I need to help my Husband

[Stephie84]

I'm 27 wks along carrying out 2nd son who suffers from PUV. About a month ago we found out that his kidneys have failed. I choose to carry to term, hoping for a miracle but knowing what the Dr.'s have told us, will probably happen to our lil baby boy. That day was the last day my husband talked to me. He will not speak to anyone. Not even his own mother. He has told her a few times that he wishes to not think about it, and sometimes acts like it's not even happening. He hardley acknowledges that i'm preganant anymore. He's completelty gone. I feel like the only reason he's in the house is to co parent our 2 yr old son. Because whenever there is a free moment he runs off to play basketball, wash the car, or needs to run to the store. I know he's hurting but I need him right now. He doesn't even ask me about my dr. appts anymore. I'm forcing him to go to my next one since we need to meet with the comfort care nurse. However I have a strong feeling he will find an excuse to back out of it. I know men and women grieve differently, but this is just out of hand. I need him. I don't even know if he wants our son to be burried or cremated. I don't even know if he's 100% on board with comfort care. He just wont talk to me.

Help
thank you
-Stephanee
http://vaydenjamesstewart.blogspot.com/

[MamaBethany]

Oh, boy, I wish I had an answer for you on this one, but I don't. Others here will have some helpful words, I know. He can't hide from this reality forever, and it's going to be tough when the truth hits him. I know how painful this must feel to you.

I know he's not ready yet, but many of us here have found counseling to be very helpful -- especially in helping couples learn how to communicate and help each other through grief.

Sending prayers to heaven on your behalf,
Jennifer

[Marcus Momma]

My husband didn't like talking about marcus afterwards because he was scared I was going toget upset and cry he didn't want to see me hurt. He didn't know what to do when i got upset. I knew he was hurting to but he was more scared about me and how i was dealing with his death and scared I was going to have a mental breakdown. Thats all I can say. I know mentioning counseling might upset him at you also. Men are stubborn. When they hurt they want no one to know it they want to be strong for their family. They don't want anyone to see them cry or hurt for their child. I will be praying for both of you.

[Stephie84]

Yeah i've made 2 apt with our therapist. We have one becuz he deploys and when he gets back when need to get back on the same page. So she already knew us. However "something came up on both apts" after two fights I stopped making apts. I was tired of focusing all my attention on him and not Vayden. Yet I still think of my hubby often and worry that he is angry with God. I am not angry with God. I've been there done that and I'm over it. But If my husband is we will not get through this the same. I just want us to be on the same page. I don't need him to shed tears everytime I do, but like I said I don't even know what he wants to do to honor our son. I hope it does get better.

[angel_26]

i know how u feel about ur husband not talking, my b/f dont talk either we knew something was wrong with ours but it was fixable and but something else had happened with blood clots in the cord thats why we have an angel. he would never talk about it bc he didnt want to see me cry or anything. you need to have someone to talk to and thats the closest person to u and it feels like your doing all this alone. do u think he might not be talking bc he is scared and upset and dont want to see you upset. I feel so bad for u guys I will be praying for u guys and hoping you make it threw this rought time *HUGS*