell my doctor until Jan. at my next appointment. So then I told her and we did the non stress test for a few times and biophyiscal profile's and her heart was still strong. But she wasnt reacting enough for the doctor to feel ok about what was going on. She then sent us to Dr. Hobbins, a perinatologist in Denver, to do an ultra sound and see what he thought.
I was actually a little excited to go see him because I knew I would get to see my baby again! But then he started to measure things and her body was measuring along where she should be, measuring at about 31 weeks and I was 32 weeks, but then he took a look at her brain and it was only measuring 22 weeks. It took everything in my to stay composed in that room. He wasnt sure what this would mean and if it was even right becuase she was breech with her toes by her head and the back of her head laying towards my back. He also noticed that she didnt do any of the practice breathing and I was carrying extra fluid as well which means she wasnt swallowing. After all of this news I just lost it in the car. My husband told me not to worry because they werent even sure if anything was wrong. I then got set up to get an MRI so they could get better images of her.
Sure enough the following day Dr. Hobbins called me and confirmed everything he had seen. He brain stem and lungs were under developed and they werent sure how long her spinal cord was so she could have been paralyzed as well. It is kind of a blessing in disguise that we had at least a little warning that she may not make it and if she did she would have a rough life, but I was prepared to do anything and everything I could to help save her and make her life as good as possible.
We got set up with a team at Children's Hospital, Dr. Hulac and Nacny English who is an RN, that helps families deal when they dont know the outcome of their baby. The Dr's were so puzzled by the things that were wrong with her because they have never seen them all together at once in on child. So in the following weeks we got prepared and and in the mean time I had gotten way bigger! We went over what all of this would mean...would she not be able to even breathe on her own? If she could then what would happen? I ended up going in a getting an amnio reduction and they took out 2 liters of fluid and could have easily taken more. As the weeks passed we tried to prepare ourselves for the worst but still always had that little bit of hope.
Then came the night, tuesday Feb 10th. At about 9:30 my water broke and it was just like the movies, a big gush of water! At my last appointment the measure my stomach at 46 cm so I was 11 weeks ahead of what I really should have been and it was all fluid. But not even mins after my water broke the contractions started and they went from 5 mins apart to 3 mins. By the time we got to the hospital at 10:30 pm I was already fully dialated and with each contraction her heart rate went down so I got rushed into the OR for an emergency c-section. I was horrified, I knew she wasnt ready to come out, but looking back on it know if I would have kept in her in there for 4 more weeks it wouldnt have mattered. So at 11:05 pm our angel was born asleep.
When I woke up I was so heavily druged that I didnt really know what was going on but the first thing I asked was about Layla. I looked at my husband and said "She didn't make it huh?" He then of course said no and at the time I still dont think that it had hit met yet before I went to bed. I did see her before I fell asleep. She was precious, the cutest thing I have ever seen! It was the strangest thing because it was like I was pregnant for 8 months and then had surgery and it was over. It seems like for almost nothing, but I know what came out of it our sweet precious baby girl and I wouldnt trade that for a anything in the world!
I believe things happen for a reason but it is hard to believe that when your child dies. In our case, as a I mentioned before, our marriage almost ended but because of this little girl we are stronger now than we have ever been! She is an amazing baby. She came to keep us together and make our marriage stronger for her future sibilings and left so peacefully.
We havent gotten any results back from the autopsy so don't know what caused it. The amnio came back good though with all of the chromosomes being ok which I guess is a good step in the direction of it not being genetic.
Sorry this is so long, but thank you for taking the time to read it and hear the story of our sweet angel Layla Brielle.
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I found out in July 2008 I was pregnant and when we went into the doctor it was confirmed and gave us an estimated due date of March 14, 2009. I was so excited but my husband had mixed feelings. We have been together for 5 years but only married one, and as most know that first year can be really tough and for us it had turned out to be. He wasn't sure that he wanted to be a part of this or not so I told him that if he didnt want to then he didnt have to. I could do it on my own because I have an amazing support system. But he came around and since the begining he became my greatest supporter! He went to every appointment with me, began to read all of my books and I am pretty sure that he knew more than I did about being pregnant! But back to the story...
