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View Full Version : CTT - Ended @ 33w6d



NoQuotaOnGrief
09-20-2009, 10:11 PM
Just wanted to let you all know that Aurora Nicole was stillborn on 9/10/09 @ 33w6d gestation. She suffered from Trisomy 13, holoprosencephaly, heart defect and some other stuff. Her little defective heart just gave out on her. My water broke @ 10:15PM and it felt like we were on the original Chisolm Trail to go the 18 miles to the hospital. I had to concentrate on NOT pushing her out... in the car!

I figured she was not alive when I went into labor so early. I barely got on a bed in the hospital when I screamed at the nurses to get off me (they were trying to strap monitors on me but we knew she was dead by then) because in one big ol' push, just like an Octomom skit, she was catapulted into this world. I didn't hold her immediately because they immediately started pushing on my low abdomen to get the placenta out. I delivered her with no meds, but it was the placenta that hurt!

We did hold her, took pics and NILMDTS did take pics the following day. We had our angel cremated and her urn fits inside a teddy bear.

We are heartbroken. If it wasn't bad enough to lose our first pregnancy to a cord accident more than 4 years ago, then suffer 4+ years misdiagnosis of infertility (no one checked my husband - easier to say I was "old"), now we have a rare fluke to add to ther reason why we have 2 angels and no living children.

Funny, I thought facing 40 last yr with 1 angel and no l/c was the worst thing that could happen. Silly me... now it's 41 and we're 0-2. :eek:

Spare me the prayers and the plattitudes. Just thought I'd let yall know. Guess I should be thankful that god didn't allow her to suffer any more than she did. We did not want her to have to struggle against pulmonary issues caused by the heart defect if she was born alive. She passed a peacefully as possible.

Susan K Shelbrock
09-20-2009, 11:01 PM
I'm so very sorry. I know there are no words that are going to give you comfort, so all I will say again is...I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Valerie'sMomma
09-20-2009, 11:19 PM
Thank you for the update and I am glad you got some pictures of Aurora. She did live up to her namesake "Sleeping Beauty." The pic you have up of her is just lovely.

Jaydensmom
09-21-2009, 07:48 AM
Thank you for posting an update. I was wondering how you were doing, as you've been in my thoughts often. Aurora is beautiful, and I am glad that you spent some time with her and held her. So very sorry for your losses. truly.

Madge
09-21-2009, 10:08 AM
I remember you wanting her to have a merciful ending, and God did answer that prayer.
I'm sorry for your loss(es).

Abigailsmommy
09-21-2009, 11:59 AM
Carolyn, I am so sorry about Aurora and Daniel, sometimes life is so unfair !!!!
Please know we are thinking of you and Greg !!! We are all here for you.


HUGS
Jenni

MamaBethany
09-21-2009, 01:00 PM
Carolyn,
I'm extending my deepest, heartfelt sympathies to you over this loss of your daughter, Aurora. I also wish I could have met her. Thanks for giving us the update, and we'll be here for you in the future.
Jennifer

JillinGA
09-21-2009, 04:19 PM
Thinking of you.

momma to 2+ an angel
09-21-2009, 07:43 PM
Hey Carolyn -

Hang in there - You are being thought of.

Jenn

Teresa Howell
09-21-2009, 10:51 PM
(((hugs)))

Christine Barrack
09-27-2009, 01:34 AM
Carolyn,
Thanks for the update.
You have every right to feel angry. I'm there with you.
Just when I thought that the loss of my daughter was the worst thing I would ever go through our family has had recent events that are so much worse, I never imagined it possible. It feels like each second just sucks all that was good, all hope, all faith right out of me. I know you don't want prayers, but I will pray for you, think of you, send you positive thoughts. Its the only way I know how to make it through each breath I live myself.

Benjamin's Mommy
09-29-2009, 09:40 PM
I know you don't want platitudes and prayers, so I will keep those to myself. But know that we are here for you whenever you need us. ((Hugs))

Casey'smommy
09-30-2009, 12:52 AM
Aurora was beautiful and life has been terribly unfair to you and your husband. I brought my son's ashes home today and was thinking all day that nobody should have to go through this and it's unbelievable to me that you and some of the other folks on this site have had to go through this more than once. I'm so very sorry and will think of you often.

smileyone6969
09-30-2009, 11:27 PM
I too understand loosing two children I myself have been there.ours though was a chromosome abnormality as well that I am carrier for. we lost Shyanne and Piper 18 months apart.I feel your pain.If you ever need to talk PM me.
Becky
May God light your way along this dark path and carrier you when you cant walk anymore

PJBAC
10-05-2009, 11:32 AM
So sorry for your loss.

Lillee_angel
11-11-2009, 01:13 PM
My daughter, too, was diagnosed w/ holoprosencephly. She was diagnosed w/ it at 23 weeks. I had her at 36 weeks on Oct 8th 2009 & she only lived 4 hrs & 17 mins. It is STILL very hard to cope w/. She was my only daughter. Im so sorry that youve had to experience this. And I if you need someone to talk too, pm me or email me at charger69gurl@yahoo.com. Your daughter was a beautiful baby girl.

momma to 2+ an angel
11-11-2009, 03:12 PM
Carolyn -

Did you ever notice that your kids share something (besides you as their mom)?

Daniel 12/12/04
Aurora 9/10/09

12 + 12 + 4 = 28
9 + 10 + 9 = 28

Just noticed that and thought that I would let you know. I don't know what made me add the numbers, I guess because numbers are my thing.

Jenn

katelyn
12-04-2009, 10:35 AM
Thinking of you. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.

Galee
12-04-2009, 03:09 PM
Carolyn,
I know you have asked to be spared prayers and platitudes and...how can I not respond to your post? Your story sends a knife through my gut. I can only imagine what your gut feels like. Your anger is justified. It's so, so unfair. I don't know what to say except that if there is anyway I can be here for you, I would be honored.
Julia

Miranda
01-29-2012, 08:13 PM
So sorry to hear about your baby. She's beautiful