I had a healthy pregnancy the whole time. I hadn't gained weight until my 6th month, never had any complications, Layla's heart beat was always strong, we saw her move her arms and things in the ultra sounds, and I even felt her move in me in October, November, and December. But then in December I noticed decrease movement but as a first time mother I didnt know how much she was supposed to move anyways so I didnt tell my doctor until Jan. at my next appointment. So then I told her and we did the non stress test for a few times and biophyiscal profile's and her heart was still strong. But she wasnt reacting enough for the doctor to feel ok about what was going on. She then sent us to Dr. Hobbins, a perinatologist in Denver, to do an ultra sound and see what he thought.
I was actually a little excited to go see him because I knew I would get to see my baby again! But then he started to measure things and her body was measuring along where she should be, measuring at about 31 weeks and I was 32 weeks, but then he took a look at her brain and it was only measuring 22 weeks. It took everything in my to stay composed in that room. He wasnt sure what this would mean and if it was even right becuase she was breech with her toes by her head and the back of her head laying towards my back. He also noticed that she didnt do any of the practice breathing and I was carrying extra fluid as well which means she wasnt swallowing. After all of this news I just lost it in the car. My husband told me not to worry because they werent even sure if anything was wrong. I then got set up to get an MRI so they could get better images of her.
Sure enough the following day Dr. Hobbins called me and confirmed everything he had seen. He brain stem and lungs were under developed and they werent sure how long her spinal cord was so she could have been paralyzed as well. It is kind of a blessing in disguise that we had at least a little warning that she may not make it and if she did she would have a rough life, but I was prepared to do anything and everything I could to help save her and make her life as good as possible.
We got set up with a team at Children's Hospital, Dr. Hulac and Nacny English who is an RN, that helps families deal when they dont know the outcome of their baby. The Dr's were so puzzled by the things that were wrong with her because they have never seen them all together at once in on child. So in the following weeks we got prepared and and in the mean time I had gotten way bigger! We went over what all of this would mean...would she not be able to even breathe on her own? If she could then what would happen? I ended up going in a getting an amnio reduction and they took out 2 liters of fluid and could have easily taken more. As the weeks passed we tried to prepare ourselves for the worst but still always had that little bit of hope.
Then came the night, tuesday Feb 10th. At about 9:30 my water broke and it was just like the movies, a big gush of water! At my last appointment the measure my stomach at 46 cm so I was 11 weeks ahead of what I really should have been and it was all fluid. But not even mins after my water broke the contractions started and they went from 5 mins apart to 3 mins. By the time we got to the hospital at 10:30 pm I was already fully dialated and with each contraction her heart rate went down so I got rushed into the OR for an emergency c-section. I was horrified, I knew she wasnt ready to come out, but looking back on it know if I would have kept in her in there for 4 more weeks it wouldnt have mattered. So at 11:05 pm our angel was born asleep.
When I woke up I was so heavily druged that I didnt really know what was going on but the first thing I asked was about Layla. I looked at my husband and said "She didn't make it huh?" He then of course said no and at the time I still dont think that it had hit met yet before I went to bed. I did see her before I fell asleep. She was precious, the cutest thing I have ever seen! It was the strangest thing because it was like I was pregnant for 8 months and then had surgery and it was over. It seems like for almost nothing, but I know what came out of it our sweet precious baby girl and I wouldnt trade that for a anything in the world!
I believe things happen for a reason but it is hard to believe that when your child dies. In our case, as a I mentioned before, our marriage almost ended but because of this little girl we are stronger now than we have ever been! She is an amazing baby. She came to keep us together and make our marriage stronger for her future sibilings and left so peacefully.
We havent gotten any results back from the autopsy so don't know what caused it. The amnio came back good though with all of the chromosomes being ok which I guess is a good step in the direction of it not being genetic.
Sorry this is so long, but thank you for taking the time to read it and hear the story of our sweet angel Layla Brielle.
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